Tag Archives: Balladeer’s Blog

October 19, 2012 · 12:10 am

THE BEST SILENT HORROR FILM SHORTS 1896 – 1909

masc graveyard smallerI’ve never made any secret out of the fact that I’m a hopeless silent movie geek. As we get closer to Halloween Balladeer’s Blog will examine the greatest silent horror films of all but for this little teaser I’ll take a look at the best silent horror shorts from 1896 to 1909.

THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL (1896) – Unless an earlier example turns up this is the very first horror movie with a semblance of a story. This 3 minute film from THE Georges Melies features the Devil setting up housekeeping in a creepy mansion and conjuring up his infernal lackeys like witches, goblins and a living skeleton man to keep him company. Much as the early film world owes to Melies we all know if you’ve seen one of his flicks you’ve seen them all so this will be the last work by him that I cover for this list. His camera trickery and broad characters get old REALLY fast.

FAUST AND MEPHISTOPHELES (1898) – George A Smith, a British stage magician, presents this very brief depiction of Faust selling his soul to the devil named Mephistopheles.

THE MISER’S DOOM (1899) – Like an 1899 Twilight Zone episode this Walter Booth short features a clutching, grasping miser getting his comeuppance in the form of a fatal encounter with a woman’s ghost. 

THE FREAK BARBER (1905) – In a sort of “Extreme Sweeney Todd” story a mad barber decapitates his customers until the tables are turned and he himself gets his head chopped off in the finale. 3 minutes of weirdness.

THE THIRTEEN CLUB (1905) – A group of Continue reading →

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October 4, 2012 · 8:59 pm

HALLOWEEN OPERA: TALES OF HOFFMANN

Tales of Hoffmann

Tales of Hoffmann

Yes, as if I wasn’t boring enough already I’m also into opera! Now, I know traditionally “the” Halloween Opera has always been Don Giovanni , but I’ve never bought into that notion since there’s really only one scene in the whole opera that qualifies as spooky and supernatural. At this time of year I prefer Offenbach’s Tales Of Hoffmann.

Not only is it full of appropriately eerie and menacing elements, but it’s also the perfect opera for you to share with someone who’s seeing their very first opera.

One of the reasons for that is that it’s in short segments, surrounded by a wraparound opening and finale. Offenbach adapts short stories written by E.T.A. Hoffmann, who in real life was a pre-Edgar Alan Poe author of eerie short stories in his native Austria during the 1800s. At any rate since this opera’s in short segments novices to the artform won’t have time to Continue reading →

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October 4, 2012 · 12:10 am

COOL FOOTBALL HELMET: WAYLAND BAPTIST UNIVERSITY

WAYLAND BAPTIST UNIVERSITY PIONEERS

Location: Plainview, TX

Division: NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics)

Comment: The Pioneers relaunched football just this year and already have a victory under their belts! They embraced the NAIA tradition of beating NCAA Division 3 teams to get a “W” in this Continue reading →

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October 3, 2012 · 9:32 pm

MOCK DEFINITIONS OF LIBERAL AND CONSERVATIVE TERMS

“If I get reelected I want YOUR take-home pay to be reduced so drastically that you have trouble making ends meet while my cronies and I remain rich from plundering the public treasury! Sucks to be YOU losers!”

Welcome back to the favorite site of Independent Voters, Balladeer’s Blog, as always coming to you from an America where every single news outlet slants its coverage in order to pander to either Liberals or Conservatives. Tonight is this year’s first presidential debate between the usual partisan fools the Democratic and Republican Parties always inflict on the voters. Needless to say, both of them are rich and are children of privilege who have nothing in common with the rest of us. 

As a public service to the rest of us Balladeer’s Blog presents a handy guide to the political terms most frequently used by Liberal fanatics and Conservative fanatics and what those terms REALLY mean. Here they are, in no particular order: 

BARACK OBAMA – An Continue reading →

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October 2, 2012 · 12:04 am

MOCK CAMPAIGN SLOGANS FOR OBAMA AND ROMNEY, COURTESY OF BALLADEER’S BLOG

Two children of privilege who have nothing in common with the rest of us.

Welcome back to the favorite site of Independent Voters, Balladeer’s Blog, as always coming to you from an America stuck with the usual lame partisan fools that the Democratic and Republican Parties will go on sticking us with because of their monopolistic hold on our political system. This year the Democrats are trying to reelect the weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama while the Republicans, rising to the challenge of coming up with a candidate as laughable as Obama, went with the man I like to call “the Republican Walter Mondale” – Mitt Romney.

Since Balladeer’s Blog remains the only site on the web that trashes both Liberal fools and Conservative fools equally I feel uniquely qualified to offer up some campaign slogans for these two repulsive figures. First up I’ll deal with Obama since he’s the incumbent felon, then I’ll handle Romney.

Barack Obama: If shallow, uninformed and emotionally unstable entertainers think he’s fit to govern the nation who are YOU to question their judgement?

Barack Obama: He’ll shrink your take-home pay until you have trouble making ends meet or die trying!

Barack Obama: All the ineptitude of Jimmy Carter … all the corruption of Richard Nixon.

Barack Obama: Because the problems of the 21st Century call for 1960’s solutions.

Barack Obama: Continue reading →

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September 13, 2012 · 12:02 am

BAD MOVIE PAGE: FOR YOUR HEIGHT ONLY (1981)

Weng Weng and Lola

Weng Weng and Lola

FOR YOUR HEIGHT ONLY (1981) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9– sized cult following.

I’ve been delaying reviewing this hilariously bizarre film for years. It’s just so chock full of inane dialogue and WTF moments that it’s a challenge to write a review that isn’t novel-length.

For the essentials: this is a Philippine action movie starring the midget novelty celebrity named Weng Weng as Secret Agent OO (yes, Double O). It sounds like a comedy but what makes it great is that IT’S NOT! It’s played seriously and features Weng Weng using firearms and fancy gadgets like James Bond, engaging in martial arts fights like Bruce Lee, drooling over regular-sized women like Herve Villaichez, sword- fighting as skillfully as Zatoichi and sporting a poorly- concealed bald spot like Ryen Russillo. 

Weng Weng works for an outfit called simply “The Secret Agency”, so I’m guessing it’s one of those generic intelligence services that is MUCH cheaper than name brands. Hell, the head of the Continue reading →

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August 20, 2012 · 9:49 pm

COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON 2012 KICKS OFF THIS WEEK

 THIS WEEK THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON KICKS OFF IN THE DIVISIONS COVERED BY BALLADEER’S BLOG!

Teams like the Hutchinson Blue Dragons (helmet at left), the Jamestown College Jimmies, the William Penn University Statesmen and the Eastern Arizona College Gila Monsters will all begin their season on various days throughout the coming week!

Not only that but the CC Fighting Saints, ranked Number 1 in Balladeer’s Blog’s NAIA College Football Rankings, will kickoff this Friday the 24th at the 23rd- ranked MSU-Northern Lights. The Pima Aztecs travel to face the Phoenix College Bears on Thursday night and the Continue reading →

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August 15, 2012 · 7:39 pm

12 NEW TEAMS JOIN THE NATIONAL CHRISTIAN COLLEGE ATHLETIC ASSOCIATION

 The Fresno Pacific University Sunbirds (logo at left) and eleven other teams have joined the National Christian College Athletic Association. With the arrival of this deadly dozen the NCCAA now boasts one hundred fourteen institutions.

The NCCAA is one of the divisions of college sports that Balladeer’s Blog has been covering for  roughly two years.  College football is starting soon and the Victory Bowl will once again be the championship game of this underappreciated division come the end of the year.

Here’s the complete list of those twelve teams in descending order of nickname coolness: 1. Southern Nazarene University Crimson Storm   ###   2. Fresno Pacific University Sunbirds   ###   3. McMurry  University Warhawks   ###   4. Morthland College Continue reading →

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August 14, 2012 · 12:04 am

BAD MOVIE PAGE: THE NEWLYDEADS (1987)

 I recently received an email requesting that I review the hilariously bad 1987 horror film The Newlydeads. As it happens I reviewed that flick in 2010, so here it is again. As a reminder to new readers if you want an immediate bad movie fix on a particular film you can check my Bad Movie page to see if I’ve reviewed it already. Here is the link: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

THE NEWLYDEADS (1987) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following   This film is about an undead transvestite slasher called Jackie who preys on the couples at a honeymoon hotel. Hey, if the Sleepaway Camp horror films can have the Continue reading →

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August 7, 2012 · 12:22 am

BALLADEER’S BLOG’S NAIA COLLEGE FOOTBALL PRESEASON TOP 25

 Yes, it’s Balladeer’s Blog’s preseason rankings for the NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) football teams. The NAIA has so many potent football teams from top to bottom I’ll be doing an entire Top 25 for them every week instead of my usual Top 12.

The football season in the NAIA kicks off on August 24th, and as always Balladeer’s Blog will be there covering the action all season long.

 The reigning national champions, the Saint Xavier University Cougars will begin defending their title soon with Dianne “The Cougar” Zajdel cheering them on. Coach Mike Feminis’ boys are fresh off their first national football crown but they are not the top team in my rankings here in the preseason.

Based on overall performance over the past several years the C.C. Fighting Saints, last year’s runners- up, are at number 1. The Hellions from Helena, as I call them, have earned a name for football excellence season after season and have won six of the last ten national championships and played in eight of those ten title games. Teams named Cougars have been a hurdle for C.C., with the University of Sioux Falls Cougars and Chicago’s own SXU Cougars being the only two teams to defeat the Fighting Saints in Rome, GA, the home of the NAIA Championship Game.

Coach Fem’s boys are at number two, with the entire Top 25 looking like this:

1. C.C. Fighting Saints   ###   2. SXU Cougars (defending champs)   ###   3. Georgetown (KY) Tigers   ###   4. Marian University Knights   ###   5. MidAmerica Nazarene University Pioneers   ###   6. Morningside Mustangs   ###   7. Continue reading →

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