This weekend’s escapist superhero post from Balladeer’s Blog looks at Marvel’s 1970s adaptation of one of Robert E. Howard’s best Conan the Barbarian stories, published shortly after his suicide in 1936.
RED NAILS – I always like to emphasize that – despite the way Marvel Comics’ 1970s and 1980s Conan stories kept the character’s name alive and introduced new generations to him – the Cimmerian was not a mere comic book figure. Iconic author Robert E. Howard introduced Conan on the printed page in his 1930s stories featuring the character.
That being said, I acknowledge the excellent adaptations that Marvel did of many of Howard’s works. They also adapted REH’s King Kull and Solomon Kane. Previously Balladeer’s Blog examined the company’s version of Queen of the Black Coast and others.
And that brings us back to Red Nails. With Barry Windsor Smith’s art and Roy Thomas adapting the story, this three-part work originally appeared in the black & white Marvel magazine Savage Tales #2-3 (Oct 1973-Feb 1974). Full-color versions of the tale were later reprinted in the Conan Treasury and elsewhere.
I. This first installment introduces readers to a blonde female pirate – Valeria of the Red Brotherhood. She is the only female pirate among them and is as notoriously deadly as the others. NOTE: Yes, this is the character that Sandahl Bergman played in the 1982 Conan the Barbarian film. That movie made her a standard thief instead of a pirate and – sadly – gave her the “ghostly return” scene that actually belonged to Conan’s true love Belit (Bay-LEET) from Queen of the Black Coast.
In the Stygian city of Sukhmet Valeria was in between seagoing adventures and was forced to use her sword to kill a powerful man who tried forcing himself on her. She fled to avoid arrest and Conan, already attracted by her beauty and fighting skill, rode after her. While following her he slew the brother of the man she killed to prevent him from avenging himself on Valeria. Continue reading
THE QUEER SIDE OF THINGS (1890s) – Written by James Frank Sullivan. Straight from the Gay Nineties, it’s a selection of Sullivan’s contributions to the Strand magazine’s short fiction column The Queer Side of Things. 
Before MST3K we had The Texas 27 Film Vault! Before Joel and Mike we had Randy and Richard! (I often start my reviews of this 1985-1987 cult show this way to cut down on messages from people who don’t pay attention to the broadcast dates and try insisting that Randy and Richard “ripped off” MST3K. That’s impossible since their show came first.) 
SERIAL: For this episode the movie was preceded by a chapter of Mysterious Doctor Satan, about a mad scientist trying to conquer the world with a very goofy- looking robot. Another extra was Randy and Richard’s interview with Ben Johnson at his ranch. Johnson appeared in the episode’s film as well. 
THE MOVIE: TERROR TRAIN – A New Year’s Eve slasher film set on a train carrying a load of partying passengers who plan to ring in the New Year in each time zone of the United States. As required by law at the time, Jamie Lee Curtis starred since it was a slasher flick with a seasonal theme. (Look under the Federal Halloween, Halloween II and Prom Night Act of 1980 if you don’t believe me.) 
*** 1. UNIVERSITY OF MOUNT UNION PURPLE RAIDERS ### 2. NORTH CENTRAL COLLEGE CARDINALS (defending national champions) ### 3. JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY BLUE JAYS ### 4. SAINT JOHN’S UNIVERSITY JOHNNIES ### 
5. SUSQUEHANNA UNIVERSITY RIVER HAWKS ### 6. HARDIN-SIMMONS UNIVERSITY COWBOYS ### 7. UNIVERSITY OF MARY HARDIN-BAYLOR CRUSADERS ### 8. SALISBURY UNIVERSITY SEA GULLS ### 
The Etruscan people, who were a bit of a bridge between the ancient Greek world and the emerging Roman world long ago, remain a historical enigma in so many ways. 
TINIA – The Chief of the Etruscan deities, like Zeus to the Greeks and Jupiter to the Romans. In the Etruscan creation myth Tinia separated the Earth from the sky and delineated borders between nations. Tinia ruled the sky and wielded three sorts of lightning bolts – one sort for warnings, one sort for intervening in affairs of gods or men for good or ill and one sort for inflicting catastrophes. 
ESPIONAGE (1963-1964) – This British spycraft anthology series was produced for ITV in Great Britain. Assorted time periods were used for the stories, but most center around the Cold War and World War Two. The series ran for 24 one-hour episodes.
I’m far from the first person to be pointing out the absurd mistakes that A.I. can make when basically left on its own. Rather than devote this blog post to some of the potentially catastrophic errors that can be made via A.I. I will instead look at the jaw-dropping blunders made by YT channels that rely entirely on A.I. scripts and narration. 
Balladeer's Blog 