CHARLEMAGNE: BRADAMANTE MEETS RUGGIERO

These are the legends about Charlemagne and his Paladins, not the actual history, so there will be dragons, monsters and magic. 

FOR MY FIRST CHAPTER ON CHARLEMAGNE’S PALADINS CLICK HERE.

bradamante another picBRADAMANTE MEETS RUGGIERO – 

NOTE: This installment brings back Bradamante, the female Paladin in white armor, as well as the cunning dwarf Brunello. Those two characters are from tales that go back over a thousand years, they are NOT ripoffs of the female knight and the Dinklage guy from GOT. If anything they helped inspire Martin’s characters.

We back up in time a bit as this chapter begins during the time when Roland was on his quest to free Morgana’s prisoners in her castle on the lake. Marsilius, king of the Muslim colonialists who occupied most of Spain, led his forces in a new campaign against the Emperor Charlemagne. Rodomont, the Muslim king of what is now Algeria, launched an amphibious assault on the south of Charlemagne’s empire, and Agramant, the Muslim king of what is now Libya and Tunisia, likewise sailed with his legions to join his coreligionists.

While those invasions were still in the planning stages, the Garamantean Prophet made his final prophecy before dying. He advised his fellow Muslims that in order to prevail against Charlemagne and his Paladins this time they must recruit the legendary warrior Ruggiero. Continue reading

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JANUARY 6th-A-PALOOZA

biden riots in dc

BIDEN CALLED THESE RIOTS MOSTLY PEACEFUL PROTESTS

I know today is only the 5th but the overwrought propaganda of the Democrats this week has had me laughing VERY hard. They theatrically pretend that the mass trespassing incident of January 6th, 2021 was “worse than the Civil War and the 9-11 attacks.” What disingenuous garbage.

Their monumental and hilarious political hypocrisy has been on full display in Washington DC this week as Democrats engage in political theater while pretending to revere the Capitol Building and its “symbolism.” (LMAO) Before I became an Independent Voter I spent most of my life as a Democrat and believe me, they feel contempt for the Capitol and its “symbolism”, even calling it one of the “institutions of imperialist rule” and “the seat of White Supremacy and systemic racism in America.”

Democrats also despise people who DO revere the Capitol and its symbolism, dismissing them as simple-minded patriotic rednecks.

Nancy Pelosi demagogueLast January a “mostly peaceful protest” (as Democrats described the MONTHS-LONG Antifa riots which terrorized the country) at the Capitol turned into a chaotic mass-trespassing incident with the Democrats of the Capitol Police even killing an unarmed woman. Suddenly, Democrat pretensions that they revered the Capitol poured from the mouths of the demagogues of the Democrat Party.

Hey, let’s rename it “the Demagogue Party”. After all, the Democrat Party is the country’s oldest existing institution which launched a Civil War and fought for slavery, so a name change for that political party is LONG overdue. Okay, so they won’t rename themselves the Demagogue Party, but they should rename it something to distance themselves from the Democrat Party’s horrifically racist past.

capitol bombing 1983Anyway, Democrats felt that their OWN storming of the Capitol was fine back on October 4th, 2018, even though THEY WERE INTERFERING WITH ONE OF THOSE GOVERNMENT FUNCTIONS WHICH THEY NOW PRETEND SHOULD BE SACROSANCT. Democrats/ the left cheered on that activity. And let’s not forget the way the left literally set off a BOMB in the Capitol on November 7th, 1983. Also HERE. A million dollars (by 1983 standards, so much more today) in damage was done.

Most adults are above the fake tears and the fear-mongering which truly pathetic Democrat members of Congress are indulging in regarding January 6th. The Democrats will probably never lose their competitive edge in phoniness and manufactured emotion, so non-Democrats – as in Independents, Third Party Voters, Republicans and People Who Claim No Political Affiliation, in other words THE REST OF US – will always need to remain highly skeptical of any and all political theater from them. 

Kenosha democrat riotIn May 2020 when the White House was violently attacked for about 24 hours and many secret service agents were seriously injured, Biden and other Democrats said Trump “used tear gas against peaceful protestors” even though it’s been proven that he DIDN’T use tear gas on those “peaceful protestors.” Listen to those Democrat hypocrites today and the draconian measures they now recommend against civil disobedience!
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The night of May 31st, 2020 rioters set fires all over the capital of the United States. A mob of them gathered outside the White House and threatened to storm it. The president was said to have been moved to a bunker. Many Democrats laughed at him and supported the mob. Never mind that the safety of the president, as a symbol of America and self-governance, goes beyond individual or party and should never be a laughing matter, like Democrats are now sniveling about the Capitol.
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Who knows? Some day the January 6th protestors may be looked on as the victims of governmental authoritarianism, like the Bonus Marchers of long ago. Nobody knows how events will be viewed decades and centuries from now, no matter how much Democrats pretend that they do.
biden riots pic 

Anti-Trump fascists have sunk lower than ever over the past year. In 2020 we had MONTHS of Democrat mobs rioting and starting fires and causing literally BILLIONS of dollars of damage and the loss of lives while the media and Democrat political figures cheered them on. Biden’s organization as well as several celebrities even PAID BAIL to get their fascist rioters back out on the streets for more mayhem. (Kamala Harris and 13 Biden staffers even donated money to a bail fund for rioters in Minneapolis and encouraged other people to do so, ballooning the fund up into the millions.)

Stop Democrat Violence

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FIREPOWER (1979) SOPHIA LOREN, JAMES COBURN AND ELI WALLACH

firepowerFIREPOWER (1979) – Sophia Loren, James Coburn, Tony Franciosa, Billy Barty and O.J. “Alec Baldwin Times Two” Simpson star in this late 70s combination of an espionage tale and a caper flick. Throw in Eli Wallach, Jake LaMotta and Victor Mature and you’ve got what may sound like the cast of a disaster movie but actually Firepower is a very good film from Lew Grade.

Sophia Loren, looking fantastic but a bit too thin, stars as Adele Tasca, widow of Dr Ivo Tasca, who was killed by the underlings of international tycoon and fugitive Karl Stegner. In a nod to the times, Stegner is a composite of the likes of Robert Vesco with sprinklings of Aristotle Onassis, Howard Hughes and Stavros Niarchos. For a modern version of a bloated rich pig figure wanted in certain countries and reviled around the world think of George Soros. 

At any rate, Adele’s husband was bumped off because he was about to deliver evidence and testimony against the reclusive Karl Stegner tying him to untold numbers of deaths from tainted pharmaceuticals. Continue reading

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22 NEWS ITEMS FOR EARLY 2022

biden wants fearTOP GOVERNMENTAL ETHICS VIOLATORS IN 2021 LISTED.

BIDEN CALLED OUT AS THE “WORST PRESIDENT FOR HUMAN RIGHTS.” 

DUCK DUCK GO, RIVAL TO GOOGLE, GREW 46% IN 2021. And no wonder.

PENNSYLVANIA DEMOCRAT COMMISIONER CHARGED WITH RAPING FIFTEEN YEAR OLD BOY.

CONSTITUTIONAL EXPERT CALLS OUT THE BIDEN REGIME’S USE OF THE FBI AS A POLITICAL TOOL.

DEMOCRAT TEACHERS AND ADMINISTRATORS MOVING TO ELIMINATE GRADES IN THE NAME OF “EQUITY.” Getting rid of grades will also cover up how thoroughly American schools fail at teaching.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, DEMOCRAT TEACHERS UNION LETTER RIDDLED WITH FUNDAMENTAL ERRORS. And these are the alleged “educators?”. Continue reading

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CHARLEMAGNE: ROLAND VS MORGANA

CharlemagneAs regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog know, December through Twelfth Night (January 6th) is the time of year in which I look at versions of the tales of Charlemagne and his Paladins. These are the legends about Charlemagne, not the actual history, so there will be dragons, monsters and magic. 

FOR MY FIRST CHAPTER ON CHARLEMAGNE’S PALADINS CLICK HERE.

Charlemagne's empireROLAND VS MORGANA – We pick up where we left off, with the Paladin Roland, nephew of Emperor Charlemagne, having captured the sorceress Falerin. She informed Roland that she was merely a subordinate to Morgana, the Lady of the Lake, and it was Morgana who really imprisoned the many warriors that Princess Angelica wanted Roland to set free.

To save her own life, Falerina had told the Paladin everything he needed to do to reach Morgana in her castle in the middle of the lake. To prevent the treacherous Falerina from having a change of heart and warning Morgana, Roland tied her to a beech tree, to be set free upon the completion of his quest.

As Charlemagne’s nephew approached the shore of the lake in question, he followed Falerina’s instructions to block up his ears with flowers to blot out the singing of the Siren that lived in the lake. He sat down on the shoreline and waited until at last the Siren rose from the water and began singing her song. Continue reading

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CAPTAIN AMERICA & THE FALCON: 1970s CLASSICS

Superhero-hungry readers have been letting me know they want more Marvel Comics blog posts. With my look at 1970s classics for the Avengers and Spider-Man completed this post starts a look at 70s classics for Captain America & the Falcon. 

ca f 153CAPTAIN AMERICA & THE FALCON Vol 1 #153 (September 1972)

Title: Captain America – Hero or Hoax?

Villains: The Captain America of the 1950s (William Burnside, one of the men whom the U.S. government had assume the role of Captain America while the real Cap was M.I.A. and presumed dead for decades.) and the Bucky of the 1950s (Jack Monroe, one of the young men the government assigned the “Bucky” identity during that same period.)

Synopsis: Captain America and the Falcon, in their secret identities of Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson, are with S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Sharon Carter at the airport. Sam is seeing off Steve and Sharon as they fly to the Bahamas for a long vacation together (By this time Sharon knows that Captain America is really Steve Rogers.)

When the two lovebirds’ plane flies off, Sam Wilson returns to his life as a social worker in Harlem while also fighting crime there in his costumed identity of the Falcon. Because this is before the Falcon got his high-tech wings (that story is coming, too) back then he got around by the way his falconing glove shot a wire like Daredevil’s billy club did, too, so Falcon could swing around the city like DD and Spider-Man. Continue reading

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BLOODHOUNDS OF BROADWAY (1989) – A HAPPY NEW YEAR MOVIE REVIEW

bloodhounds of broadwayThis review is dedicated to my beloved nephew Donny, who first introduced me to this movie years ago.

BLOODHOUNDS OF BROADWAY (1989) – Randy Quaid and Madonna as a romantic couple? Rutger Hauer as a pastiche of crime lord Arnold Rothstein? THE William S. Burroughs as a butler? Ethan “Neelix” Phillips as a wannabe gangster?

Yes, all that and more in this all but forgotten 1989 flop which deserved to be much better than it is and with work it could have become a New Year’s Eve viewing staple.

Bh on brFour Damon Runyon stories were blended into a 93 minute movie that was released to just one theater … missing a reel. PBS Playhouse gave this romantic comedy its widest exposure before it fell down the memory hole. As of this writing it has only 8 reviews at IMDb.   

Significantly, the film is set on December 31st of 1928, which was the last big New Year’s Eve bacchanalia of the Roaring Twenties but nobody knew it at the time. Before another year went by the Stock Market Crash would help usher in the Great Depression, making that 1928 New Year’s Eve blowout a figurative Mardi Gras before the austerity of Lent. The December 31st, 1929 celebrations were considerably subdued by comparison.

If you’re a Guys & Dolls fan, Mindy’s Restaurant is one of the settings for Bloodhounds of Broadway, just like in that much better known work based on Damon Runyon stories. At any rate, the four tales combined to form this rom-com are:    Continue reading

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BEST OF OCTOBER 2021

Balladeer’s Blog wraps up its end of year retrospective with this look at October’s best. In 2022 I’m going to limit the retrospective to just January through September. 

laraine and lug nutsLARAINE NEWMAN’S CANNED FILM FESTIVAL (1986) – After Elvira’s Movie Macabre, concurrent with The Texas 27 Film Vault and a few years before MST3K came this short-lived Movie Host show that presented bad and campy movies from the 1930s to 1960s. Click HERE

HORROR FILM: THE NEST OF THE CUCKOO BIRDS (1965) – I review this neglected horror film about a nude female slasher in a mask, human taxidermy and a sinister, isolated Florida hotel which lets you check in but not check out. Click HERE.

faust coverFAUST: THE PRE-SPAWN VERSION OF SPAWN – A look at the 1987-2012 horror hero whose comic book adventures featured over the top violence and pornographic sexuality so extreme that the book was banned in various countries around the world. Click HERE.  

MUSICAL MUTINY (1970) – My review of this bizarre film. Iron Butterfly themselves appear and do performances of several songs including In A Gadda Da Vida. Featuring a ghostly pirate, a mad scientist in his 20s and the defunct amusement park called Pirates World. Click HERE

dune altDUNE AS AN OPERA CYCLE – Frank Herbert’s first few Dune novels presented as a cycle of operas.

Click HERE.

EVERYBODY BELIEVES THEY ARE ON “THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY” – Claiming to be on the right side of history is as meaningless as claiming you have God on your side. Click HERE.

graveyard shift coverGRAVEYARD SHIFT – A review of the first three volumes of the Malin/ Poulton team of monster superheroes. Meet Professor Blood, the Monster, the Bride, Ghost in the Machine, Monster Girl and Sea Urchin. For villains you have the likes of Lady Shoggoth, Killer 99 and the Crimson Guard. Click HERE.

TWO OVERLOOKED HORROR TALES FROM JULIAN HAWTHORNE (1888 and 1893) – Nathaniel Hawthorne’s son and two of his forgotten horror stories. In this case the short stories deal with Egyptian mummies on the loose and a female vampire. Click HERE. Continue reading

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DEMOCRATS VS THE REST OF US: DECEMBER 31st

biden not fitIt’s been a year of non-stop hatred, lies, ineptitude, intolerance and division from the Democrats, the political party I’m ashamed to say I used to belong to before I left it to become an Independent Voter. And as for the Republicans, anyone who claims they have a hard time finding items pointing out that party’s failings and scandals is lying.

JOE BIDEN CALLOUSLY WASHES HIS HANDS OF HIS COVID DEBACLE, CLAIMING IT’S NO LONGER A PROBLEM THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT SHOULD BE DEALING WITH. Then skips town for another vacation HERE. More Biden disasters HERE.

democrat platform hatredLIFELONG RACIST JOE BIDEN SAYS SCHOOLS IN IOWA DO BETTER THAN SCHOOLS IN WASHINGTON DC BECAUSE IOWA HAS A LOWER AFRICAN-AMERICAN POPULATION.  

DEMOCRAT GOVERNOR OF NEW JERSEY VACATIONS IN COSTA RICA AS CRISES IN THE STATE WORSEN.

WASHINGTON STATE DEMOCRATS PUSH BILL TO REDUCE THE PENALTIES FOR DRIVE-BY SHOOTINGS. More HERE. The Democrats have been the Party of Crime for quite a while now.

DEMOCRATS AT CNN REFUSE TO COMMENT AMID THE ONGOING ALLEGED SEXUAL MISCONDUCT WITH MINORS. Democrats, can you leave kids alone already?

ANOTHER WAY THAT THE DEMOCRATS WHO RUN THE TEACHER’S UNIONS HARM STUDENTS. Continue reading

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CHARLEMAGNE: THE ENCHANTED GARDENS OF FALERINA

PaladinAs always, from December 1st through Twelfth Night (January 6th) Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at some of the old legends surrounding Charlemagne and his Paladins. These are the fictional tales about Charlemagne, so there will be magic and monsters included.

RolandTHE ENCHANTED GARDENS OF FALERINA – We pick up from last time as the Paladins Roland and Reinold are separately heading for the Gardens of Falerina to free all the warriors imprisoned there. Reinold (at last reunited with his faithful steed Bayard) was on this quest on behalf of the beautiful Flordelis, whose true love Florismart is among the prisoners.   

The gardens were inside the Castle of Falerina, which stood in the middle of a lake. The lone bridge leading to the castle was protected by Arridano, a mystically powered brute of a man who had to be overcome if one were to gain access to the bridge.

So far no one had been able to defeat him, and the captured arms and armor of all the men he had vanquished lay piled high on the lake shore as trophies. Reinold reached the bridge first and wasted no time in dismounting and attacking the ruffian, who wielded an iron mace against the Paladin.

Eventually the pair fell to grappling with one another and the bridge guardian held tight to Reinold and leaped with him into the lake. Once submerged the guard held an insurmountable advantage since he was able to breathe underwater and soon Reinold joined the other prisoners in the Gardens of Falerina. Continue reading

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