MOVIES NOT COMING SOON TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU

Hollywoodland

Hollywoodland

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that is truly non-partisan in its criticism of those irrational zealots called Liberals and Conservatives. As I have often pointed out in the past there are no such things as right and wrong, there are simply things that a culture finds acceptable and things that a culture frowns upon. Six decades ago Hollywood films conformed to the tired Conservative cliches of Eisenhower’s America and earlier years. Today Hollywood films conform to the tired Liberal cliches of the Political Correctness Police.

In the 1950’s a movie depicting a gay (or black or female) character in the same positive way that the straight (or white or male) characters were depicted would be frowned upon. Today a Hollywood movie depicting a white, straight or (gasp) Christian character in the same positive way that the black, gay or Muslim characters are depicted would be frowned upon.

As always fringe filmmaking is where the courageous storytelling is to be found. The gutless, pandering Hollywood studios all make cookie- cutter movies lacking any sort of diversity in their worldview. Long ago it was uniformly mindless Conservative films being churned out by the dozens. In recent decades it’s been uniformly mindless Liberal films being churned out by the dozens. So let’s proceed with this light- hearted look at movies no Hollywood studio would touch today.

Crimson ImamNot Coming Soon – THE CRIMSON IMAM – A heroic Muslim woman dons a red costume and mask, then takes to the streets of her Muslim community punishing men who physically abuse women in the name of the outdated dictates of their religion. Calling herself the Crimson Imam she becomes a nationwide role model and inspires a large-scale feminist movement within Islam. Eventually women and gay people are embraced by Islam, with female clergy and gay marriages commonplace and with abortion rights a new Muslim priority.

What You’d See Instead – THE CRIMSON NUN – A heroic Christian woman dons a red habit and mask, then takes to the streets of her Christian community punishing priests who molest children and Continue reading →

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Filed under Fantastic Movie Reviews, humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

NOTEWORTHY POSTSEASON RESULTS FOR COLLEGE BASKETBALL AND HOCKEY FROM FEBRUARY 23RD

COLLEGE BASKETBALL GAMES THAT MATTER! The Conference Tournaments continue in the NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics)

IUS_LogoKENTUCKY INTERCOLLEGIATE ATHLETIC CONFERENCE – In quarterfinal action the top-seeded INDIANA UNIVERSITY SOUTHEAST GRENADIERS got more of a fight than they anticipated from the 8 seeds, the ALICE LLOYD EAGLES, but still emerged with a 77-68 victory.   ###   In the 2 spot the INDIANA EAST RED WOLVES eked out a 69-68 win over the (7) BRESCIA BEARCATS.   ###   The 4 seeds, the CINCINNATI CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY EAGLES, bounced the 5th seeded POINT PARK PIONEERS, by a score of 87-70.   ###   … And the (3) ASBURY EAGLES put up a Century Club- worthy 102 points to the 73 scored by the (6) BEREA MOUNTAINEERS.

McPherson College Bulldogs logoKANSAS COLLEGIATE ATHLETIC CONFERENCE – The 8th seeded MCPHERSON BULLDOGS continue to be THE story of the KCAC tournament. In the quarterfinals they stunned the top seeded UNIVERSITY OF ST MARY SPIRES with a 91-82 upset in Overtime. Yesterday McPherson edged the 4 seeds, the FRIENDS FALCONS, in an 81-80 nailbiter.   ###   The 3rd seeded STERLING WARRIORS, meanwhile, dispatched the 7th seeded OTTAWA (KS) BRAVES, 87-71, after the Continue reading →

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Filed under College Basketball

COOL-NAMED SPORTS TEAM: NORTHWEST CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY

Northwest Christian University BeaconsNORTHWEST CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY BEACONS

Location: Eugene, OR

Division: NAIA

Conference Affiliation: Cascade Collegiate Conference

Comment: How cool is the nickname Beacons? From the Pacific northwest comes this excellent institution of higher learning founded in 1895 by Eugene C Sanderson. As usual with NAIA schools NCU has Continue reading →

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Filed under Cool names and cool logos

PULP HEROES – THE MOON MAN: STORIES 19-21

Moon ManI’m continuing my look at Frederick C Davis’ pulp hero the Moon Man. In reality police detective Stephen Thatcher, the Moon Man stalked the night-darkened streets of fictional Great City clad in his black costume and his helmet made of one-way Argus glass. Armed with an automatic pistol plus limitless courage and ingenuity the Moon Man captured or killed Great City’s most dangerous criminals –  both white collar and blue collar – and robbed them of their ill-gotten booty. He would then distribute that money to the city’s Great Depression-ravaged poor. All this made him hunted by both the crooks AND the cops. For more on the Moon Man and other neglected pulp heroes click here: https://glitternight.com/pulp-heroes/

19. BADGE OF BLOOD – No, not Blood On The Badge, Badge of Blood. We are at the mid-way point of the Moon Man’s adventures, with 19 tales down and 19 to go! The opening teaser in this story finds our hero and his sidekick Angel burgling the mansion of tycoon Van Zant Latham. No that’s NOT a typo, and yes, the Moon Man succeeds, making off with jewelry worth hundreds of thousands of dollars IN 1930’s MONEY! Unfortunately during their escape Continue reading →

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Filed under Pulp Heroes

COLLEGE BASKETBALL CONFERENCE TOURNAMENTS CONTINUE IN THE NAIA

Huntington College Foresters logoCROSSROADS LEAGUE – The upset of the evening last night came when the 8th seeded HUNTINGTON COLLEGE FORESTERS stunned the 1 seeds, the INDIANA WESLEYAN WILDCATS, by a score of 81-69. The Foresters faithful will be talking about this game for years to come!   ###   In the 7 spot the MARIAN KNIGHTS, the reigning NAIA football champions, likewise shocked the prognosticators by taking down the 2nd seeded GRACE COLLEGE LANCERS  62-54.   ###   The (3) BETHEL (IN) PILOTS (as in riverboat pilots) performed as expected, defeating the (6) ST FRANCIS (IN) COUGARS in an 89-73 affair.   ###   … And in the typically tight 5 vs 4 matchup the (5) TAYLOR TROJANS beat the (4) SPRING ARBOR COUGARS in a 70-62 upset.

menlo college oaks logoCALIFORNIA PACIFIC CONFERENCE – In the opening round of the CPC tournament the 4th seeded MENLO COLLEGE OAKS let a healthy lead slip through their fingers, allowing the 5 seeds, the SIMPSON RED HAWKS, to force overtime. The Oaks emerged with a 111-103 victory in the extra session.   ###   … And the (3) UC- MERCED GOLDEN BOBCATS defeated the (6) PACIFIC UNION PIONEERS by a score of 73-54.   ###   The top 2 seeds had a bye in the first round, so on Friday the Golden Bobcats face the (2) CAL MARITIME ACADEMY  KEELHAULERS and the Oaks battle the Continue reading →

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Filed under College Basketball

LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND FANATICISM

Two children of privilege who represent everything worth despising about Liberals and Conservatives.

Two children of privilege who represent everything worth despising about Liberals and Conservatives.

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the internet that is truly non-partisan in its criticism of the shrill children called Liberals and Conservatives. Because of my frequent references to the way Liberal fanatics and Conservative fanatics continue to tear the country apart I sometimes get emails from them asking me how I define the word “fanatic”. I’m always delighted when Liberals can tear themselves away from trite racebaiting and Conservatives can tear themselves away from their Bibles long enough to send me a few hate-filled missives so I’ll be happy to clarify my definition of the word.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A LIBERAL OR CONSERVATIVE FANATIC IF …

… You actually think the members of one political party are “the good guys” and the members of the other political party are “the bad guys.”

… You’ve deluded yourself into thinking that any facts that don’t fit your political prejudices are  propaganda spread by Fox News Channel and talk radio (according to Liberal fanatics) or spread by the Liberal media (according to Conservative fanatics) .

… You avoid any Continue reading →

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

COLLEGE BASKETBALL: THE NAIA’S FEBRUARY FRENZY IS UNDERWAY

Chicagoland CollegiateOne of the reasons people often give me for why they find college basketball more of an effort to follow than college football is the amorphous nature of the regular season. Unlike in football, where every game counts, everyone knows that in college basketball the regular season does nothing but determine your team’s seeding in their conference tournament. Those conference tournaments are when even the most casual of fans begin to sit up and take notice since the stakes are clearer and winning the conference tournament will earn your team a spot in the national championship tournament.

Last night the NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) began its conference tournament season as the Chicagoland Collegiate Athletic Conference tipped off its 2013 tournament. The Top 3 seeds get a bye in the 1st round so not everyone saw action last night. Here are the results from Round 1.

150_Trinity-ChristianNot surprisingly the 8 vs 9 matchup was the tightest game of the evening. The 9th seeded TRINITY CHRISTIAN COLLEGE TROLLS pulled off the upset, toppling the (8) ROOSEVELT UNIVERSITY LAKERS by a score of 61-55. The Trolls (how can you not love their logo) held Roosevelt to just under 30% shooting including 2 of 26 from downtown. BJ Wortham led Trinity Christian with 14 points, followed by teammate Ezekiel Odonkor with 8 points and 12 rebounds. Four other Trolls contributed at Continue reading →

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Filed under College Basketball

JERRY BUSS R.I.P. – THE JERRY BUSS BLAXPLOITATION FILM “BLACK EYE”

Jerry Buss: He was no Arthur Marx.

Jerry Buss: He was no Arthur Marx.

Today legendary Lakers owner Jerry Buss passed away at age 80. Balladeer’s Blog will save the in-depth examinations of his career to those who are far better qualified to do it. Instead I will offer a fond farewell to one of the most beloved owners in professional sports in my usual oddball way: with a look at the one and only film turned out by Jerry Buss Productions.

That film was 1974’s Black Eye, one of the countless blaxploitation flicks of the 1970s. Fred “The Hammer” Williamson, the action hero of all manner of the decade’s blaxploitationers, from gangster dramas to westerns, starred in Black Eye as (what else) a private eye. Williamson portrayed Shep Stone, an L.A. detective trying to solve a series of murders centered around an elaborate walking stick formerly owned by a legendary silent film star. A prostitute stole the walking stick and wound up dead in an incident that served as the catalyst for Shep Stone’s involvement in Continue reading →

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Blaxploitation

VICE PRESIDENTS: A PRESIDENT’S DAY LOOK AT HISTORY’S SECOND BANANAS

John Adams

John Adams

Since it’s Presidents Day Weekend here’s another seasonal post.

John Adams called the Vice Presidency “the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived.” A very old joke went “Once there were two brothers. One ran away to sea and the other became Vice President. Neither was ever heard from again.”

In George S Kaufman’s and Morrie Ryskind’s classic stage work Of Thee I Sing one of the characters turns down an offer to be Vice President because he’s ashamed to have his mother know. He’s persuaded to accept the office when it’s pointed out that if he doesn’t tell her about it she’ll never find out.

The office has featured eminently forgettable figures as well as comic relief buffoons like Dan “The Global Village Idiot” Quayle and Joe “Koo Koo For Cocoa Puffs” Biden. In the light-hearted style of Balladeer’s Blog’s look at U.S. Presidents here’s a look at the men who got to hang around and see if the country’s Chief Executive wound up six feet under. I’m omitting VP’s who went on to actually become President, so no John Adams or Thomas Jefferson, etc. 

aaron-burrAARON BURR

Served Under: Jefferson 

Noted for: Shooting dead more Treasury Secretaries and hatching more plots to start his own country than any other Vice President. (So far, anyway.)

Best Burr Quote: “I’m still searching for the real killers of Alexander Hamilton.” 

GEORGE CLINTON

Served Under: Jefferson and Madison

Noted for: P-Funk and Funkadelic Leading American Rebel forces against the British troops of his loyalist cousin Sir Henry Clinton during the Revolutionary War. Continue reading →

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Presidential Rap Sheets

NOTEWORTHY COLLEGE BASKETBALL AND HOCKEY RESULTS FROM FEBRUARY 16TH

Loyola_WolfpackTOP 25 UPSETS – NAIA DIVISION ONE – The LOYOLA WOLFPACK hosted the number 9 FAULKNER EAGLES and handled them pretty impressively. They sent the Eagles home with a 61-43 loss. The Wolfpack improved to 15-11 with two more games left in their regular season. Faulkner is now 23-5, likewise with two regular season games left.   ###   The UNIVERSITY OF SCIENCE AND ARTS OF OKLAHOMA DROVERS toppled the visiting 23rd ranked MIDAMERICA CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY EVANGELS in a 74-69 Instant Classic   ###   … And the EVANGEL UNIVERSITY CRUSADERS went into overtime with the (T23) CULVER- STOCKTON WILDCATS before eking out a 79-78 home victory.

Embry-Riddle EaglesTOP 25 UPSETS – NAIA DIVISION TWO – The 14th ranked AVE MARIA UNIVERSITY GYRENES fell on the road to the number 16 EMBRY- RIDDLE EAGLES by a score of 71-58. With the win ERAU moves to 22-7 on the season with the Gyrenes falling to 21-7.   ###   In another clash of ranked teams the (23) BELLEVUE BRUINS toppled the visiting 15th ranked YORK PANTHERS  80-67   ###   … And the GRACE COLLEGE LANCERS handed the number 25 TAYLOR TROJANS a road loss in a Continue reading →

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Filed under College Basketball, college hockey