Awhile back I designated the 1940’s superhero the Black Condor as the Official Superhero of Balladeer’s Blog. I did that because of the character’s sheer awesome level of weirdness. Here’s another bit where I caption one of the covers from the Black Condor’s adventures in the appropriately named Crack Comics. For my original look at this hero’s goofiness click Continue reading
Category Archives: humor
MORE BLACK CONDOR CAPTIONING FUN
The 1940’s Black Condor (secret identity Senator Thomas Wright) has been serving as the Official Superhero of Balladeer’s Blog. I gave him that designation because of the sheer weirdness of his origin and the hilariously stupid secret behind his alter ego Senator Wright. Here’s another bit where I caption one of the covers from the Black Condor’s adventures in the appropriately named Crack Comics. For my original look at this hero’s goofiness click here: https://glitternight.com/2013/03/11/the-black-condor-the-official-superhero-of-balladeers-blog/
BLACK CONDOR: I’ve saved you, you poor little thing! Now to catch your brother over there and deliver the two of you to a nice safe hospital!
Filed under humor
BLACK CONDOR CAPTIONING FUN
Recently I made the 1940’s superhero the Black Condor the Official Superhero of Balladeer’s Blog because of his sheer goofiness. As a followup I’ll be providing mock captions for various Black Condor covers.
BLACK CONDOR: Make a wish before one of your arms gets torn off, you bastard! There will be NO climbing across laundry lines on MY watch!
Filed under humor
THE BLACK CONDOR: THE OFFICIAL SUPERHERO OF BALLADEER’S BLOG
Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog know that words like eccentric, oddball, offbeat, weird and damn crazy come to mind when describing me. So, that being the case the most appropriate superhero mascot for this site is the Black Condor.
That’s the Golden Age Black Condor, who debuted in 1940 and is now in the public domain, not the newer comic book characters going by that name. The original Black Condor appeals to me in the same way that bad movies do. Here are the six reasons why this figure has long been my favorite weirdass Golden Age superhero: Continue reading
Filed under humor
MOVIES NOT COMING SOON TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU
Hollywoodland
Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that is truly non-partisan in its criticism of those irrational zealots called Liberals and Conservatives. As I have often pointed out in the past there are no such things as right and wrong, there are simply things that a culture finds acceptable and things that a culture frowns upon. Six decades ago Hollywood films conformed to the tired Conservative cliches of Eisenhower’s America and earlier years. Today Hollywood films conform to the tired Liberal cliches of the Political Correctness Police.
In the 1950’s a movie depicting a gay (or black or female) character in the same positive way that the straight (or white or male) characters were depicted would be frowned upon. Today a Hollywood movie depicting a white, straight or (gasp) Christian character in the same positive way that the black, gay or Muslim characters are depicted would be frowned upon.
As always fringe filmmaking is where the courageous storytelling is to be found. The gutless, pandering Hollywood studios all make cookie- cutter movies lacking any sort of diversity in their worldview. Long ago it was uniformly mindless Conservative films being churned out by the dozens. In recent decades it’s been uniformly mindless Liberal films being churned out by the dozens. So let’s proceed with this light- hearted look at movies no Hollywood studio would touch today.
Not Coming Soon – THE CRIMSON IMAM – A heroic Muslim woman dons a red costume and mask, then takes to the streets of her Muslim community punishing men who physically abuse women in the name of the outdated dictates of their religion. Calling herself the Crimson Imam she becomes a nationwide role model and inspires a large-scale feminist movement within Islam. Eventually women and gay people are embraced by Islam, with female clergy and gay marriages commonplace and with abortion rights a new Muslim priority.
What You’d See Instead – THE CRIMSON NUN – A heroic Christian woman dons a red habit and mask, then takes to the streets of her Christian community punishing priests who molest children and Continue reading
Filed under Fantastic Movie Reviews, humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES
IF BARACK OBAMA HANDLED PEARL HARBOR
“Yeah, our Ambassador and others are dead, whatever. I’ve got a fundraiser in Las Vegas to get to! Just blame it on that Youtube video and see how that plays out.”
Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only Independent Voter site on the web that criticizes both Liberals and Conservatives equally. Even for a sleazy Chicago politician Barack Obama has been caught in an unending avalanche of lies from his campaign biography back in 2008 to all the outrageous untruths that have characterized his entire term in office. Last night even his usual shoeshine boy David Letterman pointed out what a liar Obama is and Jay Leno pointed out how Obama has crippled the American economy.
The weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama has told lie after lie after lie about the Benghazi affair, and this, along with his general “masochism as foreign policy” approach made me decide to run with a Balladeer’s Blog look at how this Democratic version of Richard Nixon might have handled the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941.
(For starters Obama would have been too busy with fundraisers and tentative spin doctoring to even address the nation until sometime around January 24th, 1942. And that’s being optimistic since he still refuses to face the press – even the pro-Obama press – over his lies about Benghazi)
My fellow Americans, I speak to you today as a special guest on the Fibber McGee and Molly radio show. I am addressing you this evening about the Continue reading
Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME WIFE CARRYING?
Fun Fact: Wife Carriers get more endorsement deals than NHL and WNBA players do.
Lance Armstrong has recently joined the heap of other disgraced athletes from around the world. Olympians, soccer players, football, basketball and baseball players all seem tainted by drugs, cheating, domestic violence and a wide range of other scandals. The world turns its lonely eyes to the sole remaining PURE sport … the beautiful game itself – Wife Carrying.
Wife Carrying is a bastion of honesty in a sports world that has been averting its eyes in shame for too long. As an organization Wife Carrying is more professionally run than the Continue reading
Filed under humor
FAQ’S ABOUT THE HOMOPHOBIC AND MISOGYNIST SAVAGERY OF THE MUSLIM WORLD
” Youtube videos are creations of the devil and have caused every act of Muslim violence going back for centuries!”
It’s your old buddy Balladeer, but you can just call me “the puppet of Jews” like Muslim fanatics do. With the barbaric and backward Muslim world proving yet again that it is incapable of coexisting with the modern world and with the weak and inept little man in the White House pretending Youtube videos justify killing people it seemed like a good time to address some Frequently Asked Questions about the hate-filled and blood-soaked religion called Islam’s latest attempts to intimidate people. So let’s look at a few FAQ’s about The Religion of Perpetual Outrage.
Q: Are you one of those cowardly non-believers who will only criticize Christianity while giving Islam a free pass?
A: No, I criticize all religions and regard them all as fascinating mythology that should never be taken literally. Muslims are the only ones who violently insist their religion should be above that sort of criticism.
Q: Isn’t it, like, mean ‘n’ stuff to criticize somebody’s religion?
A: No, it’s only rational to subject all of the world’s religions to criticism and satirical irreverence. Other religions, especially Christianity, have to put up with it on a daily basis and their practitioners may complain but they remain civilized and don’t kill anybody or burn down buildings or launch make- believe “spontaneous” riots over it. Islam and Islam alone reacts in this barbaric and unacceptable way which does nothing but make people despise Islam even more than they already do.
Q: Is it appropriate to grovelingly point out ad nauseum that not every man, woman and child who practices Islam is participating in this murderous rampage?
A: No. That is just an argument used by people trying to justify their own gutlessness. You’ll notice those same people don’t point out to Muslims that “not all Christians” or “not all Americans” made Youtube videos critical of Islam. Those spineless people only use such arguments to pretend they are taking a principled stance by siding with Islam. It helps them avoid facing up to how craven their behavior really is.
Q: What would it take to Continue reading
Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion
BALLADEER’S BLOG TURNS TWO YEARS OLD TODAY
Typical Balladeer’s Blog reader
Can you believe it’s been two years already? Balladeer’s Blog has been satisfying the world’s appetite for bad movies, neglected mythology, ancient Greek comedies, forgotten television and college sports since June 21st of 2010. Just one of the highlights of that period has been a shoutout from international sex symbol Teddi Barrett (see photo). For more about Teddi click here: https://glitternight.com/2012/05/20/world-famous-sex-symbol-teddi-barrett-loves-balladeers-blog/
During last year’s college football season (October 8th to be precise) I reached my highest single- day hit total with 12,577 visits. My most popular individual bad movie review of this 2nd year on the web was Continue reading
Filed under humor
1ST ANNIVERSARY OF BIN LADEN GETTING FLUSHED
Rats get killed, cockroaches get killed, and Bin Laden got killed. One year after the death of this utter failure and rabid animal I figured what better time to repost one of my most popular comedy bits from last year. I posted an article joking about the possibility of Bin Laden’s wives getting their own reality show. Here it is again, complete with the Continue reading
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