Monthly Archives: August 2015

LIBERALS & CONSERVATIVES & INTELLIGENCE

Liberals conservatives

When you learn to look beyond the now-meaningless words “liberal” and “conservative” …

Just as American Conservatives have hopelessly politicized the word “patriot” to the point where it’s meaningless, American Liberals have hopelessly politicized the word “intellectual” to the point where it is meaningless, too. Conservatives will describe someone as a “patriot” IF that person mindlessly agrees with all their political views. Liberals will describe someone as an “intellectual” IF that person mindlessly agrees with all their political views.

In reality neither American Conservatives nor American Liberals are in any way fit to bestow labels like patriot and intellectual on anyone NOR are they fit to strip away such labels. Liberals are hilarious the way they pretend that even semi-literate movie stars and singers are “intellectual” as long as they unquestioningly spout Liberal dogma. American Liberals simultaneously pretend that even people who have multiple degrees are “dumb” if they hold opinions that the mindless conformists of liberalism disagree with.

Take for instance George Clooney. He dropped out of college but because he zealously spouts nothing but liberal talking points the American Left considers him “intellectual”. On the other hand if he was a Hollywood celebrity who dropped out of college and who expressed opinions that American Liberals disagree with he would be mocked and ridiculed as “an uneducated white American”.

American Liberals are Continue reading

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM AUGUST 22nd

No matter what ESPN says THIS was opening weekend for the 2015 College Football Season for plenty of 4-year and 2-year schools.

NAIA * 

Dickinson State Blue Hawks helmet NEWBLUE HAWKS RESURGENT? – Everyone has been pointing to this as the season that the DICKINSON STATE BLUE HAWKS return to gridiron prominence. There’s a long way to go of course but at least the Blue Hawks got their 2015 campaign started on a triumphant note, defeating the visiting MONTANA STATE- NORTHERN LIGHTS in a very entertaining 17-7 battle.  

Edward Waters Tigers helmetMAIM CANADA – The EDWARD WATERS (FL) TIGERS welcomed Canada’s LANGARA COLLEGE FALCONS but left their guests questioning their lives. The Tigers dominated the team from Vancouver on both sides of the ball, folding, spindling and mutilating the hapless Falcons to the tune of SEVENTY-SIX to SEVEN!  Continue reading

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BAYBAYAN: PHILIPPINE EPIC MYTH

Philippines Baybayan 1In the past Balladeer’s Blog has examined neglected epic myths from around the world. From Vietnam I dealt with A War Between Gods, from the Navajo pantheon I explored the saga of the war god Nayanazgeni battling the dark gods called the Anaye and I even examined the Dinka people’s epic about Aiwel Longar.

Epics from Inuit, Iroquois, Chinese, Korean and Bunyoro myths were also tackled.   

This time around I move on to the Philippines for a look at the epic myth of the demigod named Baybayan.

BAYBAYAN

This enjoyable and often action-packed tale comes from the Bukidnon people of the Philippine island of Mindanao. This story fuses native Bukidnon beliefs with elements of Vietnamese, Christian and Muslim myths.   

Baybayan’s mother, whose real name was considered too sacred to share with non-Bukidnons, was a beautiful and virtuous mortal woman. In Philippine myths the gods in Skyland found Earth women to be more beautiful than the goddeses in their celestial homeland. One of those gods frequently visited Baybayan’s mother in her dreams and had sex with her. (Exact godly parentage was never an obsession in Philippine or Vietnamese myths. It was enough to just refer to a hero as “the child of a god and a mortal woman.”) Continue reading

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NJCAA FOOTBALL PRESEASON POLL FROM BALLADEER’S BLOG

Another of my Preseason Polls as the 2015 college football season kicks off tonight, at least in the divisions covered here at Balladeer’s Blog.

Iowa Western CollegeNJCAA – 1. IOWA WESTERN COLLEGE REIVERS      ###      2. EAST MISSISSIPPI LIONS      ###      3. ARIZONA WESTERN COLLEGE MATADORS      ###      4. TRINITY VALLEY CARDINALS      ###      5. HUTCHINSON COLLEGE BLUE DRAGONS      ###       Continue reading

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GIANT FROM THE UNKNOWN (1958) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Giant from the UnknownBefore MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault!

In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class hosted this neglected cult show.

Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of the program’s THIRTIETH  anniversary year.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday June 8th, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Phantom EmpireSERIAL: Before showing and mocking Giant From the Unknown our members of the Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) showed and mocked an episode of the Mascot Serial The Phantom Empire (1935). 

In that classically campy serial Gene Autry played a singing cowboy who saves the world from  an  advanced underground civilization that comes complete with killer robots who wear cowboy hats.

HOST SEGMENTS/ COMEDY SKETCHES: A handful of Texas 27 Film Vault fans have insisted this is the episode with the comedy sketch where Randy was dressed in a Conquistador outfit. That renowned sketch required a record number of takes since Randy and Richard had shown up for filming after “a very substantial Happy Hour” as Randy put it in my exclusive interview with him.

Giant from the Unknown 2The Conquistador outfit would tie in with the movie Giant From the Unknown so it is definitely possible that this was the week that sketch was performed. However Randy has repeatedly said the sketches did not necessarily always parallel the night’s movie, so we cannot yet be sure. Randy did not recall if the sketch was done for this movie or not. 

THE MOVIE: Giant From the Unknown has been loved by fans of bad movies for decades as the only 1950’s monster movie in which a giant Conquistador comes out of 500 years of suspended animation and goes on a killing spree in California. Hey, at least it was a change of pace from big bugs, aliens and Commies.   Continue reading

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ISLAMIC FORCES PRAY BEFORE AND AFTER RAPING NON-MUSLIM WOMEN

Islam and priorities

ISLAM

The New York Times reported this week that the forces of the Islamic State, spawned by Barack Obama’s premature withdrawal from Iraq, consider the raping of non-Muslim women to be so thoroughly in accord with the Koran that they have taken to praying before and after committing those rapes.

In fundamentalist Muslim teachings the Koran “condones and encourages” raping women, just like Islam’s “perfect man” Muhammad. That blood-soaked lunatic even raped children.

As a non-believer in ANY religion I can’t help but notice that Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Wiccans, etc are never the ones behaving this way in large numbers at this particular point in history.     Just Muslims.     Decade after decade, century after century this demented faith retards the rest of the world’s social progress and fosters barbarism.     Continue reading

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D3 FOOTBALL TOP 25

The divisions covered here kick off the 2015 season this Friday, August 21st! Here’s another of my preseason Top 25 lists.

Whitewater Warhawks helmet newD3 – 1. UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN AT WHITEWATER WARHAWKS (Defending Champions)      ###      2. UNIVERSITY OF MOUNT UNION PURPLE RAIDERS      ###      3. UNIVERSITY OF MARY HARDIN- BAYLOR CRUSADERS      ###      4. LINFIELD COLLEGE WILDCATS      ###      5. WARTBURG UNIVERSITY KNIGHTS      ###       Continue reading

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R100 (2013): A JAPANESE CULT FILM

R100R100 (2013) The title means “Restricted for everyone under 100 years of age.” But that’s meant tongue-in- cheekly. Trust me, this is a J-film  that doesn’t compromise yet still won’t gross out more mild viewers.

It’s no secret that the Japanese churn out some of the most watchably weird movies in the entire world. Trouble is it’s often hard to get a lot of cinephiles to share these little gems with you because some people can’t stomach movies featuring grotesque bodily modifications, tentacled creatures committing rape or people eating aborted fetuses like dumplings.  

Even those people will be able to sit all the way through R100. This little honey is largely a conceptual assault instead of a parade of gore, and is actually milder than most R-rated horror films these days.

In fact the movie has more in common with horror than erotica despite its joyously off-kilter premise. That premise: a middle-aged Japanese salesman named Katayama signs a contract with a worldwide S&M business. That contract permits them to have their black-clad, whip-wielding beauties turn up at any time they please to smack around, kick and humiliate the protagonist. Continue reading

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D2 FOOTBALL TOP 25 FROM BALLADEER’S BLOG

The divisions covered here kick off the 2015 season this Friday, August 21st! Here’s another of my preseason Top 25 lists.

CSU-PuebloNCAA D2 – 1. COLORADO STATE UNIVERSITY AT PUEBLO THUNDER WOLVES (Defending Champions)      ###      2. MINNESOTA STATE MAVERICKS      ###      3. NORTHWEST MISSOURI STATE BEARCATS      ###      4. UNIVERSITY OF WEST GEORGIA WOLVES      ###      5. UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA AT DULUTH BULLDOGS      ###       Continue reading

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THE MUMMY AND THE CURSE OF THE JACKALS (1969)

Mummy and the Curse of the JackalsBy request here’s an encore presentation of one of my most popular reviews of a bad movie.

THE MUMMY AND THE CURSE OF THE JACKALS (1969) – Category:A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following     Depending on which film book you read this movie either did or did not have any theatrical release but thankfully it’s available on video. Part of the bad movie fun is provided by how poorly lit some scenes are, even though that prevents us from getting better looks at 1960’s Las Vegas, where the story takes place. In this film Anthony Eisley portrays an archaeologist who, hilariously enough, can’t pronounce the word “archaeological” (he says “arkological”). He also refuses to clean the cobwebs out of his house for some reason, which can be pretty distracting in some scenes.

Like an idiot, he willingly brings the title “curse” upon himself and begins nocturnal transformations into a were-jackal so goofy looking he could pass for the mascot of a sports team. And check out Eisley’s pasty-white neck skin showing under the awkward jackal mask he’s wearing on his face. Eventually Eisley finds himself vying with the fattest mummy in human memory for the affections of an undead Egyptian Princess named Acana. 

Said mummy (who is so bulky you could swear they’ve got Tor Johnson wrapped up in those bandages) has a face that looks like a cross between Popeye the sailor man and the Toxic Avenger. Said Princess is under orders from the goddess Isis herself (in a joyously demented cameo appearance) to revive the worship of the ancient deities and provide them a home and a temple in the Mojave Desert.

Other characters include Eisley’s bland friend Bob and Bob’s blander girlfriend Donna, plus the man who may have appeared in more movies than Bronson Canyon itself, John Carradine, who plays Eisley’s one-time mentor. Continue reading

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