“I’M DEAD INSIDE.”
Nobody takes more joy in sucking the emotion out of all human contact than Facebook’s Mark “Skippy” Zuckerberg! Mark – who hopes to become “a real boy” someday – recently chatted with a nonexistent reporter for Balladeer’s Blog. The subject was Zuckerberg’s new algorithm for breaking down poetry (patent pending).
BALLADEER’S BLOG: So Mark, what made you and your ilk in Silicon Valley take time away from invading people’s privacy to poke and prod at poetry?
MARK ZUCKERBERG: It annoyed me that there was still a scintilla of humanity left in the written word and I realized I couldn’t rest until I had analyzed it, broken it down and/or monetized it in some way. At the very least I wanted to destroy the emotion within it.
BALLADEER’S BLOG: Why do you despise all passion?
MARK ZUCKERBERG: I figure if I’m not capable of experiencing emotions there’s no reason that people who have less money than I do should get to experience them either.
BALLADEER: Say no more. May I recite some random lines of poetry to you so you can demonstrate how your poetry algorithm would translate them?
MARK ZUCKERBERG: I would not be opposed to doing that.
BALLADEER’S BLOG: The moon like a flower/ In Heaven’s high bower/ In silent delight/ Sits and smiles on the night
MARK ZUCKERBERG: “Moon good.”
BALLADEER’S BLOG: Let thy loveliness fade as it will/ And around the dear ruin each wish of my heart/ Would entwine itself verdantly still
MARK ZUCKERBERG: “Male gaze.” Or maybe “Toxic masculinity.” I yield to the Sarkeesian-bots on my staff when it comes to translating such dangerous misogyny and exhortations to rape.
BALLADEER’S BLOG: Two roads diverged in a wood and I – / I took the road less traveled by
MARK ZUCKERBERG: “Problematic fascist walks.”
BALLADEER’S BLOG: Where they have cringed and crawled and prayed/ I stand/ The self-damned/ Unafraid
MARK ZUCKERBERG: I don’t understand it, so it must be Hate Speech. It would be banned for violation of community standards.
BALLADEER’S BLOG: I have no mouth and I must scr-
MARK ZUCKERBERG: HATE SPEECH!
BALLADEER’S BLOG: Ours not to reason why/ Ours but to do and die
MARK ZUCKERBERG: Hey, why are you reading from the Silicon Valley Employees Manual? Continue reading
LA DAME DE MONSOREAU (1846) – A collaboration with Auguste Maquet. The title refers to the beautiful and fascinating Countess Diana de Monsoreau and her illicit romance with the novel’s male lead, Louis de Clermont de Bussy d’Amboise. Both characters are real but naturally Dumas and Maquet take the usual poetic license accorded to historical fiction. 
FINAL FOUR: FIRST BERTH – The CHRISTOPHER NEWPORT UNIVERSITY CAPTAINS squared off against the WILLIAMS COLLEGE EPHS (“eephs”). By Halftime the Captains were clinging to a slight 32-30 edge over the Ephs. After the break Christopher Newport University inched further and further away from their opponents, ultimately winning the game by a score of 79-70. Marcus Carter led the Captains with 27 points. 
FINAL FOUR: SECOND BERTH – In this game the SWARTHMORE COLLEGE GARNET played the NICHOLS COLLEGE BISON. The Garnet were on top of the Bison 32-23 at the midpoint. In the 2nd Half Nichols College rallied but Swarthmore College held them off for a 69-65 victory. Twenty points from Zac O’Dell led the way for the Garnet. 
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The last two teams standing in this tournament were the 4th seeded OAKWOOD UNIVERSITY AMBASSADORS and the Cinderella 7 seeds – the BLUEFIELD STATE BIG BLUES. The opening Half was a tale of stellar defense from both teams and ended with the Ambassadors on top 26-22. After the break each team went basket for basket, putting up 35 more points. Oakwood University won the game 61-57 led by 20 points from Edmen Stewart. * THE AMBASSADORS ARE USCAA NATIONAL CHAMPIONS * 
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – In this tournament’s title tilt the 2 seeds – the GRACE CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY TIGERS – did battle with the 4th seeded GREAT LAKES CHRISTIAN COLLEGE CRUSADERS. The Tigers seemed in control with a 55-38 Halftime lead but from there the Crusaders came back to force Overtime with a 75-75 tie. In Overtime Kellum Bridgeforth hit a 3-pointer with 5 seconds left to give Grace Christian University an 84-83 win. Bridgeforth led his team with 21 points. * THE TIGERS ARE NATIONAL CHAMPIONS OF NCCAA DIVISION TWO * 
FINAL FOUR: FIRST BERTH – The OREGON TECH HUSTLIN’ OWLS clashed with the INDIANA WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY WILDCATS. An action-packed 1st Half ended with the Hustlin’ Owls holding a 47-44 edge over the Wildcats. After the break Oregon Tech got more and more separation, ultimately winning the game by a Century Club level score of 107-93. Mitchell Fink notched THIRTY-FOUR points to lead the Hustlin’ Owls. 
Here at Balladeer’s Blog my fondness for the really old Movie Host/ Horror Host shows is well known. 
Gary has uncovered a wealth of info and clippings regarding this figure plus many more neglected Movie Hosts.
SECOND SEMIFINAL – In this game the 7th seeded BLUEFIELD STATE BIG BLUES took the court against the 3 seeds – the BRYANT & STRATTON COLLEGE (Buffalo) BOBCATS. The Big Blues put the Bobcats on Upset Alert at the break with their 28-26 edge. In the 2nd Half Bluefield State mustered a tad more separation to win the game 65-62. Twenty-eight points from Korey Williams led the Big Blues. 
FIRST SEMIFINAL – The 4 seeds – the GREAT LAKES CHRISTIAN COLLEGE CRUSADERS – squared off against the 8th seeded MARANATHA BAPTIST UNIVERSITY SABERCATS. By the midpoint of the game the Crusaders were in control with a 40-28 advantage over the Sabercats. From there Great Lakes Christian College methodically left Maranatha Baptist further and further behind, ultimately defeating them 81-61. Isiah Reed of the Crusaders tossed in 20 points to lead his team. 
Balladeer’s Blog’s examination of the Justice Society’s World War Two-era stories continues. FOR PART ONE CLICK 
Possible Publication Month: I’ve read anywhere from July to September 1945 so it may or may not have referred to World War Two still raging. 
Synopsis: Well the Spoiler comes right up-front since this story was apparently long known as “the lost Psycho-Pirate story.” In the original plan the fact that the Psycho-Pirate (Charles Halstead) was really the man behind the tale’s villainy was to be a surprise. 
DAY ONE, GAME ONE – The 3 seeds – the BRYANT & STRATTON (Buffalo) BOBCATS – played the 6th seeded CLINTON COLLEGE GOLDEN BEARS to tip off the Division One Tournament in the USCAA (United States Collegiate Athletic Association). By Halftime the Golden Bears had spooked the Bobcats with a 38-29 lead but after the break Bryant & Stratton came roaring from behind to win the game 80-73. Nicc (sic) Johnson’s 19 points led the Bobcats. 
CAPTAIN MARVEL! CAROL DANVERS! THE AVENGERS! NICK FURY! THANOS! THE KREE-SKRULL WAR! RONAN THE ACCUSER! OMNI-WAVE PROJECTORS (Intergalactic Pagers)! AND EVEN MORE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! 
I. THE ONLY GOOD ALIEN IS A DEAD ALIEN – Ronan the Accuser overthrows the Supreme Intelligence to take control of the alien Kree Empire. Meanwhile, the Avengers help the Kree officer Captain Marvel and Rick Jones stop Annihilus from escaping the Negative Zone after Mar-Vell and Rick break out. CLICK 
