TRUMP UPDATES

panic-signThe collective nervous breakdown by the American corporate media continues, so here are some more headlines reflecting this “new” style:

TRUMP HAS INCREASED THE NUMBER OF CHILDREN HE EATS ON A DAILY BASIS!

TRUMP DENIES THE ROLE HE PLAYED IN CRUCIFYING JESUS CHRIST!

CNN SAYS TRUMP IS MORE HITLERISHLY HITLERISH THAN ANY OTHER HITLERS WHO HITLERED IN HITLER-LIKE WAYS AT ANY OTHER TIME SINCE HITLER! AND BY THE WAY – HITLER! 

DEMOCRATS VOW TO MAKE 24/7 HYSTERIA THEIR STRATEGY FROM NOW ON!

CNN REPORTS THAT DISEASE WAS UNKNOWN IN THE WESTERN WORLD UNTIL TRUMP!

DEMOCRAT SCHOOL TEACHERS TELL THEIR TERRIFIED STUDENTS THAT DONALD TRUMP HATES EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM INDIVIDUALLY!

… AND TRUMP PROBABLY KILLED THEIR LAST PET THAT DIED, TOO!

MILLIONS REPORT THAT, OVERNIGHT, TRUMP BROKE INTO THEIR HOME, STOLE ALL THEIR FURNISHINGS AND REPLACED THEM WITH EXACT DUPLICATES! “Come over and see for yourself” outraged victims demand 

TRUMP OPPONENTS PROMISE TO BECOME SO SHRILL ONLY DOGS WILL BE ABLE TO HEAR THEM!

TRUMP WAS THE GUY WHO CUT YOU OFF IN TRAFFIC THIS MORNING!

PAUL KRUGMAN PREDICTS ORGASMS WON’T LAST AS LONG UNDER TRUMP ADMINISTRATION!  

CNN REPORTS TRUMP IS HIDING IN YOUR BEDROOM CLOSET RIGHT NOW!  

ASHLEY JUDD CLAIMS TRUMP AND HITLER ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MENSTRUAL BLOOD STAINING HER BED-SHEETS!

TRUMP IS LAUGHING AT YOU RIGHT NOW FOR ALL THOSE REASONS ONLY YOU KNOW! 

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4 Comments

Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

4 responses to “TRUMP UPDATES

  1. The one about stealing and replacing the furniture is so funny!

  2. Bob

    Yah the Hitler crap was getting to me too.

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