Tag Archives: 2016 election

July 25, 2016 · 8:52 pm

WIKILEAKS: DOING THE JOB “JOURNALISM” MAJORS QUIT DOING LONG AGO

Mascot with demo and repub heads

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

Thank WikiLeaks for the latest proof of what I and so many other fed-up Americans have been saying for years – that people (especially overseas) need to abandon the silly notion that the Democrats are “the good guys” to the Republicans’ “bad guys.” BOTH PARTIES ARE THE BAD GUYS! Grow up and accept that already! 

Since America hasn’t had a truly free press in a very long time WikiLeaks has picked up the ball. Their most recent coup came with the release this weekend of over 19,000 confidential emails between Political Class Operatives at the Democrats’ National Committee. The fallout from this has already caused the resignation of DNC head Debbie Wasserman Schultz and has ignited many other scandals for the white collar criminals of the Democratic Party.

The most prevalent outrage at the moment has been regarding the revelation of the great lengths the DNC went to to pave the way for bloated rich pig Hillary Clinton and to sabotage the candidacy of Bernie Sanders. Thousands of Sanders supporters marched in protest over this in Philadelphia, the site of the Democrats’ National Convention this year.

Feel free to peruse the online lists of the complete set of exposed emails. Choose your own website, too, since Liberal fanatics are as paranoid as Conservative fanatics are about anything that might put their candidate or party mandarins in a negative light.

The enormous level of collusion between the Democrats and the alleged reporters of the mass media outlets surprised even a cynical, Third Party booster like me. All that plus emails reflecting the kind of comments that Democrats label “racist” and “homophobic” when other people make them. Even worse, they insist those people have to lose their livelihoods over them. Continue reading →

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June 30, 2016 · 9:35 pm

HILLARY: I GET TO MOVE ON, BUT YOU PEASANTS ARE ETERNALLY GUILTY OVER SLAVERY

hillary yelling

   I can put whatever I want behind me! But YOU DAMN PEASANTS can’t! I miss the days when you citizens knew your place and didn’t talk back to your betters! 

Every revelation that comes out about Benghazi makes it clear that Hillary “Bugsy” Clinton and Barack “Tony Ears” Obama lied about a video causing the 2012 Benghazi attack just to spare Barack looking like a jackass over his ludicrous claims that Al Qaeda was “on the ropes.”

Despite all that, Hillary tries to pretend it’s all nothing and that she can just “move on” now. I guess she feels that anyone stupid enough to believe ANYTHING she and/or Barack say isn’t worth caring about. So the Four Dead in Benghazi are to be thrown down the Memory Hole but the Four Dead in Ohio are to be rehashed forever.

A nonexistent reporter asked Hillary if the untold millions of working class white Americans who had absolutely NOTHING to do with the slave trade that her Democratic Party championed can finally “Move On” from it she replied “NEVER! I am one of the Ruling Class! WE are allowed to “move on” from our many,many scandals, crimes and misdeeds, but YOU PEASANTS are to be browbeaten into political submission over things you had nothing to do with FOREVER!”

When that same reporter followed up by pointing out that that didn’t sound at all like that “fairness” that the Democrats forever claim to be about the bloated rich pig replied “That’s different. It’s politically useful for the Party to continue pushing the ridiculous notions of White Privilege and Collective Guilt.”  

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June 2, 2016 · 9:32 pm

REPUBLICAN BILL KRISTOL:STILL CRAZY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

Panel left to right: Margaret Hoover - Political Contributor, CNN, Author, American Individualism, President, American Unity Fund; Bill Kristol - Founder/Editor, The Weekly Standard, Contributor, ABC News;

Funny Man Bill Kristol: He always keeps the straightest face this side of Leslie Nielsen while making everyone around him convulse with laughter!

Oh, I know for most people the late Andy Kaufman will always be the greatest “concept” comedian ever, but I’ve always been partial to funny man Bill Kristol. Bill’s send-ups of smug, pompous, callous and snobbish Conservative pundits have been making me laugh for years. Like Paul Reubens with his Pee Wee Herman character or Paul Schaeffer with his Vegas schmoozer act, Kristol never broke character. His serious expression made the da-da-esque comedy spilling from his mouth even funnier.

Sure, Stephen Colbert stole Kristol’s act, but Colbert was always too mainstream. Even the most humorless people knew Colbert was spoofing that annoying windbag Bill O’Reilly but real hipsters knew there were huge elements of Bill Kristol’s shtick stolen line for line. It’s like how the early rock’n’rollers unashamedly stole a lot of black music, y’know?  

This week Kristol churned out his latest comedy masterpiece: he plucked a guy named David French out of the Federal Witness Protection Program and claimed he was running the stooge as a Third Party Candidate! This after teasing the “big reveal” over the Memorial Day weekend on social media, bragging about how potent this mystery candidate would be. Ah, Bill! You still got it!

This is funnier than Firesign Theater’s “Papoon for President” bits or Steve Gerber’s “Howard the Duck for President” gag way back in 1976. Leave it to Bill Kristol to find a mock candidate even more absurd than those!  Continue reading →

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May 24, 2016 · 8:19 pm

HILLARY CLINTON’S NEW CAMPAIGN SLOGANS

Hillary Winking

“If you don’t admit nothin’ then the prosecutors ain’t GOT nothin'”

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site that criticizes American Liberals and Conservatives equally. In 2012 I published new campaign slogans for Newt “Get off my lawn” Gingrich, a Republican. Here’s a look at new campaign slogans for Hillary Clinton of the Democratic Party.

*** “DON’T MAKE ME BEG!”

*** “ALMOST LIFE-LIKE AND ALMOST THE NOMINEE!”

democratic party donkey

The Party of millionaires who pretend to hate capitalism!

*** “VOTING FOR BERNIE SANDERS MAKES YOU A RECRUITING TOOL FOR THE ISLAMIC STATE!”

*** “THE FEDS CAN’T PROVE NUTHIN‘ ON ME!” (Incidentally, that slogan has also been used for criminals trying to climb the ladder in the Mafia)

*** “I CAN EMPATHIZE WITH THE STRUGGLES OF WOMEN TRYING TO LIVE ON A MERE MILLION OR TWO DOLLARS A YEAR!” Continue reading →

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May 2, 2016 · 12:01 am

DEMOCRATIC PARTY ASKS: WHY SHOULD AMERICAN CITIZENS BE ALLOWED TO VOTE?

democratic party donkey

“Oppressing people while posing as the oppressed!”

The Democratic Party, aka the party that is just as much in the pockets of one percenters as the Republican Party is, has adopted an aggressive new policy. Previously the Democrats were happy simply to have untold numbers of illegal immigrants vote for them in U.S. elections. They did that by forever fighting the use of voter i.d since they know illegals will vote overwhelmingly for the Democrats. The same applies to all of the convicted felons Democrats want to let vote.

Now the Democratic Party (Motto: Oppressing people while posing as the oppressed) has decided to take that strategy to the next level by indignantly asking what makes those snotty American citizens think they themselves have any right to vote! What nerve!

Mascot with demo and repub heads

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

Bernie Sanders agreed, proclaiming “It is the height of racism for working class Americans to think that we – their rightful rulers – have to let them vote! Our party needs to strike a blow for diversity and social justice by letting ONLY non-citizens vote. If anyone objects, just say ‘Those aren’t American values, dude’ and they’ll shut right up! It’s great being a politician when the voters are such browbeaten pussies that they’ll back down the minute they’re faced with any opposition.”

“That last sentence was off the record.” the former writer of rape porn quipped. As for candidate Clinton, she demanded $260,000 to provide any comment on the matter and referred all inquiries to her new campaign website. Access to that web site costs just $10,000 per week. 

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April 15, 2016 · 6:11 pm

DEMOCRATIC PARTY CALLS FOR CASH INCENTIVES FOR ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS WHO COMMIT MURDER

democratic party donkeyThe Democratic Party candidates Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton both enthusiastically endorsed the Party’s latest policy: cash incentives for illegal immigrants who murder American citizens.

Sanders vowed to make the cash incentive – called “Dollars for Diversity” – at least a high four-figure sum. Clinton outdid her opponent by insisting the cash incentive be “At least five figures or let there be riots, dammit!” The two figures jockeying for the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination this year agreed to compromise – $9,000 would be awarded to the murderous “Diversity Warriors” from American taxpayers, and an additional four-figure amount would be diverted from any life insurance proceeds that would otherwise go to the white oppressors’surviving loved ones.

Any American citizen who objects to losing their dead loved one’s insurance money to the people who murdered them are to be fired from their jobs and lectured about how selfish they are. “That’s not who we are, dude” will be the prevailing sentiment directed at those privileged white oppressors.  

Obama laughing

Mr Joe Johnson of Trenton, NJ expressed public astonishment at the proposed policy and was torn limb from limb by Democratic Party “Love” activists. Barack Obama vowed that bigoted behavior from the likes of the late Joe Johnson just proves how far America still has to go to combat racism.

Obama also announced that this new policy of cash incentives for murderous illegal immigrants is far too important to wait until after the election. He promised to issue an Executive Order diverting funds intended for American Terrorists through so-called V.A. Hospitals and instead offering them directly to anyone who says they were not born in the United States.  

When asked what steps his administration would take against selfish, racist Americans who dared to object to this new policy Obama confidently replied “Americans are such brow-beaten, masochistic pussies that I don’t think they’ll do anything to object. The government could tell them that their children will be required to salute illegal immigrants and American trash would meekly accept it!”

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March 20, 2016 · 3:43 pm

TO THE FOURTH POWER (2013): MORE RELEVANT THAN EVER

American FlagThis review is especially relevant to the insanity of the 2016 U.S. presidential campaign and the increasingly open hostility between the voters and the ugly criminals who hold elected office. 

TO THE FOURTH POWER (2013) – You’d think it would be impossible to do something creative with the mock documentary format at this point but To The Fourth Power proves to be a thought-provoking and inventive piece set “just a few years from now”.

The movie depicts a near future in which the American people have taken back the 4th of July and have transformed it into more than just a celebration of the nation’s birth: into an expression of the rapidly rising public resentment at the way elected officials represent the wishes of their political party and not the wishes of the people who elect them. Continue reading →

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March 16, 2016 · 5:45 am

DEMOCRATS: THE TELEVANGELISTS OF POLITICS

Hillary Clinton

*** *** *** *** *** ***  The Democratic Party’s Tammy Baker

The 2016 presidentiaI campaign season has been the poster child for why we need Third Parties as salvation from the two rival gangs of white collar criminals called the Democrats and the Republicans. Those organizations have repeatedly ignored the wishes of the voters to pursue disastrous policies, then sanctimoniously lecture the increasingly powerless electorate about how WE are supposedly to blame for the policies none of us wanted in the first place.

The Democrats have become the new version of the Religious Right and hypocritically act like THEY are fit to denounce “hatred” despite pursuing political strategies that operate purely on setting Americans against each other. Uh. Yeah, Democrats. As if YOU are qualified to EVER accuse anyone else of using divisive rhetoric.  

Mascot with demo and repub heads

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

We’ve all heard you callous, pompous snobs express contempt for the working class. We’ve heard you ridicule the way working class people dress, we’ve heard your vicious mockery of people who shop at Wal-Mart, or live in trailer parks or have been too poor to afford proper dental care. We’ve heard your hate-filled epithets of “redneck” or “cracker” or “hick” and then you piously act like you’re qualified to police the language that the poor use to express their justified contempt for the political class.

Every Democratic Party demagogue resembles nothing so much as the sleazy televangelists like Jim and Tammy Faye Baker, Jimmy Swaggert, Ernest Angley and so many others. Just LISTEN to bloated rich pigs like Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi or even Bernie Sanders. (Yes, overseas readers, Bernie is also a millionaire and his wife’s name has even come up in banking investigations like they were members of the repulsive Bush family) They are nothing but Elmer Gantry’s in political office. Continue reading →

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March 4, 2016 · 5:14 pm

MITT ROMNEY AND I ANNOUNCE WE’RE NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

Mitt Romney

*** *** *** *** *** *** Not even the endorsement of Senor Wences could help the pathetic Mitt Romney.

The dual announcement shocked the nation … if by shocked you mean “had absolutely no impact whatsoever on the 2016 presidential race” or “you’d need an electron microscope to measure public reaction.”

I outdid Mitt “The Mormon Mondale” Romney by also announcing that I would NOT accept an appointment to fill the vacancy on the U.S. Supreme Court, NOR will I accept an offer to become the next actor to play Indiana Jones.

Reaching my hands across the water I made it abundantly clear that I will NOT agree to be the next star of Doctor Who either. The public be damned – I have to think of myself and my loved ones.  

Anyway, since Mitt decided he wanted a slightly larger footnote in American history, I got in the mood for my Mock Campaign Slogans for him and Obama from 2012. Here they are one last time for nostalgia’s sake. 

Barack Obama: If shallow, uninformed and emotionally unstable entertainers think he’s fit to govern the nation who are YOU to question their judgement?

Barack Obama: All the ineptitude of Jimmy Carter … all the corruption of Richard Nixon.

Barack Obama: Because the problems of the 21st Century call for 1960s solutions.

Barack Obama: Continue reading →

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March 1, 2016 · 11:47 pm

TWENTY-THOUSAND MASSACHUSETTS DEMOCRATS HAVE LEFT THE PARTY

Mascot with demo and repub heads

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

Balladeer’s Blog has long expressed disgust with the Democratic and Republican Parties, those two rival gangs of white collar criminals who have hijacked America’s political system. Defections from the Republican Party have been growing at a nice pace and now comes word from William Galvin, the Democratic Secretary of State from Massachusetts that at least TWENTY THOUSAND registered Democrats in the state FLED THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY … JUST SINCE JANUARY 1st OF THIS YEAR!

Most of the former registered Democrats joined Yours Truly as Independent Voters and about 3,500 actually re-registered as Republicans. Again, that’s JUST SINCE JANUARY 1st!  

And let that sink in – this wasn’t a “poll” – these weren’t just people expressing annoyance with the would-be “Royal Houses” of the Democrats and Republicans. These 20,000 people TOOK THE TIME AND EFFORT TO CHANGE THEIR POLITICAL PARTY REGISTRATION! Wow, it’s like voters are getting tired of having career criminals with (D)’s and (R)’s after their names talking down to them and accusing them of being haters for caring about how their loved ones will be able to afford to live in the coming decade.   Continue reading →

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