Author Archives: balladeer

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About balladeer

I am passionately interested in college sports, ancient Greek comedies, bad/weird movies, mythology, the American Revolution, Puck Magazine, World War I, U.S. Presidential history, silent movies, the English Civil War, epic, lyric and comic poetry, U.S. Supreme Court history, the Revolutions of 1848, the Philippine War and old pulp heroes like The Moon Man, Pilot G8, Silver John and The Rio Kid.

THE GALLOWS MAN: NEGLECTED HORROR LEGEND

Balladeer’s Blog’s month-long celebration of Halloween continues with this slice of pure Americana.

gallows-manTHE GALLOWS MAN – This is another neglected American horror legend which has been presented in many different versions over the years. Ralph Sutherland was born in 1702 in either New York City or a town near the Catskills, depending on the version.

Sutherland was born into the New York gentry but in his adult years his drinking and gambling eventually embarrassed the family enough that they stopped associating with him. After boozing, whoring and gambling away a large part of his money Ralph was left with just one reasonably-sized home surrounded by a stone wall. He had enough funds left to maintain that house and took in an indentured servant – a beautiful teen girl from Scotland.

Sutherland’s foul and obnoxious nature soon led the girl to flee. In a rage Ralph mounted a horse and tracked her down before she got far. The black-hearted man tied the terrified girl to his horse and rode back to his home, but was either so furious or so drunk that he inadvertently dragged the poor female to her death. Continue reading

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LET’S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!

From The Rocky Horror Picture Show, it’s the proverbial song that needs no introduction! 

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CANDACE OWENS PROVES ONCE AGAIN THAT DEMOCRATS DON’T OWN BLACK PEOPLE

Mascot with demo and repub headsDemocrats were furious when other Americans freed their slaves. Ever since then Democrats have been race-baiting, condescending and bullying to black voters who challenge their political party machine. Democrats think black people are only “officially” black if they shut up and obey the Democrats.

Candace Owens refuses to take orders from the party of slavery, the Ku Klux Klan, the spoils system, the Japanese Internment, the Trail of Tears, Tammany Hall and Jim Crow. Here she is with another Profile in Courage, taking hypocritical white Democrats to task:

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THE CENTENARIAN (1822): GOTHIC HORROR

CentenarianTHE CENTENARIAN (1822) – Written by THE Honore de Balzac. Thirty-one days of Halloween continue here at Balladeer’s Blog! The Centenarian or The Two Beringhelds was one of the “quickie” novels that Balzac wrote in his early career, this one under the pseudonym Horace de Saint-Aubin.  

Balzac himself looked down on The Centenarian and other early works that he churned out for quick money like the Pulp writers of a century later. Still, this work has value, just like the early Pulp stories from writers like Tennessee Williams, Dashiell Hammett and others. Plus I’m a Napoleon geek so I love immersing myself in the time period in which the novel is set.

The title character is really Count Maxime Beringheld Sculdans. The Centenarian was born in 1470 and led an adventurous life, supposedly even serving as a ship’s doctor when Columbus visited the New World. During his wanderings across the globe Count Maxime studied all the medicine and related sciences that he could.

Under the Rosicrucians the Centenarian learned various secrets of alchemy, including universal healing powers and immortality. Those last two secrets often worked hand in hand: Maxime would use his powers to mystically withdraw the illness or injury out of a sufferer but his “fee” was the draining of the life essence of another person in return. 

Honore de BalzacThe Centenarian leeches out the vitality of his victims but NOT by sucking out blood like a vampire. He drains their life force via alchemical means with his “medical” equipment. By the time of the French Revolution and the Napoleonic Wars, Count Maxime has grown a bit weary of his eternal life in typical Gothic style.  

In recent centuries our title character has devoted himself to secretly watching over his family line, mysteriously saving their lives or killing off their enemies at crucial periods. The Centenarian has most recently intervened in Spain during the Wars of the French Revolution, saving the life of his descendant General Tullius Beringheld.

Intrigued, Tullius seeks out information on his enigmatic savior and eventually learns the Centenarian’s true identity and about his supernatural nature. By this point (the 1790s) Maxime’s body is misshapen. His arms are emaciated but his torso and legs are thick and muscular.

He is unusually tall but the skin on his head is so thin that his  scalp and facial features resemble a living skull. He smells of the grave but his powers of healing make others treat him with fear and respect despite the awful fee he demands.  

The Centenarian’s additional powers include immunity to hanging and other forms of mortal injury. He has superhuman strength and his fiery eyes can induce fear, paralysis or death. He can read minds and teleport as well.   Continue reading

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ALICE COOPER’S NO MORE MR NICE GUY

Freddy's NightmaresBalladeer’s Blog’s month-long celebration of Halloween continues with this song. Everyone remembers Alice Cooper’s youthful depiction of Eddie Haskell on Leave it to Beaver. (I’m KIDDING!) Here’s Cooper with his song No More Mr Nice Guy.

If Alice Cooper aka the pre-Marilyn Manson version of Marilyn Manson isn’t enough of a tie-in to Halloween for you, just remember that No More Mister Nice Guy was also the title of the very first episode of the horror anthology series Freddy’s Nightmares. My review of that series is HERE  

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HARVEY WEINSTEIN’S ENABLERS

EnablersHere’s an appropriate political cartoon about the shallow, uninformed and emotionally unstable entertainers who reportedly served as enablers of Harvey Weinstein’s alleged sexual assaults and/or rapes. For decades, supposedly.

Hollywood hypocrites like this are always lecturing the rest of us about these types of crimes, which would be like Catholic Priests lecturing the rest of us about the molestation of little boys.

And along the way now George Clooney has been accused of helping to blacklist women who tried to come forward against Weinstein.  

TALK ABOUT A RAPE CULTURE!

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DYLAN DOG: DEAD OF NIGHT (2010)

Dylan DogDYLAN DOG: DEAD OF NIGHT (2010) Halloween Month continues with a look at the luckless Brandon Routh’s turn as this film’s title character, Tiziano Sclavi’s horror hero from Italian comic books. Sclavi launched Dylan Dog’s series in October of 1986 and under various creative teams the series is still running.

(Years ago I reviewed the film version of Tiziano Sclavi’s Dellamorte Dellamore from 1994.) 

Dylan Dog, an investigator of vampires, werewolves and other monsters, is an international cult hero beloved by comics fans around the world … which, of course, meant that any deviation from what the fan-boys wanted would cause them to hamstring the movie adaptation at the box office. The internet giveth and the internet taketh away.

In my opinion Dylan Dog: Dead of Night does not deserve its bad reputation. Compared to the many, many other films and television programs about heroic battlers of the paranormal this was certainly a top shelf production. The fact that this cinematic adaptation came along decades later than it should have is the main problem.  

Dylan Dog 2Let’s go by the numbers, knowing full well that budget and projected box office returns limited many of the creative decisions:

I. The Dylan Dog comic book was set in London (?). This movie was set in New Orleans, a change of locale that I actually like, given London’s overuse in horror films. Needless to say, this put the worst type of fan-boys in a VERY bad mood right off the bat.

II. The creative team behind Dylan Dog: Dead of Night kept the mood light. I agree with that choice given the inherent campiness and absurdity of an investigator who encounters werewolves, vampires, zombies, etc in horrific settings that are often reminiscent of Film Noir detective stories. The worst type of fan-boys bemoaned the “lack of the sad and serious tone of the comic books.”

III. In the comic book Dylan Dog’s sidekick in his investigations was Groucho, a Groucho Marx impersonator whose built-in craziness caused him to BE Groucho 24/7. For obvious legal and monetary reasons an American film version could not use Groucho as Dylan’s sidekick. The worst type of fan-boys were even more disenchanted.

Dylan Dog 3IV. The cinematic sidekick for Dylan was a new creation – Marcus, played by Sam Huntington, who had previously appeared with star Brandon Routh in the ill-fated Superman Returns (2006).

(Poor Routh. If only he had also starred in Frank Miller’s 2008 movie The Spirit he could have notched an all-time Hat Trick for starring in unfortunate comic book adaptations. Talk about not even being able to win for losing.)   Continue reading

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MUSLIM FASCIST ATROCITY ROUNDUP: OCTOBER 16th

Islamophobia posterHere at Balladeer’s Blog I devote a lot of space to those courageous Muslims who take on the fanatics in their own faith PLUS the condescending white Westerners who think that ONLY Muslims who hate the Western World are “authentic.”

For the flip side of that here’s another look at JUST A FEW recent attacks by Muslim fascists empowered by Democrats in the U.S. and by Labour in the U.K. and by  “educators” (LMAO) everywhere: 

October 14th: Mogadishu, Somalia – Another reminder that even in majority Muslim nations Muslim fascists will always go on killing other Muslims who don’t worship in the exact same way that the Muslim fascists want them to. Two Muslim fascist suicide bombers detonated two trucks, killing THREE HUNDRED TWO innocent people and injuring FOUR HUNDRED TWENTY-NINE more.  FACEBOOK BANS NEWS ITEMS ABOUT THIS STORY.

September 10th: Fakirabazar, Myanmar – Muslim fascists killed EIGHTY-SIX innocent people for being Hindus instead of Muslims. Coexistence! FACEBOOK BANS NEWS ITEMS ABOUT THIS STORY.

October 16th: Nkiedonwhro, Nigeria – Fulani terrorists – the local franchise of the Global Muslim Fascist Murder Machine – killed TWENTY-NINE innocent people. FACEBOOK BANS NEWS ITEMS ABOUT THIS STORY. 

September 8th: Ancha, Nigeria – Fulani terrorists – the local franchise of the Global Muslim Fascist Murder Machine – killed 19 innocent people and injured 5 more, all because the victims were Christian instead of Muslim. Coexistence! FACEBOOK BANS NEWS ITEMS ABOUT THIS STORY.  

September 11th: Sinai, Egypt – Agents of the Islamic State (Obamastan), which was spawned by Barack Obama’s premature withdrawal from Iraq, used a suicide bombing to kill 18 innocent people and injure 7 more.  FACEBOOK BANS NEWS ITEMS ABOUT THIS STORY.

Continue reading

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SEASON OF THE WITCH: HALLOWEEN SONG

Halloween Month rolls along with another musical shoutout. This one goes out to Ione Skye’s father Donovan with Season of the Witch.

 

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TOP SEVEN ROBERT LUDLUM NOVELS: NUMBER TWO

FOR BALLADEER’S BLOG’S SEVENTH PLACE LUDLUM NOVEL CLICK HERE 

Bourne Identity2. THE BOURNE IDENTITY (1980)

TIME PERIOD: Vietnam War era to the late 1970s.

Robert Ludlum’s most popular fictional creation – Jason Bourne (Real name David Webb) – has become as thoroughly overused, distorted and bastardized as James Bond or Sherlock Holmes. Ludlum himself already watered down the character’s original impact with two additional novels putting the amnesiac figure in increasingly ridiculous situations.

Since then other writers have churned out so many silly Bourne stories (ten at last count) to the point where Jason Bourne In Spaaaaace is the only avenue left unexplored. Or maybe a crossover with All My Sins Remembered. The Matt Damon movies use virtually nothing but the Jason Bourne name.

To me the bulk of the appeal of the original novel The Bourne Identity was that a reader only had to suspend disbelief just enough to accept an amnesiac figure surviving the unique set of circumstances presented in that story.  

Bourne Identity 2At the end it was accepted by all characters that David Webb/ Jason Bourne was in no condition to continue his intelligence work. Not only because of his amnesia but because he had found happiness with Marie, which made him lose the near-suicidal edge he had needed to succeed as Bourne.  

In my opinion Ludlum should have done PREQUEL stories of David Webb as Delta in the Vietnam War’s Operation: Medusa or his days pursuing Carlos as Cain/ Jason Bourne PRIOR to his amnesia.    

HERO: Since there are virtually no spoilers left about this character who has had everything but his own comic book series I will go ahead and lay out all the details of the ORIGINAL figure. This is for potential Bourne fans who associate him purely with the silly super-soldier nonsense of the movies and have avoided him because of that.

I think transferring Jason Bourne to more recent time periods robbed the story of a great deal of its unique appeal. Movies CAN work as period pieces. Studios still churn out spy flicks set during World War Two for crying out loud. There’s no reason why they can’t keep the period setting for stories dependent on the Vietnam War or late Cold War events for their full impact. 

So again … HERO: DAVID WEBB, an American scholar who specialized in ancient Vietnamese culture and spoke multiple regional languages. Webb had been serving in various diplomatic posts throughout Indochina and had a Vietnamese wife and children.

Bourne Identity 3When his wife and children were killed during a fly-by strafing from a plane of unknown national origin Webb left diplomatic work and volunteered for the top secret Operation: Medusa. (Ludlum’s fictional version of the real-life Phoenix Project.)

Under the codename Delta (later refined to Delta One), David Webb thrived in that Black Ops program. Delta proved ruthless and bloodthirsty, with his command of local languages and culture making him an irreplaceable asset against the Viet Cong, the North Vietnamese regulars and international mercenaries in the region. 

Operation: Medusa’s operatives served as assassins, torturers, guerillas and saboteurs, often locating POW camps and facilitating escapes. On one particular mission Jason Bourne, a treacherous Medusan from Australia, betrayed Delta and his team. In response Webb killed Bourne on the spot.   Continue reading

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