Monthly Archives: June 2017

TELL OBAMA HE’S MADE ENOUGH MONEY

Obama eight yearsThe weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama – the official Worst U.S. President in History – once read the following line from his teleprompter: “At some point I think you’ve made enough money.”

Well, Barack, I think at this point YOU’VE made enough money, what with your Wall Street Prostitute speeches and the “book deal” plus the suspicious money that was long funneled to you from “admirers.” So from now on why don’t you lead by example and donate every penny you make to the suffering 99% who were left in even more dire straits by your time in office?  Continue reading

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion, Presidential Rap Sheets

THE FALLEN RACE (1892): ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION

Fallen RaceTHE FALLEN RACE (1892) – Written by Austyn Granville. If you’ve ever thought to yourself “How come nobody ever combined science fiction, H. Rider Haggard-style Lost Race tales AND kangaroo rapists” then THIS is the story for you. (And please stay away from children.) 

This novel is presented as if it is the real-life journal of the adventures of Dr Paul Gifford in the Great Australian Desert from 1874-1888. An ill-fated expedition into Australia’s desert is nearly wiped out by dysentery, thirst and spoiled food. The only two survivors are the aforementioned Dr Gifford and Jacky-Jacky, which may sound like the name of a Hip-Hop Artist but is really the name of an Australian Aborigine member of the expedition.  

Just in time this unlikely pair comes across a huge lake, which event saves their lives. Adjacent to the lake is the lush, green land of the Anonos, a species which is a cross between humans and kangaroos and resulted from a long-ago mass rape of Australian Aborigine women by kangaroos. No, I’m serious.

Finally, the lyrics of that Men at Work song make sense:

“I come from a land Down Un-derrr/ Where kangaroos rape and men plun- derrr”

The Anonos have the fur and the short, stubby arms of kangaroos along with their long tongues but are otherwise human. Their intelligence is below average, so I’m guessing it never occurred to them to refer to themselves as “Man-supials.” But I kid … Anyway this hybrid species lives in a crudely constructed city of sorts. Continue reading

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MISSISSIPPI UNIVERSITY FOR WOMEN JOINS THE USCAA

The USCAA (United States Collegiate Athletic Association) has welcomed a new member institution for the upcoming 2017-2018 season. 

Mississippi University for Women OwlsMISSISSIPPI UNIVERSITY FOR WOMEN

Team Name: OWLS

Location: Columbus, MS

Year Established: 1884

Comment: This institution was America’s very FIRST institute of higher learning specifically for women and is often known as “The W.” In 1982 the university became co-ed. Continue reading

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Filed under college sports, Cool names and cool logos

MUSLIM RAMADAN MURDER-PALOOZA 2017: FINAL BODY COUNT

Islam no democracy just IslamWho can say how many of us will be killed by Muslim fascists between now and next Ramadan? Whether it’s us or some of our loved ones who die one thing remains certain: before our/their dead bodies have a chance to cool the gutless apologists for Islam will be defending our/their killers.

And those same political robots will badger and harass those who mourn us to try to browbeat them into never using the words “Islam” or “Muslim” when referring to the murderous animals responsible.

But Ramadan 2017 ended a few days ago, so here’s our final body count:

PEOPLE KILLED IN TERRORIST ATTACKS IN THE NAME OF ALL OTHER RELIGIONS DURING RAMADAN 2017: 0 … ZERO … NONE.

PEOPLE KILLED IN TERRORIST ATTACKS IN THE NAME OF ISLAM DURING RAMADAN 2017: ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED NINETY-FIVE PLUS OVER ONE THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED SIXTY INJURED. 

June 23rd: Tal Adda, Pakistan – Even in Muslim nations Muslim fascists kill other Muslims for not worshipping the exact same way they do. So if you think converting to Islam will save you, forget it! On this date Lashkar-e-Jhangvi, the local affiliate of the Global Muslim Fascist Murder Machine, used bombs to kill SIXTY-SEVEN innocent people and injure TWO HUNDRED SIXTY-ONE more.   Continue reading

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

DEATH BED (1977)

I got a reader request to review the horror film Death Bed, but I already did in 2011. Here it is again and remember, to see if I already reviewed a movie click here: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/ 

Death Bed (1977)

DEATH BED – (1977) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following.     

A bed that eats everyone who lies on it is the hilarious premise of this actual straight-faced attempt at a horror film. You know how water-beds have water in them? This living bed has digestive juices in it. Its victims are somehow sucked through the membraneous material of the mattress and are broken down and digested by those juices. 

The viewer is treated to countless shots of human bodies (plus for variety an apple, a fly and a bucket o’ chicken) dissolving in the acid, looking like they’re being torn apart by millions of tiny piranha fish.

If you’re wondering how a four-poster bed in an abandoned mansion became a living being with a taste for human flesh, we’re told a tree-demon (no relation to the tree-monster in From Hell It Came) temporarily incarnated as a human being to seduce a woman on the bed. At one point in the tale the blood-colored tears of the demon fell on the bed, thus creating our hungry, hungry hero. Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season

COLLEGE GOLF CHAMPIONS FOR 2017: WOMEN

As always, I will list the men’s and women’s champs separately. Here’s one last round of congratulations to this year’s women’s golf champions in the 7 divisions covered here at Balladeer’s Blog:

OklahomaCityStarsNAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics)

National Champions – OKLAHOMA CITY UNIVERSITY STARS

Runners-Up – Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University (AZ) Eagles 

Previous Champions – Keiser University Seahawks 

Dallas Baptist University PatriotsNCCAA (National Christian College Athletic Association)

National Champions – DALLAS BAPTIST UNIVERSITY PATRIOTS

Runners-Up – Campbellsville University Tigers

Previous Champions – Dallas Baptist University Patriots  Continue reading

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MANTIS 14: THE STAR STALKER

READERS CANNOT GET ENOUGH SUPERHERO ITEMS THESE DAYS. FOR PART 1 OF BALLADEER’S BLOG’S EXAMINATION OF THE MARVEL SUPERHEROINE MANTIS CLICK HERE   

Avengers 124 star stalkerTHE AVENGERS Volume 1, Number 124 (June 1974) Beware the Star Stalker 

The Celestial Madonna Saga continues! Our previous installment ended with some of the Avengers (Thor, Iron Man, The Black Panther, The Vision and MANTIS) at the Temple of the Priests of Pama in the jungles of Vietnam. Meanwhile the other two Avengers (The Scarlet Witch and The Swordsman) were back in the capitol city with Wanda aiding the Swordsman, who had been tortured for information regarding the temple’s location.

The Avengers themselves had only found that temple through the aid of Libra, from the supervillain team Zodiac. Libra had been revealed as the father of the mysterious superheroine Mantis and claimed both he and his daughter had been trained by the Priests of Pama.

The Vietnamese drug and vice lord Monsieur Khruul (no relation to Mademoiselle Unkhiind) had used his super-powered minions to slaughter every single Priest of Pama. The Avengers and Libra defeated Khruul’s men (his “Khrewe” you might say) then found the dying crime boss himself slashed to ribbons in the temple’s dungeon.

The criminal chief’s dying words were “Beware the Star Stalker.” Unknown to the Avengers, the Star Stalker – a giant, red-scaled dragon-like creature – was watching them from above, seemingly poised to strike.     

BEWARE THE STAR STALKER

Synopsis: The Avengers have no idea who or what the “Star Stalker” might be. From hiding, the creature itself continues to observe our heroes as they split up and search every nook and cranny of the temple but find nothing.

Despite her continued claims that she remembers nothing about this temple, her father or the Priests of Pama, Mantis eventually intuits the location of a device to open a secret passageway. The Black Panther expresses suspicions that she might simply be lying about not remembering anything but Mantis sarcastically inquires if she is “on trial.”

Mantis star stalkerAt any rate the hidden passageway leads the Avengers right into the chamber that the Star Stalker had slunk away to. The creature now stands up on two legs and threateningly addresses the Avengers since, during its years of captivity in the temple, the Priests of Pama had taught the Star Stalker Vietnamese, English, French and presumably other languages as well.   

The Avengers attack the creature, whose very scales seem to ooze energy. After a furious battle it becomes apparent that physical attacks on the Star Stalker do little damage and energy blasts like Iron Man’s repulsor rays simply feed it and make it more powerful. That prompts the Vision to refrain from using the solar rays he shoots from his eyes and our heroes attempt to regroup.

The group also notes that the temple itself is in danger of collapsing from the damage the battle has inflicted. The Star Stalker points out that such destruction is nothing – he intends to destroy the entire planet as he destroyed countless others during his thousands of years of life. He further states that other life forms are meaningless and he is all that matters.    Continue reading

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