IF BARACK OBAMA HANDLED PEARL HARBOR

“Yeah, our Ambassador and others are dead, whatever. I’ve got a fundraiser in Las Vegas to get to! Just blame it on that Youtube video and see how that plays out.”

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only Independent Voter site on the web that criticizes both Liberals and Conservatives equally. Even for a sleazy Chicago politician Barack Obama has been caught in an unending avalanche of lies from his campaign biography back in 2008 to all the outrageous untruths that have characterized his entire term in office. Last night even his usual shoeshine boy David Letterman pointed out what a liar Obama is and Jay Leno pointed out how Obama has crippled the American economy.

The weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama has told lie after lie after lie about the Benghazi affair, and this, along with his general “masochism as foreign policy” approach made me decide to run with a Balladeer’s Blog look at how this Democratic version of Richard Nixon might have handled the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941. 

(For starters Obama would have been too busy with fundraisers and tentative spin doctoring to even address the nation until sometime around January 24th, 1942. And that’s being optimistic since he still refuses to face the press – even the pro-Obama press – over his lies about Benghazi)

My fellow Americans, I speak to you today as a special guest on the Fibber McGee and Molly radio show. I am addressing you this evening about the recent incident in which America’s usual imperial and dictatorial behavior provoked the nation of Japan, home of Shinto, the Religion of Peace, to act in their own defense by conducting a few military exercises in the Hawaiian Islands.

Even though my political opponents sought to make cheap political capital out of this tragic misunderstanding by addressing the nation immediately I, as President of ALL Americans who donate heavily to my campaign, knew that the best course of action was to be patient and wait until all the facts were in. 

My political opponents have spread the lie that my administration tried to blame this unfortunate event on Japanese anger over the casting of non-Asians to play Asians in Hollywood movies. Even though I am on record endorsing that notion and repeatedly referencing it in a speech I gave at the League of Nations after a guest appearance on the radio series The Green Hornet, I have my propoganda – I mean, Press Secretary Candy Crowley’s – assurance that I specifically referred to the untoward business at Pearl Harbor as an act of aggression the day after it happened. Candy has come under attack by my political opponents implying she took that remark out of context to save me public embarrassment but as the President of ALL Americans who mindlessly agree with my policies Candy and I would never stoop to that, at least, not if it wasn’t in a Town Hall debate format.

With all the facts now in, I can confidently say to the American people that this foul country’s evil occupation of the Hawaiian Islands MUST come to an end if we are to peacefully coexist with the nation of Japan. I have ignored the advice of the Pentagon and have established an accelerated timetable of withdrawal from Hawaii in order to return it to its rightful place as part of the Japanese Empire, which my history instructors at college taught me it once was. I also plan to travel to Tokyo to personally apologize to the Emperor for the horrible way the United States and other western democracies have unjustly interfered with their affairs.

Such an apology will also be extended to that visionary leader Adolf Hitler, who has endorsed me for reelection even though the next election is not until 1944. The western democracies reduced his noble and peace-loving people to the state they found themselves in following World War One and we need to ask for forgiveness and assure them that our foul and wicked nation will cease from criticizing Germany’s attempts to peacefully coexist with whichever country it has most recently annexed- uh, I mean liberated – from the puppet governments imposed by the capitalist imperialists of the west.

When my administration has received permission from the sovereign nation of Japan we will begin evacuating American citizens from the Hawaiian Islands. For now the Imperial Japanese government is holding all American citizens in Hawaii in internment camps as they have done with British and other citizens in Singapore and all other places where they have raised the Japanese flag to drive out the forces of slavery represented by the United States and other western nations. 

Some in the United States have criticized this act of internment on the part of Japan but that simply reflects America’s lack of sophistication and cowboy refusal to be part of the brotherhood of nations. Internment has been a long-accepted act in Asia, Europe and elsewhere, where international sophisticates no doubt laugh at America’s lack of familiarity with such an old custom of nations at war. Even during the First World War the Muslim Turks interred resident aliens and if cultures as revered as the former Ottoman Empire embraced such actions in time of war who are we Americans, with our foul history of slavery, to look askance at the traditions of others?

I will close by saying that the future must NOT belong to those who would demean the peaceful Shinto faith or the Teutonic myths – uh, I mean Teutonic belief system – held dear by the peace loving peoples of Germany. 

(NOTE FROM BALLADEER – To avoid confusion over a side issue I do NOT condone internment. That part of this piece was just a kidding reference to the way the Barack Obamas of the world overlook heinous behavior in other nations but condemn the western democracies if they ever engaged in the same repellant acts.)

AND FOR MORE OF MY TAKES ON MINDLESS LIBERALS AND MINDLESS CONSERVATIVES CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/category/liberals-and-conservatives/

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

   

124 Comments

Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

124 responses to “IF BARACK OBAMA HANDLED PEARL HARBOR

  1. I am emailing the link to this to all my friends who are independent voters and putting it on my facebook page too! Great job! You nailed Obama to a T with this bit. Even the waiting until January of 1942 to address the nation about it! All the little bits were perfect!

  2. What I love about this blog is the way you are courageous enough to take on anybody, not just the safe targets! Obama is a joke and has been so pampered he doesn’t seem able to deal with it when people see through his lies.

  3. lmao this was so perfect! I voted for this bastard in 2008 and it was the dumbest thing I ever did!

  4. Reblogged this on The Life and Times of Nathan Badley… and commented:
    A scathing and very amusing political commentary. Enjoy…

  5. Verdie Z

    So funny! This nailed Obama perfectly but was also pretty damn funny!

  6. lol this was brilliant but I still can’t figure u out…r u a liberal or a conservative?

    • Thanks. My standard reply to that is that I’m neither a liberal or a conservative – I’m an adult. Not being snarky, it’s just that I think people need to stop thinking as if they have to be EITHER liberal OR conservative. Like most people I have some opinions that fanatics would label as liberal and some opinions that fanatics would label as conservative. I think too many people artificially force themselves to adopt a whole grocery list of liberal or conservative positions just because they have one or two positions that fall into one of those categories.

  7. Magnificent! Excellent capture of Obama and what a lying pos he is.

  8. Very funny! I enjoyed all the historical jokes u peppered in here. I don’t think most men can follow ur humor but I think it’s gr8! Obama would have behaved almost exactly like this!

  9. This made me laugh so hard! Obama really is like Richard Nixon!

  10. Very funny! People are way too easy on Obama.

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  12. Dan

    Loved this! And I’m a democrat!

  13. I love how funny this is!! Obama is a fool and an incompetent!

  14. Hey! Very awesome and funny post! Obama is the most overrated man in history!

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  19. LOL This is exactly how Obama would handle it.

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  55. U were difinitely right about Obama.

  56. Nice and not far off the mark! Obama would definitely not be up to the task.

  57. It is not my first time to visit this website, i am visiting
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  58. Wod

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  59. God help us all if Obama had been president during that war.

  60. Fred Reed

    I love Balladeer’s Blog! This guy gets it!

  61. Weston

    Obama was such a joke! This is excellent!

  62. Kayla

    Obama was such trash! You made fun of him perfectly with this.

  63. Jon Del Arroz

    Love this! Obama was the worst president in history!

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