Category Archives: Bad and weird movies

SEXY CASEY JAMES AND BALLADEER’S BLOG’S BAD MOVIE ARCHIVES

Casey archive1Thank you once again to Balladeer’s Blog’s Official Movie Hostess, Casey James! It’s no secret that Casey is one of the most desired women on the planet but she was kind enough to take a break from stealing the hearts of her countless admirers to help present another look at bad and weird movies.  

THE SECRET OF DORIAN GRAY (1970) – A terrific idea was blown in this hilariously flawed attempt to adapt Oscar Wilde’s Picture of Dorian Gray to swinging 60’s London. Helmut Berger, who was sort of a Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE: OVERLORDS OF THE UFO (1977)

Overlords of the UFOA reader sent me an email requesting that I review this movie but I already did in 2010.

Here it is again along with a reminder to check my Bad Movie Page to get immediate satisfaction for your bad movie fix.

After all, I might have already reviewed the movie you are requesting in which case you could read the review by simply clicking right here – https://glitternight.com/bad-movies 

OVERLORDS OF THE UFO (1977) – Category: Hilariously lame “documentary” about conspiracies, the paranormal and/or the supernatural    This little honey comes from the muck and slime encrusted bottom of the cinematic barrel of movies that followed in the wake of the ridiculous Chariots Of The Gods. None of these schlockumentaries are very convincing about their subject matter but this flick is so outrageously inept that not even the Ancient Aliens team would be suckered in by it … maybe.

Early on the fun kicks into high gear with mismatched stock footage of Continue reading

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CHANGE OF HABIT (1969) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Change of Habit bBefore MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault!

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday January 10th, 1987 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

EXTRAS: Special thanks to T27FV fan Dr Shock-the-Monkey for the date and other info about this episode. He stated this episode also featured appearances by various Elvis impersonators but he wasn’t sure if they were legit or put-ons since they were all of the “bloated stomach and very weird hair” type of Elvis look-a-likes. 

Elvis on BerleSERIAL : Due to the length of the movie this time there was not enough time before the film for Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, the machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class to show and mock a full episode of one of their pre-movie serials. Instead they showed the excerpt of Elvis Presley’s April 3rd, 1956 appearance on The Milton Berle Show before moving on to the night’s film.

THE MOVIE: Change of Habit is a movie that was practically MADE to be ridiculed. You’ve got Continue reading

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NEW YEAR’S EVE BAD MOVIES FROM BALLADEER’S BLOG

Here at Balladeer’s Blog I’m very fond of cinematic turkeys that have seasonal tie-ins. Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas bombs have gotten ample attention from me, so permit me to follow those items up with this look at bad movies with a New Year’s Eve theme. As usual, full-length reviews of these films can be found on my Bad Movie page.

AKA Time Warp

AKA Time Warp

BLOODY NEW YEAR (1987) – Also released under the title Time Warp but it’s grisly enough for the more explicit title. A handful of British boaters who are fleeing a family of soccer hooligans (no, really) wind up on an island with a deserted hotel that’s been decorated for a New Year’s Eve party since the 1950’s. This Norman J Warren film stars nobody and borrows heavily from Sam Raimi’s original Evil Dead in terms of its imitation “Deadites” and its POV tracking shots. It also features a killer who emerges from a movie being watched, a monster who climbs out of a tablecloth, homicidal kitchen utensils, indoor snowfall, laughing shrubbery and living walls. All the chaos is being caused by hapless souls who have been trapped in limbo for decades and will do anything to get out or to drag others into their hellish undead existence with them.

Bloody New Year is a neglected bad movie classic that has all the Continue reading

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TERROR TRAIN (1980) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT IN 1986

Terror Train

Terror Train

Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault!

Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult show from the mid-1980’s. 

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday December 27th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

EXTRAS: Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, as machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class and members of the fictional Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) had two and a half hours to work with each week. Interviews with figures like Vincent Price, Forry Ackerman and others were featured and the movies being shown and mocked were often preceded by episodes of old Republic serials like Radar Men from the Moon and others. This episode featured Randy and Richard’s interview with Ben Johnson, whom they had interviewed at his ranch earlier in the year. Johnson also appeared in the episode’s film, Terror Train.

SERIAL: For this episode the movie was preceded by a chapter of Mysterious Doctor Satan

HOST SEGMENTS: The most memorable Host Segment  Randy and Richard did during this New Year’s-themed horror film was a bit where, as Midnight Dallas Time approached, they staged a countdown and then a raucous celebration of the arrival of … December 28th, 1986. Ken “Tex” Miller, Joe “The Hypnotic Eye” Riley and other Film Vault Corps members joined in the festivities in a great example of the wry humor of this pre-MST3K program.  

TERROR TRAIN (1980) – A New Year’s Eve slasher film set on a Continue reading

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A COSMIC CHRISTMAS (1977) AND SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (1964)

A Cosmic ChristmasIn the middle 1980′s/ Way down on Level 31 …

Before MST3K there was The Texas 27 Film Vault! Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult show from the 1980′s.

Last time around I reviewed the 1986 Christmas episode of Randy Clower and Richard Malmos’ late-night hit. This time around I’ll take a look at their 1985 Yuletide offering.

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday December 21st, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

SERIAL: Since this was a Christmas episode our heroes from the fictional Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) took a break from their pre-movie serial of the moment and instead showed and mocked a bizarre Canadian cartoon called A Cosmic Christmas from 1977. This hysterically dumb and Continue reading

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THE CINAMMON CINDER SHOW CHRISTMAS SPECIAL (1965) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT: DECEMBER 20th, 1986

Cinammon Cinder ShowIn the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 …

Before MST3K there was The Texas 27 Film Vault! Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult show from the 1980s.

On the Saturday before Christmas in 1985 our machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class presented Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, but since that flick has been shown by every single Movie Host show in history I opted to feature this 1986 holiday item instead.

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday December 20th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

scrooge looseSERIAL: Since this was a Christmas episode our heroes from the fictional Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) took a break from their pre-movie serial of the moment and instead showed and mocked a pair of short items with a Yuletide air. FIRST: Scrooge Loose, an 8 minute Gumby stop-motion animation treat from 1957. Gumby and his equine pal Pokey spot Ebenezer Scrooge escaping from Continue reading

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CHRISTMAS TURKEYS FROM BALLADEER’S BLOG

ELVESRegular readers of Balladeer’s Blog are very familiar with my Bad Movie page. Laughing at bad and weird movies is one of the great joys of life so I often post holiday-themed looks at cinematic turkeys around Halloween and Thanksgiving. The Yuletide season has its fair share of turkeys as well, so enjoy this examination of more Christmas season bombs than even Henry Kissinger ever dreamed of. In keeping with my blog’s overall theme I will exclude overexposed movies like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and the Mexican film Santa Claus. Visit my Bad Movie page if you want full-length reviews of the following flicks.  

Christmas MartianTHE CHRISTMAS MARTIAN (1971) – This Canadian flick is dubbed into English from its orginal French so viewers get treated to the Old School bad movie fun of the actor’s lip movements rarely matching the words being said. An annoyingly whimsical and whacky Martian gets stuck in Canada at Christmas time. A young brother and sister help the alien visitor repair his Ed Wood- level spaceship and save him from suspicious Canadian authorities. Yes, it all seems … reminiscent … of the much-later movie E.T. but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. (?) The Martian overdoes the zaniness factor to such a degree that even Charles Nelson Reilly would have told him to tone it down a little. He also wallows in a Canadian candy treat that looks a lot like Reese’s Pieces. Just sayin’.

SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972) – Ever want to see Santa Claus sweating so much that his red pants cling to his butt tightly enough for his crack and each buttock to stand out wide and proud? THIS is the movie for you! (And please stay away from children.) Santa’s sleigh crash-lands in Continue reading

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ELVES (1989): THE BEST KILLER ELF MOVIE FOR CHRISTMASTIME


ELVES
ELVES (1989) – 
Category: Enjoyably bad movie but not fun- bad enough for my highest rating          In past Christmas seasons I reviewed the underappreciated Yuletide turkeys The Christmas Martian and  Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. (see my Bad Movie page for those reviews) This time I’ll address the horror film Elves, which will have you laughing like crazy but unlike a film like Santa’s Slay, it’s not MEANT as a comedy.

Where to begin with this film? We’ve got Dan Haggerty as a washed up ex- store detective and drug addict working as a department store Santa Claus, we’ve got Julie Austin as Continue reading

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TURKEY DAY: A LOOK AT BAD MOVIES AND SHORTS FOR THANKSGIVING

Blood Freak (1972)

Blood Freak (1972)

For the Thanksgiving holiday Balladeer’s Blog is focusing on bad movies and hilariously lame educational shorts that have a specific Thanksgiving theme. As always my Bad Movie page contains full-length reviews of the films I’m offering a brief synopsis of here.

BLOOD FREAK (1972) – This movie is about a man who turns into a murderous monster with the head of a turkey after he eats a chemically treated gobbler at the turkey farm where he works. Blood Freak has been a cult classic for Thanksgiving for decades now, with many Movie Host shows of the late 70’s onward making a point of screening it at this time of year (including The Texas 27 Film Vault). The biker who turns into the blood-crazed turkey monster is Continue reading

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