Tag Archives: Halloween

THE GOLEM: IN TONIGHT’S EPISODE IT’S SCIENCE VS THE SUPERNATURAL

Artist's rendering

Artist’s rendering

The fourth episode of the hot new cable television series 21st Century Golem premieres tonight. To nobody’s surprise the series is once again embroiled in a controversy over a throwaway element that manages to overshadow the actual storyline.

If you’ve been following this excellent but ultra-violent program you know that it features a clay monster called the Golem who is protecting modern-day Israelis – especially children – from the Hamas terrorists who revel in nonstop killing. Barack Obama has a recurring role as the comic-relief villain who distorts reality as much as he has to in order to side with the Hamas butchers and blame all the violence on the Golem. Little Barry is therefore a combination of J. Jonah Jameson from Spider-Man stories and General “Thunderbolt” Ross from Hulk stories.

In the pre-credits teaser the Golem rescues a few dozen hostages from the Muslim terrorists who have captured them. With the hostages freed and the terrorists all reduced to bloody bits by the rampaging monster Barack Obama is horrified and once again condemns Israel for the whole situation.

After the way he’s been humiliated in front of the entire world over and over again because of his ineptitude and dishonesty Obama is determined to assert himself in the Middle East. Under Continue reading

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THE GOLEM BATTLES THE REANIMATED CORPSE OF YASSER ARAFAT

Golem depicted by Philippe Semeria

Golem depicted by Philippe Semeria

Tonight’s third episode of the new cable television series 21st Century Golem finds the clay monster from Jewish folklore battling a zombified Yasser Arafat, the most famous Palestinian terrorist of them all.

The reason given for Arafat’s reanimation? Hamas’ storage of chemical weapons underneath Arafat’s burial place. The episode depicts the chemicals leaking into Yasser’s corpse and causing his body to rise from the grave to do what the madman loves best – kill innocent Israeli civilians. If only the makers of 21st Century Golem had waited they would have gotten some scripting help from this week’s revelation that Arafat’s corpse supposedly showed signs of poison. If they had known that would happen they could have thrown in a reference to the alleged poison mingling with the other chemicals to give us this zombie terrorist.

At any rate the Arafat zombie thrills the Hamas butchers, who feel they now have a supernatural ally of their own to use against the Golem who has been thwarting their murderous plans. After a Continue reading

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CONTROVERSY OVER LAST NIGHT’S HALLOWEEN EPISODE OF 21ST CENTURY GOLEM

A Golem as depicted in the 1920's silent film

A Golem as depicted in the 1920’s silent film

Last week’s premier episode of the new cable horror series 21st Century Golem sparked a fair amount of controversy with its depiction of a Golem wiping out Hamas terrorists who were targeting Israeli children. The show’s way of using Barack Obama as a comic-relief villain blaming the Golem for the violence and siding with the Hamas butchers prompted some outcry as well, mostly from Little Barry’s mindless and unquestioning supporters. But since those people still think Obamacare was a good idea it’s impossible to take them seriously. I applaud the show for having the courage to feature an American president in a villainous light. 

Last night’s episode of 21st Century Golem upped the ante and has caused a hundred times the uproar of that debut broadcast. The first act of the episode, titled Halloween for Hamas, featured the heroic Golem thwarting a Hamas plot to blow up a hospital full of Jews and Christians amid some incredibly violent scenes. Some have Continue reading

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TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY GOLEM: NEW CABLE TV SERIES

Golem (artist's rendering)

Golem (artist’s rendering)

The first episode of the hot new cable series Twenty-First Century Golem premiered last night. For the uninitiated the Golem is a clay monster from Jewish folklore created by a Rabbi to protect the Jewish people from their oppressors. Most Golem stories are set hundreds of years ago but this new show, from the director of the hit action movie The Burqa, is set here in the year 2013.

This Golem is created in Israel to protect Israeli civilians from mad dog Hamas terrorists. The Hamas butchers are targeting Israeli children and gleefully whooping as their fragile young bodies are blown to bloody pieces. The Golem wades into their Continue reading

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HORROR MARVELS: FIVE INTRIGUING BUT FORGOTTEN HORROR COMICS

Satana the Devil's Daughter

Satana the Devil’s Daughter

Balladeer’s Blog’s month-long celebration of Halloween continues! There are plenty of Marvel Comics authorities who could give you the story of the in-depth evolution of horror comics in the 1970’s, from the relaxing of the Comics Code around 1970 onward. I’ll spare all of us a trip down that particular alley and cut to the chase. Marvel Comics is THE comic book publishing house in pop culture right now with nearly every movie that ever gets made being based on a superhero figure from The House of Ideas.

The 1970’s saw Stan Lee and company churn out countless horror comics to cash in on the new flexibility in four-color storytelling. Some were long-lasting successes, like Tomb of Dracula, and others weren’t, like The Frankenstein Monster. When Marvel ventured outside established works by Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley and others they actually produced some very intriguing characters who had more potential than many actual horror films from the 70’s. Excluding the overworked Drac and Frank here are five of Marvel’s most intriguing horror figures from that experimental decade.

Satana

Satana

1. SATANA THE DEVIL’S DAUGHTER

Comment: How has this character NOT been the subject of multiple movies by this point? You’d think that Marvel would have learned long ago not to Continue reading

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HALLOWEEN SILVER JOHN TALES

Silver John: Can These Bones Live?

Silver John: Can These Bones Live?

My month-long celebration of Halloween continues! Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog will recognize Manly Wade Wellman’s Silver John from my Pulp Heroes page. Silver John, so- named because of the silver strings on his guitar and the silver coins he carried in his pockets, roamed the Appalachian Mountains decades ago combating dark supernatural menaces. On my Pulp Heroes page I’ve done a synopsis for each of the short stories featuring this neglected character, but this post will simply list the four tales most appropriate for Halloween.

4. THE LITTLE BLACK TRAIN – While performing with other musicians at a wealthy Southern Belle’s outdoor celebration Silver John finds himself trying to save his alluring but wicked hostess from losing her life to a ghostly train. That pitch- black train with coffin- shaped boxcars runs only at midnight on just one night a year to run down and take the life of a Continue reading

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ELEVEN MORE NEGLECTED BAD MOVIE CLASSICS FOR HALLOWEEN

Return of Dr X

Return of Dr X

My month-long celebration of Halloween continues! Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog are very familiar with my Bad Movie page where I examine plenty of under the radar movies that are hilariously awful. Previously I ran a list of the top Eleven Neglected Bad Movie Classics for Halloween. That was such a hit here is a list of eleven more neglected bombs. My Bad Movie page features full-length reviews of each of the movies I’m offering a synopsis of here.

THE RETURN OF DR X (1939) – The notorious film in which the legendary Humphrey Bogart played a zombified mad scientist named Dr Xavier who was brought back from the dead by another mad scientist named Dr Flegg. Much of the fun comes from Bogie’s unmistakable disdain for finding himself in the kind of stinker that Bela Lugosi often waded through. Bogie’s Dr X kills Continue reading

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FOUR ZOMBIE FILMS THAT ARE ACTUALLY UNIQUE

Balladeer’s Blog’s month-long celebration of Halloween continues! If you’re like me you’re bored with all of the zombie and pseudo-zombie films that seem to come out every few months. The 21st Century is as mired in tiresome, cookie-cutter zombie flicks as the 1980’s were in tiresome, cookie-cutter slasher flicks.

Here is a look at four films which, while technically classified as zombie films at least adopt unique perspectives and don’t follow established formulas.

Living Dead Girl

Living Dead Girl

1. THE LIVING DEAD GIRL (LA MORTE VIVANTE) (1982) – French director Jean Rollin helmed this introspective, touching and at times even poignant rendition of a zombie film. If you’re not familiar with Rollin’s work he often starts with a prosaic premise but then flies off into strikingly original territory with it.   

La Morte Vivante starts off with the trope of toxic waste artificially preserving and ultimately reviving the corpse of heiress Catherine Valmont (Francoise Blanchard). The barrels of toxic waste have been illegally stored in the Valmont family’s catacombs over the course of two years without their knowledge and Catherine’s first action when restored to life is to dispatch the men dumping the waste in swift and bloody fashion. Another corpse in the catacombs with Catherine is Continue reading

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THE GREAT GOD PAN (1890) : HALLOWEEN READING

The Great God Pan

The Great God Pan

Balladeer’s Blog’s month-long celebration of Halloween continues! Nearly a century before Rosemary’s Baby and The Omen trilogy and decades before H.P. Lovecraft’s Dunwich Horror and From Beyond there was Arthur Machen’s story The Great God Pan. Originally published in 1890 and then expanded in 1894 this gothic horror tale was so far ahead of its time that it scandalized readers and reviewers of the era. Even though it came along earlier than Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula Machen’s great work dealt with such a brand of horror and with such adult themes that movies – silent and then early talkies – wouldn’t dare adapting it for the screen. 

Thus denied the cinematic exposure that made names like Dracula, Frankenstein, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde household words The Great God Pan fell into undeserved obscurity, much like The King in Yellow by Robert W Chambers, a work reviewed previously here at Balladeer’s Blog.

Like so many of the best horror stories Machen’s tale begins with a mad scientist, in this case Dr Raymond, who invites his friend Mr Clarke to witness him perform an Continue reading

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NAKED FEAR: FIVE ODDBALL HORROR FILMS FOR THE HALLOWEEN SEASON

The Nude Vampire

The Nude Vampire

Balladeer’s Blog’s month-long celebration of Halloween continues with this look at five unusual movies with that certain seasonal feel.

5. THE NUDE VAMPIRE (1970) – France’s Jean Rollin is one of those love-them-or-hate-them directors. The snooty French often bashed his films for their devotion to style over all else. Don’t believe reviews which claim that his movies have no comprehensible storylines. Personally I find him more straightforward than Lynch or Jodorowsky. At any rate the central figure of this arthouse Euro-horror is indeed a beautiful female vampire in skimpy outfits and less.

Members of a Suicide Cult have taken to offering themselves up to a vampress who turns out to be science-spawned rather than supernatural. Throw in various allusions to evolution, morality and mortality for good measure. There’s plenty of eerie and macabre imagery to go with the subtext which not only addresses the previous concepts but also examines the way in which the older generation of any time period always considers the younger generation to be figurative “monsters” who will quite literally inherit the Earth.

I’m not sure if Anne Rice was influenced by Rollin’s films but Continue reading

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