Tag Archives: Balladeer’s Blog

SCARTICIA (1971-1975) BAD MOVIE HOSTESS

SCARTICIA – From 1971 to 1975 Annette Stutzman starred as the witch Scarticia, hostess of Horrible Movie late Saturday nights on WAPT-TV in Jackson, MS.  Stutzman also worked as the personal secretary of the station manager.

Scarticia, the Mistress of the Night, would welcome her viewers every week with the words “Greetings, animals” and close each show by saying “Pleasant nightmares.” The witch’s main sidekick to abuse was her gravedigger Scoop Gravely, played by famous local DJ Ed Hobgood (lower right).

Filling in for Scoop from time to time was Dr. Choke Throttle, a vampire mad scientist played by Marvin Gardens, who also worked on the show’s set, did Scarticia’s makeup and served as cameraman. As usual, the can’t-miss format of Bad Movies presented by a sarcastic host or hostess and their sidekicks became a hit.

Soon, Jackson, MS teens and 20-somethings began holding Horrible Movie viewing parties on Saturday nights. Inevitably, hundreds of fan letters began pouring in every week.

Part of what made Scarticia and company stand out was the way they made many of their Host Segments as parodies of the iconic program Dark Shadows. What comedies like Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman and Soap were to traditional soap operas, those Horrible Movie sketches were to the Gothic horror soap with Barnabas Collins, etc.    Continue reading

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FORGOTTEN TELEVISION: PAT MORITA AS OHARA (1987-1988)

OHARA (1987-1988) – In this 1-hour detective show’s case “Ohara” is NOT O’Hara and is instead a Japanese-American cop played by the venerable Pat Morita, who also co-created the program. During its run Ohara went through THREE changes of format, starting out with a very innovative approach before poor ratings prompted desperate network scrambling for tired old approaches.

The first name of Morita’s character was never revealed on the show, and he was basically a “gimmick” character. Ohara was a Los Angeles police detective who initially worked without a partner and preferred meditation and soft-spoken interrogations to the cliched Tough Cop techniques. Our hero often cooked Japanese meals for guests to his home, incorporating Pat Morita’s own culinary enthusiasms into the show. Continue reading

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INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS (1973) BAD MOVIE REVIEW

INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS (1973) – Category: More weird than bad, but with a classic premise and execution  

This little honey (sorry) is the perfect example of why I prefer bad movies from the 1980s and earlier: because back then they played them straight and weren’t constantly making self-aware jokes to the audience. If this movie had been made more recently it would have been INTENTIONALLY cheesy and goofy, like the Killer Condom flicks or the Gingerdead Man movies.

Invasion of the Bee Girls plays like a sexploitation version of The X-Files long before that show was on the air. The hero of the movie is a State Department investigator played by cult figure William Smith, known from the tv series Laredo and from countless exploitation flicks like Black Samson to the “Hell’s Angels Fighting the Vietnam War” biker movie The Losers. The film’s screenwriter was THE Nicholas Meyer of Star Trek II and The Seven Percent Solution fame. Herb “The Worm Eaters” Robbins also shows up onscreen.

William Smith’s character, Neil Agar, is sent to California to investigate why a scientist involved in top secret government research dropped dead under suspicious circumstances – he died of apparent sexual exhaustion and people nearby swear they heard a sound like bees buzzing at Continue reading

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THE ORPHIC ARGONAUTICA: PART FIVE

Balladeer’s Blog continues examining this Orphic variation of the Quest for the Golden Fleece. PART ONE HERE. PART TWO HERE. PART THREE HERE. PART FOUR HERE

Having obtained the Golden Fleece, Jason, Orpheus and the rest of the Argonauts fled Colchis immediately on board the Argo. King Aeetes’ daughter Medea fled with them because she fell in love with Jason and defied her father to enable the theft of the Golden Fleece.   

Medea took her brother Absyrtus along and as their father Aeetes’ and his crew were about to overtake the Argo at sea, the dark sorceress Medea murdered Absyrtus, chopped his body into several pieces and scattered those pieces on the waves.

King Aeetes had to break off pursuit so he and his crew could fish up the various fragments of his son’s corpse for proper funeral rites.

NOTE: Though some versions of this epic have the people called the Minyae transform the floating remains into the two Absyrtides Islands, this Orphic variation presents the dismemberment and gathering of body parts as an allegory for the saga of Zagreus tinged with Osiris parallels.

     In Orphism, Zagreus is the supreme deity and combines aspects of Dionysus and Zeus. I will explore the concept in more depth as I delve more thoroughly into Orphism in the future. Continue reading

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AIHEC CHAMPIONSHIP AND NJCAA1 SEMIFINALS

AMERICAN INDIAN HIGHER EDUCATION CONSORTIUM

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The defending champs – the NORTHWEST INDIAN COLLEGE EAGLES – squared off against the STONE CHILD COLLEGE BEAR PAWS. NWIC may be establishing a dynasty. The Eagles dominated thoroughly on both sides of the ball from start to finish and when the dust finally settled, they had defeated the Bear Paws 90-64.

NJCAA DIVISION ONE

FIRST SEMIFINAL – The COLLEGE OF SOUTHERN IDAHO GOLDEN EAGLES played the GULF COAST STATE COMMODORES in this game. The Golden Eagles clung to a 38-36 edge come Halftime. After the break, CSI outscored the Commodores 44-34 to win out 82-70. Jalen Lyn led Southern Idaho with 24 points. Continue reading

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CHALLENGERS OF THE UNKNOWN: EARLY ADVENTURES

This weekend’s light-hearted, escapist superhero post from Balladeer’s Blog looks at DC’s team of adventurers called the Challengers of the Unknown.

SHOWCASE Vol 1 #6 (Feb 1957)

Title: The Secret of the Sorcerer’s Box

Villains: Morelian and creatures from Pandora’s Box

Synopsis: In this origin story, wrestling champion Rocky Davis, scuba diving marine biologist Professor Walter Haley, war veteran jet pilot Ace Morgan and circus daredevil Red Ryan miraculously survive a plane crash. Deciding that the odds of them surviving were so low they consider themselves living on borrowed time. They devote themselves to challenging the unknown.

After attracting publicity over some minor escapades, the Challengers of the Unknown are hired by millionaire Mr. Morelian to open Pandora’s Box and survive. Our heroes take the box to a remote desert island and open the relic.

The Challengers defeat the menaces unleashed by Pandora’s Box – a giant lizard, a miniature sun, a giant stone warrior and more. With the dangers eliminated, Morelian steals the ring he wanted from the box and flees, only to die when his escape craft crashes. Continue reading

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AMERICA 250: 1826 MONTH BY MONTH

America’s 250th birthday is coming up in July, so over the next few months Balladeer’s Blog will take a look at the anniversary years 1826, 1876, 1926 and 1976.

1826

U.S. President: John Quincy Adams    Vice President: John C. Calhoun    Speaker of the House: John W. Taylor    Chief Justice: John Marshall   

Number of Senators: 48    Number of House Representatives: 213    Number of Supreme Court Justices: 6

JANUARY

1st – Louis Moreau Gottschalk, famous American composer and pianist, is born.

5th – Maryland makes it law for the state to finance primary education for all, and also grants Jews the right to vote.

18th – In New Orleans, LA the Louisiana State Gazette aka Gazette d’etat begins daily publication.

24th – The Treaty of Washington between the U.S. and the Creek Nation is signed.

26th – Future First Lady Julia Dent Grant is born. 

FEBRUARY

4th – James Fenimore Cooper’s novel The Last of the Mohicans, the 2nd book of what is now known as The Leatherstocking Tales, is published.

5th – Future President Millard Fillmore married Abigail Powers. Continue reading

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ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION: THE CITY OF SPIDERS (1926)

THE CITY OF SPIDERS (1926) – Short story by H. Warner Munn. This quasi-Creature Feature type tale featured biologist Jabez Pentreat.

Jabez leads a scientific expedition into the jungles of Brazil. Nightly attacks by increasingly large and seemingly intelligent spiders plague the group, ultimately leading to the expedition members being surrounded by spiders the size of dogs.

Nightmarishly, the spiders are smart enough to herd the humans and various jungle animals toward a city ruled by arachnids which range from human-sized to elephant-sized. Continue reading

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NJCAA2 TITLE GAME AND NJCAA1 ELITE EIGHT SET

NJCAA DIVISION TWO

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – Fighting it out for the crown were the PARKLAND COLLEGE COBRAS and the ELLSWORTH COLLEGE PANTHERS. The Cobras had mustered a 35-28 advantage going into the locker room. After the break, Parkland College eked out a bit more separation from the favored Panthers as they won the game 76-68. Jaiden Martin’s THIRTY-FOUR points led the Cobras.

NJCAA DIVISION ONE

ELITE EIGHT: FIRST BERTH – The GULF COAST STATE COMMODORES played the INDIAN HILLS COLLEGE WARRIORS in this game. The Commodores put Indian Hills College on Upset Alert at Halftime with their 41-35 lead. From there, the Warriors rallied but fell just short as Gulf Coast State prevailed 72-70. The Commodores were led by Devontes Cobbs with 17 points. Continue reading

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MAZEPPA (1970-1973) BAD MOVIE HOST

MAZEPPA – No relation to Tchaikovsky’s opera Mazeppa, this blog post refers to comedian, artist and actor Gailard Sartain, who got his start playing the wizard Mazeppa (center left) while hosting Tulsa, Oklahoma’s late Saturday night Bad Movie show called The Uncanny Film Festival and Camp Meeting.

Triple features and anarchic comedy sketches were the name of the game as Mazeppa and his figurative sorcerer’s apprentices Jim Millaway and THE Gary Busey presented So-Bad-They’re-Good movies, old Universal classics, and musicals from Busby Berkeley to 1950s rock and roll flicks. (Though Tulsa viewers rebelled against the Busby Berkeley musicals according to a 1971 interview with Gailard.)

In between films came old educational shorts, black & white sci-fi shows, weird cartoons, you name it. It was like a countrified forerunner of Night Flight from later decades.

Long time readers of Balladeer’s Blog may remember that when I reviewed the bad 1973 horror film Hex in 2011 I mentioned how that flick’s co-star Gary Busey had moved on to movies after his stint as the wizard Mazeppa’s sidekick. I also resolved to review Mazeppa’s show. Good thing nobody held their breath.

And let’s quickly address the nice coincidence of Mazeppa and Busey’s character Teddy Jack Eddy hosting campy rock and roll movies like Don’t Knock the Rock, Untamed Youth or Shake, Rattle and Rock only for Busey to go on to play Buddy Holly and Sartain to play the Big Bopper in The Buddy Holly Story.      Continue reading

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