Monthly Archives: December 2019

STAR WARS: EPISODE TEN OPENING CRAWL

Balladeer’s Blog’s sources in the industry – and by the industry I mean the business – have leaked to me the wording of the opening crawl for the next Star Wars movie.

Dark Rey“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away … 

EPISODE X: SUBVERT THIS!

DEJA VU! Rey Skywalker has fallen to the Dark Side! Rechristening herself Empress Palpatine she single-handedly conquered every inhabited world in dozens of galaxies. On the second day she conquered even more!

Using heretofore unknown Force abilities, Empress Palpatine altered the fabric of reality itself to the point where no one alive even remembers a time when she was not the unquestioned ruler of thousands of planets. Continue reading

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ALL COLLEGE FOOTBALL CHAMPIONS FOR 2019

Here’s one last round of congratulations to this year’s college football champions in the SEVEN divisions covered here at Balladeer’s Blog.

Morningside MustangsNAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics)

National Champions – MORNINGSIDE COLLEGE MUSTANGS

Runners-Up – Marian University Knights

2018 Champions – Morningside College Mustangs

Concordia_MINCCAA (National Christian College Athletic Association)

My National Champions – CONCORDIA (MI) CARDINALS

Runners-Up – Ottawa University (AZ) Spirit

2018 Champions – Olivet Nazarene University Tigers 

NNAS_VAUSCAA (United States Collegiate Athletic Association)

My National Champions – NEWPORT NEWS APPRENTICE SCHOOL BUILDERS

Runners-Up – Williamson College of the Trades Mechanics

2018 Champions – Newport News Apprentice School Builders  Continue reading

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BEST OF AUGUST 2019

Balladeer’s Blog’s end-of-year retrospective continues with this look at August’s best. Enjoy your Christmas leftovers of 11 + Sauce and read:

Son of SupermindDELL SUPERHERO PANTHEON – From World War Two to the Cold War, a look at the Dell Comics pantheon of superheroes. CLICK HERE  

DAVID J HARRIS, JR – Looking at yet Another Martin Luther King Person of Courage. CLICK HERE

hammett 2HAMMETT (1982) – A review of the movie depicting Dashiell Hammett mixed-up in a murder investigation. CLICK HERE

TOP MYTHOLOGICAL PANTHEONS COVERED HERE AT BALLADEER’S BLOG – My look at the gods of the Vietnamese, Ainu, Navajo, Hawaiian, Inuit and more. CLICK HERE

FACULTY LOUNGE FASCIST ROUNDUP – The August 24th edition HERE

Ethan Van SciverETHAN VAN SCIVER: THE FUTURE KING OF ALL MEDIA? – A look at the mad genius Ethan Van Sciver and his YT shows about pop culture. This man is a MUST watch. CLICK HERE

ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY: COTHURNUS (circa 405 B.C.) – An examination of the comedy by Philonides. CLICK HERE Continue reading

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Filed under Education or Indoctrination, humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion, Superheroes

CHRISTMAS CAROL-A-THON CONCLUDES: 2nd CHANCE FOR CHRISTMAS (2019)

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Christmas Carol-A-Thon 2019, Balladeer’s Blog’s TENTH Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon, comes to a close with a review of this 2019 item.

2nd Chance For Christmas2nd CHANCE FOR CHRISTMAS (2019) – (Special thanks to Balladeer’s Blog reader Lee Ann for recommending this Carol to me.)

Directed by Christopher Ray, this is an adaptation of the Dickens classic and sets the story in the present-day. The Scrooge stand-in is a Country Western singer named Chance Love (Brittany Underwood). My fellow Carol enthusiasts will immediately be put in mind of A Diva’s Christmas Carol, reviewed previously here at Balladeer’s Blog.

2nd Chance For Christmas shrewdly stakes out its own territory so that it stands out from the Vanessa Williams flick about a pop starlet named Ebony Williams. In addition the film shrewdly used a numerical designation for the first word in the title rather than spelling out “Second” ensuring it will be listed ahead of movies whose titles begin with any letters at all.

Brittany Underwood does a very good job as Chance, the mean-spirited and selfish singing starlet who abuses everyone around her. Every step of the way Underwood is up to the demands of the storyline and manages her comedic parts well, always the toughest challenge.

In fact nearly all the comedy bits in 2nd Chance For Christmas are well-written and well-executed, so I will avoid any spoilers regarding the jokes so as not to ruin them for first-time viewers.    Continue reading

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A SESAME STREET CHRISTMAS CAROL (2006)

masc chair and bottleBalladeer’s Blog’s TENTH Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon hurls toward its finale tomorrow! Here’s a look at yet another version of the Dickens Yuletide classic. And remember, if you have any 11 + sauce to spare in this holiday season, please donate it to the Ethan Van Sciver family.  

Sesame Street Christmas CarolA SESAME STREET CHRISTMAS CAROL (2006) – This 46 minute special, which presents Oscar the Grouch as the Ebenezer Scrooge substitute, opens and closes with some very Christmassy scenes of artificial snow falling on the Sesame Street set. The apartments on that street are all decorated for the holiday so everything looks very festive.

Obviously this version of A Christmas Carol is aimed at children and pretty much only children so don’t expect the broader appeal that lies in A Muppet Christmas Carol. Still, anyone with children of their own or nieces or nephews or really young siblings can take 46 minutes to hang out with the kids while they enjoy this.

The story does not follow the actual plot of A Christmas Carol but instead uses the ghostly visits as framing devices for short sketches featuring the likes of Big Bird, Tickle-Me-Elmo, Bert & Ernie, Snuffle-upagus and Mr Hooper. This is ideal for children’s shorter attention spans while the adults can enjoy long-ago clips from when Hooper and the original voice actors for those Muppets were all still alive.

We start with Oscar the Grouch trying to barricade himself in his garbage can to avoid all that mushy Christmas cheer. He is visited by Joe Marley, a Muppet who works as a delivery man for the Scaredy-Pants Delivery Service. Marley informs the annoyed Oscar that he will be receiving three packages which contain Ghost-O-Grams.  Continue reading

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BEST OF JULY 2019

Balladeer’s Blog’s year-end retrospective continues with July’s best:

Gang of Roses 2003GANG OF ROSES (2003) – A very detailed review of the action western about a gang of four African-American women and one Asian woman shooting things up in the Ollllld West. CLICK HERE

FAQ’s ABOUT SJW’s – The title speaks for itself on this one. CLICK HERE

MOCK HEADLINES: JULY 12th – The popular comedy bit returned for this July 12th installment. CLICK HERE

pistols and cardsNEGLECTED GUNSLINGERS: RUSSIAN BILL AND FARMER PEEL – For gambler/ gunslinger “Farmer” Peel click HERE and for expatriate Russian nobleman and gunslinger Russian Bill click HERE 

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY 2019 – A light-hearted look at other July 4ths in U.S. history. CLICK HERE

Apollo 12 patchAPOLLO 11 AND AMERICA’S OTHER MOON LANDINGS – For the 50th anniversary of America’s first moon landing here’s a look at all the Apollo moon trips. CLICK HERE

TRANSGRESS WITH ME: JULY 19th – Another exploration of transgressive thinking. CLICK HERE 

Breakheart PassBREAKHEART PASS (1975) – A review of this classic Charles Bronson western for what was Frontierado Season back in July. CLICK HERE  Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Education or Indoctrination, FRONTIERADO, humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion, Spaghetti Westerns

A LUKE CAGE CHRISTMAS CAROL (1973)

Yes, it’s a Marvel Comics crossover with Balladeer’s Blog’s TENTH Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon! With all of the Marvel superheroes conquering the big and small screens here’s an action-packed Christmas Carol adaptation from the 1970s.  

luke-cage-christmas-carolJingle Bombs was the real title of this holiday tale which pitted superhero Luke Cage aka Hero for Hire aka Power Man against the one-off supervillain called Marley. Like a Guest Villain from the Adam West Batman show Marley uses a campy Christmas Carol motif for his nefarious plan … yet, oddly the story is kind of quaint.  

On Christmas Eve, Luke Cage is hanging out with his then-girlfriend Claire Temple, a nurse who worked at a clinic in the New York ghetto. Later on in the series Claire would be the center of a romantic triangle between Luke Cage and another of Marvel’s black superheroes – Black Goliath, Hank Pym’s former lab assistant who used Pym’s inventions to turn to giant-size and back. 

As night approaches Luke sees a ruckus outside the clinic: a man in Dickensian 1800s clothing is using his walking stick to beat a little handicapped boy named Timmy. Our hero goes out to save the little boy and is attacked by the strange man, who identifies himself as “Marley.”   Continue reading

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SHARYL ATTKISSON’S LIST OF 107 NEWS MEDIA MISTAKES IN COVERING TRUMP

Sharyl AttkissonIt’s no secret that Sharyl Attkisson is one of the few actual journalists left in the United States.

Her lawsuit over illegal action against her by the DOJ is ongoing but she continues to bravely follow the truth no matter where it leads her. 

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsAttkisson has been compiling a list of the most egregious errors (some might call them intentional misrepresentations) committed by “reporters” in the last few years. Again, she just covers the inaccuracies from alleged “news” sites, not the ramblings of shallow, uninformed and emotionally unstable entertainers. Her list would be much longer otherwise.

To quote Attkisson, who is considerate enough to lump herself in with her colleagues, who have lapsed into much lower standards than she herself maintains: Continue reading

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JON MALIN’S CHRISTMAS CAROL (2019)

Balladeer’s Blog continues its TENTH Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon!

Ghost of Christmas PresentJON MALIN’S CHRISTMAS CAROL (2019) – We can all have A Very Malin Christmas with this audio play version of A Christmas Carol. Internet cult figure CECIL of Cecil Says fame stars as Scrooge and, since he sounds a lot like Buddy Hackett he gives this Carol a healthy retro feel so young and old alike can enjoy it.  

Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog will remember Jon Malin from Graveyard Shift Volume Two, covered earlier this year. Rest assured this Yuletide production is very holiday-ish, lest Malin’s association with the monsters from Graveyard Shift cause raised eyebrows (except by Malin himself, of course, who is often ribbed for supposedly not having any).  

masc graveyard newProductions of A Christmas Carol are all about who plays Scrooge, naturally, and Cecil, “who is life AND who is love” as the saying goes, doesn’t disappoint. And best of all this Carol is being done for charity, raising money for some wonderful people. No, not the Malin Militia, but the good people at Saint Jude’s Children’s Hospital.

Moving on to the Carol itself:  Continue reading

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL: FINAL THREE CHAMPIONS CROWNED

NAIA

Morningside MustangsNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The defending champions – the MORNINGSIDE COLLEGE MUSTANGS – fought it out with the MARIAN UNIVERSITY KNIGHTS for the NAIA crown last night. This was a tale of two Halves, as the Mustangs led 21-7 by Halftime and threatened to run away with the game.

In the 3rd Quarter the Knights cut the Morningside lead to 33-21 and in an action-packed 4th pulled to within 33-31. From there the defending champs went up 40-31, with Marian then falling just short as MC won the game 40-38. * THE MUSTANGS ARE NAIA CHAMPIONS

NCAA DIVISION TWO

West Florida Argonauts helmetNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The UNIVERSITY OF WEST FLORIDA ARGONAUTS were not only THE story of the D2 playoffs once again but this time they sealed the deal against their opponents the MINNESOTA STATE MAVERICKS! A 14-14 1st Quarter tie turned into a 38-21 Argonauts lead by the Half.

The 3rd Quarter ended with West Florida on top 45-29 and in the 4th the Mavericks pulled closer but not close enough as UWF won it 48-40. * THE ARGONAUTS ARE NCAA DIVISION TWO CHAMPIONS *      Continue reading

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