Category Archives: Fantastic Movie Reviews


Elvis IS General Andrew Jackson at the Battle of New Orleans

Elvis IS General Andrew Jackson at the Battle of New Orleans

January 8th of each year always represents the general rift that separates American pop culture from alleged “high culture”. On the one hand it’s Elvis Presley’s birthday. On the other hand it’s also the anniversary of the Battle of New Orleans, in which General (and future President) Andrew Jackson teamed up with French pirate Jean Lafitte to hand the British their worst defeat in the War of 1812.

It’s not tough to guess which event gets more attention year in and year out, but cult director Eddie Wozniak took a break from the film world to write, produce and direct this musical comedy.

General Jackson as a one-man USO show for his battle-hardened troops

General Jackson as a one-man USO show for his battle-hardened troops

Rock’N’Roll vs the Redcoats is Wozniak’s hilarious but educational fusion of Elvis’ birthday with the martial anniversary. The musical comedy depicts the events of 1815 as they might have been depicted in an Elvis Presley movie with an actual Elvis impersonator in the lead role. So basically the star of Rock’N’Roll vs the Redcoats is a man playing Elvis Presley playing General Andrew Jackson. Continue reading



Filed under Fantastic Movie Reviews, humor


Obama Yelling

OBAMA: I usually just ignore black-on-black violence but dammit, even when a black cop shoots a black suspect I will ALWAYS promote violence against the cops!

My contempt for America’s Democrats and Republicans is not a secret. I was tempted to post a mock-news story today headlined EVERY DEMOCRAT AND REPUBLICAN ELECTED OFFICIAL DIES FROM MYSTERY DISEASE: NATION REJOICES. Instead I decided my review of the blaxploitation satire Funky Ferguson would be more appropriate. 

FUNKY FERGUSON (2014) – This was one  of the biggest money-makers of 2014. Funky Ferguson is the title character of this very dark satire which uses the style and structure of 1970’s blaxploitation films to comment on the horrific events in Ferguson, MO.

Hands Up Don't Shoot

*** *** *** *** *** Unidentified black men making with the ubiquitous new hand-signal which means “I have a very small penis.”

The events that spawned the whole “Hands up, don’t shoot” lie are depicted in disjointed and irreverent ways. The main character Funky Ferguson is in the mold of figures like the Black Baron from The Candy Tangerine Man. The Funky One keeps the streets safe for criminal elements and prevents law-abiding African-American business owners from fighting back against the thugs.

Funky Ferguson’s many triumphs over The Man mean nothing but hardship and personal tragedy for other African-Americans, who watch their children being killed by African-American criminals on a regular basis. Funky cares nothing for them or the “crapitalist” (as he calls them) business owners.

Gradually all of the promising young African-American children in Funky Ferguson’s hood wind up getting preyed upon and eventually killed by the brainless, violent black thugs who are the only kids worth caring about in the eyes of Funky Ferguson, the politicians and the media.  

An entire generation of creative and hopeful African-American children come and go, slain by street gangs like the film’s Gentle Giants, unmourned by a world that cares only for the plight of the sadistic criminals who killed them. Only those criminals are elevated and considered “heroic” by the demagogues of “the community”. Continue reading


Filed under Blaxploitation, Fantastic Movie Reviews, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES



One percenter Mark Cuban (actual size)

MARK CUBAN AS MIGHTY MOUSE (children) – The diminutive rich pig makes a public fool of himself once again, this time by performing in a live action version of the old cartoon show Mighty Mouse.

Tonight’s episode was even written by Cuban, a former Keebler elf, and is titled Big Money, Little Manhood. Supposedly it’s semi-autobiographical.    Continue reading

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Mars Attacks 2What’s Up, Muhammad could have worked as an alternate title of this film, which revives the grand old tradition of overdubbing a movie’s existing dialogue with comical new dialogue. What’s Up, Tiger Lily? (1966), Woody Allen’s overdubbing of a Japanese spy movie to make it a battle over an egg salad recipe, is still the best known of these ventures.

It was far from the first, however, and was preceded by Fractured Flickers (1963), a weekly television show in which celebrities would dub improvised comedic dialogue into old silent movies. Much later Mad Movies (1985) would feature its comedy talent from the L.A. Connection overdubbing movies from the 30s, 40s and 50s.

Mars Attacks 4

Or, as the film makes it, “Nothing to do with Islam, Nothing to do with Islam, Nothing to do with Islam …”

Not even serials were exempt from such treatment, with my favorite example being Firesign Theater’s production Hot Shorts (1984) featuring items like Sperm Bank Bandits in which the comedy team inserted comical dialogue into old serials like Canadian Mounties vs Atomic Invaders.

Other prime instances of overdubbing include What’s Up, Hideous Sun Demon (1983) with Jay Leno and other celebrities editing comical dialogue into the classically bad monster movie The Hideous Sun Demon and A Man Called … Rainbo (1990) in which the early Sylvester Stallone movie No Place to Hide was overdubbed to make it a comedic sendup of Sly’s Rambo movies. Even the original Night of the Living Dead has been given this treatment.    

Mars Attacks 3Enough background information! Islam Attacks features the Tim Burton movie Mars Attacks being overdubbed with hilariously dark comedy material which makes the story a look at the Western World’s weak and inept response to Muslim fanatics. The large heads of the Martian invaders are altered by CGI making them look like turbans in just one example of this film’s audacious attitude.    

Mars Attacks Loston Wallace

Art by Loston Wallace

If you recall, Burton’s Mars Attacks featured the government hilariously refusing to think the Martians had hostile intentions no matter how many acts of violence they committed. The Martians would even be shooting people to death while robotically saying “We come in peace.” Islam Attacks does just what you’d hope for and plays up how contemporary governments keep trying to downplay any hostile intentions from Islamist groups and shows them blasting people to death while saying “We are a religion of peace” over and over. Continue reading


Filed under Fantastic Movie Reviews, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES


Mascot FOUR original pics

Balladeer’s Blog

… BUT NAMES WILL NEVER HURT ME (Game Show) Liberals and Conservatives try to shame contestants into silence by calling them “babykillers” if they are pro-choice on abortion and calling them “racists” if they are pro-choice on Muhammad cartoons.

ALL AMERICAN HISTORY SHOW (Non-Fiction) America’s Left-Wing Archie Bunkers from the “academic” (LMFAO) world explain how America caused the previous ice age, the Black Plague, the capitalist system, the Crusades ,etc. Reasonable people who call in to point out America didn’t even exist as a nation yet for most of those events will be rudely shouted down.  Continue reading

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Rob Reiner

Rob Reiner’s character Meathead struggles to deal with the fact that his worldview is FIVE DECADES out of date.

All in the Family: The Next Generation, the brand-new sitcom from Glitternight Productions debuts tonight. Cult director Eddie Wozniak strikes again with this controversial update to the original 1970s series which blended the standard family sitcom format with a nearly Ibsenesque examination of social and political issues. 

Rob Reiner is back as Meathead aka Michael Stivic. This time around Stivic is the Archie Bunker-type character to reflect the way that Rob Reiner’s generation of self-infatuated 1960s fools have grown as stagnated in their thinking and as trapped in the past as was the original Archie Bunker generation. Continue reading


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The Burqa: A heroic woman fighting Muslim Apartheid and defending women's rights.

The Burqa: A heroic woman fighting Muslim Apartheid and defending women’s rights.

THE BURQA (2013) – The Burqa was THE action film of the year 2013. This movie had a daring premise, incredible stuntwork plus more killings and blood squibs than any three Quentin Tarantino movies put together. There was also an unforgettable performance by the lead actress, whose name is STILL being kept a secret over fears of violent reprisals from Islamist terrorist groups.

The film was set in 2013 Iraq. Our heroine,  known only as “The Burqa” emerges from the desert sands, clad in the outfit she is named for and with automatic weapons strapped to each of her sashaying thighs. Like Clint Eastwood’s Man With No Name and John Garko’s Holy Ghost, both from Spaghetti Westerns, the Burqa is an unstoppable gunslinger who litters the land with her fallen foemen.

The audience first meets the title figure when she saves a teenage Muslim girl from being raped and killed by Islamist fanatics for daring to dress in western clothing and to advocate abortion rights. Countless Continue reading

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