Category Archives: Bad and weird movies

May 23, 2014 · 3:13 am

HORROR OF PARTY BEACH (1964) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

The Cute Mascot for Vibrators-to-Go

The Cute Mascot for Vibrators-to-Go

In the middle 1980’s/ Way down on Level 31 …

Before MST3K there was The Texas 27 Film Vault, hosted by Randy Clower and Richard Malmos. Balladeer’s Blog’s examination of this neglected 1980’s cult show continues. Here’s another review of an episode where an original broadcast date can be determined.

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday May 25th, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Phantom EmpireEXTRAS: With 2 1/2 hours to work with every episode our machine-gun toting “Film Vault Technicians First Class” Randy and Richard had plenty of time to show (and mock) episodes of old Republic serials before showing (and mocking) the night’s bad movie. Before Horror of Party Beach our boys showed an episode of The Phantom Empire, in which Gene Autry played a singing cowboy  who saves the world from an advanced underground civilization complete with killer robots.

Yeah, most atomic beasts live off human brains!

Yeah, most atomic beasts live off human brains!

Also, a comedy sketch (which Randy Clower told me he still has footage of) from the episode featured Richard jamming a bunch of hot dogs in his mouth to resemble the absurd, multi-tongued sea creatures in Horror of Party Beach.     

FILM VAULT LORE: Special thanks to my fellow Texas 27 Film Vault fan Jana for the date of this episode and which serial preceded the movie. She did not remember which  chapter of the serial Randy and Richard were on, but you can’t have everything!

Here’s more in Jana’s own words: “My boyfriend and I at the time were at SMU and on Saturday nights everybody on Continue reading →

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May 14, 2014 · 3:21 pm

TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT: THE 3-D POSTER by KERRY GAMMILL

FILMVreducedRegular readers of Balladeer’s Blog are familiar with my fondness for Movie Host shows of the past and my EXCLUSIVE interview with Randy Clower of the mid-1980’s program The Texas 27 Film Vault has proven to be a very popular item on this blog.

Randy and his cohost Richard Malmos, playing machine gun- packing Film Vault Technicians First Class, would show and mock bad and campy films from decades ago and were a huge hit when they were on the air. I feel they Continue reading →

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May 11, 2014 · 2:39 pm

MOTHER’S DAY BAD MOVIE: HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY – LOVE, GEORGE (1973)

Despite the movie poster's warning this flick won't even untie your shoelaces.

Despite the movie poster’s warning this flick won’t even untie your shoelaces.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! LOVE, GEORGE (1973) – Category: Bad movie elevated by kitsch value in the casting.

Directed by THE Darren McGavin and featuring his wife Kathie Browne in a small role, this hilariously bizarre film is also known as Run, Stranger, Run. “Run, Potential Viewer, Run” would be a more appropriate title. Happy Mother’s Day Love, George (henceforth HMDLG) is often described as a psycho-sexual thriller but actually it is nothing more than a melodramatic soap opera with a few murders and VERY few scenes of blood and gore. Those blood and gore scenes are so over-the-top they are completely at odds with the Continue reading →

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May 7, 2014 · 8:56 pm

LOVE GODDESS CASEY JAMES HOSTS ANOTHER LOOK AT BAD MOVIES

Casey James, the Official Movie Hostess of Balladeer's Blog

Casey James, the Official Movie Hostess of Balladeer’s Blog

Special thanks once again to Balladeer’s Blog’s Official Movie Hostess, the incomparable Casey James! Casey has a well-earned reputation as one of the most beautiful women in the world. She was kind enough to take some time away from her busy day to host another look at some very strange movies from the cinematic hinterlands. 

THE MAN WITHOUT A BODY (1957) – Unbelievably bad movie which will have you smacking your head against the wall with its hopelessly flawed logic and truck-sized plotholes. A dying tycoon has a brain tumor so he wants a healthy brain to replace it. For absolutely no reason he thinks this new brain will carry on his consciousness. Making even less sense is the fact that he wants the brain of the long-dead Nostrodamus to be the replacement organ! Making the least sense of all is the fact that his graverobbers find Nostrodamus’ brain INTACT after hundreds of years! All this plus a mad scientist who has disembodied monkey heads and a huge eyeball on his laboratory wall.  FOR MY FULL-LENGTH REVIEW CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2010/11/13/the-man-without-a-body-1957/ Continue reading →

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April 30, 2014 · 10:22 pm

KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK (1978) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

KISS Meets the Phantom of the ParkIn the middle 1980′s/ Way down on Level 31 –

Randy Clower and Richard Malmos of The Texas 27 Film Vault (both lower right) featured in a Movie Host article with Stella from Saturday Night Dead and Elvira.

Randy Clower and Richard Malmos of The Texas 27 Film Vault (both lower right) featured in a Movie Host article with Stella from Saturday Night Dead and Elvira.

Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault!

Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult show from the mid-1980′s.

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday May ??, 1987 from 10:30pm to 1:00 am. Exact date is still being debated. Any Vaulties with further information please feel free to contact me.

EXTRAS: Every single nanosecond of this film is riff-worthy, so with the usual comedy sketches from the Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) added on plus commercials there was no time for an episode of a Republic or Columbia serial before the movie this time. Randy and Richard, our machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class were able to get to the movie quickly.  Continue reading →

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April 16, 2014 · 8:08 pm

THE PARTY CRASHERS (1958) – ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Mysterious Doctor SatanIn the middle 1980’s/ Way down on Level 31 –

Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault!

Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult show from the mid-1980′s.

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday September 13th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

EXTRAS: This episode featured Randy and Richard’s interview with Denver Pyle, who appears in the film being riffed on, The Party Crashers. They taped the interview with him at Ben Johnson’s ranch earlier in the year. The interview would be rerun when The Texas 27 Film Vault showed The Flying Saucer, another film with Denver Pyle in a supporting role. OR as some T27FV fans have claimed The Flying Saucer was shown by Randy and Richard during the summer of 1986 so the Denver Pyle interview was being run for the second time in TONIGHT’S episode. When or if I can confirm or nail down the specifics I will adjust this entry.

SERIAL: Before presenting and mocking The Party Crashers our machine-gun wielding Film Vault Technicians First Class presented and mocked an episode of Mysterious Doctor Satan, a Republic serial from 1940. The serial featured a mad scientist called Dr Satan trying to take over the world with a VERY goofy- looking robot while a pulp-style hero called the Copperhead tried to thwart his plans.     Continue reading →

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March 26, 2014 · 10:54 pm

BAD MOVIE: THE MAN FROM S.E.X. (1979)

man from sexTHE MAN FROM S.E.X. (1979) – Category: Fun-bad but not classically bad enough for my highest rating.

Bind … Charles Bind. In the cinematic world of cheapjack James Bond ripoffs the three films that featured Lindsay Shonteff’s secret agent Charles Bind aka “Number One” are possibly THE worst. “The Bind Trilogy” deserves to be as well-known to fans of bad movies as flicks like Operation Double 007, Danger! Death Ray and Trunk to Cairo. All three of Number One’s movies are Number Two (had to be said) but The Man From S.E.X. pretty much Harry Alan Towers (rimshot) over the other two in terms of awfulness.

Nicky Hensen portrayed Bind … well, given Hensen’s limited thespian skills let’s instead say “he was billed as Bind in the credits” of the first Charles Bind/ Number One film, titled Number One of the Secret Service (1970). (Jon “Dr Who” Pertwee was in the Hensen film, too)  

Gareth Hunt (of New Avengers fame) was billed as Bind in the credits of this middle film in the series and in 1990 came the third and final film Number One Gun, starring Michael Howe (of Tom Grattan’s War fame). The first and third pitted our hero against the evil organization K.R.A.S.H. (Killing, Rape, Arson, Slaughter and Hits) but The Man From S.E.X. featured a different – but no less absurd – villain.

Continue reading →

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March 14, 2014 · 4:00 pm

ADAM AND EVE VERSUS THE CANNIBALS (1983)

Adam and Eve vs the CannibalsScrew the overrated Dan Brown and what he thinks are “shocking” revelations even though they’ve been known about and debated for centuries. If you want to see what the world’s religious establishments have REALLY been hiding from you check out this delirious acid trip of a movie from Italy. For the squeamish I know the word “cannibals” in close proximity to “Italy” usually means the hardcore violence of Italian Cannibal flicks by Ruggerio Deodato and company but that’s not the case here.

Actually this movie seems to have been trying to leapfrog on the mild success of films like Quest for Fire or One Million B.C. with odd overtones of Blue Lagoon but the end result is UN-intentionally funnier than Ringo Starr’s comedy Caveman. Adam and Eve versus the Cannibals opens up with a montage of “creation” followed by a scene of Adam (cult action icon Mark Gregory) emerging from a bloody and gooey cocoon … yes, a cocoon.

Not too long after that this flick throws even more oddball theology at us as it Continue reading →

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March 10, 2014 · 6:01 pm

THE EIGHT MOST NEGLECTED BAD MOVIES HERE AT BALLADEER’S BLOG

Alabama's GhostSome of the bad and weird movies I review here at Balladeer’s Blog get a huge amount of love. Films like Death Bed, Deafula, Assignment: Terror, Ghost Busting, Lewd Lizard and plenty of others don’t go a day without plenty of hits. Others for whatever reason struggle for attention. Here is a look at some of those flicks that deserve just as much of a cult following as the big names have.

ALABAMA’S GHOST (1973) – Who does this movie have to sleep with to get into my top ten articles per day on a regular basis? This flick boasts Nazi vampires from outer space, a female mad scientist named Dr Caligula, campy voice-over narration and an incoherent, cobbled-together ending prompted by the film’s production budget running out. And did I mention the Continue reading →

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March 4, 2014 · 4:10 pm

MARDI GRAS MASSACRE (1978)

Mardi Gras MassacreMARDI GRAS MASSACRE (1978) – Category: A neglected Bad Movie classic, but its hard-core gore will prevent it from ever having a Plan 9-sized cult following

It takes a twisted sort of genius to make multiple disembowelment murders look boring, but that’s exactly what Jack Weis accomplishes in Mardi Gras Massacre! Today may be Fat Tuesday, but let’s rechristen it “Splat Tuesday” in honor of this late 70’s splatterfest. 

The actual “massacre” part of this movie is an incredible disappointment. An insane, hate-filled man with a Continue reading →

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