This past 365 days were loaded with reminders of just why so many figures in the sports world, individually or collectively, are considered absolute creeps. Without further ado let’s take a look at the five biggest creeps in sports in my opinion.

5. JOE PATERNO – I think it’s harsh when people use words like “doddering old fool” to describe Joe Paterno or to imply that he would lose a battle of wits to Grandpa Simpson so I won’t do that. However, I will point out that  Joe just seems to wander around the sidelines occassionally shouting at some red-haired guy whose only job may be to let Joe think he’s still in charge by listening to his rants for all I know (I’m kidding!). Joe should leave and let his assistants, who, by many accounts, are the ones really running the team now, get some of the recognition that they are due. Joe’s motto seems to be “I am bigger than Penn State and I will stick around until I have undone every positive thing I accomplished in the distant past with this team!”  Joe’s huffiness when he’s asked questions any head coach needs to be asked is another reason why he’s on this list.

4. REPORTERS WHO PILED ON DEREK ANDERSON  – Yes, in a world where athletes run savage dog- fighting rings, commit domestic violence on an almost daily basis and also commit outright crimes sports reporters ridiculously got outraged that Arizona Cardinals quarterback Derek Anderson and a teammate were laughing during a bad loss. Then, in their typically ugly fashion, other sports reporters piled on Anderson just because he justifiably got annoyed at the idiotic badgering he was getting from some jerk of a reporter. Sports reporters mistakenly think they are important and get outraged when people treat them like they deserve. For my longer bit detailing why these reporters are such creeps click here:   

3. RANDY MOSS – Moss personally reminded all of us that many professional athletes are snobbish, spoiled jerks with the way he was being cruel to a real working person in the form of the caterer he trashed. That whole tirade was almost comical in the way it was reminiscent of Nigel Tufnel’s intentionally hilarious catering complaint in This Is Spinal Tap  But Moss committed the crime the NFL won’t forgive. Bullying the working class is okay in their eyes, but not catching enough balls is unacceptable and Moss got his comeuppance by becoming a non-entity as he bounced from team to team. I’m sure the caterer is somewhere laughing his ass off about all this even as we speak.

2. THE MIAMI HURRICANES – It’s no secret that Division 1 sports is one big slime- pit. No team has better represented that fact than “Da U” and its long line of thugs, animals and criminals. At least that’s how it was until Randy Shannon came along. Shannon was hired after the debacle of the U’s on-field brawl with Florida International and succeeded in getting his players to graduate and to refrain from acts that get people arrested. A nine-win season was followed by a seven -win season and that gave the loonies at Miami the transparent excuse they needed to get rid of Coach Shannon and end the progress he was making. Look for “Da U” to once again be bringing in players that belong in prison in their obsessive quest to recapture the glory days when they won in dishonest ways that resulted in various sanctions against the institution in the 1990’s. For my initial take on the Randy Shannon firing click here: 

1. BRETT FAVRE – The Ollll’ Interception Machine more than deserves his place at the top of this list. We all grew tired of his drama queen antics, his excuses, his moronic droning and we loved it when the Packers and the Jets both improved after he left. Plus it was a Christmas gift to the world seeing Phony Phavre smashed to the turf a little while back. But Bawlin’ Brett went from pathetic and annoying to outright contemptible when the Jenn Sterger situation surfaced and that was followed up most recently with the NFL Fanhouse report that Favre and the Jets were being sued for sexual harassment by two former massage therapists. It makes you think Favre’s image as an uncomplicated family man was as phony as his long-lost image as a team player. Not only that, but even though Tiger Woods took a P.R. beating for having affairs with various women all we hear about Favre is how he keeps getting rejected by women, making him seem even more pathetic than we all thought he was. For being all about himself and never the teams he plays for, for getting coaches fired when he himself may well have been the problem and  for  the hilarious way ESPN reporters crawl on their bellies for him Brett “Aw Shucks” Favre is Balladeer’s Blog’s Official Biggest Creep In Sports!  

For my fake Q&A with the NFL’s interceptions leader click here:


Filed under humor


  1. mark

    Joe Paterno? Really? I don’t get it. Favre is spot on but Joe Paterno? I can think of hundreds of sports figures bigger creeps than Joe Paterno… whatever

    • Watch a few of his press conferences .This guy can barely speak in complete sentences, seldom seems to know what’s going on yet acts like royalty when he is asked tough questions like any head coach would need to answer. Also, watch him on the sidelines. He doesn’t hold a clipboard, doesn’t wear headphones, gives no indication that he knows what’s going on yet refuses to step aside and let his assistants get the recognition they deserve.

  2. I was so sure Mike Vick would’ve been on this list…

    • He was at number 6. He hasn’t done anything jerky lately (outside of buying that $90,000 car when he owes his creditors millions) otherwise he would have been higher. Thanks for commenting!

      • You are quite welcome!
        Being an Eagle fan, I sware he better not show his jerkiness in the next couple weeks.
        Many people would put him higher in this list. I sware you mention the word Pit Bull and his name automatically gets brought up.

  3. I don’t know these guys but they sound like jerks to me…hehe

  4. Bob-C

    You rip on da U about recruiting thugs while at the same time rip on Paterno who has never recruited thugs, recruiting scandals or players arrests, and has had one of the highest rates of player graduation in the NCAA for decades. His program has been the exact opposite of everything da U stands. The two picks contradict each other. No way Joe belongs on this list. Especially on a list that excludes Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, LeBron James and Ben Rothliesberger??? If you add Randy Moss to those four, you have The Real Top Five.

    • Interesting take. I appreciate the feedback on that. The only reason LeBron wasn’t on this list was that he has made all my other negative lists and I figured my readers were getting bored with my takes on him.

  5. Especially Paterno! What a acreep!

  6. You said this perfectly! Especially about Paterno! It’s like you read the future!

  7. You were on to what a piece of garbage Paterno was earlier than most other people.

    • Watching his press conferences did the trick. What an ass. And knowing the behaved that same pompous way while covering up multiple child rapes according to the Freeh Report makes him even more deserving of contempt.

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