Tag Archives: Rise of Skywalker

VITO GESUALDI: MOVIE AND GAME CRITIC EXTRAORDINAIRE

masc chair and bottleRegular readers of Balladeer’s Blog are familiar with my fondness for laughably bad movies. Vito Gesualdi at YT is one of the funniest and most irreverent critics to be found. I would recommend any of his reviews but for newbies I can tell you he does what may be THE funniest takedown of the disastrous Rise of Skywalker.

Because that review is over an hour long here is his much shorter review of the virtually worthless COMPANION BOOK to the Disney Sequel Trilogy. If you like it, you can watch Vito’s Rise of Skywalker review HERE  

5 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies

RISE OF SKYWALKER RUMOR: REY WAS CLONED FROM LUKE’S SEVERED HAND

Luke and ReyEven people who hate the way the soulless Disney Corporation has damaged the Star Wars franchise have been letting me know how excited they are about this particular rumor. Word has it that J.J. Abrams and possibly George Lucas have come up with a way of rising from the ruins of Rian “Man-Baby” Johnson’s ineptly directed and poorly written Last Jedi AND make Rey less of a Mary Sue.

How will they do all that? Supposedly by showing that Rey was cloned from Luke’s severed hand from The Empire Strikes Back. (See link below) Though it sounds ludicrous, this would actually undo Rian Johnson’s mangling of many story elements Abrams tried to set him up with in The Force Awakens.

I’m at the most only a casual Star Wars fan, so I’m not that invested in the fate of the franchise or any of its mishandled characters but even I can see how this rumor – if true – could successfully retcon the wreckage left behind by Rian Johnson.

masc graveyard new*** Maz, the collector of Force Relics, had Luke’s light saber that fell with his severed hand in Empire. Remember her saying in The Force Awakens that how she got it is “a story for another time?” Whoever she got it from may have used tissue samples from Luke’s hand to create the Rey clone.

*** This would also explain Rey’s bizarrely unlikely familiarity with the Millenium Falcon, the way Luke’s old light saber “called to her” in TFA, and the shadowy memories she experienced when touching the saber in that movie.

*** That theory would also go a long way toward pleasing fans and non-fans alike regarding the way Rey needed no training to do Jedi Mind Tricks or to expertly wield a light saber in her first appearance. If she was cloned from Luke’s genetic material she’d have built-in Force talents. Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies