April 27, 2013 · 2:28 pm

BAD MOVIE SHORT: IT’S WONDERFUL BEING A GIRL (1966)

ModessIT’S WONDERFUL BEING A GIRL (1966) – This 22 minute educational film about menstruation features one of my all-time favorite lines from female hygiene shorts. That line is “You CAN have fun while you’re menstruating!” To me that remark is even more fun than the line from Molly Grows Up which goes “Menstruating girls should avoid square dancing.” (That’s good advice for anybody, really, even if they’re not menstruating.)

Mom is about to introduce her 12 year old daughter Libby to the facts about Continue reading →

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April 26, 2013 · 8:44 pm

COLLEGE BASEBALL CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT RESULTS FROM APRIL 25TH

St Catharine PatriotsMID-SOUTH CONFERENCE – The upset of the day yesterday came in this conference as the 7th seeded ST CATHARINE PATRIOTS edged the 2 seeds, the GEORGETOWN (KY) TIGERS, in a 2-1 Instant Classic.   ###   Meanwhile the top-seeded CUMBERLAND UNIVERSITY BULLDOGS survived a 3-1 clash with the 8th seeded SHAWNEE STATE BEARS.   ###   The (3) LINDSEY WILSON COLLEGE BLUE RAIDERS pounded the (6) UNIVERSITY OF THE CUMBERLANDS PATRIOTS  6-2.   ###   And the (5) RIO GRANDE (OH) RED STORM fell to the (4) CAMPBELLSVILLE TIGERS in a 5-0 shutout.

Point Park U PioneersKENTUCKY INTERCOLLEGIATE ATHLETIC CONFERENCE – On Day Two in the KIAC tourney the top seeds, the POINT PARK PIONEERS, made the 5th seeded BEREA MOUNTAINEERS their prison brides in a 22-4 annihilation.   ###   The 2nd seeded INDIANA UNIVERSITY SOUTHEAST GRENADIERS likewise took care of business with ease, decimating yesterday’s upset winners the 6th seeded ALICE LLOYD EAGLES. The final score was Continue reading →

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April 25, 2013 · 11:20 pm

THE TSARNAEV BROTHERS’ VICTIMS AND THEIR FAMILIES DESERVE COMPASSION, NOT THE ANIMALS WHO KILLED THEM

Two sullen animals whose only significance came from the harm their religion drove them to do

Two sullen animals whose only significance came from the harm their religion drove them to do

As surely as April follows March the bizarre masochists of America will blame themselves after every attack by Muslim fanatics. Never mind the fact that Muslims in America tend to live better than they do in countries run by their fellow Muslims. Even worse, in this case the sullen losers called the Tsarnaev brothers are getting shown more public compassion than their victims. And the demented cackling of their paranoid, shoplifting mother is on television even more often than campaign ads in an election year.  

Imagine being a family member of one of the 3 dead and over 250 maimed and wounded from the Muslim Marathon Massacre and seeing how the increasingly demented creatures of the American media insist on celebrating the killers or maimers of your loved ones. And doing it over and over again simply because it fits into their masochistic “narrative” in which the country that took pathetic human beings like the Tsarnaev brothers in and even let their family have welfare benefits didn’t do enough to make them feel welcome and therefore supposedly DROVE them to the acts of violence they commited.

EVERY ONE OF THE VICTIMS OF THOSE TWO ANIMALS HAD ISSUES THEY WERE DEALING WITH, TOO! Because the Tsarnaevs’ victims were civilized they bore their Continue reading →

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April 25, 2013 · 8:32 pm

NAIA COLLEGE BASEBALL’S POSTSEASON IS UNDERWAY

Kentucky IntercollegiateThe conference tournaments are underway in the NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics)! Last night the Kentucky Intercollegiate Athletics Conference threw out the first pitch in their tourney. There were just two games in that opening round, both of them upsets.

The 5th seeded BEREA COLLEGE MOUNTAINEERS doubled-up on the 4 seeds, the ASBURY UNIVERSITY  EAGLES, by a score of 14-7.    ###   … And the 6th seeded ALICE LLOYD COLLEGE Continue reading →

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April 25, 2013 · 12:01 am

RETURN OF THE FLY (1959): ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT – AUGUST 9TH, 1986

*** FEATURING A MAJOR MILESTONE IN THE SHOW’S HISTORY ***

Morning Breath

Morning Breath

BEFORE MST3K THERE WAS … THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT!

In the mid-1980’s The Texas 27 Film Vault was the show to watch on Saturday nights to see “Film Vault Technicians First Class” Randy Clower and Richard Malmos show and mock bad and campy movies preceded by episodes of old Republic serials. Machine-gun toting Randy and Richard would also have comedic sci-fi adventures before and after commercial breaks. 

Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult series via my research into really old newspapers, my interview with Randy Clower and recollections from my fellow fans of this show. Keep those emails and comments coming “Vaulties”. Here’s my latest review of the movie shown by Randy and Richard when a date can be verified.  

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday August 9th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1am.  * Special thanks to my fellow T27FV fan Spearman for the date.

Atom Man vs SupermanSERIAL: Before the movie an episode of the 1950 Columbia serial Atom Man vs Superman was shown. Kirk Alyn starred as Superman with Lyle Talbot as his archenemy Lex Luthor. Lex has his own secret identity in this serial – each episode he dons a lead mask and oversees the villainy as “Atom Man”.

This was one of the liveliest and most campily watchable serials of the 50’s. Especially laughable are the bits when Superman “flies” – an effect achieved by switching from live footage of Kirk Alyn to INSERTED CARTOON FOOTAGE of Superman flying. Think of the ‘Toons in Roger Rabbit interacting with the live backgrounds and you have the idea.   

FILM VAULT LORE: The previous week our boys of the Film Vault Corps (“the few … the proud … the sarcastic”) had shown The Story of Mankind, another film with this episode’s interview subject: THE Vincent Price. Like this week’s showing of Return of the Fly it was used to promote Randy and Richard’s upcoming public appearance at the Dallas debut of David Cronenberg’s remake of The Fly. (More on that public appearance after the movie review) Spearman also tells me this August 9th episode also featured R&R’s interview with Vincent Price.

THE MOVIE: Return of the Fly is a black and white sequel to the Continue reading →

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April 24, 2013 · 8:39 pm

COOL-NAMED SPORTS TEAM: WAYCROSS COLLEGE

Waycross College Swamp FoxesWAYCROSS COLLEGE SWAMP FOXES

Location: Waycross, GA

Division: NJCAA

Conference Affiliation: GJCAA 

Comment: This name takes the whole concept of cool-named sports teams to the next level! Everyone loves the Swamp Fox aka Francis Marion, hero of the Continue reading →

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April 23, 2013 · 8:38 pm

DICK: RICHARD FALK, ALLEGED U.N. “HUMAN RIGHTS COUNCIL” EXPERT, IMPLIES THE BOSTON VICTIMS HAD IT COMING FOR BEING WESTERNERS

Dick hates it when westerners get in the way of Islamist explosives.

Dick hates it when westerners get in the way of Islamist explosives.

Richard Falk, a Princeton-indoctrinated groveler for Islam, has proven to be a callous monster as well as a fool. In his latest hate-filled rant in the Muslim propoganda outfit Foreign Policy Journal he HILARIOUSLY distorts the situation between the civilized world and Islamists. In the minds of people like … Dick … when Islamist madmen commit mass murder it is entirely justified. When anyone retaliates or even INVESTIGATES Islamist fanatics it is a sign that poor li’l Islam is being picked on. The homophobic and woman-hating Islamist fanatics are the kind of people Richard Falk should be condemning, especially for their savage treatment of women. Dick … doesn’t have the courage to do that so of course he redirects his anger at the United States, like his equally cowardly and mindlessly conformist colleagues in the academic world.

HEY … DICK … WHAT ABOUT THE “HUMAN RIGHTS” OF ALL THE DEAD VICTIMS OF ISLAMIST VIOLENCE?

AND … To the surprise of nobody except spineless crawlers like Richard Falk ANOTHER Islamist plot was Continue reading →

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April 23, 2013 · 12:07 am

EIGHT ANCIENT GREEK COMEDIES WITH THEMES THAT ARE STILL RELEVANT

Map

Map

The satirical comedies written and performed during the glory years of the ancient Athenian Democracy still pack a punch after more than 2,400 years. Athens faced many of the same issues and dilemmas we Americans face. Part of the reason for that is the fact that our founding fathers were great students of ancient Greek democracy and modeled some of our own institutions on the Athenian model.

The comedies are also much more sophisticated than modern audiences expect, featuring political views, sexual material and metatheatrical humor that seems several centuries ahead of their time. Breaking the fourth wall is not a postmodern concept like some people have convinced themselves – it was a convention established in these ancient works of comedy.

Irreverence toward any and all subjects – including the gods they worshipped – was permitted by the Athenians in the “anything goes” arena of the Theatre of Dionysus, where the comedies competed with each other at festivals, chiefly the Dionysia and the Lenaea.

TRIPHALLES – By Aristophanes. This comedy was a mythological burlesque and featured the fantastic story of the title character, a man with three penises. Mythological burlesques could be comedies that parodied the story of a specific mythological figure or could simply lampoon the grandiose approach of mythic tales. This would be done by employing the storytelling technique of a sweeping epic to tell a less-than-majestic story. Picture a modern-day grand opera about the John Holmes or Continue reading →

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April 21, 2013 · 2:15 pm

NOTEWORTHY COLLEGE BASEBALL RESULTS FROM APRIL 20TH

Rose-Hulman Engineers logoENGINEERS DO IT WITH SLIDE-RULES – The unranked ROSE-HULMAN INSTITUTE ENGINEERS managed a split with the number 9 MANCHESTER SPARTANS yesterday. The Engineers doubled-up on the Spartans by a score of 6-3 in the first game but the Spartans turned the tables on them in the second game, crushing them 10-1. Believe it or not this was the only upset in the Top 25 in yesterday’s action!

Linfield Wildcats logoTHESE GAMES WERE RANK – In clashes between ranked teams yesterday: The top-ranked LINFIELD COLLEGE WILDCATS took care of business, mauling the number 19 GEORGE FOX BRUINS 6-1 and 10-3.   ###   In the 3 spot the KEAN COUGARS took two from the 14th ranked RAMAPO COLLEGE ROADRUNNERS, edging them 8-7 and Continue reading →

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April 19, 2013 · 11:51 pm

“WORLDVIEW: ISLAM” – THE MUSLIM MARATHON MASSACRE

RELIGION KILLS

RELIGION KILLS

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that truly criticizes American Liberals and Conservatives equally.

I’d like to offer my condolences to America’s Liberals, who were salivating with the desperate hope that the massacre at the Boston Marathon could be blamed on the Conservatives they hate with such irrational fervor. Democratic stations like NPR, CNN and others which are the Liberal versions of Fox News Channel and talk radio were lovingly dwelling on the April 15th date (Tax Day), practically orgasming at the thought that Continue reading →

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