Category Archives: Bad and weird movies

BAD MOVIE TRIPLE FEATURE

As more foreplay for the upcoming Frontierado holiday (August 3rd) here’s a look at 3 weird westerns. For more bad movie reviews see my Bad Movie page.

BAD KIDS OF THE WEST (1967) – Even for a Spaghetti Western this movie is weird, weird, weird. A pair of outlaws on the run hide out in a town populated only by children who act like adult western townspeople. The little boys all try to act like the steely-eyed killers played by Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, Franco Nero, John Garko, etc. The little girls all act like slutty saloon whores, making you wonder if child molesters were this film’s target audience. The charming vibe of Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: LEWD LIZARD (1985)

lizard_bigI normally don’t post two movie reviews this close to each other, but I got to thinking today about how it’s been awhile since I got any threatening emails. Since getting semi-literate missives from outraged people is half the fun of writing this blog I decided to finish working on my rough draft of this review and post it today.

LEWD LIZARD (1985) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic but its thoroughly outrageous premise will prevent it from ever garnering a Plan 9– sized cult following

This film comes to us from Hong Kong, the home of killer fetus movies and similar treats, so those with weak stomachs are forewarned. My addiction to truly awful Mad Scientist movies is well known and Lewd Lizard’s lead character is the maddest of them all but also the least scientific, adding immeasurably to the laughs. 

There’s no gentle way of explaining this movie, so to prepare you for what is to come let me Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP (1980)

 HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP (1980) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following 

Okay, this movie is better known than many of the other joyously bad films I review, but it still hasn’t acquired the reputation or the following it deserves as Midnight Movie or Movie Host material. Vic Morrow IS the heavy and Doug McClure IS another bland and unmemorable hero in this Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE ENCORE – ASSIGNMENT: TERROR (1970)

 I’ve been getting emails requesting that I review this movie, but I already did in 2010. For the folks requesting it, here it is again. And remember, if you want instant gratification for your bad movie fix you can check my Bad Movie page to see if I’ve already reviewed the movie you’re requesting: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

ASSIGNMENT: TERROR (1970) – If they gave a Nobel Prize for bad movie premises this baby would easily wind up wearing one of those big medallions around its neck! Spain’s King of Horror (and John Belushi look-alike) , Paul “Jacinto Molina” Naschy is in this film playing his recurring character, tormented lycanthrope Waldemar Daninsky. The premise of this movie is that aliens plan to conquer the world by frightening humanity into submission by scaring us with monsters. Call me crazy, but I think Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: CRIMINALLY INSANE (1974)

 I’ve been getting emails requesting that I review this movie, but I already did in 2010. For the folks requesting it, here it is again. And remember, if you want instant gratification for your bad movie fix you can check my Bad Movie page to see if I’ve already reviewed the movie you’re requesting: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

CRIMINALLY INSANE (1974) – Category: The 70′s version of camp, with a premise and plot elements that would have been banned in previous decades.

WOULD YOU BELIEVE … this film features Ethel, a female slasher who is incredibly overweight … WOULD YOU BELIEVE … that her eating disorder is the point of the film, because after being released from a mental institution at the beginning, she takes to killing people who come between her and her next meal…

WOULD YOU BELIEVE …after killing her Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: DR JEKYLL’S DUNGEON OF DEATH (1979)

This poster is much more exciting than the movie itself

 DOCTOR JEKYLL’S DUNGEON OF DEATH (1979)- CategoryEnjoyably bad but not fun-bad enough for my highest rating.        

 It’s a heart-warming little movie about a mad scientist (are there any other kind?) who is a descendant of the original Dr Jekyll. He’s using a new version of the family formula on human guinea pigs who then engage in fierce martial-arts battles in his dungeon laboratory. Some of those unfortunate human subjects are provided to him via a covert arrangement with the local prison while others are snatched off the street for him by his regulation  hulking, simple-minded lab assistant.  

The best part is that he plans to use these kung-fu versions of Mr Hyde as super-soldiers to help win the Vietnam War! Well, it’s better than anything either Johnson or Nixon came up with! Actually, the movie goes to great pains to Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: THE WIZARD OF MARS (1965)

 THE WIZARD OF MARS – (1965) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following  

This 1965 film from David L Hewitt is my all-time favorite kitschy movie about space travel. This one has all the little extras that separate a true bad movie classic from the mere pretenders. One of those extras would be incredibly cheap special effects, some of them cadged right from the old Soviet sci-fi flick Planet of Storms, which is a lot of fun for people like me who’ve seen those same bits of footage show up in countless other bad movies. (Especially the spaceship’s “viewscreen” complete with markings for North, South, East and West, which would, of course, be meaningless in space)

Another extra that this film has is the man I consider to be the Patron Saint of Bad Movies, John Carradine himself, as the titular wizard. I don’t recommend trying to see all the movies John Carradine has appeared in unless you plan on making a career out of it and I don’t recommend that either. (Somewhere around his Continue reading

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BLAXPLOITATION’S “LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY WOMEN”

In Balladeer’s Blog’s fourth look at blaxploitation films from the 1970’s I’ll examine some of the pulp-action heroines. I’ve already covered Pam Grier’s various characters in a previous post, plus I dealt with Syreena, the leader of the black female biker gang in Darktown Strutters in my post on blaxploitation films that transcended their genre. “Sugar” Hill and her legion of zombies were addressed in my Halloween post on blaxploitation horror films. Christy Love is not included because as a television character she lacked the edginess of her big-screen sisters. 

4. VELVET SMOOTH (1976) – Along with The Guy From H.A.R.L.E.M. this film occupies the very bottom of the blaxploitation action barrel. It also sports one of the least memorable theme songs from a category of movies known for their kickass songs and music. 

Johnnie Hill plays the title heroine, a private eye who finds herself hired by a drug kingpin called King Lathrop to find out who’s behind the masked goons moving in on his territory. The plot jumps all over the place, however, and the film’s efforts at presenting action scenes are utterly ridiculous. The characters move very, very slowly but the scenes are not in slow motion. Instead it’s just that the actors, who obviously weren’t skilled martial artists, look like they’re concentrating so hard on their choreography that their moves are comically sluggish. At other times the Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: THE BABY (1973)

 The encore presentation of my review of the 70’s cult horror bomb The Baby, originally from 2010, is up now at Man In Black Reviews.

THE BABY (1973) – Category: The 70’s version of camp, with a premise and plot elements that would have been banned in previous decades.       It’s hard to believe Ted Post was involved with this strange movie. It was considered very weird and kinky even in the 1970’s when it came out, and that was long before the internet made the entire world aware of the infantilism fetish that this film reeks of! “Baby” himself redefines the expression “arrested development”, since he’s a full-grown adult who crawls around in a diaper (which needs changing occassionally – all together now – Eeewwwww!), sleeps in a big crib, eats baby food and Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE: BLOOD OF DRACULA (1957)

 I’ve been getting emails requesting that I review this movie, but I already did in 2010. For the folks requesting it, here it is again. And remember, if you want instant gratification for your bad movie fix you can check my Bad Movie page to see if I’ve already reviewed the movie you’re requesting: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

BLOOD OF DRACULA (1957) – Category: Bad enough and with a classically weird premise but not fun-bad enough for my highest rating.   Not to be confused with Blood Of Dracula’s Castle, yet another of the roughly 9,712 movies in which John Carradine appeared. No, this little honey is best remembered as the movie that should have been called I Was A Teenage Vampire. It’s from the people who brought us both I Was A Teenage Werewolf and I Was A Teenage   Frankenstein. Not only Continue reading

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