Monthly Archives: October 2015

October 22, 2015 · 8:38 pm

MWINDO: EPIC MYTH OF AFRICA PART NINE

Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this epic myth of the Nyanga people.

PART NINE

Kahindo

Kahindo

Mwindo prepared to pursue his cowardly father Shemwindo into the land of the dead ruled by the god Muisa. The semidivine hero’s Aunt Iyangura was frightened for Mwindo’s safety but he assured her he could take care of himself in the land of the dead.

To further comfort his aunt he pulled the rope from his pouch of magical implements and tore it into two pieces. He gave one piece to Iyangura and he kept the other on his person. Mwindo told Iyangura that her end of the rope would act as a life token so she would know he was still alive.

(Life tokens such as this have been covered previously at Balladeer’s Blog in Vietnamese, Malagasy and Philippine myths. They were usually a plant of some sort which would reflect the physical state of the myth’s hero on their travels. As long as the plant was alive then his loved ones would know the hero was still alive as well.) Continue reading →

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October 21, 2015 · 11:09 pm

DEATH SPA (1989) AND KILLER WORKOUT (1987)

Death SpaAs Halloween month continues here at Balladeer’s Blog how about we review a couple of “exercises in horror” (Thank you, I’m here all week!) in the form of Death Spa (1989) and Killer Workout aka Aerobicide (1987). 

DEATH SPA (1989) – Originally begun in 1986 but not completed and released until 1989, Death Spa is my favorite of the two Health Spa horror films of the 1980s. Part of the fun comes from the kitsch casting:

Merritt “Captain Kirk’s Son” Butrick plays David, a man whose sister Catherine killed herself under suspicious circumstances, causing him to blame his promiscuous brother-in law for her death.  

Ken Foree, the cult horror figure, is wasted as a maintenance man whose role is virtually non-existent yet this lame flick gets shown at Ken Foree film festivals. Go figure. Continue reading →

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October 21, 2015 · 3:39 pm

OBAMA STILL OKAY WITH MUSLIM MEN RAPING LITTLE BOYS

OBAMA: Yes, that Muslim man is definitely raping that little boy. By the way I believe the Muslim world has moral superiority to the Western World."

OBAMA: Yes, that Muslim man is definitely raping that little boy. By the way I believe the Muslim World has moral superiority to the Western World.”

Just because I’m not a Conservative I don’t want anyone to EVER think I’m an American Liberal. American Liberals are the most cowardly hypocrites and the most mindless and unquestioning political robots in the world.

Barack Obama – like most American Liberals – is still a-okay with Muslim men raping little boys in Afghanistan and his policy is that U.S. soldiers will face disciplinary action if they try to intervene to save the screaming child victims … even if the rapes take place on military bases. Islam uber alles!

Islam being the most backward and savage religion in the world at this particular point in history the practice of men raping boys is part of their “culture” and even goes by the name “bacha bazi.” Bacha bazi means “boy play” or “boy rape” or “Sorry, kid, we’d love to help you but it’s Obama’s orders.” Continue reading →

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October 20, 2015 · 8:26 pm

THE DEAD DANCE BY MOONLIGHT

Another neglected American horror legend from Balladeer’s Blog to help celebrate Halloween Month.  

THE DEAD DANCE BY MOONLIGHT

Dead Dance by MoonlightManetti was the violinist’s last name. His first name has been lost to history. He was making a name for himself throughout New England when twin milestones occurred which prevented him from earning the full musical fame he longed for.

Those twin milestones happened in 1775 and they were:

On the personal level, Manetti was diagnosed with consumption (tuberculosis) and on the national level, the Revolutionary War broke out. Due to his medical condition the thirtyish violinist was not looked down upon for refraining from military service. However, none of the New England towns had funds to spare for the type of symphonies or opera houses Manetti had envisioned for the area.  Continue reading →

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October 20, 2015 · 5:31 pm

COLLEGE FOOTBALL RANKINGS: NAIA

Lindsey_Wilson_KYNAIA – 1. LINDSEY WILSON COLLEGE BLUE RAIDERS     ###      2. MORNINGSIDE COLLEGE MUSTANGS     ###      3. SOUTHERN OREGON UNIVERSITY RAIDERS (Defending Champions)     ###      4. GRAND VIEW UNIVERSITY VIKINGS     ###      5. BAKER UNIVERSITY WILDCATS     ###       Continue reading →

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October 19, 2015 · 9:43 pm

THE MARQUETTE MONSTER

Balladeer’s Blog presents another neglected American horror legend for Halloween Month.

THE MARQUETTE MONSTER

Marquette MonsterNear what is now Alton, IL a monstrous man-eating monster was first sighted by Jacques Marquette in the 1670s. Sightings of the creature continued until the 1860s. The celebrated drawing of this monster by Native Americans was dated to around the year 1200 CE.

The monster is also known as the Piasa Bird, named after Native American terms for dragon-like creatures that supposedly inhabited the region in the ancient past. Over the decades the description varied but overall the Marquette Monster was said to have the body of a horse-sized cougar, the wings of a bat and the head of a human but adorned with antlers like a deer.   Continue reading →

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October 19, 2015 · 3:01 pm

HOW STUPID IS BARACK OBAMA: LATEST EDITION

Obama DerpIt’s no secret that Barack Obama did very poorly in college and that he has made at least as many stupid remarks as the repulsive George W Bush did.

In fact all of Little Barry’s stupid remarks have been preserved for posterity on Youtube. (Good thing, too, becauses otherwise Barry’s mindless, unquestioning supporters would try to claim he never made those remarks.)

Recently the Hollow Man outdid even himself. He is now Barack Obama, the father of the Iranian nuclear weapons program. Iran notoriously got everything it wanted in the recent negotiations while the world got nothing in return but vows by Iran that it WILL violate the terms and it WILL use nuclear weapons to annihilate at least one other country.

How stupid was that Iran deal? To give you an idea consider this: various Muslim nations like the United Arab Emirates are now paying Israel – their technical enemy – for its Iron Shield technology to protect themselves from Iran’s (courtesy of Obama) nukes.

Iran’s fellow Muslim nations are under no illusions about how unstable the Mad Mullahs of Iran are. Only the Obama Administration is too dumb to realize what it has done.    

Plus the whole world can thank Obama’s disastrous Libyan and Syrian policies for the ongoing refugee flood overwhelming Europe.

And furthermore: Continue reading →

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October 18, 2015 · 6:24 am

BLOOD OF DRACULA’S CASTLE (1969) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Blood of Dracula's Castle 1Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault!

In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class hosted this neglected cult show.

Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of the program’s THIRTIETH  anniversary year.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday November 2nd, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Halloween SafetySERIAL: Before showing and mocking the movie our members of the Film Vault Corps (“The few, the proud, the sarcastic”) usually showed and mocked chapters of old Republic or Columbia serials. For this episode a break was taken from Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe. Instead the 1977 Centron Educational short Halloween Safety was shown and mocked for its seasonal relevance.

Halloween Safety was eleven minutes long and is as much fun to riff on as such old shorts generally are. The killjoy Safety Czars at Centron do their best to drain as much fun from Trick or Treating as they can, although they never approach Sid Davis levels of paranoia.

The funniest part of the short is when the little girl is browbeaten by the narrator to change from her black witch costume (poor visibility for drivers) to an all-white witch’s costume, which, with the peaked hat and flowing robe makes her look like she’s auditioning for a role in The Littlest Klansman. Though the little black kid in whiteface is a close second.   

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

FILM VAULT LORE: Randy and Richard often joked that The Texas 27 Film Vault showed just about every movie with the word “blood” in the title. That’s nowhere near true, of course, but they did show a lot of them. Previously Balladeer’s Blog has reviewed Randy and Richard’s airing of Blood Freak, Queen of Blood and Blood Beach. There are a few more to come after this one, too, including Blood Orgy of the She Devils and the infamous bit where the local tv listings refused to run the title of the movie. (Hey, it was mid-1980’s Texas and Oklahoma.)

THE MOVIE: Blood of Dracula’s Castle was directed by Bad Movie icon Al Adamson and is a fun Monster Rally turkey for the Halloween time of year. The Texas 27 Film Vault also showed a few other Al Adamson anti-classics like Dracula vs Frankenstein and Vampire Men of the Lost Planet.     Continue reading →

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October 18, 2015 · 3:58 am

COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM OCTOBER 17th

* HEADLINES *

Edward Waters Tigers helmetEDWARD WATERS RULES THE WORLD – Another NAIA team has risen up to defeat an NCAA Division ONE team. The EDWARD WATERS COLLEGE TIGERS took part in the Jacksonville Football Classic against the Division One JACKSONVILLE UNIVERSITY DOLPHINS. The Tigers showed how football is played in the NAIA by routing the Dolphins 49-28. 

Lindsey_Wilson_KYNUMBER ONES STAY SAFE – The NAIA’s top ranked LINDSEY WILSON COLLEGE BLUE RAIDERS survived a 24-19 visit from the (18) FAULKNER UNIVERSITY EAGLES     ###      In D2 the (1) MINNESOTA STATE MAVERICKS notched a 51-10 road crushing of the unranked CONCORDIA (St Paul) GOLDEN EAGLES     ###      And D3’s (1) MT UNION PURPLE RAIDERS annihilated the unranked HEIDELBERG UNIVERSITY STUDENT PRINCES 59-17.   Continue reading →

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October 17, 2015 · 7:35 pm

THE SHE-MONSTER OF THE FRENCH BROAD RIVER

Balladeer’s Blog presents another neglected American horror legend for Halloween Month.

THE SHE-MONSTER OF THE FRENCH BROAD RIVER

French Broad RiverThe French Broad River near Asheville, NC is one of those rare rivers that are older than the mountains they pass through. Those mountains in the Appalachians were not created until North America collided with Africa 300 million years ago to form the enormous continent called Pangaea. The river is older than that.

The She-Monster of the French Broad River is said to be a life-form that goes back to those prehistoric times. She is the sole remaining member of whatever type of pre-human race existed in those times and as such is extraordinarily lonely. Continue reading →

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