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DANITES – GUNSLINGING “KNIGHTS” OF THE OLD WEST

FRONTIERADO IS COMING UP ON FRIDAY, AUGUST 3rd!

Berenger Avenging AngelThe Frontierado Holiday is about the myth of the Old West, not the grinding reality. The Danites – the gunslinging Knights of the Mormon faith – are an underutilized and underappreciated element of Old West fiction.

The opportunities for action presented to a Danite could start as early as the 1838 Mormon War in Missouri. After that there’s the Illinois Mormon War in the 1840s which ended in the Siege of Nauvoo.

Following that conflict the Mormon Exodus to the West began, with “Deseret” (later called Utah) as the ultimate destination. Danites – like Christian Knights of long ago protecting Pilgrims headed for their “Holy Land” – safeguarded Mormon travelers from attacks by hooded anti-Mormon gangs, from armed outlaws and from various Native American tribes along the way.  

Berenger Avenging Angel 2In Deseret itself there were conflicts with Mexican raiders after the end of America’s war with Mexico (1846-1848). Danites would also be called upon to battle various Native American tribes in Deseret, in the role of oppressors rather than oppressed much of the time.

They would also fight Navajo armies to stop them from seizing Paiute Indians as slaves. (The anti-slavery aspect of Mormonism is often overlooked.) Plus the Danites faced the task of driving off armed bands of prospectors wanting the gold and other precious metals of the area.

There was also the Utah War with the Mormons fighting the United States Army from 1857-1858. On top of that add rumored armed conflicts among competing factions of Mormon leaders with the Danites caught in the middle like Mafia gunmen serving their respective “Dons” as it were. Continue reading

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FIJIAN GOD: VAKALELEYALO


Fiji 3Balladeer’s Blog’s recent look at The Gods of Fiji has been a hit! For another deity for the list here is Vakaleleyalo, whom I also went ahead and added to the main article. For more than 20 other gods from Fiji see my blog post HERE 

VAKALELEYALO – One of the entities encountered by dead souls on their epic journey to Mbulu, the land of the dead. Also called Taveta and Thema this deity is often described as “the Charon of Fijian myths.”

As Charon ferried souls across the River Styx, so Vakaleleyalo was the canoe captain who would ferry the souls of the dead from the Rakiraki region across to Mbulu. Continue reading

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GODS OF FIJI

Fiji IslandsIn the past Balladeer’s Blog has examined the gods and myths of Polynesian people in Hawaii, Samoa, Bellona and Rennell. This time around I’m taking a look at the neglected gods of the Melanesian people of Fiji.

NOTE: I am spelling the names of the deities phonetically to make it easier for readers to know how to pronounce them. I’m doing this to avoid the awkwardness of having to remember the odd rules regarding how to pronounce certain consonants.

For instance “Q” is pronounced “ng-g” so with the name of the shark god, spelled Dakuwanqa in that system, I will spell it Ndakuwang-ga so readers don’t have to remember how Q is supposed to be pronounced or that “D” is pronounced “nd”. After all, the Fijians certainly were not using our alphabet prior to contact with Europeans, so I think it’s inefficient to expect readers to remember odd pronunciation rules for letters that the Fijians never used to begin with.

KONOSAU – The god of stillborn infants. Originally born dead to the first Bau woman taken to Rewa, this entity became the patron deity of such offspring. His main temple is called Nai Bili. 

NAITONU – The god of nudity. I’m not joking. Naitonu hates the custom of wearing clothing and not only is he constantly naked but he expects nudity from everyone entering his territory – even if they are just passing through. Failure to comply will result in the offender being struck with leprosy. 

Fiji 2ALEWANISOSO – The patron goddess of travelers and hospitality. Regardless of their tribe, fellow Fijians who reach one of Alewanisoso’s temples can be assured of not being harmed during their stay – usually an overnight one. 

Hostility or rudeness of any kind is taboo in her temples and everyone entering is expected to conduct themselves as gently and courteously as they would when wooing a mate.

ROKOMAUTU – A son of the supreme deity Ndengei by his sister. This deity was born from his mother’s elbow as another example of birthing oddities in world mythology. Rokomautu was so headstrong he tried to force even his own parents to worship him. 

Rokomautu falls into the mythological category that Balladeer’s Blog’s readers will remember as a Divine Geographer. When Ndengei first created the world the land was featureless, so he sent his son Rokomautu to provide character. The god sculpted the Earth’s various geographic features.

The sandy beaches of Fiji were created by Rokomautu dragging his flowing robe over the terrain. When the god pulled up his robe while walking the land became rocky or filled with mangrove bushes. By some accounts anywhere that he spat a lake or river would form. 

Once during a drought in which many were dying, Rokomautu was passing through and used his hair-pin, or milamila, to puncture a hole in a rock from which drinking water then flowed. 

SOBO – The goddess of soft breezes on the Fijian island of Thikombia. Her husband Rasikilau, the patron deity of that island, killed their two sons once it became apparent that their strength might rival his some day if he allowed them to live. Continue reading

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THE INDEPENDENCE DAY SPEECH THAT NEVER WAS

Declaration of IndependenceFor the most part the silly conspiracy theories about the establishment of the United States are good only for laughs. One of my favorites, however, features a speech from a mysterious figure usually associated with Freemasons, Rosicrucians and/or the Bavarian Illuminati of Adam Weishaupt.

I don’t believe for one minute that such an enigmatic man showed up and tipped the balance toward ratifying the Declaration of Independence with a fiery, impassioned speech. However, I DO believe that the wording of that fictional tirade is pretty moving and nicely captures the feel of Independence Day.

Here is the relevant part. I’m omitting the ridiculous section where this mystery man supposedly made Nostradamus-style predictions about America’s future.

Independence Hall“They (the British) may stretch our necks on all the gibbets in the land. They may turn every rock into a scaffold, every tree into a gallows, every home into a grave and yet the words of that parchment can never die!”

“They may pour our blood on a thousand scaffolds and yet from every drop that dyes the axe a new champion of freedom will spring into birth. The British king may blot out the stars of God from the sky but he cannot blot out His words written on that parchment there. The works of God may perish … His words, never!”  

“The words of this Declaration will live in the world long after our bones are dust. To the mechanic in his workshop they will speak hope. To the slave in the mines, freedom. But to the coward kings these words will speak in tones of warning they cannot choose but hear.” Continue reading

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PRINCE: WHEN DOVES CRY

Balladeer’s Blog sends another shoutout to Prince, who inspired my Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead segments. Been busy as hell lately but I should be back to normal blog-posting speed this weekend sometime.

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BALLADEER’S BLOG IS EIGHT YEARS OLD TODAY

masc graveyard newTHANK YOU once again to all of you readers for making Balladeer’s Blog so enjoyable to write. As I always say the weird and controversial items I churn out here mean that readers have to be very secure in their own beliefs not to just take offense and leave.

Here’s a look at Glitternight.com’s eight biggest hits since last June:

Nth ManMOST POPULAR ANCIENT SCI FI POST OF THE PAST TWELVE MONTHS – That honor goes to THE Nth MAN (1920-1924). Part proto-kaiju, part political allegory, it’s amazing it was never made into a movie. CLICK HERE

MOST POPULAR WILD WEST LEGEND POST FOR FRONTIERADO SEASON – The blog post that won this category was DUSTY DELIA: FEMALE STAGECOACH DRIVER. She was adept with guns, Native American lingo and more. CLICK HERE

MOST POPULAR BLOG POST ABOUT NEW SLOGANS FOR THE DEMOCRATS – The winner here was the second one, DEMOCRATS: MORE NEW SLOGANS. Lots of laughs. CLICK HERE

MOST POPULAR JULY FOURTH SEASONAL POST – That honor goes to THE TYRANNICIDE: COMMERCE RAIDER OF THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR. The high seas adventure was very well-received. CLICK HERE Continue reading

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FATHER’S DAY (2011)

Father's DayFATHER’S DAY (2011) – Brace yourself for a gory time in this enjoyably outrageous cult classic.

Ahab, the eye-patch sporting hero of the Astron 6 horror film Father’s Day is in my opinion the one true successor to Bruce Campbell’s Ash Williams. And considering how unfair the ending of this movie is for Ahab and his two sidekicks a case could even be made for them replacing Ash as the most royally screwed character in the history of gore-soaked horror comedies.     

It’s difficult to review this dark, grotesque gem without resorting to a series of catch phrases like “Goes where Dead Alive and similar movies failed to go” or “What Grindhouse hath wrought” or even “Twink and Walnut: They’re NOT Muppets!” Let me start with a more practical line: Do not watch this movie if you can not handle the most offensive violence, concepts, gore and deranged sexuality imaginable.  Continue reading

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AVENGERS: KREE-SKRULL WAR CHAPTER LINKS

Marvel Comics continues to rule current pop culture. This year’s look at the Kree-Skrull War (1971-1972) was as big a hit as last summer’s examination of the Celestial Madonna Saga (1973-1975). Here are links to all the chapters for reader convenience.

Avengers 89I. THE ONLY GOOD ALIEN IS A DEAD ALIEN – Ronan the Accuser overthrows the Supreme Intelligence to take control of the alien Kree Empire. Meanwhile, the Avengers help the Kree officer Captain Marvel and Rick Jones stop Annihilus from escaping the Negative Zone after Mar-Vell and Rick break out. CLICK HERE 

II. JUDGMENT DAY – Ronan the Accuser comes to Earth to personally oversee Sentry 459’s attempt to kill the Avengers as well as to launch Plan Atavus, a project that will set back Earth’s evolutionary clock by millions of years. CLICK HERE 

III. TAKE A GIANT STEP … BACKWARD – With the De-Evolution Zone spreading at an alarming rate the Avengers (The Wasp, Yellow Jacket, The Scarlet Witch, Goliath, Quicksilver, The Vision and Captain Marvel) battle Ronan and the Sentry. Meanwhile the Skrulls launch a pre-emptive assault on the Kree Empire. CLICK HERE   Continue reading

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HAPPY BLOOM’S DAY 2018!

jamesjoyceYes, it’s the 16th of June, better known to James Joyce geeks like me as Bloom’s Day. The day is named in honor of Leopold Bloom, the Jewish advertising sales rep and Freemason who is one of the major characters in Joyce’s novel Ulysses. The novel also brings along Stephen Dedalus, the protagonist of his earlier novel Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.

For those unfamiliar with this work, Ulysses is Joyce’s stream-of-consciousness novel in which he metaphorically features the events from the Odyssey in a single day – June 16th, 1904, in Dublin. (The day he met Nora Barnacle, the woman he would eventually marry after living together for decades) Bloom represents Ulysses/Odysseus, Stephen represents Telemachus and Leopold’s wife, Molly Bloom, represents Penelope.

The novel is jam-packed with allusions to all manner of mythology (including sly references to the ancient Semitic myth which was the forerunner of the Odyssey, that’s why the character representing Ulysses is Jewish), Irish history and politics as well as a great deal of mystical and literary philosophy. Anyone into the Rosicrucians and their teachings should love spotting all the hidden meanings.  Continue reading

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VIOLENT FEMMES: BLISTER IN THE SUN

It’s the return of Balladeer’s Blog’s feature Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead. This time around it’s the Violent Femmes with their song Blister in the Sun

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