Monthly Archives: March 2016

THE MEN OF THE MOON (1809): ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION

Washington Irving giving us his sexiest come-hither stare.

Washington Irving giving us his sexiest come-hither stare.

THE MEN OF THE MOON (1809) – Several decades before H.G. Wells would use his fictional invasion from Mars in War of the Worlds as an allegorical condemnation of colonialism the American author Washington Irving beat him to it. In Irving’s work The Men of the Moon a technologically advanced race from the moon conquered the Earth and treated its inhabitants the way that European and Muslim colonialists treated the indigenous inhabitants of the areas they subjugated.

Irving tongue-in- cheekly called his invaders from the moon “Lunatics” and depicted them as green-skinned humanoids with tails and one eye each instead of two. Their most bizarre feature is the fact that they carry their detached heads tucked under one arm with a spinal column “cord” attaching the head to the body. For refreshment the moon men drink liquid nitrous oxide.  Continue reading

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MORE COLLEGE HOOPS TOURNAMENT ACTION

*** USCAA DIVISION TWO ***

Berkeley (NJ) KnightsNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – This was pretty much a hardcourt version of jousting as the top seeded BERKELEY (NY) COLLEGE KNIGHTS faced the 2 seeds – the CENTRAL PENN COLLEGE SILVER KNIGHTS. Points were flying back and forth with Berkeley College seizing a 40-37 advantage by Halftime. The 2nd Half saw even more red-hot offense as the Knights went on to win by a final count of 107-88! Massiah Merritt’s 34 points led BC.  * THE KNIGHTS ARE USCAA DIVISION TWO NATIONAL CHAMPIONS *  

*** NAIA ***

William Woods OwlsAMERICAN MIDWEST CONFERENCE – SEMIFINALS – The AMC’s first semifinal pitted the 5 seeds – the WILLIAM WOODS UNIVERSITY OWLS – against the top seeded FREED-HARDEMAN LIONS. The Owls pulled off a 92-82 upset.    ###    And in the 2 spot the COLUMBIA (MO) COUGARS advanced to the title game at the expense of the 3rd seeded PARK UNIVERSITY PIRATES. The final tally was Cougars 86  Pirates 81.   Continue reading

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MIKE DITKA CALLS OBAMA THE WORST PRESIDENT EVER

Mike Ditka

Even at his age Iron Mike could still kick Obama’s butt … but then so could anybody.

Good old Iron Mike himself proved he still calls things like he sees them. The football legend went after Obama like he used to go after Mike Tomczak after an interception.

The Hall of Famer was doing an ESPN Radio interview when he called Obama “the worst president we’ve ever had” (no kidding) and criticized the Golfer-in- Chief’s lack of leadership skills. Ditka also referred to Little Barry as “disgusting.” Ditka knows Chicago well from his time with the Bears and Obama’s emergence from the sewer of Chicago politics was a warning about what a corrupt administration he might run. 

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PELE AND HI’IAKA: EPIC OF HAWAII PART THIRTEEN

OahuBalladeer’s Blog continues its examination of the grand and exciting Hawaiian epic about the goddesses Pele and Hi’iaka.

PART THIRTEEN 

On the Hawaiian island of Oahu near Kualoa the goddess Hi’iaka and the mortal woman Wahine were continuing their quest to reach Kauai. Amid a driving rain the women found themselves attacked by the mountain-sized monster called Mokoli’i. That was where things ended last time around. 

The creature Mokoli’i had thick, nearly impenetrable scales all over its body and a long prehensile tail. That plus the monster’s size would have made it a deadly foe at any time but the mo’o had chosen to attack just when the rain was pelting the two traveling women and was reducing visibility for them.     Continue reading

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IDITAROD: THE CEREMONIAL START IS TODAY

Balladeer’s Blog welcomes back my sister Rosemary as a guest commentator to share her enthusiasm for the upcoming Iditarod Race. She is a terrific Good Will Ambassador for the event and has gotten me and several other people into following the race each year. Today is the ceremonial start of the 2016 edition.

Ragnar

Ragnar will provide color commentary.

Balladeer’s Blog will once again offer updates on the race as it progresses, complete with each competitor’s Official Balladeer’s Blog Nickname. Rosemary’s new broadcast partner, in the tradition of Sonny and Sam, is her dog Ragnar – seen at left. 

Rosemary: Did you ever wonder what it Continue reading

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UPSETS KEY TO LAST NIGHT’S COLLEGE BASKETBALL ACTION

*** NAIA ***

USAO Drovers BIGSOONER ATHLETIC CONFERENCE – The 5th seeded UNIVERSITY OF SCIENCE AND ARTS OF OKLAHOMA DROVERS set the tone for the night with an 82-67 takedown of the 4th seeded SOUTHWESTERN CHRISTIAN EAGLES    ###    The 6 seeds – the WAYLAND BAPTIST UNIVERSITY PIONEERS – kept the upsets going with their tight 75-71 win over the 3rd seeded OKLAHOMA CITY UNIVERSITY STARS    ###    Chalk struck back as the 2nd seeded MID-AMERICA CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY EVANGELS defeated the 7th seeded SAGU LIONS 86-81    ###    And the (1) TEXAS WESLEYAN RAMS bounced the (8) JOHN BROWN UNIVERSITY GOLDEN EAGLES 70-56.   Continue reading

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ANTEIA: ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY

Hetaera 3Anteia was written by the comic poet Philyllius. This comic poet’s career seems to have spanned approximately from the 410s BCE to 390 BCE. One of his comedies won 1st prize at a Lenaea festival in the 390s and he won 1st prize at an unknown Dionysia. His fellow comedian Strattis credited him with being the first Attic Old Comic to use real torches on stage.

My favorite random line from Philyllius’ fragments: “The most important element of health is to breathe clean and unsullied air.”

THE PLAY  

ANTEIA – This comedy was an example of the sub-genre of Attic Old Comedy called Hetaera Plays. The term hetaera is often lazily translated as “prostitute” but the reality was a bit more complex. I’ve always felt that “kept woman” would be a better way to capture the concept. Hetaerae (plural) did NOT walk the streets and were not just for quickies like the lower-level prostitutes. They had their own luxurious digs with the expenses being footed by whichever wealthy man was enjoying bedroom privileges at the moment.

Hetaera 2A hetaera could move from man to man or keep one man for extended periods. What they were was openly known but the hetaerae occupied the top rung in the open “sex for pay” business in ancient Greece. Political figures could be publicly known as a hetaera’s steady man and it was not a career ender, but the man would be in for a lot of ribbing in the comedies of the time, usually as the butt of jokes pointing out how such an “ugly” man could ONLY get such a beautiful sex partner by paying her. Continue reading

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RIVER STATES CONFERENCE IS THE KIAC’s NEW NAME

River States Conference logo 2The NAIA’s Kentucky Intercollegiate Athletic Conference at last finalized their new conference name and logo. The KIAC has long included colleges and universities from Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia as well as Kentucky, so in a way this move was long overdue. However, it is a nice way of celebrating the league’s 100th anniversary this year.

The River States Conference will be the KIAC’s official new name beginning in July. The 2016-2017 sports season will see the debut of the new moniker.

Teams in the River States Conference: Continue reading

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MITT ROMNEY AND I ANNOUNCE WE’RE NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

Mitt Romney

*** *** *** *** *** *** Not even the endorsement of Senor Wences could help the pathetic Mitt Romney.

The dual announcement shocked the nation … if by shocked you mean “had absolutely no impact whatsoever on the 2016 presidential race” or “you’d need an electron microscope to measure public reaction.”

I outdid Mitt “The Mormon Mondale” Romney by also announcing that I would NOT accept an appointment to fill the vacancy on the U.S. Supreme Court, NOR will I accept an offer to become the next actor to play Indiana Jones.

Reaching my hands across the water I made it abundantly clear that I will NOT agree to be the next star of Doctor Who either. The public be damned – I have to think of myself and my loved ones.  

Anyway, since Mitt decided he wanted a slightly larger footnote in American history, I got in the mood for my Mock Campaign Slogans for him and Obama from 2012. Here they are one last time for nostalgia’s sake. 

Barack Obama: If shallow, uninformed and emotionally unstable entertainers think he’s fit to govern the nation who are YOU to question their judgement?

Barack Obama: All the ineptitude of Jimmy Carter … all the corruption of Richard Nixon.

Barack Obama: Because the problems of the 21st Century call for 1960s solutions.

Barack Obama: Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL TOURNAMENTS ROLL ON

*** NAIA ***

Coastal Georgia MarinersSOUTHERN STATES ATHLETIC CONFERENCE – OPENING ROUND – The 10th seeded COLLEGE OF COASTAL GEORGIA MARINERS got things going against the 7 seeds – the BETHEL (TN) WILDCATS. The Mariners put the Wildcats on Upset Alert by Halftime with a 39-31 lead, then held on for a 74-69 victory. Dominic Early led the Mariners with a Double-Double of 22 points and 11 rebounds.    ###    And the 8th seeded LOYOLA (New Orleans) WOLFPACK had no trouble with the 9th seeded UNIVERSITY OF MOBILE RAMS, defeating them 70-53.  Continue reading

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