FORGOTTEN TELEVISION – LANCELOT LINK: SECRET CHIMP (1970-1971)

LANCELOT LINK: SECRET CHIMP (1970-1971) – From Sandler-Burns-Marmer Productions came this fun children’s show that presented trained chimps in a spoof of secret agent stories. Dialogue was dubbed in over the usual twitchy mouth movements of chimpanzees to attempt the illusion that the “performers” were speaking.

The program presented a Good Guy Spy Outfit vs Bad Guy Spy Outfit situation like UNCLE vs THRUSH, SHIELD vs HYDRA, etc, but mostly Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp was based on the spy comedy Get Smart. That show’s villainous Bernie Kopell even voice acted for some of the bad guy characters.

Lancelot Link was a secret agent for A.P.E. (Agency to Prevent Evil), the heroic spies who opposed the agents of C.H.U.M.P. (Criminal Headquarters for Underworld Master Plan). Lance’s cover was that he was a guitarist and singer for a bubblegum pop band called the Evolution Revolution. His fellow agent Mata Hairi was also in the band along with other chimps, and novelty songs credited to the group were released in the real world. 

Lance and Mata’s boss at A.P.E. was Commander Darwin, setting up jokes like “What’s your theory, Darwin?” In charge of C.H.U.M.P. was the monocle wearing Baron Von Butcher. The Baron’s underlings included Dragon Woman, Creto, Dr. Strangemind, Wang Fu, the Duchess and Ali Assa Seen.

The chimpanzee thespians wore a variety of outfits and drove miniature cars & motorcycles. The series ran for 17 episodes. In Season One, those episodes filled a 1-hour time slot because old cartoons served as filler between the Lancelot Link stories. Season Two consisted of reruns of the same 17 episodes pared down to a half-hour time slot by editing out the cartoons and showing just the A.P.E. vs C.H.U.M.P. tales and the Evolution Revolution songs. 

Each episode featured two Lancelot Link stories.

ONE – THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE SNOW BUSINESS, PARTS 1 & 2: Lance and Mata are assigned to stop C.H.U.M.P. agents from stealing the multi-million-dollar Star of Karachi Diamond at the Big Mountain Ski Resort.

TWO – THE LONE APE: Out west, Lance and Mata thwart C.H.U.M.P.’s network of chicken rustlers called the Banana Bunch. *** MISSILE BEACH PARTY: Baron Von Butcher has mad scientist Dr. Strangemind launching missiles at the beach.   

THREE – THE MYSTERIOUS MOTORCYCLE MENACE: C.H.U.M.P. has a motorcycle gang consisting of their agents robbing A.P.E. payroll money. *** THE GREAT BEAUTY CONTEST: A beauty contest participant wants to defect to America from her oppressive homeland, but the Baron and his agents try to stop her.

FOUR – C.H.U.M.P. TAKES A HOLIDAY: Lance and Mata accidentally check into a hotel which is being used for the annual convention of C.H.U.M.P. *** TO TELL THE TOOTH: An agent for the villains is a dentist who implants a listening device into the tooth of a general.

FIVE – THE GREAT BRAIN DRAIN – Dr. Strangemind unleashes his latest chemical formula which makes drinkers regress to the mental state of children. *** THE GREAT DOUBLE DOUBLE CROSS: Baron Von Butcher and Dragon Woman impersonate Lance and Mata to infiltrate A.P.E.

SIX – LANCE OF ARABIA: An A.P.E. agent posing as an archeologist in the Middle East falls into the hands of the villains and it’s up to Lance and Mata to save him. *** THE DOCTOR GOES APE: Lance and Mata go undercover as doctors to try stealing microfilm containing vital C.H.U.M.P. secrets.

SEVEN – THE SURFIN’ SPY: Lance goes undercover as a surfer and lifeguard to figure out how Dragon Woman and Wang Fu are smuggling silver into the country. *** THE MISSING LINK: When Lance’s uncle goes missing he and Mata search for him.

EIGHT – BONAN(Z)A: The Baron is using a Dude Ranch as a base for his latest master plan, so our heroes pose as guests to bring it down. *** THE GREATEST CHASE IN THE WORLD: Spyjinx result as A.P.E. agents pursue their C.H.U.M.P. counterparts around the world.

NINE – THE RELUCTANT ROBOT: Dr. Strangemind sends a robot assassin to kill Lance. *** THE ROYAL FOIL: Mata and Lance are assigned to protect a foreign head of state who is in the country for delicate surgery.

TEN – THE GREAT, GREAT RACE: Our two competing spy agencies engage in an auto race. *** THE GREAT PLANE PLOT: Undercover stewardess Mata must stop Dragon Woman from kidnapping a foreign dignitary.

ELEVEN – LANDLUBBER LANCE: Dragon Woman tries nabbing Commander Darwin and getting him out of the country on her yacht. *** THE TEMPORARY THANKSGIVING TURKEY TRUCE: Lance and Mata have the Baron and Dr. Strangemind over for Thanksgiving dinner, but a microfilm caper complicates things.

TWELVE – THE DREADED HONG KONG SNEEZE: C.H.U.M.P. wants to unleash germ warfare on the world via the Hong Kong Sneeze Disease. *** THE GREAT BANK ROBBERY: Lance sets out to steal back the funds taken in a bank robbery.

THIRTEEN – THE SOUR TASTE OF SUCCESS: Microfilm hidden inside a lemon must be located. *** THE BARON’S BIRTHDAY BALL: Helpless Lance is to be offered up to Baron Von Butcher as his birthday present.

FOURTEEN – THE GOLDEN SWORD: C.H.U.M.P. tries to steal a golden sword which is a Middle Eastern country’s symbol of authority. *** THE CHILLING CHUMP CHASE: Lance and Mata must recover nuclear energy pills stolen by enemy agents.

FIFTEEN – THE SPY WHO WENT OUT IN THE COLD: Lance pretends to be defecting to C.H.U.M.P. *** TOO MANY CHUMPS: Lance and Mata are assigned to shut down a C.H.U.M.P. recruitment drive.

SIXTEEN – THE CHUMP CODE CAPER: The villains try decoding the secret intelligence messages contained in the lyrics to Evolution Revolution songs. *** WEATHER OR NOT: Dr. Strangemind creates a machine that controls the weather. With no Luke and Laura to stop him, Lance and Mata will have to do.

SEVENTEEN – THE EVOLUTION REVOLUTION: This time the villains succeed in deciphering the coded instructions in Evolution Revolution song lyrics. *** THE GREAT WATER ROBBERY: The Baron and his agents hold a city’s water supply hostage for an enormous ransom.

*** Nothing more to say except that THIS is why I would love to find an all-chimpanzee version of A Christmas Carol!

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