Unfortunately, Dolly Parton, singer and movie starlet, has passed away. Here’s my review of her film with James Woods.
STRAIGHT TALK (1992)
Dolly’s Role: Shirlee Kenyon
James’s Role: Jack Russell
Comment: James Woods as the leading man in a romantic comedy? With Dolly Parton as his love interest? Believe it or not this Lady of Many Talents and the Man of a Thousand Personae even pull off THIS! Continue reading
Filed under opinion
EDDIE L. DRISCOLL played several different Movie Host characters during his THIRTY-THREE years working at the same television station – WLBZ Channel 2 in Bangor, Maine. That Maine location made Driscoll’s characters the Movie Hosts that a certain horror author had watched in his youth (see below). Eddie’s shows aired throughout Maine and into Canada’s Maritime Provinces.
I’ll dive into the hosts played by Driscoll in a moment, but first I want to emphasize how the man embodied the kind of local television station figures who just don’t exist anymore. Eddie started work for Channel 2 the day that the station began broadcasting in 1954.
Over the years, he worked there as a cameraman, weather man, kiddie show host and much more. He retired from WLBZ in 1987. His Movie Host characters:
MOLDY – This figure was a one-eyed hunchback who hosted Shock Theatre from a moldy old crypt on Saturday nights at Midnight. As Moldy, Driscoll presented the original Shock! package of horror movies from Fall 1962 until some point in 1963.
UNCLE GORY – From 1964 to 1967 Eddie hosted his new Saturday night at Midnight show titled Weird. On this Bad Movie Show he played Uncle Gory, a Dungeon Master in a fur vest and a mop-top wig. Uncle Gory hosted from his dungeon with a human skull displayed on a slab near him. He presented each week’s movie like it was a story coming to life from a book he was reading aloud.
Weird was firmly in the So Bad They’re Good school of Movie Hosting. Driscoll got to show off his sarcasm on Golden Turkeys from the 30s, 40s and 50s. Sci-Fi schlockers like Not of this Earth were also shown on Weird and on those nights Eddie’s versatility let him host those flicks as Krandal the Martian, a three-eyed alien from the Red Planet. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts
FOR PART ONE CLICK HERE. PART TWO HERE. PART THREE HERE. PART FOUR HERE. PART FIVE HERE. PART SIX HERE.
PART SEVEN – Picking up where we left off, Ofe the chief conspirator in the murder of Ozidi the Elder had cowardly fled once again rather than face the avenging son Ozidi the Younger in combat. Ozidi’s grandmother Oreame cast spells to flush out Ofe no matter where he was hidden.
Ofe’s magic had let him hide underneath the ground itself and he now involuntarily sprang upward from that hiding spot and stood face to face with Ozidi the Younger. With the eyes of everyone living in Orua on the combatants, Ofe had no choice but to at long last stand his ground and face his fate.
Ozidi advanced, wielding his sword made of lightning while his musicians played and sang his glories. Though Ofe was a coward he possessed powerful magic and fought Ozidi to a draw.
As the hours passed, our hero at last got past the defenses of Ofe’s own mystical weaponry and prepared to deliver the death blow. Ozidi’s lightning sword sliced his foe’s body in half at the waist. Continue reading
Filed under Mythology
JOHNNY COOL (1963) – Okay, this weekend I once again met someone who never heard of this film, so I resolved to do what little I could to spread the word about it by reviewing it here on Balladeer’s Blog.
Even among cult films, Johnny Cool has a certain prestige. It was released in October 1963 – the month before President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Peter Lawford, JFK’s brother-in-law and Rat Pack member was a co-producer and got fellow Rat Pack figures Sammy Davis, Jr. and Joey Bishop to appear in the movie.
Sammy was still wearing his pre-glass eye eyepatch in the film and also sang the movie’s title song. There’s a boatload more kitsch casting in Johnny Cool, which I’ll cover as we go along.
Our story begins in Italy, where aspiring young Sicilian hoodlum Salvatore Giordano (THE Henry Silva) is rescued from the police by former American Mafia bigwig Johnny Colini (Marc Lawrence himself). Like the real-life gangster boss Lucky Luciano, Colini was arrested and deported to Sicily after getting sold out by his organized crime rivals and allies back in the States.
Colini mentors the violent diamond-in-the-rough Giordano and grooms him into an instrument of revenge for himself against his enemies in America. When the homicidal prodigy is polished and ready, Colini rechristens him Johnny Cool and sends him to the U.S. to settle accounts. Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, opinion
With college football kicking off in the divisions covered here at Balladeer’s Blog in just a few days, here’s something I haven’t done in years – a look at football helmets for some very obscure teams.
MINERSVILLE
Team Name: BATTLIN’ MINERS
Comment: This team name begs the question “Is there also a team called the Minin’ Battlers?”
*** Continue reading
Filed under Cool Helmets
Full title: THE REV. JOHN SMITH DIED – AND WENT TO JUPITER VIA HELL (1908) – This bizarre but memorable work was published by the Juno Society of the time and was written by an anonymous author. The title clergyman passes away and finds himself in Hell – not forever, but as an ambassador to Jupiter.
Before he can be sent to that interplanetary posting Smith must witness the horrors of Hell. In this odd tale the ruler of Hell is a woman named Satinita the Sexless Queen. She first shows him how many fellow clergymen are in Hell for eternal punishment.
After that, Satinita takes Rev. Smith on a tour of New York City’s Red Light District, bars, illegal casinos … and the Stock Exchange. Following this ham-fisted attempt at satire, Smith is dropped off on Jupiter as a guest of the planet’s Omu Family.
The family members become his guide to life on Jupiter, where everyone is ruled by a being called the Unity. There is one planet-wide language, and that’s just the beginning. Continue reading
Filed under Ancient Science Fiction
Hollywood legend Burt Lancaster starred in several big-name films. Early in his career he played the hero in a few swashbuckler movies.
THE FLAME AND THE ARROW (1950) – In 1100s Lombardy, evil Count Ulrich (Frank Allenby) rules on behalf of Emperor Frederick the First. Ulrich abuses his power and even takes the unfaithful wife of Dardo Bartoli (Burt Lancaster) into his own court as one of his mistresses. This drives archer and swordsman Dardo into opposition against him.
One day Dardo shows off by shooting Count Ulrich’s prized hunting hawk out of the sky with an arrow. The Count has his men try capturing our hero, but his son Rudi helps him escape only to wind up a prisoner in Ulrich’s household where he is reunited with his mother.
Dardo now goes all out against the Count, leading rebels both high born and low in Robin Hood style banditry against Ulrich from an old Roman fortress in the hills. At one point Dardo and his allies abduct Count Ulrich’s niece Anne (Virginia Mayo) in hopes of exchanging her for Rudi. The Count instead captures Dardo’s father and several other villagers, threatening to kill them all unless the rebel and outlaw surrenders. Continue reading
Filed under opinion
THE OLD LADY OF NIGHTMARE ALLEY was the character who hosted the film show Nightmare! on KTLA in Los Angeles. She was played by the elderly actress Ottola Nesmith, who started in Silent Films in 1915 and appeared in over 100 movies, including Invisible Ghost with Bela Lugosi.
Nightmare! ran from October 1st, 1957 to October 7th, 1958. KTLA aired the program Tuesday nights at 9:30pm and produced 53 episodes. The show’s director was Loring d’Usseau, one of Nesmith’s sons, who was surprised to learn he would be directing his own mother (see below right).
Ottola’s Movie Hostess character The Old Lady eschewed the sex appeal approach of predecessors like Vampira and instead employed a memorable gimmick, albeit one which once got herself and KTLA in legal trouble.
The Old Lady was a deranged woman who claimed to be a fallen movie starlet living in a tiny apartment on Nightmare Alley with only her victrola and doll Boris to keep her company. She was like Sunset Boulevard‘s Norma Desmond on steroids and also had qualities of the Arsenic and Old Lace murderesses as well as the future Baby Jane.
(Yet the Los Angeles Times called her “pixielike.”) Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts
FOR PART ONE CLICK HERE. FOR PART TWO CLICK HERE. FOR PART THREE CLICK HERE. FOR PART FOUR CLICK HERE. FOR PART FIVE CLICK HERE.
PART SIX – Corresponding with the one-day hiatus from the story tellers and singers performing the Ozidi Epic, our hero has been sleeping after slaying Badoba. Tall Badoba was the latest of his father’s killers to meet their end at the hands of Ozidi the Younger. Only the leader of the murderers remained – Ofe.
At the end of the previous installment, cowardly and treacherous Ofe had fled Orua in hopes of escaping Ozidi’s wrath. Overnight, however, he realized that Ozidi would never abandon his revenge quest because he had to slay every single one of his father’s killers in order to free Ozidi the Elder’s spirit from the deadlands limbo in which it was imprisoned.
Ofe glumly returned to Orua and sought shelter in his home. Meanwhile, at the home of Ozidi’s uncle King Temugedege, the mentally unfit ruler installed as a puppet by the murderers of Ozidi the Elder, it was time for Ozidi the Younger to wake up.
Our hero’s mother Orea and his sorceress grandmother Oreame fed him breakfast until he was full. Then it was time once again to go into action, so Ozidi reached down his throat and pulled out of his mouth his sword made of lightning, his battle clothing, his musicians and attendants plus his spear and other weapons. He pulled out his monkey and lizard, too.
As Ozidi walked Ado, the capitol of Orua, the people all grabbed their children and fled into the jungle to avoid being caught in the fallout of the battle between Ozidi and Ofe. Continue reading
Filed under Mythology
THE NEW ODD COUPLE (1982-1983) – This sitcom was a reboot of the 1970-1975 series, now starring former Barney Miller co-star Ron Glass as obsessively tidy photographer Felix Unger and former Sanford & Son co-star Demond Wilson as pathologically sloppy sports reporter Oscar Madison. Coincidentally, Glass had made guest appearances on two Sanford & Son episodes in the 1970s.
John Schuck played Murray the Cop, Bart Braverman was Roy and Christopher Joy was Speed. The Pigeon Sisters were portrayed by Sheila Anderson and Ronalda Douglas.
Due to a writer’s strike at the time, eight episodes of The New Odd Couple were flat-out remakes of original Odd Couple installments. That prevented the new series from developing its own way and contributed to falling ratings and the show’s cancellation after just 18 episodes.
THOSE EPISODES:
THE IDES OF APRIL (Oct 29th, 1982) – Felix must go down to the IRS office to correct a computer error. While there, he accidentally lets slip Oscar’s tax cheating. Oscar gets audited, but Felix manages to get his roommate through the ordeal successfully. ESTHER ROLLE guest starred.
THE HUSTLER (Nov 5th) – Oscar helps Felix raise money for his amateur theater troupe via a Casino Night party. It’s a success, but then Oscar risks losing all the winnings playing pool against a hustler. It was Trivia Heaven for viewers as guest stars included Al Molinaro (the original Murray the Cop), Florida Friebus playing her Bob Newhart Show character Mrs. Bakerman, Ian Wolfe as Mr. Bakerman and Ben Powers from The Jeffersons as Side Pocket Sidney. Continue reading
Filed under Forgotten Television
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