Tag Archives: movie reviews

HORROR FILMS: EXTREME AND ENVELOPE-PUSHING

With Halloween Month rolling along, Balladeer’s Blog presents a list of some horror films that are extreme with their graphic gore or their envelope-pushing themes.

rabid grannies coverRABID GRANNIES (UNCUT VERSION) (1988) – We’ll start with the mildest one on this list. Yes, even in its original, uncut and graphically violent form it’s mild for this list. Those darn Belgians produced this Evil Dead-inspired movie which featured a pair of nonagenarian aunts being sent a birthday gift by their Satanist nephew.

When the gift is opened that night, it transforms the pair into hideously ugly demonoids who prey upon all of the relatives gathered to celebrate their birthday at their remote mansion home. Not even children are exempt from getting killed as the ever-mutating “grannies” slaughter the family members. 

What the two demonoids do to the priest in the family is very, very dark. FOR MY FULL-LENGTH REVIEW CLICK HERE.

NOTE: The movies below this point tend to be very distressing for people with more conventional tastes in horror films. Turn back NOW if you do not like extreme violence and/or extreme themes. Continue reading

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STRANGLER OF THE SWAMP (1946): HALLOWEEN GHOST FILM

strangler of the swampSTRANGLER OF THE SWAMP (1946) – Halloween Month rolls along here at Balladeer’s Blog with this appealing cult film from 1946. Strangler of the Swamp seems destined to be forever overpraised or overpanned. Personally, I find it an ideal Halloween movie for those people who don’t like blood, gore and graphic violence in their horror films.

NOTE: I review movies from the most blood-soaked to the most mild, so be wary and don’t assume all horror films reviewed at Balladeer’s Blog are comparatively mild.

I’ll throw out some quick trivia to hopefully make this neglected work more appealing to people who normally scorn black & white and/or bloodless horror flicks:

*** THE Blake Edwards, prominent director famed for Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Pink Panther, 10 and many other films, plays the male lead.

maria and the Strangler of the Swamp*** Charles Middleton, who played Ming the Merciless in early Flash Gordon serials, portrays the ghostly ferryman of the title.

*** Rosemary LaPlanche, Miss America of 1941, stars as the female lead.

Strangler of the Swamp was directed and co-written by German-American director Frank Wisbar. He was adapting his 1936 German film Fahrmann Maria to an American setting and amping up the horror angle.

In the 1936 movie the figure of Death personified was the main menace. For Strangler of the Swamp, Wisbar changed nearly the entire story and made a murderous ghost the villain. Wisbar masterfully converted the European flavor to Southern Gothic.

THE STORY: Continue reading

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THE NIGHTMARE ENDS ON HALLOWEEN I & II

nightmare halloweenTHE NIGHTMARE ENDS ON HALLOWEEN (supercut) – Back in 2004 Chris R. Notarile wrote and directed one of the most acclaimed fan films in the horror genre with The Nightmare Ends on Halloween. Following the comparative disappointment of Freddy vs Jason the previous year, Notarile produced a short film pitting Freddy Krueger of Nightmare on Elm Street fame against Michael Myers from the Halloween franchise.

By adding Pinhead the Cenobite from Hellraiser, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th, he gave his fan film the feel of monster rally movies like House of Dracula and House of Frankenstein.    

The Story: Continue reading

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COMEDIES: MODERN PARODY HALL OF FAME

Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at its Comedy Hall of Fame honorees – parody division.  A film must be thirty years old or older to qualify. Here they are, in no particular order.

love and deathLOVE AND DEATH (1975)

Written and directed by Woody Allen. In the years before he started churning out relationship movie after relationship movie, Woody crafted this hilarious parody of Russian literature AND Russian filmmaking.

When Love and Death was made, Allen’s comedic approach was up there with Mel Brooks, the Monty Python troupe and the Airplane/ Naked Gun folks in terms of fast and furious laughs with virtually no time to catch your breath.

This movie features love triangles and rectangles, silent film riffs, metaphysics, the principal from the Back to the Future films as Napoleon and the ultimate Black Russian joke. Diane Keaton was terrific at comedy even before her turn in Annie Hall. Continue reading

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WAVELENGTH (1983)

WavelengthWAVELENGTH (1983) – This is an unjustly neglected science fiction film that stars Robert Carradine, Cherie Currie and Keenan Wynn in a very unconventional love triangle: both Carradine and Currie are fighting over Wynn. (I’m kidding!)

Robert Carradine plays a moody musician suffering a career lull, Cherie Currie portrays a groupie who becomes a bona fide romantic partner for him and Keenan Wynn barks and snarls in his usual “grouch with a heart of gold” manner. Cherie’s sensitive mind is open to alien brain-waves calling to her from a nearby (seemingly) abandoned government installation. Carradine and his neighbor Wynn help her try to find out what’s going on. Continue reading

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ROOSTER: SPURS OF DEATH (1977 & 1983)

rooster spurs of deathROOSTER: SPURS OF DEATH – This cosmically bad and tasteless movie was completed in 1977 but not released until 1983, presumably because there’s never been much demand for films from the ugly subgenre of cockfighting flicks. (Cocksploitation?)

Previously, Balladeer’s Blog reviewed the horrific movie Cockfighter, in which star Warren Oates portrayed a man who trains roosters for cockfights and at one point takes a vow of silence until one of his roosters wins a fight. (Hey, it’s not exactly the Dothraki custom of cutting a man’s hair if he loses a fight, but what can you do?)

Some of my remarks regarding Cockfighter can also be applied to Rooster: Spurs of Death, a Quinn Martin Production. Okay, I’m kidding about the Quinn Martin part, but anyway, R:SOD makes you understand exactly why the cruel activity of cockfighting became so despised. Continue reading

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365 DAYS AND ITS SEQUELS: WORSE THAN BOTH TWILIGHT AND 50 SHADES OF GREY

Blanka Lipinska

Author Blanka Lipinska

365 DAYS (2020) – My fellow fans of bad movies have long been leaving comments and sending emails encouraging me to review Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey. I’m glad I delayed, because now I can review this even worse book and film series.

You may be wondering why, if I could resist reviewing the tale of a hundred-year-old vampire and a shirt-challenged werewolf fighting over a hopelessly bland teen girl, why have I decided to go ahead and review 365 Days and its sequels? And you may be wondering why, if I could resist reviewing the tale of a deranged billionaire stalker and the hopelessly bland object of his fixation, why have I decided to go ahead and review 365 Days and its sequels?

I can answer with one word … pierogie!

As my last name indicates, I am of Polish-American descent and with the scene where the abducted woman in the 365 Days franchise demands that her gangster captor provide her with “Normal food … pierogie!” I knew I had found my muse! Even though I never got the hoped-for line “Leave the gun. Take the kielbasa.”  Continue reading

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BRIDE OF WILLIAM SHATNER: EIGHT FILMS

marcy laffertyAudiences thrilled to Son of William Shatner. They were chilled by Revenge of William Shatner. And they were both charmed AND slightly turned-on by Bride of William Shatner.

All of which is Balladeer’s Blog’s roundabout way of introducing this quick look at some of the screen appearances of Marcy Lafferty-Shatner, who was married to the legend from 1973-1996.   

paper manPAPER MAN (1971) – Marcy’s appearance in this telefilm was B.S. (Before Shatner). Paper Man starred Dean Stockwell, Stefanie Powers, Tina Chen and Ross Elliott. Marcy played an unnamed secretary.

The plot involved college friends abusing early computer technology to create a non-existent “paper man” just so they could get a credit card in that name and go on a quick spending spree with no accountability.

Things get eerie when the non-existent person they created seems to be tracking them down and killing them one by one.     Continue reading

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OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN IN TOOMORROW (1970)

Olivia Newton-John has passed away. In memoriam here is my 2020 review of her 1970 film Toomorrow, which went unreleased for several years due to legal battles. 

ToomorrowTOOMORROW (1970) – What is one part Monkees episode, one part Frankie & Annette Beach Movie, one part Help!, one part Donny & Marie in Goin’ Coconuts, one part KISS Meets The Phantom of the Park and one part Beyond the Valley of the Dolls? The answer is Toomorrow, the infamous Don Kirshner/ Val Guest cult movie with a then-unknown Olivia Newton-John in a starring role.

The aim was to launch a new pre-fab pop band like the Monkees, but this time consisting of an Aussie (Newton-John of course), a Brit (Vic Cooper), an African-American (Karl Chambers) and a white American (Benny Thomas).   

Olivia sings and also dances around the guys while they play, Benny plays the guitar, Karl is the drummer and Vic plays the keyboard AND his special invention called a Tonalizer. The band is called Toomorrow because, as Karl observes, they are “Too much! Too-Morrow!”

Toomorrow 2We’re told that Vic’s Tonalizer is what gives Toomorrow its special “sound.” How special is that sound? So special that its unique vibrations can revive the stagnant culture of an alien race that’s facing decay and collapse. It seems the aliens’ own musical output has grown stale because they have long since progressed beyond the troublesome “emotions” and “heart” that Toomorrow’s members pour into their songs. 

Buy this movie for the Sandbaggers or Dalgleish fan in your life, because Roy “Neil Burnside” Marsden co-stars as Alpha, the captain of the aliens’ spaceship. His forever-terse voice is unmistakable despite the – admittedly competent – makeup and prosthetic effects for the ET’s (above right). Continue reading

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POSSE (1993) A BLACK WESTERN

 Frontierado is coming up on Friday, August 5th!

POSSE is a terrific western about a gang of African American  gunfighters (plus the goofiest  Baldwin brother) involved in an action-packed epic journey across the American west. The Frontierado holiday is the perfect time of year to hunker down with this film while drinking a Cactus Jack or a Deuces Wild or two. I’ll review the recipes for those mixed drinks in a few days, but for now we’ll focus on this movie on our countdown.

Posse stars Mario Van Peebles, who also directed, as Jesse Lee, the brooding, revenge-driven hero of the saga. He and all but one member of his gang, our titular posse, are soldiers fighting in Cuba during the Spanish-American War in 1898. A dangerous assault they carry out turns out to be Continue reading

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