Monthly Archives: March 2015

March 5, 2015 · 11:31 pm

MALDOROR 7: FROM TODAY I ABANDON VIRTUE

Maldoror 7Balladeer’s Blog continues its poem-by-poem examination of the 1868 work The Songs of Maldoror by Isidore Ducasse, the self-titled Count de Lautreamont. The title I’m assigning to this 7th piece for cross-reference purposes is From Today I Abandon Virtue. Prose translations are readily available in English for those who dislike poetry.

FROM TODAY I ABANDON VIRTUE

This poem begins with our supernatural figure Maldoror boasting of a tacit alliance he has made with prostitution to sow discord among families and erode the societal bond. He begins to recount the origin of that pact.

One night while walking through a graveyard Maldoror encountered a glow-worm as large as the mausoleum it stood next to. The light given off by the creature was blood-red, not greenish like glow-worms usually give off. The glow-worm, speaking to him in French told him he was providing illumination for him to read the inscription on a nearby tomb. Continue reading →

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March 5, 2015 · 3:12 pm

NATIONAL TOURNAMENTS UNDERWAY IN THE USCAA AND ACCA PLUS MORE

* USCAA DIVISION ONE *

Concordia (AL) LogoDAY ONE, GAME ONE – The National Championship Tournament is underway in the USCAA (United States Collegiate Athletic Association)! Yesterday saw the 4th seeded CONCORDIA (AL) COLLEGE HORNETS take on the 5 seeds – the FLORIDA NATIONAL UNIVERSITY CONQUISTADORS. The Conquistadors seemed primed for an upset, leading 44-35 at Halftime but the Hornets kept their composure and came storming back for a 99-93 victory. Anthony Jones led Concordia with 28 points.   Continue reading →

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March 5, 2015 · 2:51 pm

A GREAT QUOTE ABOUT THE CIVILIZED WORLD VS THE MUSLIM WORLD

Islam for quote“The timid civilized world has found nothing with which to oppose the onslaught of a sudden revival of barefacd barbarity other than concessions and smiles.” – Solzhenitsyn  

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March 4, 2015 · 6:58 pm

COLLEGE BASKETBALL POSTSEASON ACTION

* MIDLANDS COLLEGIATE ATHLETIC CONFERENCE *

Bellevue BruinsCHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The MCAC Tournament consists of a North and South Division, with the winner of each division playing each other for the conference title. The North Champs – the BELLEVUE UNIVERSITY BRUINS did battle with the South Champs – the COLLEGE OF THE OZARKS BOBCATS. The Bruins had seized a slight 41-39 edge at Halftime in this true battle of champions. The Bobcats tied it up at 78-78 to end Regulation and in Overtime Taylor Young – who had 25 points for Bellevue – nailed a buzzer-beater to give the Bruins a 91-89 triumph! * THE BRUINS MOVE ON TO THE NAIA NATIONAL TOURNAMENT! *   Continue reading →

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March 4, 2015 · 3:21 pm

THE FOOD OF THE GODS (1976) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Food of the Gods 2Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault! In the middle 1980’s, way down on Level 31 Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class hosted this neglected cult show. Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of the program’s 30th anniversary year.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Sometime in 1985, possibly February or March. Still trying to narrow it down further so anyone who has information please contact me via my FAQ page. Some info points to this being the first episode in which Randy and Richard used their machine guns and “prop-pack” mini-copters to fight giant rats from deep in the Earth.

Given how central the giant rats would be going forward IF this can be verified it would make this a pretty pivotal episode of The Texas 27 Film Vault.

SERIAL: IF the February or March of 1985 date is correct – and that’s still up in the air – then the serial episode would definitely have been from The Lost City (1935).

Texas 27 Film Vault posterCOMEDY SKETCHES: The Film Vault Corps (“The few, the proud, the sarcastic”), led by Randy, Richard and Ken “Tex” Miller taking on the first of many packs of giant rats. The effects, models and dolls of the human figures would – for humor’s sake – have been INTENTIONALLY as cheesy as the kind Bert I Gordon used in The Food of the Gods and so many of his other “gigantic  monster” films.  

OTHER HOST SEGMENTS: A look at the many, MANY “size change” movies of Bert I Gordon, “Mister B.I.G.” himself. ( Amazing Colossal Man, Attack of the Puppet People, Earth vs  the Spider, Beginning of the End, War of the Colossal Beast, The Cyclops, Village of the Giants, Empire of the Ants, etc)  

THE MOVIE: Continue reading →

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March 3, 2015 · 7:14 pm

COLLEGE BASKETBALL POSTSEASON ACTION CONTINUES

* CALIFORNIA PACIFIC CONFERENCE *

cmkeelhaulersCHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The CAL MARITIME ACADEMY KEELHAULERS lived up to their top seeding in the California Pacific Conference Tournament. The 2 seeds – the SIMPSON UNIVERSITY RED HAWKS – put up a terrific fight in this title game. At Halftime the Keelhaulers were clinging to a 35-34 edge and the 2nd Half was just as much of a back and forth affair as Regulation ended in a 71-71 tie. In Overtime Cal Maritime at last flexed its muscles and emerged with an 85-76 win! * THE KEELHAULERS ADVANCE TO THE NAIA NATIONAL TOURNAMENT ON MARCH 11th! *   Continue reading →

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March 3, 2015 · 5:38 pm

MALDOROR 6: THE BLOOD AND TEARS OF A CHILD

Maldoror 2Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of The Songs of Maldoror, the neglected 1868 masterpiece of surreal horror written by Isidore Ducasse, the self-designated Count de Lautreamont. As I’ve mentioned previously this 1868 work was so far ahead of its time it is still considered disturbing not only for its violence and demented sexuality but also for its vehement assault on religion and its overall tone.  

The Blood and Tears of a Child is the title I have chosen for this 6th poem from The Songs of Maldoror. I will be assigning unofficial titles to each poem for the sake of clarity and for easier cross-referencing. Titles will work better in the memory since otherwise we have only the poem numbers to go by. My unofficial titles should be more efficient than having to refer to a section of the book as “the part where Maldoror is crucified and his testicles are full of spiders” or such.  

THE BLOOD AND TEARS OF A CHILD

This section begins with our mysterious, once-human figure Maldoror rhapsodizing about how wonderful it is to let one’s fingernails grow for fifteen days (shades of Coffin Joe or Freddy Krueger’s bladed glove). He considers it the perfect length for plunging them into the breast of a child you’ve snatched from its bed. He cautions against killing the child outright, so that its long-term suffering can be better enjoyed.

Blindfolding the child first is a must, the monster maintains, because after days of slashing the child’s flesh from its body and breaking the child’s bones Maldoror enjoys slipping away, then returning to the torture room pretending to be a good Samaritan rescuing the child. Continue reading →

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March 3, 2015 · 3:10 am

MUSLIM “SCHOLAR” SAYS THE SUN REVOLVES AROUND THE EARTH

Bandar al-Khaibari blinding us with science!

Bandar al-Khaibari blinding us with science!

Yes, it’s another one for the “Muslim Fanatics Say The Darnedest Things” File. Islamic Scholar (an oxymoron if ever there was one) Bandar Al-Khaibari was lecturing a UNIVERSITY audience in the United Arab Emirates about how the NASA lunar mission was a hoax and nobody has ever been to the moon. If that type of thinking is the end result of Obama’s 2009 command to NASA to concentrate on “Muslim Outreach” we can definitely say it was as successful as any of Obama’s other fawning overtures to the intolerant and socially retarded Muslim World.  

Bandar was just warming up, however, and was soon prattling on about how the Earth stays in one position while the sun and planets revolve around it. Al-Khaibari’s explanation was a tour de force of superstition and misunderstood science. The “Muslim Scholar” (LMFAO) argued that if the Earth moved,  then when airplanes took off the Earth would leave the aircraft behind in empty space with nothing beneath them to land on. “Nailed it!” he no doubt thought to himself.   Continue reading →

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March 2, 2015 · 10:35 pm

COLLEGE BASKETBALL CONFERENCE & REGIONAL TOURNAMENT RESULTS

* MIDWEST COLLEGIATE CONFERENCE *

Mount Mercy University MustangsCHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The top seeded MOUNT MERCY UNIVERSITY MUSTANGS did battle with the 3rd seeded WILLIAM PENN UNIVERSITY STATESMEN for the MCC title yesterday. The Mustangs prevented the Statesmen from winning their 3rd conference tournament crown in a row, defeating them handily by a final score of 93-76. James Boonstoppel and Kyle Lamaak each had 20 points for Mount Mercy University.   * THE MUSTANGS MOVE ON TO THE NAIA NATIONAL TOURNAMENT! *   Continue reading →

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March 2, 2015 · 7:22 pm

MERINA MYTHS: THE DEMIGOD RARAKY

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RARAKY – The Merina demigod of tobacco. Raraky (sometimes called Paraky) was the only son of the blessed Merina man Andriamitandrina and his wife. Raraky grew ill and neither medicine nor prayers to the gods could save him. After he died his family debated what to do with the corpse. Some counciled eating him like food in order to feel that he was still with them. Others advocated hanging the body in their home in order to feel that he was still with them. Continue reading →

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