TOMORROW’S TRUMP HEADLINES TODAY!

Mascot with demo and repub heads

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

Part of the fun of this chaotic presidential campaign has been watching the corporate media froth at the mouth and repeatedly lie about Donald Trump.

All of their efforts have been exposed as lies or malicious editing of former associates of Trump. (My favorite was when they tried claiming they interviewed previous women in Trump’s life who supposedly said bad things about him but the ladies immediately went on various news shows furiously pointing out that all their comments were distorted or taken out of context and that they had a very high opinion of the Donald.)

In that spirit here are some glimpses of possible anti-Trump headlines that the corporate whores of the American media might use. The fact that they’re all completely made up makes them AT LEAST as accurate as anything Huffpo or the New York Times put up.

Hillary Winking

Write in Bernie Sanders’ name or vote for Jill Stein.

*** SHOCKING POLL SHOWS THAT PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T LIKE TRUMP YESTERDAY DON’T LIKE HIM TODAY EITHER!

*** TRUMP’S INSANE CLAIM THAT MUSLIMS SOMETIMES COMMIT TERROR ATTACKS SURE TO ALIENATE MUSLIM TERRORISTS!  

*** TRUMP WRYLY RESPONDS TO LOADED, BIASED QUESTIONS FROM THE MEDIA, PROVING HE’S UNFIT FOR THE PRESIDENCY! 

*** TRUMP’S INTENTION TO ENFORCE PERFECTLY REASONABLE LAWS SHOWS HIS CAMPAIGN’S DESPERATION!

*** TRUMP SHOWN LOSING SUPPORT WITH PEOPLE WHO NEVER WOULD HAVE VOTED FOR HIM ANYWAY!

*** POMPOUS SNOBS SAY TRUMP UNFIT FOR OFFICE!

*** CARLOS SLIM INSULTS MELANIA AND DONALD INSULTS HIM BACK, PROVING HE’S UNFIT FOR THE PRESIDENCY!

*** INJURED MAN COMES OUT OF TWENTY YEAR COMA AND DOES NOT DENY THAT TRUMP ASSAULTED HIM! “Please stop asking me questions” victim whispers in a clear rebuke to the Trump Campaign 

*** TRUMP SHOWN LOSING SUPPORT IN POLL FINANCED BY HILLARY! 

*** PEOPLE WE GO TO LUNCH WITH THINK TRUMP IS FINISHED!

*** ANONYMOUS AIDE SAYS TRUMP IS VOTING FOR HILLARY!

*** CHELSEA CLINTON ENDORSES HER MOTHER OVER DONALD TRUMP! Is it over for the Donald? 

 

40 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

40 responses to “TOMORROW’S TRUMP HEADLINES TODAY!

  1. Love the party logo, though the guy’s boob job appears to be overfilled. (Is he still transitioning from his birth gender?) Good headlines too. Have you considered writing for the Enquirer?

  2. If the working class dont rally to vote for Trump this year they deserve what Hillary will do to them.

  3. Trump is the populist candidate.

  4. Do you mean that about why so many people support Trump?

  5. “in a clear rebuke to the Trump campaign” Sheer genius!

  6. Andy K

    These headlines were genius dude!

  7. Maggie

    This was fun! President Trump has done a wonderful job!

  8. Lenny

    These were so funny! Wish I knew about your blog back in 2016.

  9. Ayeesha

    President Trump has done more for the people than the democrats ever did.

  10. Dani

    I’m not a Trump fan but these were very funny. The media doesn’t realize how hated they are and that the more they attack Trump the more popular he becomes.

  11. Paula

    Very funny! Anti Trump lunatics are a menace!

  12. Irene

    President Trump in 2020!

  13. Megan

    Absolutely brilliant comedy!

  14. Venice

    Yay Trump! I hope he wins again in 2020!

  15. B Foera

    Hi :). I am from the Netherlands and we wish we had a leader like Trump.

  16. G Bradford

    President Trump turned out to be a great president!

  17. Steve

    I don’t like Trump but I agree your media goes way too far in criticizing every single thing he does.

  18. Damion

    President Trump has done a fantastic job.