Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault, which debuted on February 9th, 1985.
Balladeer’s Blog continues its celebration of this program’s FORTIETH anniversary year.
EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Per fellow fan Silivant the date was Saturday January 24th, 1987 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. Broadcast throughout Texas and Oklahoma.
SERIAL: None this week. The movie, commercials and Film Vault Corps comedy sketches took up the entire running time.
Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault
HOST SEGMENTS/ COMEDY SKETCHES: There is some disagreement among Texas 27 Film Vault fans. One faction argues that this was the episode in which Randy Clower – interested in preserving his youth like the main character in the night’s movie – took the nonexistent chemical Multiquixiphiline (see my exclusive interview with Randy Clower).
That chemical made him much younger, overdoing it to the point of restoring him to childhood. Randy’s real-life son Jaron played the young version of himself in the series of sketches. Once again Tex (Ken Miller) saved the day and Randy was restored to his normal age. Randy himself did not remember if this really was the movie with that storyline in the Host Segments.
Dorian and his suspiciously Warhol-esque portrait
THE MOVIE: THE SECRET OF DORIAN GRAY (1970) – A terrific idea was blown in this hilariously flawed attempt to adapt Oscar Wilde’s Picture of Dorian Gray to swinging 60s London. Helmut Berger, who was sort of a Nordic Michael York back when this movie was made, stars as our title hero whose portrait begins to reflect all the physical and spiritual wear and tear of Dorian’s hedonistic lifestyle, thus preserving his young, beautiful physical form. Continue reading
GARTER COLT (1968) – Previously, I reviewed the Spaghetti Western 
And naturally the low-cut outfits worn by Lulu and supporting character Rosy (Marisa Solinas) allow for additional alluring shots. 
Our story is set in 1867 as Mexican rebels are on the verge of overthrowing and executing Emperor Maximilian, the Austrian dictator imposed on them by Napoleon the Third while America was too busy with its Civil War to be able to enforce the Monroe Doctrine. Other Spaghetti Westerns, like 
Richard Denning is best remembered as the relentlessly affable Governor Paul Jameson on the original Hawaii 5-0 series. He made 74 appearances on that cop show but had previously filled starring roles in other television programs like Mr. and Mrs. North, The Flying Doctor, Michael Shayne and Karen. 
UNKNOWN ISLAND (1948) 
SEA DEVILS (1953) – As England and other nations battle France in 1800, English Captain Gilliatt (Rock Hudson) has abandoned his career as a fisherman to become a smuggler. He excels at the task and over the past few years he and his ship the Sea Devil have gained quite a reputation. 
Amid much swordplay and other action during frequent trips across the Channel, Gilliatt struggles to keep her alive and understand the motives of this beautiful woman with whom he has fallen in love. 
PAGANINI HORROR (1989) – Directed by Luigi Cozzi, better known to us fans of psychotronic movies as the Italian Ed Wood. Three women and one man constitute a heavy metal band desperate for a hit song. They strike a Faustian bargain with the mysterious Mr. Pickett, played by Donald Pleasence. 
Playing the piece while filming at the mansion causes Paganini to rise from the dead and lets loose other forces of Hell. Those characters not butchered by the masked, undead maestro via a knife that pops out of his violin are slaughtered by the supernatural forces now at large in the house. 
Balladeer’s Blog resumes its shoutout to the FORTIETH anniversary year of The Texas 27 Film Vault, one of the many Bad Movie Shows since the 1950s. The program debuted on Saturday February 9th, 1985. 
“See how he apes his father” was a saying long associated with contemporary enemies of John Quincy Adams as a complaint about how the younger Adams was as stubborn and single-minded as his father John Adams. He pursued his own ends regardless of political consequences. 
THE CORSICAN BROTHERS (1941) – Another of the many adaptations of the Alexandre Dumas novel that have very little to do with the original storyline. In this case the tale was transformed into an action-packed sword-fighting, gun blazing, hell-for-leather chase vehicle for Doug Jr. 
Each grows into a man of action, Lucien as a bandit chief and Mario as a dueling, gambling ladies’ man. When they are reunited they set out to bring down the man who massacred their family – Baron Colonna (Akim Tamiroff), now the tyrannical ruler of Corsica. 
OGROFF aka The Mad Mutilator (1983) – This thoroughly bizarre French movie whose maker somehow conned horror icon Howard Vernon into appearing is easily one of the worst films ever made. Norbert G. Moutier owned a video store in France and published a horror fanzine. 
Today, actor and director John Derek is remembered mostly because of his wives – Bo Derek, Ursula Andress, Linda Evans and Pati Behrs. 
ROGUES OF SHERWOOD FOREST (1950) – John starred as Robin, Earl of Huntington, the son of Robin Hood. When Richard the Lionheart passes away in 1199 A.D. King John (George Macready) returns to his old ways of oppressing and heavily taxing the citizens. He also imports an army of foreign mercenaries faithful only to him, not England. 
SCREAMBOOK (1984) – Ever see a feature length horror film written, produced and directed by a 13-year-old? And with nearly all the roles – of all ages – played by fellow teenagers? Obviously, I’ll be grading this flick on a curve in this review. 
