BALLADEER’S BLOG’S COLLEGE FOOTBALL RANKINGS: OCTOBER 17TH

NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) – 1. GEORGETOWN (KY) TIGERS    ###    2. MARIAN UNIVERSITY KNIGHTS    ###    3. WILLIAM PENN UNIVERSITY STATESMEN (helmet at left)    ###    4. MISSOURI VALLEY COLLEGE VIKINGS    ###    5. SAINT XAVIER UNIVERSITY COUGARS (defending champions)    ###    T6. CC FIGHTING SAINTS    ###    T6. MORNINGSIDE MUSTANGS

NCCAA (National Christian College Athletic Association) – 1. KENTUCKY CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY KNIGHTS (helmet at left)    ###    2. NORTHWESTERN COLLEGE RED RAIDERS    ###    3. GREENVILLE COLLEGE PANTHERS (2011 Victory Bowl runners-up)    ###    4. SHORTER UNIVERSITY HAWKS    ###    5. CHOWAN Continue reading →

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HALLOWEEN READING: THE KING IN YELLOW (1895)

THE KING IN YELLOW

If you’re like me you’re sick to death of the flood of vampire and zombie stories in recent decades. It’s gotten unbelievably monotonous. When it comes to Goths in particular you just want to shake them and scream “There’s more to Gothic horror than just vampires!”

In that spirit and in keeping with my blog’s overall theme here’s a look at an 1895 work of Gothic horror that is among my favorite Halloween reading material, The King in Yellow by Robert W Chambers. This unjustly neglected book was praised by H.P. Lovecraft himself and has been called America’s most influential volume of horror between Poe and the moderns.

The King in Yellow is a collection of short stories in which a published but unperformed play, also titled The King in Yellow, brings madness and death to anyone who reads it. Daring to peruse the pages of this damnable drama also makes the reader susceptible to attacks from the sinister minions of the eponymous King, who rules over his own private Hell like Freddy Krueger rules over the Dream Dimension. Here, then, are the Continue reading →

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NOTEWORTHY COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM OCTOBER 13TH, 2012

NUMBER ONE TAKES A FALL – NCAA Division 2’s top-ranked defending champs, the PITTSBURG (KS) STATE GORILLAS, faced conference rivals and perennial D2 football powers the (7) NORTHWEST MISSOURI BEARCATS (helmet at left) in the REAL Fall Classic yesterday. These two gridiron juggernauts always treat us to a hard-fought matchup at neutral Arrowhead Stadium and yesterday was no exception. The Bearcats emerged with a 31-21 victory, setting up a new number 1 in the next rankings.

THE BACONE WARRIORS RULE THE WORLD – For the 3rd college football season in a row Balladeer’s Blog has been chronicling the NAIA tradition of upsetting at least one NCAA Division 2 team per week. For newbies to these divisions that is like when a 1AA team upsets a 1A team.

For this week’s installment the NAIA’s BACONE WARRIORS (helmet at left) dismantled D2’s PANHANDLE STATE UNIVERSITY AGGIES by a score of 40-7.

NUMBER THREE TAKES A FALL – The 3rd ranked team in NCAA Division 2 also got toppled yesterday. In a Show Me State showdown the unranked MISSOURI SOUTHERN LIONS took it on the road and eked out a 31-30 victory over the MISSOURI WESTERN GRIFFONS in an undeniable Instant Classic. The number 2 CSU- PUEBLO THUNDER WOLVES are the presumptive new number 1 with their 35-21 road win over the COLORADO MINES OREDIGGERS.

TOP 25 UPSETS – NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) – The CONCORDIA (NE) BULLDOGS improved to 4-3 by rising up and defeating the visiting number 11 team, the NORTHWESTERN (IA) RED RAIDERS in a 17-16 game for the ages.   ###   The FAULKNER EAGLES unleashed their sound and fury on the 16th ranked CUMBERLAND UNIVERSITY BULLDOGS in a 42-14 thrashing.   ###   … And the unranked SOUTHWESTERN COLLEGE MOUNDBUILDERS knocked the number 25 FRIENDS FALCONS out of the rankings in a 32-21 homestand.  

TOP 25 UPSETS – NCAA Division 2 – In addition to the number 1 and number 3 teams in D2 taking a tumble there were two more upsets in the rankings. The number 14 GRAND VALLEY STATE LAKERS got crushed on the road by the NORTHERN MICHIGAN WILDCATS  38-10.   ###   The UNIVERSITY OF CENTRAL OKLAHOMA BRONCHOS (their spelling) played road warriors by bringing down the 23rd ranked CENTRAL MISSOURI MULES in a 10-6 defensive epic.   ###   The number 6 NEW HAVEN CHARGERS had a close call at Continue reading →

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THE TOP 11 NEGLECTED BAD MOVIE CLASSICS FOR HALLOWEEN

The less than frightening title menaces from Attack of the Beast Creatures (1983)

Laughing at bad movies is one of the greatest pleasures in life. Regular readers of Balladeer’s  Blog are very familiar with my Bad Movie page where I focus on various film flops that I feel deserve larger audiences because of how dementedly enjoyable they are. Since it’s the Halloween Season this list will present eleven of the most neglected bad horror movie classics, many of which deserve Plan 9- sized cult followings. These are short takes. For my full-length reviews of these and other cinematic turkeys see my Bad Movie page. https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

MORE HALLOWEEN MOVIE TREATS: MEXICAN MONSTERS https://glitternight.com/2011/10/31/a-halloween-mexi-monster-bestiary/

BLAXPLOITATION HORROR: https://glitternight.com/2011/10/26/a-very-blaxploitation-halloween/

11. THE LIFT (1983) – A killer elevator is the unique menace in this joyously absurd horror film from the Netherlands. A heroic elevator repairman tries to stop the bloody reign of terror of a sentient elevator which the movie’s ads described as “the perfect killing machine”. (?)

10. ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES (1983) – The surviving passengers and crew of a sunken luxury liner find themselves on an uncharted island full of ponds and streams that dissolve human flesh. The island is home to the Continue reading →

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COOL FOOTBALL HELMET: AUSTIN COLLEGE

 AUSTIN COLLEGE KANGAROOS

Location: Sherman, TX

Division: NCAA Division 3

Comment: You can’t help but wonder if even the kangaroos are bigger in Texas. Seriously, though, how Continue reading →

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LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND PUNDITS

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only Independent Voter site on the web that bashes Liberals and Conservatives equally. Only the most fanatical Liberals and Conservatives are still denying that every single news outlet is completely biased, either in favor of the left or the right. The political prejudices of every single “news” source are blatantly obvious and are as much fun to laugh at as bad movies are. REMEMBER: EVERY SINGLE NEWS SOURCE HERE IN THE U.S. IS JUST A LIBERAL PROPAGANDA OUTLET OR A CONSERVATIVE PROPAGANDA OUTLET. Here are four of the most laughable examples of American political pundits, two from each end of the political spectrum.

michael medved

Want to beat Michael Dukakis? Medved’s got the answers!

4. MICHAEL MEDVED – I think it was in Bedtime for Bonzo that Ronald Reagan expressed the Commandment he is best known for: “No bad movie lover shalt attack another bad movie lover.” But since I always felt as much contempt for Reagan as I feel for Barack Obama I’ll just break that commandment.

Michael Medved was coauthor of the two Golden Turkey Awards booklets and of The Hollywood Hall of Shame plus other landmark books for bad movie lovers. Medved even addressed Manos, The Hands of Fate years before it became a cult item in 1993. He was also one of the 1960’s Liberals who (rightly) grew disgusted with his generation’s irrational way of clinging to their increasingly outdated worldview and tiresome racebaiting.

Unfortunately, Medved went too far and became an actual conservative. His radio show is a bastion of hilarious right-wing gibberish and Continue reading →

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BALLADEER’S BLOG’S COLLEGE FOOTBALL RANKINGS: OCTOBER 9TH

NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) – 1. GEORGETOWN (KY) TIGERS (helmet at left)    ###    2. MARIAN UNIVERSITY KNIGHTS    ###    3. WILLIAM PENN UNIVERSITY STATESMEN    ###    4. MISSOURI VALLEY COLLEGE VIKINGS    ###    5. SAINT XAVIER UNIVERSITY COUGARS (defending champions)    ###    6. CC FIGHTING SAINTS

NCCAA (National Christian College Athletic Association) – 1. NORTHWESTERN COLLEGE RED RAIDERS (helmet at left)    ###    2. SHORTER UNIVERSITY HAWKS    ###    3. KENTUCKY CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY KNIGHTS    ###    4. GREENVILLE COLLEGE PANTHERS (2011 Victory Bowl runners-up)    ###   5. MCMURRY WARHAWKS    ###    6. CHOWAN Continue reading →

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THE WEIRD, WEIRD WEST: HORROR FILMS WITH A WESTERN THEME

With Halloween approaching Balladeer’s Blog is doing its usual holiday-themed posts. This time around I’ll give a brief synopsis of western-flavored horror flicks. In keeping with my blog’s theme of covering out of the way topics I won’t be examining movies that are too well known, like Billy the Kid vs Dracula, Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter or The Terror of Tiny Town. Ditto for more recent movies like Sundown and Billy The Kid in Hell. As for West World and Welcome to Blood City, those are more science fiction than horror, so they aren’t included either.  

black noonBLACK NOON (1971) – Roy Thinnes stars as an old west preacher who falls in with a coven of witches in the town of Melas (Salem spelled backwards of course).

The witches tempt Thinnes into thinking he’s a prophet and healer, then use his vanity against him and his wife during their dark ritual of the Black Noon, which takes place during a mid-day eclipse.

CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN (1974) –  A medical student and his hippy friends try to renovate a dude ranch haunted by the Headless Horseman. No, it’s not the figure from the Washington Irving tale, but an old-west gunslinger who was unjustly hanged, losing his head in the process. The Horseman now roams the dude ranch by night looking for victims to frighten. SPOILER: The Continue reading →

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NOTEWORTHY COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM OCTOBER 6TH, 2012

NUMBER TWO TAKES A FALL – For the second week in a row the number 2 team in the NCAA Division 2 rankings has suffered an upset. The FERRIS STATE BULLDOGS (helmet at left) came into yesterday’s game unranked and faced with the daunting task of competing with the most famous football dynasty in D2 history – the 2nd ranked GRAND VALLEY STATE UNIVERSITY LAKERS. The Bulldogs ignored all the naysayers and delivered a 40-24 spanking to the Lakers in their own house.

SAINT AMBROSE UNIVERSITY RULES THE WORLD – Just like during last season each Saturday brings us at least one NAIA team upsetting an NCAA Division 2 team. This week’s team to embrace that NAIA tradition was the SAINT AMBROSE UNIVERSITY FIGHTING BEES, who took it on the road and singed the feathers off the QUINCY HAWKS by a score of 34-18. For newbies to these divisions this is like when a 1AA team upsets a 1A team. (Or an FCS team upsets an FBS team if you’re a spineless conformist.)

TOP 25 UPSETS – NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) – The TABOR COLLEGE BLUE JAYS hosted the 20th ranked KANSAS WESLEYAN COYOTES and defeated them in a 56-31 manhandling.   ###   The number 22 MENLO OAKS fell at home to the WEBBER INTERNATIONAL WARRIORS in a nailbiting 19-14 battle which saw an east coast team bearding a west coast team in its own den.   ###   … And the unranked SOUTHERN OREGON RAIDERS dismembered the (24) EASTERN OREGON UNIVERSITY MOUNTAINEERS in a 68-22 laugher. 

TOP 25 UPSETS – NCAA DIVISION 2 – The WAYNE STATE WARRIORS (helmet at left) brought down the visiting number 12 team, the HILLSDALE CHARGERS, in a 24-21 Instant Classic. Who’s going to break the news to Michael Medved?   ###   The (23) UNIVERSITY OF SIOUX FALLS COUGARS were on the road against the WINONA STATE WARRIORS and lost in a 10-9 defensive epic.   ###   … And the unranked EAST STROUDSBURG WARRIORS upset the 24th ranked WEST CHESTER GOLDEN RAMS by a Continue reading →

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HALLOWEEN OPERA: TALES OF HOFFMANN

Tales of Hoffmann

Tales of Hoffmann

Yes, as if I wasn’t boring enough already I’m also into opera! Now, I know traditionally “the” Halloween Opera has always been Don Giovanni , but I’ve never bought into that notion since there’s really only one scene in the whole opera that qualifies as spooky and supernatural. At this time of year I prefer Offenbach’s Tales Of Hoffmann.

Not only is it full of appropriately eerie and menacing elements, but it’s also the perfect opera for you to share with someone who’s seeing their very first opera.

One of the reasons for that is that it’s in short segments, surrounded by a wraparound opening and finale. Offenbach adapts short stories written by E.T.A. Hoffmann, who in real life was a pre-Edgar Alan Poe author of eerie short stories in his native Austria during the 1800s. At any rate since this opera’s in short segments novices to the artform won’t have time to Continue reading →

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