Previously, Balladeer’s Blog reviewed various examples of Bruceploitation Movies, that odd subgenre full of martial arts spectacles exploiting and otherwise trying to cash in on the explosion of popularity in kung-fu films that the real Bruce Lee brought to the west.
I examined The Clones of Bruce Lee, about three clones made from the dead Bruce’s cell samples; The Dragon Lives Again, about Bruce fighting his way back from the Afterlife; and Fist of Fear, Touch of Death, in which a tournament to crown Lee’s successor features moves like tearing out your opponent’s eyeballs in what the film calls “a dazzling piece of showmanship.”
Here are some more of the weirdest, most bottom of the barrel Bruceploitation productions ever made.
BRUCE, KUNG FU GIRLS (1977) – Also released as Bruce’s Angels, Bruce Lee’s Kung Fu Girls and several other titles, but I have a soft spot for this more inane title selection. I really hope that movies titled Bruce, Gone with the Wind; Bruce, Whose Life is it Anyway? and Bruce, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues also exist. But as we’ve established, I’m kind of weird.
Taiwan’s Sweetheart Polly Shang Kwan stars as Polly, who works as a martial arts instructor at a health resort. When her police superintendent uncle is at wit’s end dealing with the reign of terror of a criminal who can turn invisible, Polly gets called in to help the force take him down.
Bruce, Polly has her four best female students join her in this elite crimefighting unit as she romances the young scientist who made the stolen invisibility formula, lip-synchs (horribly) to a pop song and guards a moon rock so that it doesn’t get stolen. Bruce, this flick is a head-shaker. Continue reading
THE BARON (1966-1967) – This ITC/ABC venture starred rugged he-man Steve Forrest as wealthy Texan John Mannering, who works for British Intelligence under the codename the Baron. Mannering’s assistant was Cordelia Winfield, played by the British actress Sue Lloyd. 
Mannering’s cover in London was an antique dealer and jet-set playboy. He drove around in a Jensen C-V8 that had the personalized license plate BAR 1. The Baron was originally a character from novels but John Mannering bore little resemblance to his printed page counterpart.
By 411 BC the Peloponnesian War between Athens (and its allied city-states) and Sparta (and its allied city-states) had been raging for roughly 20 years. The war provides the backdrop for many of Aristophanes’ surviving comedies and is especially relevant where Lysistrata is concerned. Weary of the long, drawn-out conflict the women of Athens, led by the title character Lysistrata (supposedly based on Lysimache, the Priestess of Athena in Athens at the time), join forces with the women of Sparta and decide to withhold sex from the men until they agree to bring an end to the war. 
NUMBER TEN TAKES A FALL – In NCAA Division Three the 23rd ranked GROVE CITY COLLEGE WOLVERINES were on the road against the number 10 team in the nation – the CORTLAND STATE RED DRAGONS. The Red Dragons led 7-0 in the opening Quarter but Grove City tied things up 14-14 at the Half. The Wolverines shut them out from there to win the game 31-14.
HILLSDALE ON THE ROAD – The storied HILLSDALE COLLEGE CHARGERS traveled to face the MCKENDREE UNIVERSITY BEARCATS. A scoreless 1st Quarter was followed by a 14-0 Chargers lead at Halftime. In the 3rd Quarter the Bearcats made it a 14-14 tie, then went up 17-14 in the 4th. Hillsdale then came from behind for a 22-17 victory. 
So, with Buford Pusser being exposed very recently and the Warrens being exposed long ago, yet movies still being made that depict the latter two figures in a positive light, watching any of the many movies about all of them seems in bad taste now.
LADY JUSTICE Vol 1 #1 (Sep 1995) 
LADY JUSTICE Vol 1 #2 (Oct 1995) 
NAIA OVER THE NCAA – The only NAIA game last night was this one between the VALLEY CITY STATE VIKINGS and the visiting AUGSBURG UNIVERSITY AUGGIES from NCAA Division Three. This clash was over almost before it began as the Vikings seized a 19-0 lead in the 1st Quarter on their way to a 27-0 shutout of the Auggies. 
BATTLE OF RANKED TEAMS – The number 18 team in the nation – the CALIFORNIA (PA) UNIVERSITY VULCANS – welcomed the 21st ranked UNIVERSITY OF CHARLESTON GOLDEN EAGLES. A 10-7 opening Quarter advantage for the Vulcans became a 20-13 lead by Halftime. The Golden Eagles outscored Cal (PA) 6-3 from there, but the Vulcans won this 23-19 thriller.
ALL NAME GAMES – The HENDERSON STATE REDDIES trounced the SOUTHERN NAZARENE UNIVERSITY CRIMSON STORM 48-13 ### Meanwhile, the UNIVERSITY OF ARKANSAS AT MONTICELLO BOLL WEEVILS won 32-10 at the SOUTHEASTERN OKLAHOMA STATE SAVAGE STORM ### And the SOUTHERN ARKANSAS UNIVERSITY MULERIDERS dismembered the OKLAHOMA BAPTIST UNIVERSITY BISON 49-14. 
THE SHADOW OF THE VULTURE – This story by Robert E. Howard, the ONLY Howard story to actually feature Red Sonya, was first published in the January 1934 issue of Magic Carpet Magazine. As I’ve mentioned in many other reviews of old pulp characters, Howard’s REAL Red Sonya was indeed a warrior woman, but not one from his fictional Hyborian Age.
The Shadow of the Vulture is one of Howard’s historical adventures and it’s set during the 1520s, largely at the Siege of Vienna from September 27th to October 15th in 1529. Red Sonya of Rogatino is a Polish-Ukrainian woman who is more skilled than most men with swords and guns.
Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault! (I often point that out to cut down on hearing from people who don’t notice the broadcast dates and angrily claim this show imitated MST3K, which is impossible since this Texas show came first.)
EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday May ??, 1987 from 10:30pm to 1:00 am. Exact date is still being debated. Any Vaulties with further information please feel free to contact me. 
THE MOVIE: KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK (1978) – Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Peter Criss and Ace Frehley stumble their way through this notoriously awful and unceasingly hilarious excuse for a movie. It’s like a feature-length Josie and the Pussycats cartoon but with KISS of all bands in the lead roles. The only thing missing from this movie is El Santo as the four members of KISS are depicted possessing super-powers … yes, SUPER-POWERS!
DEADBEAT AT DAWN (1988) – Four years in the making, Deadbeat at Dawn is rightfully called America’s Street Fighter – as in 
Audiences not only wince at the violence in Deadbeat at Dawn, they thrill to the stunts that Van Bebber and his collaborators were able to pull off without the benefit of professional stuntmen or fight choreographers. 
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