MITT ROMNEY AND I ANNOUNCE WE’RE NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

Mitt Romney

*** *** *** *** *** *** Not even the endorsement of Senor Wences could help the pathetic Mitt Romney.

The dual announcement shocked the nation … if by shocked you mean “had absolutely no impact whatsoever on the 2016 presidential race” or “you’d need an electron microscope to measure public reaction.”

I outdid Mitt “The Mormon Mondale” Romney by also announcing that I would NOT accept an appointment to fill the vacancy on the U.S. Supreme Court, NOR will I accept an offer to become the next actor to play Indiana Jones.

Reaching my hands across the water I made it abundantly clear that I will NOT agree to be the next star of Doctor Who either. The public be damned – I have to think of myself and my loved ones.  

Anyway, since Mitt decided he wanted a slightly larger footnote in American history, I got in the mood for my Mock Campaign Slogans for him and Obama from 2012. Here they are one last time for nostalgia’s sake. 

Barack Obama: If shallow, uninformed and emotionally unstable entertainers think he’s fit to govern the nation who are YOU to question their judgement?

Barack Obama: All the ineptitude of Jimmy Carter … all the corruption of Richard Nixon.

Barack Obama: Because the problems of the 21st Century call for 1960s solutions.

Barack Obama: Greece or bust!

Barack Obama: African American when it’s politically expedient, “post- racial” when THAT’S politically expedient.

Barack Obama: Mindlessly embracing every opinion of 1960s generation liberals because he has no ideas of his own.

Barack Obama: Like you DIDN’T think we had 57 states and that Austrian was a separate language!

Barack Obama: Protecting crazed dictators and the homophobic, misogynistic, intolerant Muslim world from the nation whose diverse people elected him.

Barack Obama: It’d be a shame if something happened to you on your way home after voting …

Barack Obama: The President of ALL Americans who donate millions to his campaign.

Barack Obama: Because his nonstop groveling for the Muslim world has made them just love us! Oh, wait …

Barack Obama: If you elect a sleazy Chicago politician you get a sleazy president.

Barack Obama: Can’t you take a joke?

******************************************

Mitt Romney: No, seriously … Mitt Romney.

Mitt Romney: If we all borrow money from our parents we can lick this deficit thing!

Mitt Romney: You can’t spell mittens without Mitt!

Mitt Romney: For people who found Bob Dole too charismatic and exciting.

Mitt Romney: Who SAYS nobody could do a worse job than Obama?

Mitt Romney: Maybe he thinks YOU suck, too!

Mitt Romney: Like he’ll be able to get his nutty ideas through Congress anyway.

Mitt Romney: We’ll never have to waste time adding his face to Mount Rushmore!

Mitt Romney: No, he’s not asleep. He always looks that way.

Mitt Romney: Remaining true to his Vulcan heritage he betrays no sign of emotion.

Mitt Romney: The Mormon Mondale

Mitt Romney: Pushing women back to the 50’s … the EIGHTEEN 50’s!

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© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog 2012-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

16 Comments

Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

16 responses to “MITT ROMNEY AND I ANNOUNCE WE’RE NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

  1. Rose

    Mock campaign slogans???? I’ll have you know I made bumper stickers out of those slogans in 2012!

  2. seo

    Very funny! Mitt was a doormat.

  3. Who’s Mitt Tomney?

  4. Brad Harrison

    Loved the senor wences joke!

  5. Corey

    I love it when you bash Romney!

  6. Damion

    Loved it! Romney is such a loser!

  7. Bashir

    This was great! I loved the insults!

  8. Elinor

    Too funny! Mitt was such a joke! : D.

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