THE FLYING DOCTORS (1986-1992): FORGOTTEN TELEVISION

Flying DoctorsTHE FLYING DOCTORS – Not to be confused with The Teleporting Accountants or The Swimming Chiropractors this was a terrific Australian television series about the Royal Flying Doctor Service. The show was based on the real-life Royal Flying Doctor Service of Australia, a brilliantly-conceived non-profit outfit that provided medical care – both emergency AND maintenance – for people who had no other access to doctors due to their locations in remote, lightly-populated portions of the Outback.  

With its winning blend of doctors, nurses, life-or-death drama and beautiful Australian scenery this series should have been a NATURAL for crossover success here in the United States. Unfortunately that old t.v. executive excuse always applied to this and other Aussie programming: the belief that the accents would be too heavy for stateside audiences to make out the dialogue. Continue reading →

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL RANKINGS FROM BALLADEER’S BLOG

Florida Southern College MocsNCAA DIVISION TWO –   1. FLORIDA SOUTHERN COLLEGE MOCCASINS     ###      2. BELLARMINE UNIVERSITY KNIGHTS     ###      3. AUGUSTANA (SD) COLLEGE VIKINGS     ###      4. UNIVERSITY OF INDIANAPOLIS GREYHOUNDS     ###      5. BARRY UNIVERSITY BUCCANEERS      ###      

Lincoln Memorial University Railsplitters6. LINCOLN MEMORIAL UNIVERSITY RAILSPLITTERS     ###      7. MSU-MOORHEAD DRAGONS     ###      8. WEST LIBERTY STATE HILLTOPPERS     ###      9. TARLETON STATE TEXANS     ###      10. ANGELO STATE RAMS     ###       Continue reading →

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MORE I.S.L.A.M – INTOLERANT SAVAGES LOATHING ALL MODERNITY

THIS IS ISLAM

THIS IS ISLAM

I’m a non-believer but only the most cowardly hypocrites try to deny the fact that Islam is the most intolerant and violent religion in the world at this particular point in history. The savagely superstitious practitioners of that misogynistic, homophobic and irrational belief system attack freedom wherever they go and expect the civilized world to live according to their own barbaric and ridiculously outdated attitudes.

Muhammad

Muhammad

Only mindless fanatics would kill people for drawing pictures of their religion’s central figure, in Islam’s case an insane child rapist named Muhammad who died centuries ago. In Copenhagen at a Free Speech event a Muslim named Omar Abdel Hamid El-Hussein opened fire on the participants (I told you Islam hates freedom) and, following that murderous spree, opened fire on Jews celebrating a Bat-Mitzhah. (Muslims hate Jews even more than they hate freedom.)    

Marriage in the Islamic State

Marriage in the Islamic State

The Libyan branch of the Obama-spawned Islamic State beheaded 21 Coptic Christians because a) Muslim savages LOVE beheading people and b) if there are no Jews on hand then killing Christians is their idea of a good time. If there are only other Muslims around then they have fun by killing those Muslims who interpret the ridiculous Koran differently than they do. The important thing as a Muslim is to kill and kill and kill and kill. Creative, civilized behavior is for infidels. Continue reading →

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MARDI GRAS MASSACRE – (1978)

Mardi Gras MassacreMARDI GRAS MASSACRE (1978) – Category: A neglected Bad Movie classic, but its hard-core gore will prevent it from ever having a Plan 9-sized cult following

It takes a twisted sort of genius to make multiple disembowelment murders look boring, but that’s exactly what Jack Weis accomplishes in Mardi Gras Massacre! Today may be Fat Tuesday, but let’s rechristen it “Splat Tuesday” in honor of this late 70’s splatterfest. 

The actual “massacre” part of this movie is an incredible disappointment. An insane, hate-filled man with a Continue reading →

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THE HYPNOTIC EYE (1960) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Hypnotic EyeIn the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 …

Before MST3K there was The Texas 27 Film Vault! The 30th anniversary year of this neglected cult tv show continues with this look at another film shown and mocked by Film Vault Technicians First Class Randy Clower and Richard Malmos.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday April 12th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. 

Radar Men from the MoonSERIAL: Radar Men from the Moon was the current serial being shown. This episode of The Texas 27 Film Vault featured Chapter Nine titled Battle in the Stratosphere. During the 12 week run of this serial one of the behind the scenes crew (no one remembers who at this point) would dress as Commando Cody, the hero of the serial, and occassionally interact with Randy and Richard during the comedy sketches. 

FILM VAULT LORE: This was supposedly the favorite episode of the Film Vault Corp’s effects man Joe Riley, which is why he used the title The Hypnotic Eye for his post-T27FV television show, episodes of which are on Youtube.

Texas 27 Film Vault posterCOMEDY SKETCHES : This episode aired when Randy still “outranked” Richard in the Film Vault Corps and so their relationship often had the “Main Character and Abused Second Banana” vibe like with Zacherle and My Dear, or Dr Morgus and Chopsley or Dr Forester and TV’s Frank. (F-Troop fans might describe it as a “Sgt O’Rourke and Cpl Agarn vibe.”)

The Host Segments therefore featured Richard supposedly being subjected to the type of mutilation the hypnotized female victims in The Hypnotic Eye were inflicting on themselves. Joe Riley’s special effect of Richard’s hair being set on fire was as intentionally laughable as the effect in the movie itself.  

THE MOVIE:   Continue reading →

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MICHELLE OBAMA REPLACES NANCY REAGAN AS AMERICA’S WORST FIRST LADY EVER

Michelle "Bowser" Obama

Michelle “Bowser” Obama

For a different kind of President’s Day treat Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at a truly repulsive person who has managed to surpass the pompous, snobbish and callous Nancy Reagan to become America’s Worst First Lady Ever.

MICHELLE OBAMA – Bitter and hate-filled, this cosmically unlikeable figure has been stripped of her right to practice law just like her corrupt husband. Michelle is an overt racist whose loathing of everyone who is not an African-American is right out in the open for all to see.

Michelle is such a repulsive figure that when Barack was elected she was ill-mannered enough to say it was the first time she wasn’t ashamed of the country. Only a piece of absolute garbage would do this. It’s like being invited into someone’s house and telling them “This is the first time I’ve been in your house and it hasn’t stunk like an open sewer.”

Michelle Obama uglyMichelle Obama embodies the term “Redneck of Color” with her ignorance and her lack of social graces and we can all happily tell her she represents the first time we as a nation have had to be ashamed of our First Lady. Michelle, like Barack, is a beneficiary of Affirmative Action, which she admits in one of her anecdotes that she glories in telling, even though she gets it wrong.

She talks about how she was told her grades weren’t good enough to get into Princeton … yet she got in anyway because of minority set-asides established by those eeeevilll white people she hates so much. When Michelle tells this story she words it like it’s an “I showed them” story, as if it’s a personal triumph on her part.

Michelle Obama scowlUh, no, clueless little Michelle. It would be a personal triumph if the story concluded “… But I studied hard and raised my grades so that I got in ANYWAY!” It’s hilarious to see her tell this story repeatedly (it’s even on youtube) yet never realize what an asshole she comes off as. Continue reading →

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL RESULTS

* HEADLINES *

cobberleaningII%5B1%5DNUMBER TWO TAKES A FALL – The CONCORDIA (Moorhead) COBBERS welcomed the number 2 team in the nation – the UNIVERSITY OF SAINT THOMAS TOMMIES – on Saturday. The Cobbers faced a 40-31 deficit at Halftime but came back after the break to pull off the upset and hand the Tommies their second loss of the season. The final score was Cobbers 72  Tommies 66. Jordan Bolger led Concordia (Moorhead) with his 20 points and 9 rebounds as the team improved to 14-8.   

John Carroll Blue StreaksNUMBER THREE GETS TOPPLED, TOO – Meanwhile the JOHN CARROLL UNIVERSITY BLUE STREAKS took the court against the visiting 3rd ranked MARIETTA COLLEGE PIONEERS. By Halftime the Blue Streaks had seized a hard-fought 50-45 edge on their way to an 86-71 triumph. David Linane tossed in 30 points to lead John Carroll University. The Blue Streaks are now 17-5, the Pioneers 21-2.      Continue reading →

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U.S. PRESIDENTS: PROS AND CONS

Fun Fact: Barbara Bush patterned her “look” after Millard Fillmore

In honor of the President’s Day Holiday weekend Balladeer’s Blog will present some of my quick takes on each of the 44 men who have stayed one step ahead of the law while occupying the office.

1. GEORGE WASHINGTON – Motto – “Screw taking a salary as a General, just bill ’em outrageously for your expenses!”  *** Nickname: The First Lady of Broadway *** Pro: Established the precedent of stepping down after 2 terms max.  Con: Owned other human beings.

2. JOHN ADAMS – Motto – ” A day without alienating someone is like a day without sunshine.” *** Nickname: Boom-Boom *** Pro: Was almost fanatically honest.  Con: Alienated nearly everyone except his wife Abigail.

3. THOMAS JEFFERSON – Motto: ” What’s with that painting where I look like Bea Arthur?” *** Nickname: The Pompous Hypocrite *** Pro:  Continue reading →

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PULP HERO G-8 AND HIS BATTLE ACES: STORIES ONE HUNDRED-SIX TO ONE HUNDRED-EIGHT

G-8's final battle with Goulon!

G-8’s final battle with Goulon!

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its look at the neglected Pulp Hero G-8. This is a story-by- story look at the adventures of this World War One American fighter pilot who – along with his two wingmen the Battle Aces – took on various super-natural and super- scientific menaces thrown at the Allied Powers by the Central Powers of Germany, Austria- Hungary and the Ottoman Muslim Turks.

G-8 was created by Robert J Hogan in 1933 when World War One was still being called simply the World War or the Great War. Over the next eleven years Hogan wrote 110 stories featuring the adventures of G-8, the street-smart pug Nippy Weston and the brawny giant Bull Martin, his two Battle Aces.

Bombs from the Murder Wolves106. BOMBS FROM THE MURDER WOLVES (October 1943) – As the G-8 series nears its end get ready to meet an all-new addition to our hero’s Rogue’s Gallery of foes: Dr Marlott! This mad doctor has his secret laboratory in a swamp where he has been performing macabre experiments on human guinea pigs.

At long last he has succeeded in perfecting his ultimate goal: living “Suicide Men” mutated and shorn of all self-preservation instincts. These Suicide Men will coldly and unfeelingly carry out destructive attacks on the Allied forces, completely unmindful of any potential harm to themselves.

Dr Marlott’s creations are sent forth in conjunction with the Murder Wolves. Those Murder Wolves are larger-than normal Central Powers aircraft which carry huge red bombs with cockpits. The Suicide Men will make these red bombs the ultimate in “smart bombs” by literally piloting them toward Allied planes, making evasive maneuvers nearly hopeless and blowing themselves up along with their targets.

In a way you could say that with this story Robert J Hogan eerily anticipated the Japanese Kamikaze pilots of a few years later.   Continue reading →

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LATERS, BABY! I’M OFF TO SEE FIFTY SHADES OF FRIDAY THE 13th: JASON KILLS CHRISTIAN AND ANA

"I'm fifty shades of fucked up!"

“I’m fifty shades of fucked up!”

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