SCROOGE AND MARLEY (2012)

scrooge-marley-2012SCROOGE & MARLEY (2012) – MERRY CHRISTMAS! Balladeer’s Blog’s Christmas Carol-A-Thon for 2016 comes to a close with a look at this gay-oriented adaptation of the Dickens classic. It’s also a musical, but unfortunately the songs struck me as being as blah as most of Leslie Bricusse’s output in Scrooge (1970).

Previously I’ve examined Ebbie, which is a business-woman themed version of the story, John Grin’s Christmas and Christmas is Comin’ Uptown, which are black-themed versions of the story and even See Hear Presents A Christmas Carol, a sign-language and spoken version aimed at the hearing impaired. 

Scrooge & Marley is an openly and deliberately gay adaptation of the Dickens story. It often falls into the trap of using its gay narrative as a gimmick rather than a theme but that risk just goes with the territory when a creative team is locked into following a previously mapped-out storyline.  

The film is set in the fairly present day and opens up at Ebenezer Scrooge’s gay nightclub called Screws. I was hoping it would be called Screwed, to be reminiscent of the porno version of A Christmas Carol titled Ebenezer Screwed. At any rate Scrooge is, as usual, a tight-fisted (as it were) hand at the grindstone and treats his employees horribly. Hell, he even fires them if they tip delivery people out of their own pockets! Continue reading →

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A LUKE CAGE CHRISTMAS CAROL (1973)

Yes, it’s a Marvel Comics crossover with Balladeer’s Blog’s Christmas Carol-A-Thon! With all of the Marvel superheroes conquering the big and small screens here’s an action-packed Christmas Carol adaptation from the 1970s.  

luke-cage-christmas-carolJingle Bombs was the real title of this holiday tale which pitted superhero Luke Cage aka Hero for Hire aka Power Man against the one-off supervillain called Marley. Like a Guest Villain from the Adam West Batman show Marley uses a campy Christmas Carol motif for his nefarious plan … yet, oddly the story is kind of quaint.  

On Christmas Eve, Luke Cage is hanging out with his then-girlfriend Claire Temple, a nurse who worked at a clinic in the New York ghetto. Later on in the series Claire would be the center of a romantic triangle between Luke Cage and another of Marvel’s black superheroes – Black Goliath, Hank Pym’s former lab assistant who used Pym’s inventions to turn to giant-size and back. 

As night approaches Luke sees a ruckus outside the clinic: a man in Dickensian 1800s clothing is using his walking stick to beat a little handicapped boy named Timmy. Our hero goes out to save the little boy and is attacked by the strange man, who identifies himself as “Marley.”   Continue reading →

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CHRISTMAS-TIME TURKEYS WITH THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Randy Clower and Richard Malmos of The Texas 27 Film Vault (both lower right) featured in a Movie Host article with Stella from Saturday Night Dead and Elvira.

Randy Clower and Richard Malmos of The Texas 27 Film Vault (both lower right) featured in a Movie Host article with Stella from Saturday Night Dead and Elvira.

Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog know The Texas 27 Film Vault was a great pre-MST3K bad movie show from the mid-1980’s. The hosts Randy Clower and Richard Malmos (also the co-creators of the program) were members of the fictional quasi-military outfit called the Film Vault Corps – “the few, the proud, the sarcastic”. Ken Miller, who played the gung-ho Kilgore-esque Tex on the show was also a co-creator. Tragically Miller commited suicide in 1988.   

The Texas 27 Film Vault aired for 2 and 1/2 hours every Saturday night from 10:30pm to 1:00 am with Randy, Richard, Tex, Joe The Hypnotic Eye Riley and Laurie Savino the Mystery Clip Technician showing and mocking episodes of old Republic and Columbia serials before showing and mocking the night’s bad or campy movie.

Texas and Oklahoma loved this cult show and it’s rare for Longhorns and Sooners to agree on anything! Here’s a look at the Christmas and New Year’s themed episodes of The Texas 27 Film Vault! 

To All A Good nightTO ALL A GOOD NIGHT (1980)

Original Broadcast Date: December 28th, 1985

Serial: Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe (1940) 

Host Segments: A look at Christmas-themed horror films. 

Movie: To All a Good Night features Jennifer Runyon AND Harry Reems of all people. A slasher in a Santa Claus costume kills several co-eds as well as the inept cops who come to protect them. High body count but many of the killings are lit too poorly to see clearly plus one character goes nuts and literally just does a ballet dance for the final 15 or so minutes of the movie. Alex Rebar of The Incredible Melting Man fame wrote the screenplay and The Last House on the Left‘s David Hess directed.  

Continue reading →

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“FELLOW LIBERALS, I’M TIRED OF YOU” SAYS ANOTHER DISGUSTED ADULT

Mascot with demo and repub heads

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

I will say again that I will never be a Conservative but I regret having EVER considered myself an American Liberal. Call me a Socialist if you want, or an Anarchist, but don’t associate me with the psychotic stooges called American Liberals.

Here is ANOTHER former Liberal like me expressing their disgust with what clueless, uninformed Americans have fundamentally transformed Liberalism into. The link to the whole item is below, but here are some excerpts from her piece:  

” … I want to share with you, from the liberal bastion of Northern California, that I am officially tired of the type of people who have surrounded me my entire life. In the wake of Trump’s election, I am experiencing ‘tribe fatigue.’ I’m not tired of The Other, Detestable Tribe. I’m tired of my own.

“I was raised a secular liberal. My college professors were secular liberals. During my journalism phase, my newspaper colleagues were secular liberals. My law school professors and peers were – in the vast majority – secular liberals. Almost everyone at my corporate law firm was a secular liberal. My California neighbors and friends are secular liberals, as are my colleagues. My mother, siblings, and their spouses are all secular liberals.

crying-hillary-supporters“By all rights, I should be a member in good standing of their tribe, ‘liking’ their Facebook posts and joining their candlelight vigils against the evil Trump Administration. But November 8 and its aftermath revealed to me that I am just so tired of these people. I can’t be like them, and I don’t want my kids turning into them.

“I am tired of their undisguised contempt for tens of millions of Americans, with no effort to temper their response to the election with humility or empathy.

“I am tired of their unexamined snobbery and condescension.

“I am tired of their name-calling and virtue-signaling as signs of supposedly high intelligence. 

“I am tired of their trendiness, jumping on every left-liberal bandwagon that comes along (transgender activism, anyone?) and then acting like anyone not on board is an idiot/hater. 

“I am tired of watching them raise clueless kids who go off to college and within months are convinced they live in a rapey, racist patriarchy; ‘Make America Great Again’ is hate speech; and Black Lives Matter agitators are their brothers-in-arms against White Privilege. If my kids are like that at nineteen, I’ll feel I’ve seriously failed them as a parent.  

“I am tired of being bored and exasperated by everybody. I feel like I have read this book a thousand times, and there are no surprises in it. Down with Trump! Trans Lives Matter! Climate deniers are destroying the planet! No cake, we’re gluten-free!” Continue reading →

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL CHAMPIONS FOR 2016

Here’s one last round of congratulations to this year’s college football champions in the SEVEN divisions covered here at Balladeer’s Blog.

St Francis (IN)NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics)

National Champions – UNIVERSITY OF SAINT FRANCIS COUGARS  

Runners-Up – Baker University Wildcats

2015 Champions – Marian University Knights

Warner Memorial U Royals helmetNCCAA (National Christian College Athletic Association)

My National Champions – WARNER UNIVERSITY ROYALS

Runners-Up – University of Northwestern (MN) Eagles

2015 Champions – Southwestern Assemblies of God University Lions Continue reading →

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HILLARY CLINTON GETS HUMILIATED BY TRUMP AGAIN!

hillary-clinton-crying

Hillary Clinton: President of California

Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog know how much I despise both the Democrats AND the Republicans. If you doubt me check out some of my takes on U.S. Presidents HERE

Here’s an appropriate footnote to the 2016 election. Hillary “Bugsy” Clinton and her totalitarian supporters took the unprecedented step of trying to threaten and intimidate the members of the Electoral College into ignoring the REAL election results and overturn the outcome by not casting their State’s votes for Donald Trump.

Once again a boulder that Hillary was trying to drop on Trump wound up squishing HER instead! First she lost the REAL election, then LOST VOTES in the recounts she demanded by way of her sock puppet Jill Stein. Then, after the one percenter actors and singers who support Hillary went all out to deny Trump all of his fairly won Electoral Votes it turned out that MORE ELECTORS DEFECTED FROM HILLARY THAN FROM TRUMP!!

Hillary tired BIGHILARIOUS! An Elector from Hawaii changed his vote from Hillary, making a total of FIVE faithless Electors for that career criminal! Rubbing salt in the wound is the fact that this meant HILLARY LOST THE MOST ELECTORS IN ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR YEARS! And in 1912 it was a VICE PRESIDENTIAL candidate who lost them, not the Presidential candidate!

And – funniest of all – he only lost them because he had DIED between the election and the meeting of the Electoral College!

So, Hillary’s candidacy was as “historic” as she and her fascist mob wanted, but in all the WRONG ways! In this cold, violent and cruelly unfair world it is rare to see a public villain get the comeuppance they deserve but happily for us all the loathsome Hillary has been defeated over and over again this year!  Continue reading →

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JOHN GRIN’S CHRISTMAS (1986)

john-grins-christmas

Wealthy John Grin and the Ghost of Christmas Future

JOHN GRIN’S CHRISTMAS (1986) – The 2016 edition of Balladeer’s Blog’s Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon continues with this obscure item from the 1980s. My copy of John Grin’s Christmas was already barely watchable when I first tracked it down and it looks worse and worse each time I watch it. Still no DVD release, though, so I’ve decided to give up hoping for a clearer copy and will just review it as is.

Regular readers are familiar with the obsessive lengths I go to in order to track down the various out-of-the-way adaptations of A Christmas Carol. I’m afraid this time around the story is kind of dull – I bought John Grin’s Christmas from someone on E-Bay a few years back. They had taped it off television in 1986 and were selling that very faded and gargly-sounding VHS tape.

Renaissance Man Robert Guillaume directed and stars as the Ebenezer Scrooge stand-in John Grin, our title craftsman who makes a variety of collectibles. Many sources claim he only makes toys but that is not true, it’s just that as Christmas approaches most of his sales are toys. And, since the story is set around Christmas time … Continue reading →

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SHORT FILMS FOR THE SHORTEST DAY OF THE YEAR

Yes, it’s December 21st once again! This time around Balladeer’s Blog presents a look at assorted short films to go with today’s “shortness” theme.

The United Fund

The United Fund

THE MEANEST MAN IN THE WORLD (1954) – This heavy-handed United Fund short was probably effective in its day. Back then people may have felt they were being too callous by openly laughing at the antics in this public service message.

Our central character, “Jim”, comes home late at night after a marathon work day. He startles his wife, who, in typical 50s fashion sleeps in a separate bed. In fact he startles her SO much you get the impression she had a man on the side who may have left her bed a little too close to Jim’s homecoming for comfort.

Jim’s got even bigger problems, though. Money is tight, so tight that Jim tells his still-paniced wife that this year they won’t be able to afford their usual contribution to the United Fund. Our hero then falls asleep, while the disgusted narrator of this ham-fisted production sneers at his alleged callousness.

Now the real fun begins. This joyously tasteless  production tries to equate being unable to afford a United Fund contribution to monumental acts of deliberate cruelty. Jim’s dream counterpart stalks up to a hospital and viciously KICKS THE CRUTCHES out from under a poor crippled boy, then STANDS THERE LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY while looking down at Continue reading →

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DEMOCRAT CLUELESSNESS CALLED OUT BY THE NEW YORK TIMES’ JEREMY PETERS

jeremy-peters-of-the-new-york-timesBalladeer’s Blog presents another figure pointing out what pompous and close-minded asses that American Liberals have become. I throw these in sometimes as a nod to the fact that more and more people have noticed this regression.

This time around the figure is Jeremy Peters from the Democrats’ New York Times – Motto: “All the news that one percenter Carlos Slim wants you to know about and ONLY the news that one percenter Carlos Slim wants you to know about.” Adding insult to injury is the fact that Peters made his remarks on the Democrats’ MSNBC during Morning Joe.  

Peters (rather inelegantly) stated that “Democrats have an utter incapability for self-examination. It’s the Russians’ fault. It’s Comey’s fault. … It’s Obama’s fault. It’s fake news’ fault … but what all of this allows them and the Democratic Party to do is to avoid the tough questions about why they lost, and how they alienated such a large block of voters that they needed to win …” Continue reading →

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL RANKINGS: BALLADEER’S BLOG

ius_logoNAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) Division Two – 1. INDIANA UNIVERSITY SOUTHEAST GRENADIERS   ###    2. CORNERSTONE UNIVERSITY GOLDEN EAGLES    ###    3. WARNER UNIVERSITY ROYALS    ###    4. INDIANA WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY WILDCATS (Defending Champions)    ###    5. UNION (KY) BULLDOGS    ###    

Northwest Christian University Beacons6. NORTHWEST CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY BEACONS    ###    7. INDIANA UNIVERSITY EAST RED WOLVES    ###    8. BETHEL (IN) PILOTS (Riverboat Pilots)    ###    9. SAINT THOMAS UNIVERSITY BOBCATS    ###    10. COLLEGE OF IDAHO COYOTES    ###  Continue reading →

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