Monthly Archives: July 2015

BLUE DRAGONS PICKED TO REPEAT AS CONFERENCE CHAMPS

BlUE DRAGONSBIGGGGGGGGGThe preseason poll has selected the HUTCHINSON COLLEGE BLUE DRAGONS to repeat as Jayhawk Conference champions in 2015. Last year saw the Blue Dragons have the best season in team history and they fell just one game short of playing for the National Championship. Their lone loss of the season came against Iowa Western College, which wound up losing in the national title game.

Hutchinson Blue DragonsHutchinson College, meanwhile, won their first unshared Jayhawk Conference crown since 1996, won their 6th straight Salt City Bowl and are trying to repeat as conference champs for the first time since their Threepeat of 1948-1950.

Here’s how the preseason poll placed all eight teams in the Jayhawk Conference:

1. HUTCHINSON COLLEGE BLUE DRAGONS

2. COFFEYVILLE COLLEGE RED RAVENS

3. BUTLER (KS) GRIZZLIES Continue reading

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MALDOROR 5:7 – BLACK TARANTULA

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror

BLACK TARANTULA

Maldoror 5 7 tarantulaWe are now on the 5th Canto, 7th Stanza of The Songs of Maldoror. The supernatural villain Maldoror gets more of what he deserves this time around. If you enjoyed his suffering in Four Centuries on a Shapeless Throne then you’ll like this Stanza, too. 

Maldoror tells us that every night for the past 10 years a macabre torment has been inflicted on him. In the small hours of the morning he lies in bed and feels himself paralyzed while an enormous black tarantula emerges from a hole in the wall of whatever room he happens to find himself in. 

He helplessly watches as the monstrous figure crawls over to his bed, then up on it until he is pinned beneath its massive, man-sized body. The huge black tarantula then proceeds to suck the purplish blood from his throat. Continue reading

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BOGIE: A SPECIAL LITTLE GUY BELOVED BY ALL

Photo collection masterfully assembled by another of my sisters - Debbie.

Photo collection masterfully assembled by another of my sisters – Debbie. That’s Rosemary and my nephew Donny with Bogie in the photos.

Earlier this week my sister Rosemary’s dog Bogie left us. I would have posted a few days ago but couldn’t help crying every time I would try to type anything about this.

Aristotle felt that the loyal and affectionate nature of dogs earned them a place in the afterlife. Bogie’s blend of sweetness, intelligence and selfless devotion could convince even the most cynical and skeptical of people that Aristotle was right.

Even neighborhood children just adored Bogie (named for Rosemary’s favorite actor Humphrey Bogart) and often spontaneously hugged him and told him they loved him. Those children would also often gather at windows and stare in at Bogie, excitedly yelling “He’s moving! Oh my God!” when he would do anything at all, even just walk to his water dish for a drink.

Human beings would be lucky to be as loving, gentle, and delightful as Bogie always was. His passing has left a hole in our lives that we feel aching every minute of the day.  

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Q&A: WHY ARE AMERICAN LIBERALS SO REPULSIVE?

liberals and conservativesI often get emails and comments that say things like: “Given the type of things you write about you’re clearly not a Conservative so why do you bash Liberals so much?” Or even: “What makes American Liberals such unbearable jackasses?”

Let me provide one small example. Not so long ago, one of America’s female Conservatives (which one is not important to this example) was speaking at a Tea Party event and closed by exhorting her audience to “Party like it’s 1773.”

American Liberals all across the media and the internet had a field day ridiculing the woman for saying that. In their usual prickish, pompous manner American Liberals assumed the woman had meant to say 1776, which was the year the Declaration of Independence was signed. Liberal asses repeated their snobbish “Conservatives are stupid” meme over and over again because of this incident.

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

Actually since the Boston Tea Party, the event the Tea Party takes its name from, happened in 1773 – NOT 1776 – the Conservative Woman had the right year. That simple fact was lost and/or ignored in the slew of jokes about how “historically illiterate” Conservatives supposedly are for defending the woman. Talk shows, news shows, internet humor outlets all ran with the usual “Conservatives are morons” sentiment for several days.  

Let me emphasize this for my overseas readers: the people who had the historical reference RIGHT became national laughingstocks and were being ridiculed as “stupid” by the people who were WRONG about the historical reference. Corrections were never run or aired by any of the offending outlets. The historical fact was lost in the rush to ridicule and all the general public remembered was that, supposedly, once again Conservatives had revealed how “stupid” they are. Continue reading

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MALDOROR 5:6 – FUNERAL FOR THE LIVING

Balladeer’s Blog resumes its examination of the macabre 1868 French language work The Songs of Maldoror.

FUNERAL FOR THE LIVING

Maldoror 5 6 graveyardMaldoror is enjoying another visit through a random graveyard and, being the malevolent creature that he is, finds himself amused by the funeral procession for a 10 year old child. The priest performing the service enters first, holding a white flag in one hand and in the other a flag that bears a golden cross.

Maldoror sardonically describes the cross as “a symbol of the interaction of male and female sex organs.” Behind the priest comes the horse-drawn hearse followed by the chief mourner and behind him come the family and friends of the deceased. Our narrator pretends that the crickets and frogs that cling to the fringes of the funeral procession are also mourning the delicate little child in the coffin.     Continue reading

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POLO: FINAL MATCHUP SET FOR THE BUTLER HANDICAP

Balladeer’s Blog continues its coverage of the world’s OLDEST team sport.

Airstream NomadsThe other team playing in the championship match of the Butler Handicap at Greenwich Polo Club has been established. The AIRSTREAM NOMADS defeated the K.I.G. LIVERYMEN to advance to Thursday’s title game against Greenwich’s own WHITE BIRCH.

The Airstream team:

The Airstream team: Peter Orthwein (Ace), Guillermo Aguerro (Deuce), Michel Dorignac (Chevy), Mariano Gonzalez (Back)

The first Chukker ended in a 2-2 tie and set the pace for the rest of this defense-heavy match. At the end of Chukker number 5 Airstream held a 7 to 4 advantage over K.I.G. In the 6th Chukker the Liverymen shut out the Nomads and tied the game at 7-7, forcing a Golden Goal sudden death situation.    Continue reading

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FROGS (1972) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Frogs (1972)Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault! In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class hosted this neglected cult show. Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of the program’s THIRTIETH  anniversary year.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday July 5th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. 

Atom Man vs SupermanSERIAL: Before showing and mocking Frogs our members of the Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) showed and mocked an episode of the 1950 Columbia serial Atom Man vs Superman. Kirk Alyn starred as Superman with Lyle Talbot as his archenemy Lex Luthor. Lex has his own secret identity in this serial – each episode he dons a lead mask and oversees the villainy as “Atom Man”.

This was one of the liveliest and most campily watchable serials of the 50s. Especially laughable are the bits when Superman “flies” – an effect achieved by switching from live footage of Kirk Alyn to INSERTED CARTOON FOOTAGE of Superman flying. Think of the ‘Toons in Roger Rabbit interacting with the live backgrounds and you have the idea.  

FV1985002HOST SEGMENTS/COMEDY SKETCHES: Randy and Richard’s interview with Sam Elliott, conducted at Ben Johnson’s ranch, was shown. Elliott was also one of the stars of Frogs

THE MOVIE: Frogs was another low point in the career of Ray Milland, along with The Thing With Two Heads, shown previously on The Texas 27 Film Vault. Pollution was to cheap monster movies of the 70s what atomic radiation was to cheap monster movies of the 50s. In other words it was the catch-all explanation for anything and everything. In this movie’s case pollution, which Ray Milland’s corporations are heavily guilty of, is to blame for wild animals (NOT just frogs, despite the movie’s title) going berserk and viciously attacking human beings.    Continue reading

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WELCOME TO BLOOD CITY (1977)

Welcome to Blood CityFrontierado is coming up on Friday, August 7th!

WELCOME TO BLOOD CITY (1977) Even for a Weird Western, this baby is OUT THERE! The best way to describe it is like a cross between Westworld and the original Patrick McGoohan series The Prisoner.

The opening will likely remind people of the television series Lost with our heroes, led by Keir Dullea, finding themselves in a strange landscape  dressed in prison garb with no recollection of what circumstances led them to this plight. They eventually are rounded up and taken to Blood City, a town straight out of the Ollllllllld West. Continue reading

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WNBA STANDINGS

New York LibertyEASTERN CONFERENCE – 1. NEW YORK LIBERTY (10-5)    ###    2. CHICAGO SKY (10-6)    ###    3. WASHINGTON MYSTICS (8-6)    ###    4. INDIANA FEVER (8-7)    ###    5. CONNECTICUT SUN (7-7)    ###    6. ATLANTA DREAM (7-9)    ###     Continue reading

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RAMADAN 2015: FINAL BODY COUNT

Islam

Islam

Well the 2015 Ramadan Murder-Palooza is behind us now and as an atheist I’ve been posting a periodic update on the murders committed in the name of that most intolerant and violent of religions at this particular point in history. This past week a Muslim animal even killed 5 people in Chattanooga, TN to do his part in celebrating Ramadan.

DEAD 2,988   WOUNDED 3,696

MASS KILLINGS IN THE NAME OF OTHER RELIGIONS DURING THIS SAME PERIOD: None. Quite a contrast. 

The real standout on July 17th was the slaying and wounding of over 100 innocent men, women and children by Mujahid bomb attacks in Kahn Bani Saad.

Til next year, who knows how many of us will fall victim to Muslim fanatics between now and then? One thing is certain though, gutless grovelers for Islam will continue to enable and make excuses for all the killing those fanatics do.   Continue reading

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