Tag Archives: Balladeer’s Blog

EVEN MORE HILARIOUSLY WRONG PREDICTIONS FROM PSYCHICS

One of Balladeer’s Blog’s biggest hits in recent years was my look at 55 Hilariously Wrong Predictions From Psychics (click HERE ). You readers have been asking for more, so here we go with predictions for 1975-2000:

New York City underwaterMALCOLM BESSENT

*** By 1979 the United States will have a war with China.

*** New York city will be uninhabitable by 1980 because of rising water levels. People are STILL trying to sell that one. They just keep pushing the alleged time period further and further into the future.

DAVID BUBAR

*** By 1980 social drinking will virtually come to an end in America due to health consciousness.

*** By 1979 M.D.’s will ally themselves with faith healers. (Maybe as a Bowling League, but certainly in no other way)

*** By 1990 psychics will hold important government positions as intuition and clairvoyance become more important.

nuke-the-moon*** During the 1980s consumption of the chemicals in food will cause generations of freakishly tall people. Their abnormal size will weaken their bodies and personalities.

*** By the mid-1980s both America and the Soviet Union will try to colonize the moon, leading to military “police actions” on the moon itself. Continue reading →

12 Comments

Filed under humor, opinion

COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM NOVEMBER 2nd

HEADLINES

Concordia Moorhead CobbersNUMBER FOUR TAKES A FALL – In NCAA Division Three the CONCORDIA (Moorhead) COBBERS visited the number 4 team in the nation – the SAINT JOHN’S UNIVERSITY JOHNNIES. The Cobbers were on top 10-6 by Halftime but the Johnnies tied things up at 12-12 to force Overtime. In the extra session Concordia won the game 19-18 off a missed PAT by Saint John’s U.

Lindenwood LionsKNOCKING OFF NUMBER SEVEN – Up in NCAA Division Two the LINDENWOOD UNIVERSITY LIONS welcomed the country’s 7th ranked UNIVERSITY OF INDIANAPOLIS GREYHOUNDS. After a scoreless 1st Quarter the Lions put the Greyhounds on Upset Alert with a 14-10 lead at the Half. From there Lindenwood University fulfilled the Upset by a final score of 34-27. 

Union NY Dutchmen helmetAND NUMBER EIGHT CAME TUMBLING AFTER – Back in D3 the number 25 UNION (NY) DUTCHMEN took it on the road against the number 8 ITHACA COLLEGE BOMBERS. A 10-7 1st Quarter edge for the Dutchmen became 17-14 by the break. After a scoreless 3rd Quarter Union went on to a 31-21 win over the Bombers. Continue reading →

2 Comments

Filed under college football

KILLRAVEN FOURTEEN: THE REBELS OF JANUARY AND BEYOND

FOR PART ONE OF BALLADEER’S BLOG’S EXAMINATION OF THIS OLD, OLD MARVEL COMICS STORYLINE CLICK HERE  The revisions I would make are scattered throughout the synopsis below.

Killraven rebels of januaryAMAZING ADVENTURES Vol 2 #30 (May 1975)

Title: The Rebels of January and Beyond

Freemen: Killraven, M’Shulla, Old Skull, Hawk, Carmilla Frost and her creation Grok (Deathlok in my revisions)

Synopsis: This is a story that provided a wealth of additional lore for the world inhabited by Killraven and his Freemen, especially regarding Killraven’s use of The Power, a pre-Star Wars version of The Force.

It is still April, 44 years in the future. The High Overlord (in my revisions Abraxas the High Overlord), executive leader of Earth’s alien conquerors, walks the streets of occupied Washington D.C. 

He is clad as always in his full-body suit of biochemical armor, complete with a Japanese feudal helmet like the kind Darth Vader would later wear. (This was published 2 years before Star Wars came out) The High Overlord’s armor, however, is steel-grey, not black like Vader’s. The sight of one of Killraven’s WANTED posters as he walks along annoys him more than it usually might.  Continue reading →

27 Comments

Filed under Superheroes

LIVING ALONE (1919): A WITCH DURING WORLD WAR ONE

With Halloween just past and Veteran’s Day (Armistice Day) on the horizon, here’s a nice segueway – a novel featuring a witch and other supernatural figures during World War One.

Living AloneLIVING ALONE (1919) – Written by Stella Benson. This novel is like a World War One forerunner of Bedknobs and Broomsticks. In 1918, during what was then called The Great War, a London woman named Sarah Brown busies herself with War Savings Committee Work.

One day a witch named Angela invites her to move into a home called the House of Living Alone, which turns out to be a boardinghouse for practitioners of magic as well as assorted supernatural figures like faeries, imps, etc. Sarah accepts the invitation, taking her dog David Blessing with her.

This house is located on Mitten Island in the Thames River. Sarah becomes involved in the adventures of Peony, who is plagued by an Imp wanting to be born. She also meets Richard Higgins, a practicing warlock who runs – not a dairy farm – but a Faerie Farm, which is supervised by a dragon. 

At one point a German bombing raid strikes a cemetery, waking up all of the dead. They rise from their graves, convinced that it is the Final Judgment, until Sarah and her new friends set things right.

Whimsically enough, circumstances later lead the witch who runs the House of Living Alone into mounting her flying broomstick and having a magical dogfight over England with a German witch. Continue reading →

4 Comments

Filed under Halloween Season

THE MONKS OF MONK HALL (1844-1845): HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Happy Halloween! Balladeer’s Blog marks it with a neglected work of American horror.

Monks of Monk HallTHE MONKS OF MONK HALL aka THE QUAKER CITY (1844-1845) – Written by George Lippard, this strange and macabre story was originally serialized from 1844-1845 before being published in novel form. This bloody, horrific work was America’s best-selling novel before Uncle Tom’s Cabin. 

I always refer to this book as “Twin Peaks Goes to the 1840s.” On one level The Monks of Monk Hall deals with crime, corruption, drugs and sex-trafficking among many supposedly “respectable” citizens of Philadelphia the way Twin Peaks did with residents of the title town.

On another level the novel deals with supernatural horrors that lurk behind the Quaker City’s murders, vices and sexual perversions, again like the David Lynch series. The center of the darkness is Monk Hall, an old, sprawling mansion with an unsavory history and reputation. Many have disappeared into the bowels of the building, never to be seen again. The power players and criminals who mingle at the Hall in bizarre orgies, secret murders and drunken debauches are known as “Monks” – Monk Hall’s exclusive membership.

Monks of Monk Hall 4Think of Monk Hall as a combination of Twin Peaks establishments like the Black Lodge, One-Eyed Jacks and the Great Northern all rolled into one. The vast, multi-roomed Hall is honey-combed with secret passageways and trap doors. Beneath the mansion are a subterranean river plus several levels of labyrinthine catacombs filled with rats, refuse and the skeletal remains of the Monks’ many victims from the past century and a half.   

The sinister staff of Monk Hall are happy to provide their members with all the sex, opium and other diversions that they hunger for behind their public veil of respectability. Throw in the occult practices of the members and there’s a sort of “American version of Sir Francis Dashwood’s Hellfire Club” feel to it. Among the novel’s more horrific characters:

Monks of Monk Hall 2DEVIL-BUG – The deformed, depraved and deranged bastard offspring of one of Monk Hall’s members and one of the many prostitutes who are literally enslaved there. Devil-Bug has spent his entire life in the Hall and has no other name. He is squat, incredibly strong and grotesquely ugly with one large gaping eye and one small, withered, empty socket on his face.

This monstrosity works as Monk Hall’s combination door-man, bouncer and executioner, gleefully murdering on demand and secreting the corpses away in the sub-basements beneath the mansion. Just to make him even more unwholesome, Devil-Bug sleeps next to the corpse of one of his victims and uses occupied coffins as furniture in his creepy rooms.

RAVONI – Interchangeably referred to as a sorcerer, mad doctor, astrologer and anatomist, this handsome but sinister man pulls the strings behind the supernatural evils of Philadelphia and vicinity.

Monks of Monk Hall 3Master of an occult method of eternal youth, Ravoni has been alive for over two hundred years. (The novel repeatedly says just two hundred years, but the villain refers to having been present at the Saint Bartholomew’s Day Massacre, which happened in 1572, so it has to be longer)

Ravoni has powers of mesmerism, prognostication and can even raise the dead. He was the original owner of Monk Hall under another name long ago. Readers eventually learn the kind of dark rituals the man performed at the Hall but don’t learn the full extent of his evil plans until the climax of the novel.          Continue reading →

32 Comments

Filed under Halloween Season

THE WRAITH: HALLOWEEN SUPERHERO

Halloween month hurls toward its conclusion as Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at another vintage superhero ideal for the season.

Wraith rising picTHE WRAITH

Secret Identity: Gary Kennedy, dead policeman

First Appearance: Mystery Men # 27 (October 1941). His final Golden Age appearance came in 1942.

Origin: When police officer Gary Kennedy and his brother are shot to death by Silky Weaver and his subordinate gangsters, Gary dies swearing by Heaven above to avenge his and his brother’s deaths. He returns from the grave several nights later and makes good on his vow.

Afterward, the newly-christened Wraith continues to rise from his grave to deal out justice to evildoers on behalf of their dead victims, whose souls beg him to take action.

Powers: Continue reading →

8 Comments

Filed under Halloween Season, Superheroes

RAPPACCINI’S DAUGHTER (1844): HALLOWEEN STORY

Halloween Month continues with this neglected femme fatale from Nathaniel Hawthorne. FOR THE OTHER CREATURES IN THIS MONSTER RALLY CLICK HERE 

Rappaccini's Daughter 2BEATRICE RAPPACCINI

First Appearance: Rappaccini’s Daughter (1844)

Cryptid Category: Human-plant hybrid.

Lore: Beatrice Rappaccini, also called the Poison Woman, had been experimented on by her mad scientist father since infancy. Some dark rumors even held that the father – Doctor Giacomo Rappaccini – had spawned her from a seed-pod and that his tales of a wife were lies.

Beatrice was so toxic that she was the only one alive who could come into contact with the monstrous and deadly plants in her father’s courtyard garden. The Poison Woman’s beauty drove men wild, tempting many admirers to brave the dangers of her father’s mutated plant life.

The dark beauty’s flesh was a toxic poison and her breath could kill insects, snakes, rats and small children. Dead creatures made the ideal fertilizer for the creations of Beatrice’s father. It was hinted that Beatrice fed on the vermin killed by her breath, just like Venus Flytraps and other carnivorous plant-life. Continue reading →

10 Comments

Filed under Halloween Season

KILLRAVEN THIRTEEN: THE DAY THE MONUMENTS SHATTERED

FOR PART ONE OF BALLADEER’S BLOG’S EXAMINATION OF THIS OLD, OLD MARVEL COMICS STORYLINE CLICK HERE  The revisions I would make are scattered throughout the synopsis below.

Killraven day monuments shatteredAMAZING ADVENTURES Vol 2 #31 (July 1975)

Title: The Day The Monuments Shattered 

Freemen: Killraven, M’Shulla, Old Skull, Carmilla Frost, Hawk, Volcana Ash, Adam 3031 and Eve 3031 and Carmilla’s creation Grok (Deathlok in my revisions)

Synopsis: This is the 4th and final part of the Death-Birth storyline. It is April, 44 years from now. Killraven and his Freemen, a band of rebels fighting Earth’s alien conquerors, have arrived in the ruins of Gary, IN, along the southern shore of Lake Michigan.

It is nighttime and Killraven has chosen to set up camp in a cave on a nearby hill. This will give him and his Freemen the high ground and a defensible position as they await the final battle with their pursuers.

sacrificerThose pursuers: Atalon – white-shirted human quisling administrator of Death-Birth, the now-destroyed alien fortress where they raised humans like cattle since they eat human flesh – and the Sacrificer, green-clad medical madman who used to prepare those cannibal meals for the aliens, including their favorite delicacy – human infants carved out of their mother’s body shortly before they are due to deliver.

Backing up Atalon and the Sacrificer are dozens of Death Breeders, their armed troops in uniforms resembling skeleton outlines. 

Eve 3031, one of the human “breeding stock” liberated by our heroes last issue, is about to give birth, so the aforementioned cave will help shelter her and her baby as her mate, Adam 3031, attends her.

NOTE: Writer Don McGregor would later recycle this tableau of a final battle taking place around a woman giving birth in his post-apocalypse comic book Sabre. In that book the villainous Joyful Slaughter (real subtle, eh) and his troops attacked the rebel settlement where Sabre’s wife Melissa Siren was giving birth. Continue reading →

21 Comments

Filed under Superheroes

COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM OCTOBER 26th

HEADLINES

Siena Heights SaintsKNOCKING OFF NUMBER SIX – In the NAIA the 18th ranked SIENA HEIGHTS UNIVERSITY SAINTS took it on the road against the number 6 team in the nation – the UNIVERSITY OF SAINT FRANCIS (IN) COUGARS. The Saints stunned the Cougars and the prognosticators by toppling USF by a final score of 24-14.

Nichols Bison helmetMARATHON GAME OF THE DAY – This distinction goes to the clash between the NICHOLS COLLEGE BISON and their hosts the UNIVERSITY OF NEW ENGLAND NOR’EASTERS. The 4th Quarter ended in a 38-38 tie. One Overtime wasn’t enough. Two weren’t enough. Three weren’t enough. In the FOURTH OVERTIME the Bison emerged with a 51-48 triumph.

Williamson Trade HelmetUSCAA SPOTLIGHT GAME – USCAA stands for United States Collegiate Athletic Association. The WILLIAMSON COLLEGE OF THE TRADES MECHANICS took the field against the visiting NEW JERSEY WARRIORS yesterday. The Mechanics led 7-3 at the Half before going on to win the game 14-3. Continue reading →

Leave a comment

Filed under college football

PSYCHO GOTHIC LOLITA (2010)

Psycho Gothic LolitaHalloween Month continues at Balladeer’s Blog.

PSYCHO GOTHIC LOLITA (2010) – Also available under the title Gothic & Lolita Psycho, this ultra-violent and blood-soaked movie was Japanese filmmaker Go Ohara’s follow-up to Geisha Assassin from 2008.  

Rina Akiyama stars as Yuki, the black-clad title character whose fashion sense combines two Japanese fetish looks in one. The film begins with Yuki already enacting her revenge quest against a bizarre quintet of villainous supernatural figures. Disjointed flashbacks  provide background details as the story  unfolds, with the most crucial secret being withheld for last.   Continue reading →

8 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season