The Michigan Wolverines football program, still mindlessly clinging to the late Bo Schembechler‘s words about having a Michigan man coach Michigan, have followed that outdated thinking to its logical conclusion and have raised ex-president and former Wolverines player Gerald Ford from the dead to be the team’s new coach. This after the team failed to land former Michigan player and new San Francisco 49’ers coach Jim Harbaugh as the replacement for outgoing coach Rich Rodriguez. Nobody denies that Rodriguez struggled but he certainly seemed to be turning things around, getting Continue reading
Category Archives: humor
GERALD FORD RETURNS FROM THE DEAD TO COACH THE MICHIGAN WOLVERINES
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THE BRETT FAVRE GUIDE TO DATING
Renaissance Man Brett Favre has many talents. He can hold teams hostage with his childish whims and his egomaniacal craving for flattery and cajoling… he can set new standards in the art of throwing interceptions even when you think his best years are behind him in that art form … he can get coaches fired with his prima donna antics even though his former teams the Packers and the Jets are in the playoffs and Bawlin’ Brett is stuck at home watching … but most especially Brett Favre can disgust and revolt women like nobody else can with his inimitable combination of moronic come- on lines and allegedly with his sophomorically suggestive text messages. Yes, while many athletes get into trouble over their bedroom successes with the opposite sex the Ollll’ Interception Machine has gained notoriety for Continue reading
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THE FIVE BIGGEST CREEPS IN SPORTS
This past 365 days were loaded with reminders of just why so many figures in the sports world, individually or collectively, are considered absolute creeps. Without further ado let’s take a look at the five biggest creeps in sports in my opinion.
5. JOE PATERNO – I think it’s harsh when people use words like “doddering old fool” to describe Joe Paterno or to imply that he would lose a battle of wits to Grandpa Simpson so I won’t do that. However, I will point out that Joe just seems to wander around the sidelines occassionally shouting at some red-haired guy whose only job may be to let Joe think he’s still in charge by listening to his rants for all I know (I’m kidding!). Joe should leave and let his assistants, who, by many accounts, are the ones Continue reading
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“THE OLLLLLLL’ SEXUAL HARASSER!” NFL FANHOUSE REPORTS BRETT FAVRE AND THE JETS ARE BEING SUED FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT
NFL Fanhouse reports that Bawlin’ Brett Favre and the Jets are being sued for sexual harassment. And not by Jenn Sterger at this point. Their report names two other women who are reporting behavior, which, if true, adds even more black marks to the “legacy” of a man I personally believe to be the most overrated figure in NFL history. When asked to speculate on an appropriately Favre-ian response I found myself saying “Aw, shucks, pigs and chickens! Ah just wanna play this here little game called football.”
To read the NFL Fanhouse report click here: http://nfl.fanhouse.com/2011/01/03/brett-favre-jets-reportedly-sued-for-sexual-harassment/?icid=main%7Chtmlws-main-w%7Cdl4%7Csec3_lnk1%7C193355
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“JENN WHO?”: MY FAKE Q AND A WITH THE INCREDIBLY FAKE BRETT FAVRE
Bret Favre crying while failing to comprehend why he's become such an object of contempt
Well, “The Ollllllll’ Interception Machine” Brett Favre’s lack of cooperation with the NFL’s investigation of the Jenn Sterger matter has resulted in a whopping $50,000 fine for the increasingly repulsive- and increasingly infirm-looking – quarterback. You just know somewhere Ben Roethlisberger must be kicking himself for not thinking of just stonewalling the investigation into the accusations against himself from Continue reading
SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: MY GUEST ARTICLE AT TAFFCHAT
Just a note to let readers of Balladeer’s Blog know that my guest article on scandals in collegiate athletics is up now at Taffchat, the premier sports blog of Wales. If you go to read my article I have no doubt you’ll get hooked on their fascinating take on sports, especially “the beautiful game”.
Here is the link: http://taffchat.wordpress.com/2010/12/03/guest-article-the-seamier-side-of-u-s-college-sports-by-ed-wozniak/
THIS JUST IN: SPORTS REPORTERS HAVE NEVER LAUGHED DURING ANY OF THEIR MANY FAILURES
Why exactly are any of us supposed to be upset that the Arizona Cardinals quarterback Derek Anderson was seen (gasp) LAUGHING with a teammate on the sidelines during a game in which his team looked pretty lame? The reaction – or I should say overreaction -of sports reporters to this and to the fact that Anderson was noticeably annoyed when some ankle-biting reporter was interrogating him about it as if he Continue reading
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BALLADEER’S BLOG FAKE EXPOSE: THE REAL REASON “THE U” FIRED RANDY SHANNON
Artist's depiction of a typical Miami Hurricanes football player prior to Randy Shannon's arrival
Like most college football fans I was very surprised when I heard that the dignified and professional Randy Shannon was fired as the Miami Hurricanes head football coach. Shannon was a breath of fresh air in the usual sewer of “The U”‘s football program. Last year’s 9-win season was conveniently forgotten after Coach Shannon finished this regular season with a 7-5 record and he was given the boot by an institution that has proven time and time again that it puts “The Eeewww” in Division 1 football. Shannon will not even get to coach his players in their upcoming bowl game.
I decided to do another of my deep investigative pieces and immediately smoked out some sources who were willing to speak on condition that Continue reading
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WE ARE ALL WITNESSES TO MY FAKE Q AND A WITH LEBRON JAMES
LeBron James’ desperate attempt to finally win something by getting Dwyane Wade (Dwyane is how he spells it) to carry him on his shoulders has so far resulted in a lot of well-deserved ridicule and a very unimpressive 9-8 record. Since I have as many NBA Championship rings as LeBron does I figured we could talk as equals on the current events in his career.
Name: LeBron James
Position: Public Laughing Stock
Official Balladeer’s Blog Nickname: The Lord Of No Rings
What should opponents fear the most from you? The fact that they might stumble and fall on the court because they’re so busy laughing at the way I made such an ass of myself with that whole “The Decision” special and the Continue reading
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BALLADEER’S BLOG EXPOSE: IS THE COE KOHAWKS MASCOT REALLY THE GIANT CLAW?
There’s no mistaking the hostile gleam in the eye of one of the most-wanted creatures from bad 1950’s monster movies, The Giant Claw itself, who terrorized the globe and wreaked havoc on the U.N. Building and several other landmarks before being brought down and sinking beneath the waves of the Atlantic Ocean, supposedly to its death. Alert authorities at Coe have informed me their own school’s mascot may be proof that the Anti-Matter Buzzard From Outer Space may well have survived and hidden under an assumed identity, following some plastic surgery. Coe’s Athletics Director refused to discuss the matter, claiming that they had never heard of Balladeer’s Blog and couldn’t be bothered with one of the roughly 8 million blogs in the world.
Keep checking back for further developments in what may be the biggest story since the O.J. Simpson trial!
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