AGAINST THE DARK (2009) STEVEN SEAGAL FIGHTS ZOMBIES?

AGAINST THE DARK (2009) – As Halloween night creeps ever closer, let’s take a look at the most atypical movie from Steven Seagal’s Down Years. Say what you will, but Against the Dark at least stands out among the Waddlin’ Warrior’s many direct to video turkeys during his Fat Elvis phase. 

Rather than just pit Seagal against interchangeable gangsters or terrorists, this flick throws him up against unliving flesh-eaters and blood-drinkers after a disease has killed off or mutated all but a few hundred million people in the world. So, it’s still a very derivative story, just not one from Steven’s usual genre.

Viewers are thrown right into the post-apocalypse setting. A disease has heavily reduced the global population. Many are dead but many more live on as violent predators who feed on the living.

Supposedly, the humanoid creatures in Against the Dark were unambiguously zombies, but co-producer Seagal apparently felt vampires were classier opponents, hence the characters calling them vampires. They also refer to the infected as “mutants” at times. Continue reading

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BALLADEER’S BLOG’S COLLEGE FOOTBALL RANKINGS: OCT 28th

My Top 5 teams in each of the six divisions of college football covered here.

NAIA

### 1. GRAND VIEW UNIVERSITY VIKINGS   ###   2. BENEDICTINE COLLEGE RAVENS   ###   3. KEISER UNIVERSITY SEAHAWKS   ###   4. MONTANA TECH OREDIGGERS   ###   5. DORDT UNIVERSITY DEFENDERS   ###   

NCAA DIVISION TWO

### 1. HARDING UNIVERSITY BISON   ###   2. FERRIS STATE BULLDOGS   ###   3. UNIVERSITY OF WEST FLORIDA ARGONAUTS   ###   4. PITTSBURG (KS) STATE GORILLAS   ###   5. KUTZTOWN STATE GOLDEN BEARS   ###    Continue reading

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THE PHANTASM FILMS (1979-2016) ONE OF MY FAVORITE HORROR FRANCHISES

Halloween is almost here, so just a few more days to squeeze in some seasonal posts.

PHANTASM – Don Coscarelli wrote and directed four of the five films in the Phantasm franchise but let David Hartman write and direct the last one in 2016.

The first Phantasm movie back in 1979 was rated X for violence, which makes me and my fellow fans of the Terrifier features and short films laugh our asses off. 

With this movie franchise Don Coscarelli forever changed the way we look at funeral homes. And funeral home directors. Actor Angus Scrimm (1926-2016) owned the role of the sinister mortician the Tall Man as surely as Robert Englund owns the role of Freddy Krueger. 

For newbies to the Phantasm films, let me point out that the Tall Man ran the Morningside Cemetery and Funeral Home business. Some of the loved ones of dearly departed people who became mutated slaves for the Tall Man began to notice strange things about the mortician. Things like carrying a full coffin by himself when he thought nobody was watching.  Continue reading

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NEWS ROUNDUP: OCTOBER TWENTY-SEVENTH

It’s a Monday current events roundup from Independent Voter Site Balladeer’s Blog coming to you from an America where Democrats have made it very clear that they will now never stop upping the crazy anytime a president not from their political party is in the White House.

        Too many Republicans still seem to delude themselves into thinking that Democrats will calm down and won’t just keep pushing outrageous lies against anyone with an (R) after their name AND anyone who questions their frothing-at-the-mouth talking points. No matter what any of us think about the opposition party, 2025 Democrats are just plain nuts and have no contact with reality. Largely because they religiously shut out any information that is not Party Approved.

PRESIDENT TRUMP SIGNS THE PEACE ACCORDS BETWEEN CAMBODIA AND THAILAND PLUS SIGNS MULTIPLE TRADE DEALS WITH OTHER NATIONS IN THE REGION. If only we could “make politics boring again” and discuss such things rationally, but the slobbering psychopaths called Democrats will obviously never let such discussions ever happen again.

BLOODTHIRSTY DEMOCRAT MOBS IN CHICAGO CONTINUE WARRING ON ICE. Apparently, they feel enforcing the law is “mean ‘n’ stuff, dude” but violence against law enforcement is just fine.

SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS RETURNS TO HIS REASONABLE BORDER VIEWS IN INTERVIEW ON OCTOBER 22nd – HE STATED “IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY BORDERS, YOU DON’T HAVE A NATION.” “[Donald] Trump did a better job. I don’t like Trump, but we should have a secure border,” he said on October 22. “It ain’t that hard to do. [Joe] Biden didn’t do it.” More HERE

COUNTY IN DEMOCRAT-RUN SEATTLE EXPOSED FOR EMPLOYING NEARLY THREE DOZEN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS AS CORRECTIONS OFFICERS. The county officials vow to fight even the state ban on hiring illegals for such positions. So, look for even more Democrat violence on behalf of illegal immigrants.

MEXICAN CARTELS OFFERING UP TO FIFTY-THOUSAND DOLLAR BOUNTIES ON U.S. IMMIGRATION ENFORCEMENT PERSONNEL VIA THE PRIVILEGED WHITE TERRORISTS OF ANTIFA.

LATEST OBAMACARE AND STUDENT LOANS SCANDAL: BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WERE PAID TO NONEXISTENT STUDENTS AND PATIENTS. Billions with a B. Obama and Biden were a scam artist’s dream. A reasonable person might wonder how much they personally benefited from all this.

DEMOCRAT MEDIA OUTLET MSNBC BASELESSLY STATES PRESIDENT TRUMP IS PLOTTING TO DEPLOY ARMY OF ASSASSINS TO KILL WHOEVER HE PLEASES. Remember the days when Democrats weren’t insane liars?

AND YET ANOTHER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL “TEACHER” ARRESTED FOR SEX CRIMES WITH A STUDENT. Democrats, can you please leave children alone?  RELATED: NEBRASKA “TEACHER” ARRESTED FOR SEX-TRAFFICKING OF A MINOR. No, it’s not the same case. Continue reading

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MOVIE HOSTESS STELLA FROM SATURDAY NIGHT DEAD (1984-1990)

This beautiful redhead is Stella, aka the Maneater from Manayunk (a section of Philadelphia), as portrayed by the talented Karen Scioli. There are plenty of color photos of Stella out there, but I think this b&w pic best captures her spirit. Karen Scioli wrote most of her material herself, in the style of Rich Koz and was a stand-up comic before becoming a movie hostess.

People who like my bad movie reviews tend to like practicioners of the American folk-art of movie hosting and Karen Scioli was one of the best. And with all due respect to Elvira, as a lifelong breast man I believe Stella was the REAL “hostess with the mostest”. Continue reading

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BALLADEER’S BLOG COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS: OCTOBER 26th

HEADLINES

KNOCKING OFF NUMBER SIX – In the NAIA, the CUMBERLAND UNIVERSITY PHOENIX welcomed the number 6 team in the nation – the CAMPBELLSVILLE UNIVERSITY TIGERS. The Phoenix led 3-0 in the 1st Quarter but trailed 10-6 by Halftime. The 4th Quarter started with the Tigers up 27-12 and ended in a magnificent 35-33 comeback win for Cumberland U.

NUMBER EIGHT TAKES A FALL – Over in NCAA Division Two, the WAYNE STATE WILDCATS took the field against the visiting 8th ranked MINNESOTA STATE MAVERICKS. The Wildcats put their opponents on Upset Alert at the Half with their 19-7 advantage, then outscored them 16-13 after the break to win the game 35-20.

AND ANOTHER NUMBER EIGHT COMES TUMBLING AFTER – Down in NCAA Division Three, the 9th ranked UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN AT WHITEWATER WARHAWKS played host to the number 8 UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN AT PLATTEVILLE PIONEERS. The Warhawks led 14-3 at the midpoint, trailed 19-14 to end the 3rd Quarter, then won 29-19 in the 4th. Continue reading

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FLASHBACK: ROLLING STONE EDITOR BLASTS THE DEMOCRATS’ “PERMANENT COUP ATTEMPT” AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP

FROM OCTOBER 17th, 2019 – 

democrat republican awakeEven if you hate Donald Trump I have no idea how you can possibly think he is worse than the corrupt white-collar criminals arrayed against him.

Given that various Marches for Trump are taking place today across the nation, here are excerpts from Rolling Stone Contributing Editor Matt Taibbi’s perceptive analysis of the ugliness of the Democrats’ slow-motion coup against President Trump … AND WITH JUST OVER A YEAR BEFORE THE ELECTION WHEN THEY COULD VOTE HIM OUT WITHOUT DIVIDING THE NATION.

Link is below. First the excerpts:

“Taibbi’s article comes after he criticized corporate media’s framing of the Deep Stater as a non-partisan “whistleblower,” despite being a registered Democrat who worked with former Vice President Joe Biden in the White House.”

March for TrumpTaibbi also stated “My discomfort in the last few years, first with Russiagate and now with Ukrainegate and impeachment, stems from the belief that the people pushing hardest for Trump’s early removal are more dangerous than Trump. Many Americans don’t see this because they’re not used to waking up in a country where you’re not sure who the president will be by nightfall. They don’t understand that this predicament is worse than having a bad president.”

“The Trump presidency is the first to reveal a full-blown schism between the intelligence community and the White House. Senior figures in the CIA, NSA, FBI and other agencies made an open break from their would-be boss before Trump’s inauguration, commencing a public war of leaks that has not stopped.”

“I don’t believe most Americans have thought through what a successful campaign to oust Donald Trump would look like. Most casual news consumers can only think of it in terms of Mike Pence becoming president. The real problem would be the precedent of a de facto intelligence community veto over elections, using the lunatic spookworld brand of politics that has dominated the last three years of anti-Trump agitation.” Continue reading

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FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER: MARVEL STYLE

This weekend’s escapist, light-hearted superhero post here at Balladeer’s Blog looks at the way Marvel incorporated the Frankenstein Monster into their 1970s horror comics.

MONSTER OF FRANKENSTEIN Vol 1 #1 (Jan 1973)

Title: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

Villains: Mutineers

Synopsis: This loose adaptation of the Mary Shelley classic starts out in January of 1898. Readers meet Captain Robert Walton IV, descendant of the Captain Walton who encountered Dr. Victor Frankenstein in the frozen north roughly one hundred years earlier.

This Robert Walton has been searching for any sign of the remains of the Frankenstein Monster sighted by his ancestor. He and his crew at last find the being and carve out the huge ice chunk in which its body is held.   

That chunk is brought on board Walton’s vessel and stored in the hold. While the captain relates to a crew member the tale told to his ancestor about the monster’s creation and history, the rest of the crew plot a mutiny over being kept in the frozen north for so long just to recover a monstrous corpse.

Captain Walton is only partway through his tale about Dr. Frankenstein and his monster when the mutiny erupts and in the fighting a fire starts. The fire starts to melt the ice encasing the Frankenstein Monster. Continue reading

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THE WORST MICHAEL MYERS STYLE SLASHERS FROM BAD MOVIES

masc graveyard newCan you believe it’s just one week until Halloween!

In a nod to So Bad They’re Good slasher films Balladeer’s Blog has examined some of the worst Michael Myers imitators as well as a few forerunners. FOR 13 HEAVY METAL HORROR MOVIES CLICK HERE.

horror-house-on-highway-5BARTHOLOMEW

Movie: Horror House on Highway Five (1985)

Lore: Bartholomew wore a Richard Nixon mask while slicing and dicing his victims. He was a simple-minded man transformed into an unstoppable killer by a Nazi mad scientist … A Nazi mad scientist who, strangely enough, wore a yarmulke. With a swastika on it. (?)

FOR MY FULL-LENGTH REVIEW CLICK HERE

Mr RabbeyMISTER RABBEY

Movie: The Psychopath (1975)

Lore: Mister Rabbey was a child-minded nutcase who hosted a Mister Rogers-type kiddie show. When he discovers that some of the children he visits at the local hospital have been abused by their parents he sets out to kill those abusers. He kills by strangling one victim with his security blanket but also uses weapons like a baseball bat, garden shears and a lawnmower in his deadly crusade.

FOR MY FULL-LENGTH REVIEW CLICK HERE Continue reading

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OCTOBER TWENTY-FOURTH NEWS ROUNDUP

Independent Voter Site Balladeer’s Blog does another current events roundup from an America where Democrats are so low they are now pretending renovations to the White House are “destruction” when President Trump does them. A historical timeline of White House renovations HERE.

EVEN TRUMP-HATER MARK CUBAN HAS SEEN THE LIGHT AND WANTS TO JOIN PRESIDENT TRUMP’S PRESCRIPTION PRICE HELP FOR AMERICANS. Have I mentioned lately that Trump is the greatest president for the working class and the poor during my lifetime?

INDIA AND CHINA CURB RUSSIAN OIL PURCHASES AFTER PRESIDENT TRUMP SANCTIONS ROSNEFT AND LUKOIL. More pressure on deranged war criminal Putin.

DEMOCRATS, WHO CALL EVERYONE ELSE NAZIS, ARE DEFENDING THEIR CANDIDATE GRAHAM PLATNER’S NAZI SS TATTOO. More HERE. And HERE. 2025 Democrats are such hypocritical garbage.

CALIFORNIA DEMOCRATS LAUNCHING HUGE DOXING ATTACKS ON ICE AGENTS AND THEIR FAMILIES. As we’ve seen, the Democrats’ violent hate mobs will take it from there.

UNHINGED DEMOCRAT HAKIM JEFFRIES THREATENS DONORS FOR THE WHITE HOUSE BALLROOM

TRUMP EFFECT: WALMART THANKSGIVING MEAL BASKET AT LOWEST PRICE IN YEARS. Have I mentioned lately that Trump is the greatest president for the working class and the poor during my lifetime?

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT CHILD RAPIST IS THE LATEST ILLEGAL EXPOSED FOR RECEIVING MEDICAID BENEFITS. Hey, he epitomizes the people the Democrats shut down the government for. Continue reading

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