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BLACK ROSES (1988): FILM REVIEW

Black Roses 1BLACK ROSES (1988) – This legendarily laughable attempt at a horror film belongs to quite a few niche sub-genres. It’s a Canadian horror movie, it’s one of the wonderfully campy Heavy Metal Horror productions of the 1980s and most importantly for trivia lovers Black Roses is one of the Big Three Canadian turkeys to feature Frank Dietz in a supporting role. (The other two are Rock’N’Roll Nightmare and Zombie Nightmare. ) 

Dietz looked too young to be a police detective in Zombie Nightmare and he looks too OLD to be a high school student in Black Roses. But that’s part of his – and the movie’s – charm. He also plays one of the Black Roses in monster form during the film.

You want more kitsch-casting? How about Julie Adams of Creature From The Black Lagoon playing an elderly frump outraged over Heavy Metal’s supposed “Satanic” element?

How about noted musician Carmine Appice as Vinny Apache, one of the demonic members of the band Black Roses?

How about Vincent Pastore from The Sopranos as a Heavy Metal-hating parent who pays for that by getting mauled by a $1.49 spider-puppet AND getting sucked into a speaker playing Black Roses songs?  Continue reading →

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MARCH MADNESS SEES TWO MORE COLLEGE BASKETBALL CHAMPS CROWNED

NCAA DIV TWO

Ferris State BulldogsCHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The lone remaining 1 seed – the FERRIS STATE BULLDOGS – battled the 3rd seeded NORTHERN STATE WOLVES for the NCAA Division Two title.

A fierce, furious opening Half ended with the Bulldogs clinging to a 39-37 edge over the Wolves. The 2nd Half saw the two teams put up exactly 32 points each, as Ferris State won their first ever National Championship by a score of 71-69. Zach Hankins led the victors with his 19 points.  * THE BULLDOGS ARE CHAMPIONS OF NCAA DIVISION TWO * Continue reading →

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PANTHER’S RAGE ELEVEN: AND ALL OUR PAST DECADES HAVE SEEN REVOLUTIONS

VenommFOR PART ONE CLICK HERE  

JUNGLE ACTION Volume 2, Number 16 (July 1975)

XI. AND ALL OUR PAST DECADES HAVE SEEN REVOLUTIONS

Synopsis: The Black Panther has been back from his pursuit of Killmonger through Wakanda’s Hidden Realms for several days now. Thanks to the super-powers he has from the Panther Herbs AND to Wakanda’s advanced medical technology T’Challa has fully recovered from his wounds.

Salamander K’Ruel, the minion of Killmonger defeated by the Black Panther last time around, has been imprisoned in the Royal Palace just like Venomm, Malice, Baron Macabre and Lord Karnaj. T’Challa has brought all his advisors and his Royal Consort Monica Lynne up to date on everything that happened the previous four installments.

And allOur main character and Monica are frolicking on a beach at Twisted Visions Lake. They are swimming, riding giant trained turtles and having fun like consenting adults will have. Author Don McGregor has the two lovers exchange the kind of reasonably romantic dialogue that he would later have Sabre and Melissa Siren regularly spout to each other in his post-apocalyptic series titled Sabre. 

Meanwhile, back at the Royal Palace, Taku, T’Challa’s Chief of Communications Technology, is in the middle of one of his daily visits with Venomm/ Horatio Walters, one of Killmonger’s supervillain operatives. W’Kabi, the Security Chief, eventually sits in with them.

Wakanda's locationVenomm at last reveals how he – a white (but horribly disfigured) man from America – was brought to Wakanda by Killmonger. He talks about how N’Jadaka/ Killmonger had already recruited him as a follower years ago, even before he (Killmonger) gained an audience with the Black Panther at Avengers Mansion in New York City.   Continue reading →

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THE BANGLES: IN YOUR ROOM

Balladeer’s Blog’s Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead returns with a shoutout to the Bangles with their song In Your Room.

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MARCH MADNESS: NJCAA FINAL FOUR ACTION

NJCAA DIV ONE

Southern Idaho Golden EaglesFIRST SEMIFINAL – The 10 seeds – the COLLEGE OF SOUTHERN IDAHO GOLDEN EAGLES – set out to drag down the 3rd seeded VINCENNES UNIVERSITY TRAILBLAZERS in this game.

The Golden Eagles were pursuing the Trailblazers at Halftime as they trailed them 49-36. The College of Southern Idaho regrouped in the locker room and came out ready for action, outscoring Vincennes University 44-25 from there. The final tally was Golden Eagles 80  Trailblazers 74. Charles Jones, Jr led CSI with his 22 points. Continue reading →

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NJCAA FINAL FOUR AND MORE COLLEGE BASKETBALL ACTION

NJCAA DIV ONE

South Plains College Texans NEWFINAL FOUR: FIRST BERTH – This battle of Cinderellas pitted the 13th seeded SOUTH PLAINS COLLEGE TEXANS against the 12 seeds – the CONNORS STATE COWBOYS.

The Texans seemed in control of the game with a 50-32 lead at Halftime. After the break, however, the Cowboys came alive and South Plains College wound up having to fight to survive an 80-75 thriller. Christopher Orlina of the Texans notched a Double Double of 19 points and 13 rebounds.    

Vincennes University Trailblazers logo VFINAL FOUR: SECOND BERTH – Up next the 3 seeds – the VINCENNES UNIVERSITY TRAILBLAZERS – struck a blow for Chalk in their battle with the 6th seeded FLORIDA SOUTHWESTERN STATE BUCCANEERS.

By the break the Trailblazers held a 32-26 advantage over the Buccaneers. From there Vincennes University kept Florida Southwestern State at arm’s length the rest of the way, sneaking a bit more breathing room for a 76-68 triumph. Twenty-three points from Ty Gadsden led the Trailblazers.  Continue reading →

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SEASONAL MYTHS WITH THE SAME THEME

Persephone and pomegranateSpring keeps trying to arrive but this bitter winter refuses to give up just yet. Our nationwide longing to be liberated from the tyrannical grip of winter made this a good time to examine some of the ancient myths about winter and the coming of spring.

The celebration of those myths at this time of year plus the fact that many of those myths centered around dead and resurrected deities necessitated Christianity’s attempt to superimpose its OWN dead and resurrected deity over top of those older stories. Hence the celebration of Easter in springtime. (And it’s not just Christianity that behaved that way – other religions also would superimpose their own celebrations over top of those held in honor of the previously dominant gods in their region. I’ll cover the behavior of those other belief systems – especially Islam and the Incan faith – another time.)

Not all seasonal myths conformed to the following pattern. I’m limiting this list to the ones that did.

PERSEPHONE

Pantheon: Greek (The Romans called her Proserpine)

The Tale: Persephone was the beautiful daughter of the goddess Demeter (Ceres to the Romans). Persephone caught the eye of Hades, the god who ruled over the realm of the dead. Overcome with lust Hades (Pluto to the Romans) emerged from his subterranean domain and stole Persephone away to his realm to become his Queen.

The Savior: Demeter went searching for her daughter throughout the world, often assuming the form of a mortal woman. Her search wore on and on with no results, causing Demeter to fall more and more deeply into despair. Because she was the goddess of nature that despair manifested itself in colder weather, in the leaves falling off the trees, other vegetation dying and some animals hibernating or migrating to flee the cold. 

As this first winter wore on, human beings began praying to Demeter to restore the world’s greenery and the warmer temperatures of the past. In her overwhelming sadness at the loss of her daughter Demeter ignored those prayers, prompting humans to begin praying to the other gods to intercede on humanity’s behalf. At length Zeus, the sky god who ruled over all the gods in the Greek pantheon, realized that the only way to end Demeter’s despair and end the terrible winter was to find her daughter Persephone and reunite mother and daughter. Continue reading →

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SPIN DOCTORS: LITTLE MISS CAN’T BE WRONG

It’s another installment of Balladeer’s Blog’s Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead. This time the shoutout goes to the Spin Doctors with their song Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong.  If you look hard enough you can still find episodes of the science fiction series Dead at 21 online.

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NAIA COLLEGE BASKETBALL CHAMPS CROWNED, AND MORE

NAIA DIV ONE

Graceland U Yellow JacketsCHAMPIONSHIP GAME – Overtime was needed before a victor could be determined in the NAIA title game last night as the 5th seeded GRACELAND UNIVERSITY YELLOW JACKETS took on the 4 seeds – the LSU-ALEXANDRIA GENERALS.

The 1st Half ended with the Yellow Jackets on top of the Generals 36-28. After the break Graceland University put up exactly 36 points again while LSU-Alexandria scored 44 to end Regulation in a 72-72 tie. Continue reading →

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PANTHER’S RAGE TEN: THE FOREST OF THORNS

Forest of ThornsFOR PART ONE CLICK HERE  

JUNGLE ACTION Volume 2, Number 15 (May 1975)

X. THORNS IN THE FLESH, THORNS IN THE MIND

Synopsis: As this chapter of Panther’s Rage begins, we are in the Forest of Thorns, where the Black Panther has followed Killmonger, his army and his long train of caged dinosaurs which they captured in Serpent Valley. T’Challa’s need for rest after his exhausting and trying battle with the Tyrannosaurus Rex that Erik sicced on him added to the head-start which his enemy already had on him.

It is now a day or two later and our hero is deep into the Forest of Thorns. That forest is crowded to claustrophobic levels with nothing but thorned vegetation like trees, bushes, brambles, shrubs and even thorned leaves and fruits on the trees.

For literally millions of years the Forest of Thorns served as an impenetrable natural barrier which prevented Wakandans from penetrating into Serpent Valley along the gradual incline on which that forest lay.

The precipitous, Grand Canyonesque stone walls of the Chasm of Chilling Mist had always prevented foot traffic into Serpent Valley from that direction. Therefore even though the Forest of Thorns spread all the way up to the plateau on which rested Killmonger’s rebel capital of N’Jadaka, no one had ever used it as a downward route into Serpent Valley.  

Killmonger being Killmonger, he and his army were simply ramrodding their way through the Forest of Thorns with their machinery, sacrificing much of its natural beauty and leaving gaping pathways in their wake as they made the days-long ascent through this natural wonder.  

We join T’Challa as he has paused for a drink and to change the dressing on some of his wounds in the water of a stream which winds its way through the Forest of Thorns. Surreptitiously making their way toward the Black Panther with the intention of attacking him are a few of Killmonger’s soldiers plus their leader, Salamander K’Ruel.

Out of Erik’s most recent visit to Resurrection Altar back in the Land of the Chilling Mist, Salamander K’Ruel was the only one of Killmonger’s men to survive and gain superhuman powers from his exposure to the extraterrestrial rays of that Altar. The others, as usual, died agonizing deaths as their bodies were horribly mutated.

Salamander Kruel aims(Remember, as part of Killmonger’s callousness toward even his own followers he is content with those odds: gaining one super-powered minion per group of human guinea pigs, while the others in the group die painfully. Malice, King Cadaver and Sombre were the others who gained paranormal powers from Resurrection Altar while their fellow “offerings” died horribly.)

Salamander K’Ruel, as Erik christened him upon his survival of the ritual, grew raised, pimply sores all over his body and out of each of those sores his body hair continued to grow. Due to his mutation from the rays of Resurrection Altar, K’Ruel’s body hairs (except for those on his head) grew out of the sores as long, thin, needles.

Those long needles covered most of his body and not only served as a natural protection in close-quarters physical combat but could be shot from his body at will like porcupine quills. Salamander K’Ruel’s natural skin oils had mutated into toxic fluid which coated his needle-hairs/ quills and could either knock-out or kill anyone hit by his needle-hairs/ quills.

In addition, Salamander K’Ruel (easily the most whimsical Revolutionary Name that Killmonger bestowed on one of his followers) used a bow from which he fired Napalm-tipped arrows – years before Stallone in Rambo III and Mark Gregory in Thunder Warrior.    

At any rate, K’Ruel and his handful of soldiers were left behind by Erik/ N’Jadaka to kill T’Challa just in case he survived his battle with the Tyrannosaurus Rex. They now launch their attack on the Black Panther. Continue reading →

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