Two children of privilege who represent everything worth despising about Liberals and Conservatives.

Two children of privilege who represent everything worth despising about Liberals and Conservatives.

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the internet that is truly non-partisan in its criticism of the shrill children called Liberals and Conservatives. Because of my frequent references to the way Liberal fanatics and Conservative fanatics continue to tear the country apart I sometimes get emails from them asking me how I define the word “fanatic”. I’m always delighted when Liberals can tear themselves away from trite racebaiting and Conservatives can tear themselves away from their Bibles long enough to send me a few hate-filled missives so I’ll be happy to clarify my definition of the word.


You actually think the members of one political party are “the good guys” and the members of the other political party are “the bad guys.”

You’ve deluded yourself into thinking that any facts that don’t fit your political prejudices are  propaganda spread by Fox News Channel and talk radio (according to Liberal fanatics) or spread by the Liberal media (according to Conservative fanatics) .

You avoid any and all exposure to news outlets that challenge your preconceived notions. Sorry, fanatics, but the rest of us are fully aware that both Liberal outlets and Conservative outlets slant their coverage so you need to weigh both sides.

You think the hopelessly corrupt, divisive and inept Barack Obama is a wonderful president (Liberal fanatics) or a Muslim sleeper agent (Conservative fanatics) .

Your first response to all dissenting views is to label them either (yawn) racist or unpatriotic.

… You lie and claim you speak on behalf of all African Americans and all women (Liberal fanatics) or that you speak on behalf of all “decent Americans” (Conservative fanatics) .

… You froth at the mouth with hatred whenever you hear the name of either Sarah Palin or Hillary Clinton.

… You only ever vote for candidates from one political party.

… You’re simple-minded enough to believe that everybody must be EITHER a Liberal OR a Conservative instead of being fully- rounded human beings.

… Just because you hold one or two opinions that are generally considered liberal/ conservative you FORCE yourself to unquestioningly embrace all the other views that are generally considered liberal/ conservative. (I call these fanatics the “My side of the political spectrum right or wrong!” fanatics.)


© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.




  1. i really enjoyed this, but which one are you, liberal or conservative?

    • Thanks, but as I often say I’m neither liberal nor conservative – I’m an adult, which means I have some opinions that would be classified as liberal and some that would be classified as conservative. I reject the notion that people have to be mindless liberal zombies or mindless conservative zombies. Being liberal or conservative is a shortcut to thinking for most people who identify themselves that way. They aren’t able to weigh issues individually and formulate their own opinions so they hide in the safety of a crowd.

  2. rotfl This said it allright! Why do you think liberals are such assholes about this?

    • I think they’ve gotten spoiled because conservatives tend to be even more out of touch than they are so they actually think the rest of us agree with them even though at most we just consider them the lesser of two evils. But their totalitarian desire to dictate every minute of our lives has now blurred the distinction between liberals and even the most annoying religious conservatives.

  3. Dave Hall

    I’m proud to be a liberal. To dismiss everyone who is liberal or conservative is wrong headed. This sounds just as extreme as liberals and conservatives are. Are you a fanatical middle of the roader?

    • I’ve addressed the way liberals and conservatives misunderstand and misuse the expressions middle of the road and fence- sitting here –

      You can share your thoughts on that, too, if you like. I never expect everyone to agree with everything I say, that’s one of the reasons why I’m neither a liberal nor a conservative.

      I also think you’re missing the main point of my Liberals and Conservatives and … posts. Those two labels are incredibly outdated in my view. I believe INDIVIDUAL OPINIONS can be classified as liberal or conservative, but that people narrowly define themselves by forcing their entire worldview to conform to the old and tiresome liberal or conservative mode.

      You’ll notice this exchange between the two of us is fairly refreshing because it’s outside the usual boring liberal vs conservative terms. Neither of us is accusing the other of being a racist or unpatriotic or any of the other quick’n’easy labels that Liberals and Conservatives throw at each other instead of actually talking through the issues without trying to make the other party out to be a “villain”.

      Thanks for commenting! Always enjoy hearing other points of view!

  4. Very engaging. I respect your take on these things because ur clearly no conservative.

  5. Liberals and conservatives need to stop being such fanatics like u say.

  6. Taylor

    You never cease to amaze me in how central you are. You exploit flaws of each side with surgical precision and are speaking for most everybody. It’s not pro or anti freedom struggle, but rather an ego and/or power struggle fuelled by the desire to attain a seat of, what they consider, ABSOLUTE power. In this pursuit, they neglect one little countermeasure: checks and balances. Like you said, a race for office disguised as a life or death culture war.

  7. Taylor

    Seen it far too often, people staring down, condescendingly, at anyone who feels differently. Both sides are incredibly pretentious because, in point of fact, they seem to think their $0.02 is worth $2,000k compared to others. Examples: 1. Gun Control
    Liberals claim it’s all about the children, after a number of shootings that left dozens dead and many more severely wounded, including one of their own. It was only until Newtown did this issue become vital. That signals to me that Obama thinks we, adults, are disposable. Meanwhile, conservatives claim it’s civilian disarmament and advocate that everyone should own a gun. It’s this armed society equals polite society philosophy that killed their case from the get-go. So, everyone should own a gun, eh? A 5 year old, who has almost no dexterity or basic hand-eye coordination? A sociopath, who’d pimp his grandmother for a dollar? A cruel, manipulative husband, who’d use a gun to establish dominance over his wife? (gasp) Paradoxes, paradoxes, EVERYWHERE!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!
    2. …..Well I guess that’s the only I could think of, off the top of my head. (And, possibly, the funniest partisan skirmish in decades, since conservatives make up about half of their statistics, liberals use only the statistics that prove their point aka confirmation bias, and polls don’t really mean anything, anyway.)

  8. I like how you always go like “yawn, racism.” lol

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