Tag Archives: mock news reports

THE MATRIARCH: THE SUPERHEROINE SAVES LAS VEGAS FROM AN ARMY OF PARACHUTING ELVIS PRESLEYS

A photo of the superheroine called the Matriarch in action

A photo of the superheroine called the Matriarch in action

Dateline: Las Vegas, NV  The costumed and voluptuous superheroine known only as the Matriarch was in action once again overnight last night saving the citizens and tourists of Las Vegas from a veritable army of looters all dressed as Elvis Presley and all of whom had parachuted in along the Strip and engaged in a night-long crime spree.

As the hours wore on, however, that crime spree became a running battle with the black-garbed Matriarch, and as she whittled down the numbers of the criminal army that running battle turned into a siege as the crooks attempted to Continue reading

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COSTUMED WOMAN CALLED THE MATRIARCH FOILS LAS VEGAS ROBBERY

THE MATRIARCH, costumed vigilante

THE MATRIARCH, costumed vigilante

Dateline: Las Vegas, NV  A costumed – and voluptuous – vigilante calling herself the Matriarch has declared war on crime. This violent woman has chosen Sin City of all places for her crusade against wrongdoing, a crusade which started two days ago when a young woman reported being saved from an attempted rape by the Matriarch’s timely arrival. The incident would have been dismissed as a hoax if not for the level of damage inflicted on the would-be rapist: the costumed woman whipped him nearly unconscious and then proceeded to kick him between the legs repeatedly with her sharp-toed boots. The accused assailant will likely never achieve a normal erection again for the rest of his life.

Overnight last night the Matriarch struck again, thwarting the attempted armed robbery of the Bellagio Casino. Bizarrely enough the heroine subdued the masked, commando-style gang by Continue reading

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