MOCK HEADLINES STRIKE AGAIN

It’s the long-awaited return of Balladeer’s Blog’s mock headlines:

Michael Wolff as Dr EvilDELUSIONAL TRUMP-HATERS OFFICIALLY GO INSANE OVER MICHAEL “DR EVIL” WOLFF’S ANKLE-BITING OF PRESIDENT TRUMP  

WHITE SUPREMACIST MICHAEL WOLFF’S BOOK CLAIMS DONALD TRUMP KILLED ELVIS PRESLEY

DEMOCRATS INSIST THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP SAVED AMERICA’S ECONOMY JUST TO SPITE THEM

MICHAEL WOLFF VOTED CREEPIEST-LOOKING MAN IN THE WORLD FOR TENTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR

PAUL KRUGMAN OFFERS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO ANYONE WHO WILL COME FORWARD AND SAY THEY HAD SEX WITH HIM

MICHAEL WOLFF CLAIMS BARACK OBAMA BEGS MELANIA TRUMP FOR HER SOILED PANTIES (Hey, it’s on the same level as anything else this guy writes.) 

Tom SteyerBLOATED RICH PIG AND CORPORATE FASCIST TOM STEYER REDUCED TO HANDING OUT COPIES OF THE WOLFF BOOK

MICHAEL WOLFF’S BOOK CLAIMS GOD TOLD HIM HE THINKS PRESIDENT TRUMP IS “A BIG POO-POO HEAD”

DEMOCRATS MOVE TO IMPEACH PRESIDENT TRUMP UNDER LITTLE-KNOWN “BIG POO-POO HEAD” PROVISION IN CONSTITUTION

SOURCES SAY MICHAEL WOLFF ASSOCIATES CONSIDER HIM A CHEAP GOSSIP MONGER

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ORION: THE ELVIS PRESLEY HOAX/ PUT-ON/ TEASE

5.1.2

It’s Battle of New Orleans Day AND Elvis Presley’s birthday! In the past I’ve posted my review of Change of Habit, the Elvis movie with him as a doctor, Mary Tyler Moore as a nun and Ed Asner as a cop. I’ve also posted about the musical in which Elvis IS Andrew Jackson – Rock ‘N’ Roll vs the Redcoats. (With an Ann-Margret drag queen as pirate Jean Lafitte. )

This time around I’ll dredge up the often-neglected Orion business from decades ago. It was a fun bit of nonsense that only the most far-gone Elvis Conspiracy Theorists take seriously. As always I consider conspiracy theories, put-ons, hoaxes and ARG’s to be modern variations of myth and folklore.

Yes, Elvis died in 1977. That’s not the point. The point is the way the whole Orion/ Jimmy Ellis/ Elvis Conspiracy rabbit hole deserves to be studied forever because of the way fiction and reality seemingly influenced each other to the point where they became almost inseparable.

Orion 2

I WANT EL SANTO AND I WANT HIM NOW!

If you’re new to these events get ready for the Elvis Presley equivalent of Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds radio broadcast. And let me make it clear I’m not accusing anyone of anything. I have no idea what anyone’s motives were regarding any aspect of the following.

I’ll present the tale in the style of the fictional Carl Kolchak – as “items” in a list:

ITEM: Elvis Presley died in August of 1977, yet in the years that followed an ever-increasing body of folklore and myth would develop regarding the late rock star supposedly faking his own death. His motives varied according to the theory.

ITEM: For a time Elvis sightings seemed to outnumber sightings of Bigfoot, UFOs and the Loch Ness Monster combined.

ITEM: The novel Orion was published. Conspiracy lovers often cite either 1977, 1978 or 1979 as the year of publication, so you can see how deep some of the rabbit holes run.

ITEM: Orion featured a very Elvis-like young man from the American south who becomes a sensation as a rock singer. In the end the character Orion is so weary of the stresses of stardom that he fakes his own death to get away from it all.

Orion RebornITEM: Claims are made that enigmatic power players managed to get the novel removed from bookstores. The claims are sometimes accompanied by insinuations that this was done because the book might have struck too close to reality with its “fake death” ending.   

ITEM: A masked singer – who looks like a standard Elvis  impersonator except for the mask – appears and calls himself Orion. He begins releasing albums and performing in public. This Orion’s first album, tantalizingly titled Reborn, is released in 1978. Continue reading

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MY COUSIN’S AIRSHIP (1902): ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION

My Cousin's AirshipMY COUSIN’S AIRSHIP, A TALE OF 1950 (1902) – Written by W.F. Alexander. Though written in 1902 this story is set in a fictional 1950 which has seen incredible scientific advances.

The action begins in England, where our narrator lives with his true love Margaret. His cousin Stephen Rankin – a former rival for Margaret’s affections – is a nasty mean-spirited mad scientist figure.

Stephen has invented a new type of aerocar which can travel 45 miles per hour, which we readers are told makes it the fastest aircraft of 1950. (!) As a peace-making gesture the inventor invites our narrator along for a joyride in the airship. Continue reading

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TWELVE MORE COOL HELMETS FROM NEGLECTED FOOTBALL TEAMS

Balladeer’s Blog’s readers just love these! Here are some more before pro football season is over.

Downington Wests WhippetsDOWNINGTON WEST WHIPPETS

Comments: WHIPPET! Whippet GOOD! Long-time readers of Balladeer’s Blog will surely remember George the Whippet and his owners in the U.K.

Whippets are terrific dogs and more teams should be named after them.  

Bangor SlatersBANGOR SLATERS

Comment: I’m assuming the rivals of the Slaters are the Zachs. (rimshot)

So their helmets may not have any cool logo or design on them but c’mon, some helmets are so cool that just their stark simplicity and kickass shell color makes them iconic.  Continue reading

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CRYSTAL WRIGHT: A MARTIN LUTHER KING WOMAN OF COURAGE

Martin Luther King Day is approaching. Some of the most courageous champions of Doctor King’s dream of a society in which people are judged by their character rather than their skin color are PEOPLE OF COLOR WHO DARE TO DEFY THE DEMOCRATS. Here is a look at one of those heroic women.

crystal-wrightCRYSTAL WRIGHT

Ms Wright runs her own website and makes personal appearances around the country. Race-baiting Democrats always harass people like her who are brave enough to form their own political opinions despite the condescending disapproval of hate-filled American Liberals. 

The vile abuse that Democrats throw at her for defying them will disgust you. Continue reading

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MOTORCYCLE SQUAD (1937)

Motorcycle SquadMOTORCYCLE SQUAD (1937) – This neglected little honey is one of the earliest, if not THE earliest, biker films. Kane Richmond and Wynne Gibson star in a story about a motorcycle cop who is dishonorably discharged from the police force as part of a ruse to send him undercover.

Seems a pack of motorcycle-riding crooks are at large and our hero’s skill with a chopper makes him the ideal next recruit for their gang, all the better to bring them down from within.

With my weird sense of humor I get a huge kick out of this film’s cleaned-up 1930s version of what would become biker movie tropes in later decades. And there are moments when you’ll be half-convinced that the creative team behind the 1960s biker movie Wild Rebels based their flick on Motorcycle Squad, albeit with a drag racer infiltrating the gang instead of a cop.  Continue reading

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COOL-NAMED TEAM: FIVE TOWNS COLLEGE

Five Towns College SoundFIVE TOWNS COLLEGE SOUND

Location: Dix Hills, NY  

Division: USCAA (United States Collegiate Athletic Association)

Comment: Located on Long Island, Five Towns College was established in 1972 and has gained a reputation as a path to music-related careers in the entertainment industry. Continue reading

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Filed under college sports, Cool names and cool logos

BILLY SQUIER: MY KIND OF LOVER

Actually Billy Squier and I are just platonic friends. Honest. It’s another musical shoutout from Balladeer’s Blog. It’s not My Candelabra, though that DOES sound like what Billy is singing. Nor is it Joe Kenda Lover, which would be just plain silly. No, it’s Squire Squier’s hit song My Kinda (Kind Of) Lover.

 

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PURPLE RAIDERS WIN BALLADEER’S BOWL VIII

Mount Union Purple RaidersBalladeer’s Bowl always pits the NAIA football champs against the NCAA D3 football champs. The results are in, and for only THE SECOND TIME the Champions of NCAA D3 – this year the UNIVERSITY OF MOUNT UNION PURPLE RAIDERS – defeated the Champions of the NAIA – this year the UNIVERSITY OF SAINT FRANCIS (IN) COUGARS. 

The voting ended today and the Purple Raiders won, 228 votes to 192. CONGRATULATIONS TO THE PURPLE RAIDERS, THE WINNERS OF BALLADEER’S BOWL EIGHT! That’s two years in a row that the St Francis Cougars have let down the NAIA!  

Here are the results of the seven previous Balladeer’s Bowl matchups: Continue reading

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A SITE THAT REHASHES PRESIDENT TRUMP’S FIRST INCREDIBLE YEAR

Trump triIt’s no secret that Donald Trump is our very first de facto Third Party President. I am enjoying watching the political realignment here in the U.S. as the white collar criminals called Democrats (DemCorp) and Republicans (RepubCorp) keep proving – day after day – the ugliness of America’s cesspool of corruption that Trump is fighting.

I feel that the writer at this site is sometimes a bit too generous with his praise for President Trump but he covers a LOT of items that the Democrats in the media tried to lie about or ignore.

Trump over mediaESPECIALLY all the manufacturing jobs that Trump has brought back to the U.S. after Little Barry Obama tried saying “Those jobs ain’t coming back.” Obama was, as always, wrong. And countless working class people (the kind of people that Obama and the rest of the Democrats HATE) are grateful that Barack was wrong.

FOR THE ENTIRE ITEM CLICK HERE

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion