A photo of the superheroine called the Matriarch in action

A photo of the superheroine called the Matriarch in action

Dateline: Las Vegas, NV  The costumed and voluptuous superheroine known only as the Matriarch was in action once again overnight last night saving the citizens and tourists of Las Vegas from a veritable army of looters all dressed as Elvis Presley and all of whom had parachuted in along the Strip and engaged in a night-long crime spree.

As the hours wore on, however, that crime spree became a running battle with the black-garbed Matriarch, and as she whittled down the numbers of the criminal army that running battle turned into a siege as the crooks attempted to mount a last stand in the Stratosphere casino and hotel. The buxom masked avenger invaded the felons’ would-be haven and, pursuing the last of her criminal prey to the summit of the imposing structure, knocked them one by one to their deaths on the streets far below. This final battle took place in the form of a circular gauntlet with the stunningly beautiful Matriarch fighting her way around the lip of the Stratosphere’s highest level.  

The Stratosphere: Site of the Matriarch's final battle with the army of Elvises.

The Stratosphere: Site of the Matriarch’s final battle with the army of Elvises.

The question of multiple murders hanging over the head of the mysterious superheroine is clouded by the shocking identity of the army of dead and wounded men left in the Matriarch’s wake overnight. Astonishingly, what initially looked like an army of armed robbers all dressed as Elvis Presley parachuting into Las Vegas is now being reported as an army of ELVIS PRESLEY CLONES instead.

Identification of the armed men was initially complicated by the severe injuries inflicted on the army of Elvises by the black-clad superheroine. Contusions, black eyes and untold other physical damage at first obscured the uncanny resemblance of each of the would-be robbers. Sources at the Las Vegas coroner’s office have confirmed that each of the armed Elvises are completely identical and actually share the same dna.

Questions have arisen regarding the involvement of a former government scientist – Dr Memphis – who had supposedly obtained a stool sample of the late King of rock and roll when he was still alive and may have used that sample as a basis for crafting this massive army of clones. Dr Memphis’ research grant was cut off several years ago and he seemed to have vanished after that.

All that is known for certain at this moment is that Las Vegas has once again been saved from a criminal threat by the enigmatic Matriarch who may be one of seemingly hundreds of enhanced women here in Sin City and that’s assuming she actually lives here. The Elvis Army was thwarted in its attempt to loot and plunder millions of dollars, though countless millions in damages have been inflicted by the long overnight battle between the Matriarch and her foes.

The Strip and its environs remain littered with dozens of dead bodies clad like Elvis Presley in This is Elvis. Locally this night is already being referred to as The Night of the Dead Kings. Many of the clones were slain by having their hearts pierced by the Matriarch’s spike-heeled boots when she kicked them in the chest. Others were whipped to death, burned alive or slain by bullets from the superheroine’s dildo guns or by shrapnel from her vibrator grenades.

The merely wounded Presleys – several with their lips or nipples torn completely off by the Matriarch’s nipple and mouth clamps – have already been taken into custody by Federal Marshals and evacuated from the area. The exact legal status of killing clones has puzzled those legal experts Balladeer’s Blog was able to pry away from the blackjack tables so there is some doubt if there will be any grounds for charging the crime-fighting beauty called the Matriarch with any actual murders. More details will be passed along as they become available. 

FOR MORE NEO-PULP ADVENTURES WITH M*E*T*A*L, Teddi Barrett and Summer Cummings click here:

© The Matriarch character and all story elements copyright Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. 


Filed under Neo-Pulp


  1. I just wet the bed laughing…the dog is very under impressed with that fact…me too…now where are those clean sheets ???

  2. Now this is a superhero movie I’d go see!

  3. Elida

    Doctor Memphis! I love it!

  4. Hi there! I could have sworn I’ve visited this website before but after going through a few of the articles I realized it’s new to me. Regardless, I’m certainly pleased I stumbled upon it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back often!

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