HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP (1980) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following
Okay, this movie is better known than many of the other joyously bad films I review, but it still hasn’t acquired the reputation or the following it deserves as Midnight Movie or Movie Host material. Vic Morrow IS the heavy and Doug McClure IS another bland and unmemorable hero in this Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
Balladeer’s Blog examines two more ancient works which – if they had been deemed “authentic” (LMAO) – might have resulted in very different versions of Easter celebrations.
THE GOSPEL OF THE EGYPTIANS – This Apocryphal Gospel is also referred to as The Gospel According to the Egyptians. This particular work is dated to around the 100s A.D.
The surviving references to this Gospel center around conversations between Jesus and one of his female followers – Salome. The gist of the material is the Gnostic condemnation of procreation, since in their view the reproductive process does nothing but entrap even more spiritual matter in the physical world created by Yaldabaoth, the Demiurge.
Jesus calls for humanity to reject and despise “the shameful garment” called the body. He also hinted that once spiritual matter returns to the Pleroma that all duality will cease, including the notions of male and female, which will no longer be separate states of being.
One of the key sayings in The Gospel of the Egyptians is found when Jesus tells Salome “Death will endure as long as women give birth.” This concept is also alluded to when Jesus says “I have come to destroy the works of the female,” referring, of course, to all of us since our bodies – our physical prisons to the Gnostics – all emerged from the wombs of women. Continue reading
Filed under Mythology
Balladeer’s Blog presents another examination of an ancient Greek political satire.
TAXIARCHOI (Tax Collectors) – By Eupolis. Tax Day is the most appropriate day to examine this comedy because its premise serves as a pointed reminder of the inherent ugliness in all taxation – that the power to impose and collect taxes is, ultimately, backed up by the use of force. (If you doubt me go without paying your personal property taxes. Then we’ll discuss how much you truly “own” your home or your car.)
In Taxiarchoi the god Dionysus is depicted joining the title military unit. Those Taxiarchoi units would periodically collect the “taxes” or – in its most honest form – “tribute” from the various regions, not only of Athens proper but of the Athenian subject states. Military units were necessary for such tasks for the reasons you would expect – attempted resistance on the part of those being taxed and/or attempted robbery by bands of thieves after the taxes had been collected.
Sometimes a particular community might try to poor-mouth their circumstances and provide the taxiarchs with less money than had been assessed against them. In such cases the officer in charge was empowered to either seize portable property to make up the difference or to ransack the town and its vicinity to determine if the citizens were simply hiding their wealth. Continue reading
Filed under Ancient Greek Comedy
ISLAM
BREAKING NEWS: Muslim fanatics are STILL the ones behind the Boston Marathon Massacre, despite the way the media tried to blame it on Tea Party members.
Yes it was four years ago that the world got another reminder about the blood-soaked, homophobic and misogynistic savagery called Islam when the Tsarnaev brothers set off explosives at the Boston Marathon and seemed proud of it.
As if the attack itself wasn’t repulsive enough the American media made it even worse by once again showing their ugly biases.
Remember how they spent a few days implying that since the attack happened on Tax Day it must have been Tea Party members (the favorite bogeymen of the American left) who set off the explosives?
When the culprits turned out to be Muslims those same outlets looked even more foolish than they usually do. Yes, whiny Liberals, I know Fox News Channel and talk radio show conservative bias but all the other news outlets show liberal bias that is at least as blatant. Grow up and deal with it already.
This fourth anniversary we have the additional element that – despite this Boston attack and so many others during Obama’s time in office – our hopelessly biased media let him get away with claiming that there were no Muslim terror attacks on U.S. soil during his presidency. Another reason why our media is even more despised than our politicians.
As I pointed out four years ago after the attacks were revealed to be Islamic in nature and not tax-related:
I’d like to offer my condolences to America’s Liberals, who were salivating with the desperate hope that the massacre at the Boston Marathon could be blamed on the Conservatives they hate with such irrational fervor. Democratic Party stations like NPR, CNN and others which are the Liberal versions of Fox News Channel and talk radio were lovingly dwelling on the April 15th date (Tax Day), practically orgasming at the thought that Tea Party activists might have chosen that day to become as violent as Liberals pretend they are.
Let’s face it, American Liberals HAD to hope it was Conservatives behind the killings that we now know – and which anyone with common sense could have told – were really yet ANOTHER Muslim terrorist attack. They had to hope that because American Conservatives are the ONLY people in the entire world that the hypocritical cowards of American Liberalism will unconditionally criticize. American Liberals are far too spineless to even discuss the homophobia, xenophobia and misogyny of Islam, all while demonizing American Christians for having comparatively mild versions of those qualities. Continue reading
Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion
*** FEATURING A MAJOR MILESTONE IN THE SHOW’S HISTORY ***
Morning Breath
BEFORE MST3K THERE WAS … THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT!
In the mid-1980s The Texas 27 Film Vault was the show to watch on Saturday nights to see “Film Vault Technicians First Class” Randy Clower and Richard Malmos show and mock bad and campy movies preceded by episodes of old Republic serials. Machine-gun toting Randy and Richard would also have comedic sci-fi adventures before and after commercial breaks.
Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult series via my research into really old newspapers, my interview with Randy Clower and recollections from my fellow fans of this show. Keep those emails and comments coming “Vaulties”. Here’s another review of a movie shown when a date can be verified.
EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday August 9th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1am. * Special thanks to my fellow T27FV fan Spearman for the date.
SERIAL: Before the movie an episode of the 1950 Columbia serial Atom Man vs Superman was shown. Kirk Alyn starred as Superman with Lyle Talbot as his archenemy Lex Luthor. Lex has his own secret identity in this serial – each episode he dons a lead mask and oversees the villainy as “Atom Man”.
This was one of the liveliest and most campily watchable serials of the 50s. Especially laughable are the bits when Superman “flies” – an effect achieved by switching from live footage of Kirk Alyn to INSERTED CARTOON FOOTAGE of Superman flying. Think of the ‘Toons in Roger Rabbit interacting with the live backgrounds and you have the idea.
FILM VAULT LORE: The previous week our boys of the Film Vault Corps (“the few … the proud … the sarcastic”) had shown The Story of Mankind, another film with this episode’s interview subject: THE Vincent Price. Like this week’s showing of Return of the Fly it was used to promote Randy and Richard’s upcoming public appearance at the Dallas debut of David Cronenberg’s remake of The Fly. (More on that public appearance after the movie review) Spearman also tells me this August 9th episode also featured R&R’s interview with Vincent Price.
THE MOVIE: Return of the Fly is a black and white sequel to the Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts
Balladeer’s Blog continues its coverage of the world’s OLDEST team sport. FOR MY PRIMER ON POLO CLICK HERE
MATCH ONE: FLEXJET VS VALIENTE – Day Four of Polo’s U.S. Open began with this clash between the only two teams who remained undefeated in Pool Play. Namely Flexjet – Official Balladeer’s Blog Nickname: The Aviators – and Valiente – Official Balladeer’s Blog Nickname: The Valiants.
Flexjet is one of the two teams in this year’s Open which have a female member, in their case Melissa Ganzi. Valiente came into the Open having already won the first two titles in the American Triple Crown this year and need to win the tournament to complete the task.
FIRST CHUKKER – The Aviators accomplished the seemingly impossible task of shutting out the usually hot-out-of-the-gate Valiente team. Meanwhile, Flexjet’s Gonzalo Pieres scored a Goal from the field and another on a Penalty Shot from 30 yards out. Melissa Ganzi and her three teammates held a 2-0 lead.
SECOND CHUKKER – Fans of the Valiants were no doubt pleased to see their team’s Ace, Deuce and Chevy contribute 1 Goal each for their squad’s effort. The Aviators managed just 2 answering Goals themselves but still led the Match 4 Goals to 3.
THIRD CHUKKER – Flexjet continued keeping Valiente’s Diego Cavanagh very, very quiet. The Aviators swatted 3 Goals between the Uprights compared to the 1 scored by the faltering Valiants. Headed into Halftime, Flexjet was on top of Valiente by a count of 7-4. Continue reading
Filed under Polo
Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog know that I’m one of the many American Liberals who have distanced ourselves from the increasingly demented and outdated Democrats (DemoKKKrats). Call me a Populist or even an Anarchist if you must, but I think the terms Liberal and Conservative are being rendered meaningless.
When it comes to what passes for “education” here in America, people my age and younger have been buffeted over and over again by everything that the Western World ever did wrong. If you have an ounce of backbone – which automatically rules out the increasingly conformist cowards who call themselves Liberals – then you eventually reach the point where your own curiosity drives you to examine the history of all other parts of the world.
When you DO look into it you realize that all civilizations and all cultures have ugly elements in their history. You also realize that while the Western World is certainly AS BAD AS other parts of the globe it certainly is not WORSE or more abusive. That is why there is ever-increasing resistance to the simple-minded propaganda that American “educators” (LMFAO) mistake for scholarship.
The Left-Wing Archie Bunkers of the 1960s generation distorted Liberalism into a philosophy that was critical ONLY of the West and distorted the educational system into an intellectually stifling process. Those intolerant buffoons abused their positions as teachers to browbeat their students into agreeing with their many political prejudices.
Those same Left-Wing Archie Bunkers from the 1960s condescendingly think that just because THEY grew up on the absurd fantasy world of Father Knows Best and Leave It To Beaver that it surely means all students walking into their classrooms – at all levels – are just as naïve as they were.
The more you talk to those perpetual adolescents the more you realize that they are even more close-minded than they accuse previous generations of being. If you don’t agree with every bit of their silly worldview in which ONLY the eeeevilll Western Nations are forever in the wrong they all react the same way:
First comes the patronizing assumption that the only reason you don’t consider your own country to be the worst geopolitical entity in history is because you don’t know about various ugly aspects of your country’s past.
Even though BECAUSE OF THEM you were only ever taught the negative aspects of Western Civilization these 1960s burnouts convince themselves – over and over and over again – that you just haven’t been exposed to what they think are “the shocking facts” about Western History. (Those facts shocked THEM when they were young but certainly not any of us in the generations AFTER the 1960s.) Continue reading
Ghoulies
GHOULIES (1985) – This was a product from Charles Band, so lovers of bad 1980s horror films know what they’re in for. Ghoulies also had the distinction of being the last movie ever shown on the Pre-MST3K cult show The Texas 27 Film Vault (Covered extensively here at Balladeer’s Blog).
Jack Nance from Eraserhead and Mariska Hargitay from Law and Order: SVU can both point to this flick as their most embarrassing moment on screen.
Ghoulies poster
A Satanist played by rock singer Michael Des Barres leaves his mansion – which was the site of his Black Masses and human sacrifices – to a young couple played by Lisa Pelikan and Peter Liapis. They move into the creepy old place and the man starts to become possessed by the dark forces that linger in the mansion.
Eventually his dabbling in Satanic rituals causes his zombified father Malcolm (Des Barres) to climb out of his grave,which is conveniently located in the mansion’s backyard. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
Superhero-mania shows no signs of abating! Since Balladeer’s Blog’s recent look at the defunct Centaur Comics superheroes was such a hit I decided to post an entry on another of their neglected figures.
NIGHTSHADE
Secret Identity: Howard Hall, scientist
Origin: Wealthy young scientist Howard Hall found both science and his life of luxury to be ultimately unfulfilling. Immersing himself in the secrets of Eastern Mysticism he discovered he had a real knack for one particular Dark Art: endowing his shadow with life, solidity and super-strength.
Calling himself Nightshade, Hall costumed himself in a white tuxedo and white hat with a pair of large sunglasses serving as a mask. He used his new abilities to fight crime and other forces of evil.
First Appearance: Amazing-Man Comics #24 (October, 1941). His final Golden Age appearance came in 1942.
Powers: Continue reading
Filed under Superheroes
Balladeer’s Blog’s coverage of the world’s OLDEST team sport continues. Here are the men’s and women’s college Polo champions for this year.
MEN
National Champions – ROGER WILLIAMS UNIVERSITY HAWKS
Runners-Up – Southern Methodist University Mustangs
Score – The Hawks defeated the Mustangs 12-11.
2016 Champions – Texas A&M University Aggies Continue reading
Filed under college sports, Polo
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