For Thanksgiving week, here’s another Turkey from the years before Tom Selleck broke through to tv stardom.
THE GYPSY WARRIORS (1978) – Yesterday I reviewed the godawful 1979 telefilm The Chinese Typewriter, an obscure disaster from Stephen J. Cannell starring Tom Selleck and James Whitmore, Jr. Today I’m keeping the theme going with this look at an even earlier telefilm that Cannell wrote and executive-produced for his new darlings Selleck and Whitmore.
Like The Chinese Typewriter, The Gypsy Warriors was a pilot movie for a potential series to star Tom and James. Overall, it’s even worse than the 1979 effort, but at least that one was fun-bad. The Gypsy Warriors spends too much time mired in boring-bad territory, so I consider it much less enjoyable.
This 1978 tv-movie starts out by turning “show, don’t tell” on its ear. As bad as the opening of The Chinese Typewriter was, the opening to this World War Two snoozer is even worse. The beginning devotes FOURTEEN entire minutes of the 76-minute runtime to a portentous announcer merely narrating as we see mismatched footage of hands, arms and the backs of heads plus second unit film of buildings, airplanes and vehicles.
The vehicles don’t fit the 1940 setting and neither does the darkened New York City skyline being passed off as a European port city even though the World Trade Center Towers are visible. That’s a special level of not giving a damn.
But wait, there’s MORE! Continue reading
Two thousand fishermen from Cape Cod had gone off to enlist in the Continental Army, and in their absence the British had repeatedly landed raiding parties to harass the citizens.
THE CHINESE TYPEWRITER (1979) – It’s tough to remember the time before Tom Selleck was a tv megastar. His looks made him stand out and he had “future success” written all over him. He even showed he had a knack for comedy when he made two appearances on The Rockford Files as the annoyingly perfect and cliche-ridden detective Lance White. (“I’m okay, Jim. It’s just a flesh wound.”) 
With those writing and directing pedigrees behind the project you should have been able to smell several seasons, big money and some Emmy Awards in the offing. 
ROUND ONE: GAME ONE – The SOUTHEASTERN UNIVERSITY FIRE welcomed the REINHARDT UNIVERSITY EAGLES (should be Rottweilers). The Fire led 14-7 in the opening Quarter and 21-10 by Halftime. Neither team scored in the 3rd Quarter, but Reinhardt University mounted a fierce rally in the 4th. Southeastern University held on for a 24-22 victory. 
ROUND ONE: GAME TWO – A more lopsided affair was to be had in Oskaloosa, IA as the WILLIAM PENN UNIVERSITY STATESMEN played host to the TEXAS WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY RAMS. The 1st Half ended with the Statesmen out in front 21-3. After the break, William Penn U. outscored the Rams 17-6 to win the game 38-9.
ROUND ONE: GAME THREE – The UNIVERSITY OF ST. FRANCIS (IN) COUGARS took the field against the visiting EVANGEL UNIVERSITY VALOR. A 7-0 opening Quarter advantage for the Valor became a mere 10-7 edge come Halftime. The 3rd Quarter ended with the Cougars within 12-10, then in the 4th they came from behind for a 13-12 triumph. 
In the Zoroastrian version of the end times the Big Event will happen 3,000 years after Zoroaster/ Zarathustra introduced the world to the belief system that bears his name. For those who date Zoroaster’s birth to around 1,000 BCE that means the end could come any year now, but for those who date his birth closer to 600 BCE the world still has hundreds of years to go. 
MARVEL TEAM-UP Vol 1 #53 (Jan) 
The genetically engineered human/ animal hybrid creature Woodgod (at right) – also immune to the nerve gas – is still being contained in the depopulated town by Major Del Tremens and his troops at Tranquility Base, who caused the nerve gas leak. 
The SUSQUEHANNA UNIVERSITY RIVERHAWKS will host the WASHINGTON & JEFFERSON COLLEGE PRESIDENTS. 
The WHEATON COLLEGE THUNDER will host the CROWN COLLEGE POLARS. 
Balladeer's Blog 