Tag Archives: Barack Obama

January 21, 2013 · 12:02 am

THE FOUR MOST INCOMPETENT U.S. PRESIDENTS IN HISTORY

Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at the four most thoroughly incompetent presidents in American history. The list features two Republicans and two Democrats but naturally Liberal fanatics will accuse me of being a Conservative and Conservative fanatics will accuse me of being a Liberal. It’s all part of living in this land of partisan zealots.

Benjamin Harrison

Benjamin Harrison

4. BENJAMIN HARRISON

Party Affiliation: Republican

Background: Benjamin was the grandson of President William Henry Harrison, who was famous for dying barely a month into his term.

Presidency: Harrison lost the popular vote to incumbent Democratic President Grover Cleveland but won the Electoral College so Cleveland was out and Benjy was in. Harrison’s campaign virtually sold every possible presidential appointment in its desperate bid for the presidency, so Benjamin had almost no leeway on who he could nominate for positions from Cabinet level on down. The confirmation hearings provided ample fodder for political humor as some of the most unqualified nominees in U.S. history paraded before the Senate. 

Harrison proved to be in over his head on the Continue reading →

321 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Presidential Rap Sheets

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , ,

January 5, 2013 · 5:07 am

BALLADEER’S BLOG’S PRESIDENTIAL ACTION AND HORROR FILMS

Okay, we’ve already had a couple of movies that pit Abraham Lincoln against vampires in one flick and zombies in the other PLUS we’ve had a film involving Franklin Roosevelt in a conflict with werewolves. I’m jumping into this bizarre trend with the following seven synopses for even more movies milking this soon-to-be overdone premise:

George WashingtonGEORGE WASHINGTON BATTLES THE BERSERKERS – During the brutal winter at Valley Forge General George Washington must contend with more than just the elements and the distant British army. The Hessian troops the Redcoats have imported from the German- speaking world have unleashed a master plan to overrun the Continental Army once and for all.

Their ranks boast a dabbler in Nordic magic and he’s concocted a mushroom-heavy formula to transform all the Hessians into furious berserkers like those of the Viking age! George is having none of it of course, and plans to turn the Pennsylvania snow red with the blood of these latter-day berserkers of the ancient Germanic god Woden. All this plus a gay love affair between Washington and Alexander Hamilton just to guarantee lots of free publicity! 

John AdamsJOHN ADAMS: WITCHSLAYER – Remember the tale of young John Adams defending a 1700s Wiccan priestess when he was a lawyer? This movie would proceed from the notion that the young witch went on to involve Adams in a battle royal with an evil coven of dark witches who were giving paganism a bad name!

Using an aresenal of mystic weapons provided by the priestess he defended, John goes on to lay the thirteen witches and warlocks of the dark coven in their graves! Throw in an Continue reading →

36 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Fantastic Movie Reviews

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

December 5, 2012 · 9:45 pm

WHY AMERICAN LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES ARE EQUALLY ANNOYING

"First George W Bush and now ME! You people will reelect ANYBODY!"

“First George W Bush and now ME! You people will reelect ANYBODY!”

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that is truly nonpartisan in its criticism of the walking caricatures called Liberals and Conservatives.

Like other adults here in the U.S. my own views are a mix of “liberal” and “conservative” attitudes. That’s why the rest of us find Liberals and Conservatives (with capitalized L’s and C’s) to be so outdated and laughably partisan. Enough preamble, here’s a list of some of the reasons we despise American Liberals and American Conservatives equally:

1. Liberals think they’re fit to lecture the rest of us about “diversity”. / Conservatives think they’re fit to lecture the rest of us about “family values”. 

2. Liberals are pretentious fools who actually think they’re the country’s official “intellectuals”.  / Conservatives are nationalist fools who actually think they’re the country’s official “patriots”. 

3. Liberals mindlessly take sides against their own country no matter what the circumstances. / Conservatives mindlessly side with their own country no matter what the circumstances.

4. Liberals actually believe Continue reading →

25 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

November 8, 2012 · 10:24 pm

LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND OVERREACTING TO ELECTION RESULTS

Two fools who prove that ANYBODY can get reelected and it doesn’t prove they are competent.

Welcome back to the favorite site of Independent Voters, Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that criticizes Liberal fanatics and Conservative fanatics equally. The 2012 election is finally over and the Democratic candidate who belongs to billionaires defeated the Republican candidate who belongs to billionaires.

Part of the fun involved in the week following any election is laughing at the ENORMOUS overreaction of Liberals and Conservatives to the outcome. The winning side will claim a “mandate”, no matter how slender their lead in the popular vote, and this year it was only a few million votes. Not the least bit impressive in a country this size, is it? Especially not for a president who LOST millions of votes from 2008. The losing side will wail and gnash their teeth and pretend the outcome proves that the voters are “stupid” (pretentious Liberal asses) or “Communist” (nationalist Conservative asses).

As an Independent Voter here in the United States you get to see this all the time. In 2004 when the detestable George W Bush was reelected American Conservatives were pretending it meant he “was a great president” and that he’d been “vindicated by history.” It meant no such thing of course and the fact that little Barry “The Destroyer of The Economy” Obama got reelected also does not mean he’s been Continue reading →

395 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,

November 2, 2012 · 11:44 pm

THE TOP DEITIES IN AMERICAN LIBERAL MYTHOLOGY

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that equally criticizes Liberals and Conservatives. This post will be a hybrid of my mythology posts and my pokes at American political zealots. My list of Conservative deities will be coming next. In the meantime enjoy this irreverent look at the icons adored by the hilariously pretentious asses of American Liberalism. Naturally part of the fun comes from the fact that pompous Liberals always like to criticize figures that other people revere but fall to pieces and froth at the mouth with impotent outrage whenever figures THEY hold dear are regarded with the same critical eye. 

Not pictured – a Liberal

9. JOHN F KENNEDY  – Despite what 21st Century American Liberals think John F Kennedy was not a Liberal. His brother Ted certainly was, but JFK, as revealed in books like Conversations With Kennedy, regarded Liberals as hopelessly impractical and humored them only to the degree that he had to to ensure enough party cooperation when dealing with Congress. Even Tip O’Neil, in his autobiography Man of the House maintained that Jack Kennedy was Continue reading →

178 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

October 24, 2012 · 9:27 pm

IF BARACK OBAMA HANDLED PEARL HARBOR

“Yeah, our Ambassador and others are dead, whatever. I’ve got a fundraiser in Las Vegas to get to! Just blame it on that Youtube video and see how that plays out.”

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only Independent Voter site on the web that criticizes both Liberals and Conservatives equally. Even for a sleazy Chicago politician Barack Obama has been caught in an unending avalanche of lies from his campaign biography back in 2008 to all the outrageous untruths that have characterized his entire term in office. Last night even his usual shoeshine boy David Letterman pointed out what a liar Obama is and Jay Leno pointed out how Obama has crippled the American economy.

The weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama has told lie after lie after lie about the Benghazi affair, and this, along with his general “masochism as foreign policy” approach made me decide to run with a Balladeer’s Blog look at how this Democratic version of Richard Nixon might have handled the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941. 

(For starters Obama would have been too busy with fundraisers and tentative spin doctoring to even address the nation until sometime around January 24th, 1942. And that’s being optimistic since he still refuses to face the press – even the pro-Obama press – over his lies about Benghazi)

My fellow Americans, I speak to you today as a special guest on the Fibber McGee and Molly radio show. I am addressing you this evening about the Continue reading →

124 Comments

Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

October 10, 2012 · 12:02 am

LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND PUNDITS

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only Independent Voter site on the web that bashes Liberals and Conservatives equally. Only the most fanatical Liberals and Conservatives are still denying that every single news outlet is completely biased, either in favor of the left or the right. The political prejudices of every single “news” source are blatantly obvious and are as much fun to laugh at as bad movies are. REMEMBER: EVERY SINGLE NEWS SOURCE HERE IN THE U.S. IS JUST A LIBERAL PROPAGANDA OUTLET OR A CONSERVATIVE PROPAGANDA OUTLET. Here are four of the most laughable examples of American political pundits, two from each end of the political spectrum.

michael medved

Want to beat Michael Dukakis? Medved’s got the answers!

4. MICHAEL MEDVED – I think it was in Bedtime for Bonzo that Ronald Reagan expressed the Commandment he is best known for: “No bad movie lover shalt attack another bad movie lover.” But since I always felt as much contempt for Reagan as I feel for Barack Obama I’ll just break that commandment.

Michael Medved was coauthor of the two Golden Turkey Awards booklets and of The Hollywood Hall of Shame plus other landmark books for bad movie lovers. Medved even addressed Manos, The Hands of Fate years before it became a cult item in 1993. He was also one of the 1960’s Liberals who (rightly) grew disgusted with his generation’s irrational way of clinging to their increasingly outdated worldview and tiresome racebaiting.

Unfortunately, Medved went too far and became an actual conservative. His radio show is a bastion of hilarious right-wing gibberish and Continue reading →

34 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , ,

October 3, 2012 · 9:32 pm

MOCK DEFINITIONS OF LIBERAL AND CONSERVATIVE TERMS

“If I get reelected I want YOUR take-home pay to be reduced so drastically that you have trouble making ends meet while my cronies and I remain rich from plundering the public treasury! Sucks to be YOU losers!”

Welcome back to the favorite site of Independent Voters, Balladeer’s Blog, as always coming to you from an America where every single news outlet slants its coverage in order to pander to either Liberals or Conservatives. Tonight is this year’s first presidential debate between the usual partisan fools the Democratic and Republican Parties always inflict on the voters. Needless to say, both of them are rich and are children of privilege who have nothing in common with the rest of us. 

As a public service to the rest of us Balladeer’s Blog presents a handy guide to the political terms most frequently used by Liberal fanatics and Conservative fanatics and what those terms REALLY mean. Here they are, in no particular order: 

BARACK OBAMA – An Continue reading →

38 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , ,

October 2, 2012 · 12:04 am

MOCK CAMPAIGN SLOGANS FOR OBAMA AND ROMNEY, COURTESY OF BALLADEER’S BLOG

Two children of privilege who have nothing in common with the rest of us.

Welcome back to the favorite site of Independent Voters, Balladeer’s Blog, as always coming to you from an America stuck with the usual lame partisan fools that the Democratic and Republican Parties will go on sticking us with because of their monopolistic hold on our political system. This year the Democrats are trying to reelect the weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama while the Republicans, rising to the challenge of coming up with a candidate as laughable as Obama, went with the man I like to call “the Republican Walter Mondale” – Mitt Romney.

Since Balladeer’s Blog remains the only site on the web that trashes both Liberal fools and Conservative fools equally I feel uniquely qualified to offer up some campaign slogans for these two repulsive figures. First up I’ll deal with Obama since he’s the incumbent felon, then I’ll handle Romney.

Barack Obama: If shallow, uninformed and emotionally unstable entertainers think he’s fit to govern the nation who are YOU to question their judgement?

Barack Obama: He’ll shrink your take-home pay until you have trouble making ends meet or die trying!

Barack Obama: All the ineptitude of Jimmy Carter … all the corruption of Richard Nixon.

Barack Obama: Because the problems of the 21st Century call for 1960’s solutions.

Barack Obama: Continue reading →

55 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

September 23, 2012 · 2:09 pm

A SHOUTOUT TO THE FRENCH SATIRICAL PUBLICATION’S NEW CARTOONS RIDICULING MUHAMMAD

OBAMA: Please forgive us for having Freedom of Expression. If I get reelected I’ll have more flexibility to limit it for you. Would you like us to change our treatment of women and gay people to please you, too?

While Barack Obama has been too busy proving he can’t crawl low enough in his attempts to please the homophobic and misogynist Muslim world the French satirical publication Charlie Hebdo defiantly ran an issue with multiple irreverent cartoons featuring Muhammad, the central figure of Muslim mythology. 

This action came after the latest round of those Muslim sacraments called murdering, rioting and burning which were held to commemorate the 9-11 attacks and to allegedly protest a youtube video showing Islam the same irreverence that all other religions deal with on a daily basis – and deal with in a civilized way. The French magazine was showing the solidarity for Free Speech that all people with a backbone should be showing.

Congratulations to Charlie Hebdo and to the French government for not rounding up the “offensive” magazine (though they did try to discourage them from running the issue) and for HAVING THE FORESIGHT TO SHUT DOWN EMBASSIES IN 20 COUNTRIES to safeguard their diplomatic staffs and their families. They also have claimed they’ll have a zero tolerance policy on Muslim violence over the images of Muhammad, since the blood-soaked religion he founded perpetuates the superstitious savagery of Continue reading →

37 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , ,