Here at Balladeer’s Blog my love of enjoyably bad movies has been well established. You can count me as one of the many “Human Breens” as fans of filmmaker Neil Breen are called.
Neil Breen (PBUH) started out as an architect and realtor with minor show-biz dabblings as a dancer in Madonna’s Vogue video and as a cop in Scream. Years later Breen surfaced once again in the entertainment world, this time as an independent filmmaker.
As with the best of the bad auteurs Neil churns out productions that are uniquely his own. There is no mistaking a Neil Breen film with a film made by anyone else. Picture The Room’s Tommy Wiseau trying to make a David Lynch movie. But with a LOT more needless violence against laptop computers.
Read on for a look at the first five examples of Breen Cinema.
DOUBLE DOWN (2005) – Neil Breen starred, wrote and directed this movie – and quite obviously he or an associate even wrote the IMDb description of the plot. That description calls Double Down “an edgy action thriller,” which would certainly come as a surprise to anyone who has actually SEEN the film.
Double Down set the pattern for all things Breen, which is to say it redefines Vanity Projects AND Mary Sue-ing. He casts himself as (insert some sort of human or superhuman paragon here) who (engages in some sort of activity) while looking down on everyone else with a judgmental air of disapproval and ennui. And needless to say, he’s the BEST at looking down on everyone else with a judgmental air of disapproval and ennui. (Sure, but can he climb anything?). Continue reading
FRANCOIS VILLON PART THREE – We left off last time with Villon forced to flee Paris after killing the priest Sermoise in a duel over a woman named Isabeau. Already well-versed in the criminal underworld of the region from his career as a thief, Francois hid out just 17 miles southwest of Paris at the Abbey of Port Royal-des-Champs. 
NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The top seeded NORTH LAKE COLLEGE BLAZERS vied with the 3 seeds – the HERKIMER COLLEGE GENERALS – for the NJCAA’s D3 title. 
LOOK WHAT’S HAPPENED TO ROSEMARY’S BABY (1976) – With The First Omen currently in theaters, its creative team’s obvious desire to make their Omen prequel seem more like Rosemary’s Baby made me decide to review the often forgotten made-for-television sequel to that horror classic. 
NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The TRINE UNIVERSITY THUNDER clashed with the HAMPDEN-SYDNEY COLLEGE TIGERS for the D3 title. 
HULK Vol 1 #150 (April 1972) 
NOTE: Thanks to sorcerers on Jarella’s home planet in the Microverse, Hulk was able to retain Bruce Banner’s mind there even when he was the Hulk, so she technically loved both his personae. 
BY AEROPLANE TO THE SUN (1910) – Written by Donald W. Horner. This British novel features ideas that wouldn’t have been out of place decades earlier but in 1910 it’s astounding to encounter concepts like an alleged scientist believing that the sun is inhabited. 
FRANCOIS VILLON – This part picks up with one of the most infamous incidents from Villon’s career as an outlaw and iconoclast. He graduated from the Sorbonne as a Master of Arts and had acquired such a reputation for youthful rebellion and hard-drinking bad craziness that “Villonerie” had become a catch-all term for disorder and disobedience. 
NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – This clash for the crown pitted the MINNESOTA STATE MAVERICKS against the NOVA SOUTHEASTERN UNIVERSITY SHARKS. 
GOOD EVENING, MR. TIBBS – As promised, I recently obtained a copy of author John Ball’s final story featuring his iconic African American homicide detective Virgil Tibbs. Yes, THAT Virgil Tibbs, introduced in the 1965 novel and 1966 movie In the Heat of the Night. 
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