Monthly Archives: September 2012

DJANGO: THE DEFINITIVE BIOGRAPHY

 Yes, with the upcoming release of Quentin Tarantino’s reboot of the Django saga in his western Django Unchained, it’s been a veritable Djangofest here at Balladeer’s Blog.  

In the style of my Frontierado Sagas here’s a thoroughly tongue- in-cheek biography of the most famous Spaghetti Western hero of them all.

The Wild West gunfighter known to the world as Django blazed his way into the annals of history first as a Jayhawker, then as a Union soldier in the Civil War and finally as a bounty hunter.

His blood-feud with the former Confederate officer Major Edward F Jackson over the death of Django’s first wife is as well-known as the clash between the Clantons and the Earps in Tombstone, AZ. Movies have distorted many of the facts of this legendary gunman’s life just as they have with other western figures like Doc Holliday, Billy the Kid and many others. The many films about Django feature wildly contradictory information and part of the purpose of this biography will be to illustrate the true events underlying the cinematic myths about this operatic figure.

The real name of the man eventually known as Django was Continue reading

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NOTEWORTHY COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM SEPTEMBER 15TH, 2012

COACH BEEZ WINS THE RACE TO 256 WINS – Congratulations to Hank Biesiot, the Head Coach of the DICKINSON STATE UNIVERSITY BLUE HAWKS (helmet at left) for notching a new career wins record in NAIA college football! Coach Beez was tied at 255 victories with the retired Frosty Westering and the still- active Kevin Donley of the ST FRANCIS (IN) COUGARS.

Coach Biesiot has a definite sense of the dramatic and logged the 256th triumph in a 21-20 nailbiter against the visiting MONTANA STATE UNIVERSITY- NORTHERN LIGHTS.

NUMBER ONE TAKES A FALL – The unranked BUFFALO STATE BENGALS accomplished the monumental task of handing a home defeat to the top-ranked defending champions of NCAA Division 3 football – the WHITEWATER WARHAWKS.

Fans stunned by the half-time score of a meager 3-0 in favor of UWW had that shock compounded by the 7-6 final score! The Bengals scored the winning touchdown with just 3.2 seconds left in the game. The loss snaps the 46 game winning streak the Warhawks had compiled. This result has seismic implications for the D3 picture going forward this season.

THE JIMMIES, THE EAGLES, THE FALCONS AND THE TIGERS RULE THE WORLD – Four NAIA teams kept alive their weekly tradition of upsetting NCAA Division TWO teams. – The JAMESTOWN COLLEGE JIMMIES (helmet at left) edged the SOUTH DAKOTA M&T HARDROCKERS in a 17-14 Instant Classic. A Ryan Benke field goal in OT won the game.   ###   The ROBERT MORRIS (IL) EAGLES vanquished the ST JOSEPH’S COLLEGE PUMAS  40-35.   ###   The FRIENDS FALCONS got in on the fun and beat the SOUTHERN NAZARENE CRIMSON STORM  17-7.   ###   Meanwhile, the EDWARD WATERS TIGERS proved the NAIA can upset D2 on the road as well as at home. The Tigers survived a very tough 42-36 contest against the LIVINGSTONE BLUE BEARS.  ###   ( Hey, D3! How come YOUR teams don’t beat D2 teams every week like the NAIA does? Had to be asked given the intense rivalry between the NAIA and NCAA Division 3)

TOP 25 UPSETS – NAIA – After last week’s monumental toppling of the number 2 team in the rankings this week was very mild, featuring just one minor upset in the rankings. That upset was provided by the Great Plains Athletic Conference.

The 17th ranked NORTHWESTERN COLLEGE RED RAIDERS brought down the number 16 DOANE TIGERS, doubling up on them 28-14. 

TOP 25 UPSETS – D2 – The UNIVERSITY OF FINDLAY OILERS went on the road and played Red Adair by dousing the 9th ranked SAGINAW VALLEY STATE CARDINALS in a 29-27 nailbiter.   ###   The unlucky number 13 TEXAS A&M- KINGSVILLE JAVELINAS fell on the road to the Continue reading

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FAQ’S ABOUT THE HOMOPHOBIC AND MISOGYNIST SAVAGERY OF THE MUSLIM WORLD

” Youtube videos are creations of the devil and have caused every act of Muslim violence going back for centuries!”

 It’s your old buddy Balladeer, but you can just call me “the puppet of Jews” like Muslim fanatics do. With the barbaric and backward Muslim world proving yet again that it is incapable of coexisting with the modern world and with the weak and inept little man in the White House pretending Youtube videos justify killing people it seemed like a good time to address some Frequently Asked Questions about the hate-filled and blood-soaked religion called Islam’s latest attempts to intimidate people. So let’s look at a few FAQ’s about The Religion of Perpetual Outrage.

Q: Are you one of those cowardly non-believers who will only criticize Christianity while giving Islam a free pass? 

A: No, I criticize all religions and regard them all as fascinating mythology that should never be taken literally. Muslims are the only ones who violently insist their religion should be above that sort of criticism.

Q: Isn’t it, like, mean ‘n’ stuff to criticize somebody’s religion?

A: No, it’s only rational to subject all of the world’s religions to criticism and satirical irreverence. Other religions, especially Christianity, have to put up with it on a daily basis and their practitioners may complain but they remain civilized and don’t kill anybody or burn down buildings or launch make- believe “spontaneous” riots over it. Islam and Islam alone reacts in this barbaric and unacceptable way which does nothing but make people despise Islam even more than they already do.

Q: Is it appropriate to grovelingly point out ad nauseum that not every man, woman and child who practices Islam is participating in this murderous rampage?

A: No. That is just an argument used by people trying to justify their own gutlessness. You’ll notice those same people don’t point out to Muslims that “not all Christians” or “not all Americans” made Youtube videos critical of Islam. Those spineless people only use such arguments to pretend they are taking a principled stance by siding with Islam. It helps them avoid facing up to how craven their behavior really is.

Q: What would it take to Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

COLLEGE FOOTBALL ACTION: SEPTEMBER 15TH, 2012

The NAIA’s top-ranked defending champions, the Saint Xavier University Cougars (logo at right) are hosting the Langston Lions today. As for clashes between two ranked teams today the NAIA gives us the number 3 Georgetown (KY) Tigers on the road against the (24) Lindsey Wilson College Blue Raiders, the 9th ranked Saint Ambrose University Fighting Bees hosting the number 23 Taylor Trojans, the (19) Rocky Mountain College Battlin’ Bears traveling to face the (12) CC Fighting Saints and the (17) Northwestern (IA) Red Raiders welcoming the (16) Doane Tigers.

The 20th ranked Montana Tech Orediggers, who had THE upset of last weekend by bringing down then- number 2 Carroll College, are on the road facing Frontier Conference rivals the Montana Western Bulldogs. Meanwhile history may be made today as Coach Hank Biesiot of the Dickinson State Blue Hawks goes for win number 256 against the MSU- Northern Lights. Coach Beez is tied at 255 wins with the retired Frosty Westering and Coach Kevin Donley of the St Francis (IN) Cougars. Donley’s boys are off today, so since the 0-2 Blue Hawks host the 0-2 Lights this may be the struggling Biesiot’s best chance to pull ahead of Donley for total career wins in the NAIA … at least for a week.

All this plus dozens of matchups in NCAA Divisions 2 and 3 plus the NJCAA and CCCAA. As always Balladeer’s Blog will Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: FOR YOUR HEIGHT ONLY (1981)

Weng Weng and Lola

Weng Weng and Lola

FOR YOUR HEIGHT ONLY (1981) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9– sized cult following.

I’ve been delaying reviewing this hilariously bizarre film for years. It’s just so chock full of inane dialogue and WTF moments that it’s a challenge to write a review that isn’t novel-length.

For the essentials: this is a Philippine action movie starring the midget novelty celebrity named Weng Weng as Secret Agent OO (yes, Double O). It sounds like a comedy but what makes it great is that IT’S NOT! It’s played seriously and features Weng Weng using firearms and fancy gadgets like James Bond, engaging in martial arts fights like Bruce Lee, drooling over regular-sized women like Herve Villaichez, sword- fighting as skillfully as Zatoichi and sporting a poorly- concealed bald spot like Ryen Russillo. 

Weng Weng works for an outfit called simply “The Secret Agency”, so I’m guessing it’s one of those generic intelligence services that is MUCH cheaper than name brands. Hell, the head of the Continue reading

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MUSLIM WORLD PROUDLY REMAINS THE LAND OF SUPERSTITIOUS SAVAGERY

I don’t recall Christians committing acts of violence en masse when tax dollars financed anti- Christian works like the photo of the crucifix soaked in urine or of figures from Christian mythology sculpted in feces. 

When Jesus, the central figure of Christian myths gets mocked and is virtually a recurring character on shows like South Park nobody gets killed and there are no savage masses of Christians storming buildings over it. 

When cowards like Ricky Gervais pretend to be “edgy” by posing as Jesus on the cover of a magazine no Christian mobs fill the streets carrying out acts of violence.

No, superstitious savagery like that is perpetuated in the Muslim world alone, just as Islam is the most homophobic, misogynist and backward belief system in the world. 

The press coverage of the latest barbaric behavior from the Muslim world is typically cowardly and is loaded with snide references to “the Israeli American” who made a film treating Islam with the kind of irreverence that Christianity gets treated with on a daily basis.

There is even a Broadway comedy called The Book of Mormon, ridiculing Mormon beliefs but since Mormons are civilized there were no Continue reading

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Filed under Milestones In Stupidity, opinion

BALLADEER’S BLOG’S COLLEGE FOOTBALL RANKINGS: WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 9TH

Balladeer’s Blog presents its college football rankings for the week.

NAIA ( National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) – 1. Saint Xavier University Cougars (defending champs)  ###  2. Georgetown (KY) Tigers  ###  3. Marian University Knights  ###  4. Missouri Valley College Vikings  ###  5. Morningside Mustangs  ###  6. William Penn University Statesmen (for the rankings from 7-25 see below)

NCAA Division 2 – 1. Pittsburg (KS) State Gorillas (defending champs)  ###  2. Grand Valley State University Lakers  ###  3. University of Minnesota at Duluth Bulldogs  ###  4. California (PA) University Vulcans  ###  5. Missouri Western Griffons  ###  T6. Colorado State University at Pueblo Thunder Wolves  ###  T6. Continue reading

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SEPTEMBER 11TH ANNIVERSARY: LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND 9-11

For a non-believer and Indy Voter like me this is the ideal day to point out that there is no god named Allah and Muhammad was a false prophet. Islam is at LEAST as blood-soaked as any other religion and it is definitely the most homophobic and misogynistic religion in the world at this particular point in history.

Here is Balladeer’s Blog’s September 11th Anniversary post, in which I examine the way Liberal fanatics and Conservative fanatics would have dealt with events IF the 9-11 attacks had been thwarted.

Several years ago a big deal was made over whether or not the 9-11 attacks could have been prevented by greater coordination between elements of the intelligence community. Amid the predictable partisan bickering and childish finger- pointing that characterized the 9-11 Commision and its findings an important consideration was overlooked.

That consideration was how events would have unfolded if the attacks had actually been thwarted. Let’s take a quick look at both the Liberal idiocy and the Conservative idiocy that would have followed. 

THE LIBERAL IDIOCY – The insecure American Left always feels that the only Continue reading

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NOTEWORTHY COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM SEPTEMBER 8TH, 2012

HISTORY ON HOLD – The 20th- ranked ST AMBROSE UNIVERSITY FIGHTING BEES were on the road against the (6) ST FRANCIS (IN) COUGARS, whose Head Coach Kevin Donley was going for the all-time NAIA wins record.

Donley will stay tied with Hank Biesiot and Frosty Westering at 255 wins for at least one more week. The Fighting Bees (love that name) out of Davenport, IA walked away with the victory in this 15-14 Instant Classic.

NUMBER TWO TAKES A FALL! – The unranked MONTANA TECH OREDIGGERS (helmet at left) shocked the nation yesterday by rising up to defeat the 2nd ranked CARROLL COLLEGE FIGHTING SAINTS!

And this was no flukish, last- minute, hold on by the seat of their pants upset, either! The Orediggers (love that name, too) won this victory over the NAIA’s most famous football dynasty by an impressive 37-20.

LENOIR- RHYNE RULES THE WORLD – The LENOIR- RHYNE UNIVERSITY BEARS (helmet at left) upset the DIVISION ONE team the DAVIDSON WILDCATS.

The Bears logged their first win of the 2012 season in this milestone home stand. They mauled the Wildcats and toyed with them at will in this 20-2 rout that the Lenoir- Rhyne faithful will be boasting about for some time to come.

TOP 25 UPSETS – NAIA – The 9th- ranked MISSOURI VALLEY COLLEGE VIKINGS (helmet at left) upset the (5) MIDAMERICA NAZARENE UNIVERSITY PIONEERS in their own house in a commanding 41-7 butt-kicking.  ###  The unranked KANSAS WESLEYAN COYOTES brought down the visiting number 11 team, the OTTAWA (KS) UNIVERSITY BRAVES in a 31-28 Instant Classic.  ###  The BACONE WARRIORS improved to 2-1 with a 19-0 road win over the (22) LANGSTON LIONS.  ###  … and the ever-tough MCPHERSON BULLDOGS brought down the 24th- ranked BETHANY COLLEGE SWEDES 14-0.

TOP 25 UPSETS – D2 – The CENTRAL MISSOURI MULES stunned perennial D2 football powers the (3) NORTHWEST MISSOURI BEARCATS by a score of 31-21.  ###  The TARLETON STATE TEXANS toppled the number 5 MIDWESTERN STATE MUSTANGS in a 20-17 game for the ages.  ###  The 23rd- ranked TAMK JAVELINAS (where NFL Hall of Famer Darrel Green played his college ball) notched a road upset over the Continue reading

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SEPTEMBER 8TH’S COLLEGE FOOTBALL MATCHUPS

Today the NAIA’s number 1 team, the St Xavier University Cougars (defending champions) welcome the 7th- ranked St Francis (IL) Fighting Saints in an early season test for Coach Mike Feminis’ Cougars.

In NCAA Division 2 their top-ranked defending champs, the Pittsburg (KS) State Gorillas, are hosting the Central Oklahoma Bronchos (their spelling) while in Division 3 the 1 and 2 teams are off but the Continue reading

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